2005 Empire of Metopia World Championship Team
Men
Name Age Hometown Seed
100 meters
Intangir 86
Tim Willis 18 Mercury City 9.99
Cole Obikwela 22 Addis
200 meters
Horst Hash 24 Pinaal 20.05
Hyperion Smith 27 New
Brian Mascarpone 22 Brie 20.19
400 meters
dnL Man 26 Costa Del Sol 44.41
Thor Cul-de-Sac 20
Jeremy Rowe 18 L’Homme d’la Batte 45.12
800 meters
dnL Man 26 Costa Del Sol 1:45.23
Andrew Riotor 33 New
Dave Matthews 22 Cangro 1:46.13
1500 meters
Bard Nilsson 24 Stualts Dlaft 3:30.62
Bryan Buzzard 27 Dumbass Flats 3:35.21
Cullen O’Neil 16 Sustuli 3:36.13
5000 meters
Haggis MacPlaid 26 Terminus 13:09.47
Brad O’Neil 18 Vybornyville 13:00.64
Brandon Spalding 18 Blandenton 13:11.41
10000 meters
Jimmy Brighton 25 Spalding 27:45.33
Wombat Harness 29 Lockbridge 27:36.29
110 meters Hurdles
Jormungand W.
Wayneright 27 Addax 12.92
An Addax 14 Addax 13.13
Intangir 86
Baba O’Reilly 22
400 meters Hurdles
An
George Addax 3 Addax 48.04
3000 meters
Steeplechase
Man in 1986 Crown
Karston DeBoer 23 Midgar 8:14.55
Launcher Timber Québec 25
Long Jump
Arthur Polecats 19 Addax 8.33m
John Cheese 24 Brie 8.22m
Sammy Scumbag 22 Alligator Bay 8.25m
Triple Jump
Willie Robinson 18 Atalanta 17.13m
Adam Spratt 20 Terminus 17.19m
High Jump
Stephen Winkler 18 Haylen Beach 2.42m
Jim Won’tis 23 Stualts Dlaft 2.46m
Man with Ladder 30 Chartreuse City 2.38m
Homer Smellson 21 Jarrod’s Villa 2.38m
Pole Vault
Brian Antoinette 21 Ibex 5.75m
Sir Vyborny 44 Vybornyville 5.79m
Shot Put
Donut Dan 22 Jasson 21.46m
Hurricane Bob 19
Intangir 86
Discus Throw
E.F. Bradshaw 22 Midgar 70.03m
Freddy Kylor 31 Duckworth 69.02m
Jason Kylor 28 Duckworth 68.25m
Javelin Throw
Vork the Alien 27 Aldebaran-7 85.80m
Sir Lee 18
Hammer Throw
Arthur Cosgrove 56 Blandenton 85.45m
Lord Enormous 22 Terminus 82.84m
Decathlon
Dick Hargreaves 20 Addax 7864
Man w/various
Cheating Implements 34 Chartreuse City 7753
20km Race-Walk
William Williamson 24 South Sabresville
Homestar Walker 28 Launch
W.A. Mozart 36 New
50km Race-Walk
Strong Brad 24 Addax
Colin Nilsson 22 Stualts
Dlaft
Coach Clifton 33
Lasse Viren Jr. 27 Vybornyville
Haichoge Kiplagebrselassie 32 Addis
John Read 20* Vybornyville
* We had to lie about his age so he could run the marathon
Women
100 meters
Empiria Firuz 21 Launch
Leslie Hax 20
Lassie MacDowell 27 Terminus 11.29
200 meters
Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 25
Lassie O’Shea 26 Terminus 22.69
400 meters
Regan Anamy 19 Terminus 49.87
Anna Addax 24 Addax 49.95
Lady Orangehopper 22 Titopolis 50.13
800 meters
Shannon Harvey 18
Woman on Bicycle 29 Chartreuse City 1:59.96
Lady Ryan 19 5K Island 1:58.84
1500 meters
Leah Chaldares 16 Stualts Dlaft 4:04.36
Eva Hitler 28
5000 meters
Emily Fritts 18 Metopolis 14:57.29
Mary Markz 26 Duckworth 15:07.82
Deena Hannoun 20 Metope Cay 15:07.92
10000 meters
Jenny Brighton 24 Spalding 31:10.95
Emmy Rossum 20
Kitty Lysek 27 Froida 31:38.72
100 meters Hurdles
Wanda Cheap-Laugh 31
Marcia Talons 28 Monument Valley 12.88
Lois Griffin 37 Berrington 12.94
400 meters Hurdles
Pepsi Blue Girl 21
Eva Hitler 19
LaDawn Fink 17 Vybornyville 55.21
Long Jump
Ashley Maracle 24 Midgar 6.76m
Triple Jump
Ashley Maracle 24 Midgar 14.43m
Salah Kahuns 21
High Jump
LaDawn Fink 17 Vybornyville 1.95m
Kyomuri Shitake 24 Hyorikiorinatakahasapasanatsu 1.95m
Pole Vault
Tara Altizer 18 East Grinstead 4.50m
Marie Brie 26
Shot Put
Man in Drag 34 Chartreuse City 19.97m
Lucinda Wildebeest 30
Amy Lee Brie 26
Discus Throw
Margie Zimmerman 30
Vork’s wife, Valeska 27 Aldebaran-7 62.10m
Javelin Throw
Maitresse Foncee 20 Metopolis 63.54m
Majina Tom 36 Launch
Mila Rowe 23 Blue Haven 63.42m
Hammer Throw
Woman on Steroids 37 Chartreuse City 71.64m
Kris Krystoff 28 Terminus 70.00m
Elle Alysa 26 Terminus 70.55m
Heptathlon
Woman w/ various Cheating Im… 31
Alysha Handjula 23
Megan Hunt 26 Terminus 6345
20km Race-Walk
Jun “Kazama” Smith 22 Hiriz City
Samantha Stringbottom-Smith 30 Mercury City
Deena Pollux 34 Froida
Ellin Sweet 24 Stualts Dlaft
Shawn Lear 32 Hiriz City