Provisional Fascism

Fuck me? Fuck you.

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Latest Updates Are at Bottom of Page. Deal.

Monday, 10/28/02 - Let's do launch sometime. Get it, let's do launch, not lunch? Ha, ha, ha!

Shut up.

Ah, humble beginnings.

So I got tired of yammering about a site that didn't exist. It exists now. The terror.

I actually said yammering. Wow.

Tuesday, 10/29/02 - Day 2

Still here. Things will be taking shape soon. Spending most of my design time working on the Conservatory - full list of favorite artists, complete with links to respective sites, and also expect some articles about shitty music and what makes it shitty.

But that's still in the works. I can be loved in the mean time.

Brilliance - if Jean Carnahan loses to Jim Talent in the Missouri Senate race, she can just go up to Minnesota and fill in for Paul Wellstone. After all, she does have experience filling in for dead guys.

Jean Carnahan = Pinocchio, or puppet with "truth" issues. I guess that means Ted Kennedy is Gepetto. [Cue Metallica's "Master of Puppets"] I'm clever.

And speaking of truth, ever had a bad break-up?

Wednesday, 10/30/02 - [Your Ad Here]

Music page = pain in the ass. This is literally going to take weeks. Expect an FAQ. But don't expect it soon.

You people deserve more.


Thursday, 10/31/02 - Happy Kwanzaa! Wait...

Campbell has a police car. I couldn't even make this stuff up.

Friday, 11/1/02 - Halloween Post-Game Analysis

Lawrence, beer, McCue's house, drunk emo kids at McCue's house, drunk emo's kids getting kicked out of McCue's house, (warmer) beer, drunk emo kids trying to get back into McCue's house, drunk emo kids (again) getting kicked out of McCue's house, un-named friend's girlfriend spazzing the fuck out, drunk emo kids loitering in front of McCue's house while everyone on porch heckles them, (warm) beer. Add two Burrito Kings, stir, and pass out.

But who says it has to stop there?

Today is All Saints Day! Hail Satan! I get to dress up TWICE!

Saturday, 11/2/02


Sunday, 11/3/02 - My Life Is a Hell Without Bounds.

With school running at full tilt, I regret to inform all of you that I am taking an indefinite hiatus from updating the site so I can get some fucking school work done. I am soooooooooooo behind.

Miss me.

Wednesday, 11/6/02 - Post-Election Special!

You know, that's got a nice ring to it, Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle. Heh, heh, heh...


Note to self: Start having something to say.

Note to other self: Shut the fuck up!

Thursday, 11/7/02 - Happy Birthday (You Know Who You Are)

Someone tell Jakob Dylan that the Wallflowers could stand to be a little more boring. Thank you.

Sunday, 11/10/02 - Updating...

I've noticed lately that putting off procrastinating is like trying to throw away a trash can.

That's as much clever as you're gonna get out of me today. Grab a deck of cards and deal with it.

Did I mention something about a FAQ?

Saturday, 11/16/02 - Weekend of Rawk!

This is an awesome weekend for maximum rockage in Kansas City. Shiner destroyed many an ear drum at Davey's Uptown last eve, and tonight it's on to the Hurricane for Traindodge, The Casket Lottery, and Dirtnap. Pain.

Interesting thing about that Shiner show: not only did Owens nearly sock Allen Epley (Shiner vocalist) in the face while fucking around before Shiner's set, but during the set he also managed to hit on Epley's wife, the wife's sister, and the wife's sister's friend. 3/3! And wouldn't you know he had no idea who they were until Epley's wife said, "And by the way, I'm 30, I have a kid, and I'm married to the guy singing up there."

Other highlights include the idiot blonde groupie who saw me and Owens sporting the black suits with white shirts and skinny black ties, and asked us if we were corporate whores or Mods. I responded with, "Both. We're gonna take the system down from the inside," while Owens twirled his hair and said, "Like, oh my god! That's, like, way too intellectual for me."

The look on that bitch's face was priceless.

Monday, 11/18/02 - It's, er, I'm Alive!!!

Well things have calmed down a little at school, so it's business as usual - but don't forget the many pleasures of finals that are just around the corner. I'm working like a striped [insert random offensive word - preferably one with racial connotations to upset the pussies], trying to get those artist pages done. I'm done with "A" at this point. Progress.

As always, e-mail me about any corrections or requests for public humiliation.

Wednesday, 11/20/02 - Local Cunt Sues Football Coach, Web Designer Gets on with Life

You know what I'd like to see? Take one of those Valtrex herpes medication commercials where some guy says, "When I was diagnosed with genital herpes, I was devastated. But then I thought it would be funny if I rubbed my junk all over all the dinnerware in my house and threw a party. My friends had no idea they were eating off of my herpes plates. Heh, heh, heh..."

That's the kind of shit I think about all day.

Saturday, 11/23/02 - And now for something completely different...

Well, maybe not. More like same shit, different day. Got a photo from Owens of a paintball game we had about this time last year. Clevinger's on the left, Owens in the middle, and yours truly, Creeping Death, on the right.

Thursday, 11/28/02 - Spanksgiving

Holiday. Day off.

Tears for you.

Friday, 11/29/02 - Post-Holiday Body Count and Damage Assessment

Well, that little Irish mick bastard, Marine, best friend and all around badass, Sean Perryman came to town for the holiday. I about shit myself. I'm sure that also had a lot to do with locking my keys in my car while it was still running - in the parking lot at Harling's, the first bar of the night. That's right, I hadn't had a drop of booze yet, and already I was sportin' the stupid like a champ.

Anyway, I don't think I've ever seen all, and I mean all of my friends in one place like that, and I wonder if a gathering like that can ever happen again. Damn near everybody I knew was there. It was awesome.

Still, I regret getting so drunk last night that I slept in and ultimately missed out on the Sweaty Proletarian Festival known as the Day After Thanksgiving Sale. Shame.

At least I didn't miss Dr. Phil.

Saturday, 12/7/02 - [Speechless]

All I really need to say it that seeing Equilibrium is a pretty good treatment for those of you suffering from chronic worthlessness syndrome. You can't be a good person without loving this movie. It's one of those few (action) movies that could still stand on it's own even if all of the action sequences were removed. Just imagine 1984, Brave New World, and Fahrenheit 451 meets the Matrix and Bladerunner.

Sunday, 12/8/02 - Exactly When Are Finals, Again?

With as much shit as I've got to do in these last few days of the semester, where the largest possible amount of work is crammed into the shortest possible amount of time, I don't even know why I'm writing anything here.

So try to keep your jaw off the floor when I tell you that I won't even touch the music section until finals are over and I have the whole month to fuck off. [Gasp!]

I'm so good and you're so bad. Oh yeah, I did update the links, though.

Sunday, 12/22/02 - "You people need to get a grip!"

Well, well, well. So Lewis Black was absolutely hilarious last night. I don't know what else to say, except that Lewis Black is the funniest angry Jew on the planet. He also showed off a little of his improv skills when he went out into the audience for a screaming match with a drunk redneck and some dumb bitch who heckled him - he thoroughly tore them apart. The only thing that made the show unenjoyable was the, uh, "thug" seated directly in front of me and Campbell. After several tedious hours of analysis, Cambpell and I still have no idea what that guy was doing there. Not once during the show did this guy laugh, plus he was on his god damn cell phone the entire time, and his stupid cunt girlfriend who spoke anything but English (I'm hard pressed to call it a language at all) obviously couldn't grasp that great conversational abstraction we call the whisper.

And this also marks my return into the fray of updating the site. I got a few pages of the music section done today. Expect that to be complete some time before I retire.

And be sure to check out Rate It All for your opportunity to submit opinions on everything. That's right, everything. You can track my progress as I pine for the coveted title of Most Hated Commentator Ever, right here.

Friday, 12/27/02 - Post-Holiday Depression Special!

The weekend is here, there's a massive paintball game tomorrow, and I have no money for the bars or paintball equipment. Bitchin'!

I have updated the artist pages up through C. Hey, a reason to live after all.

Sunday, 12/29/02 - JKooks Saves Owens' Ass, Earns Beer of Honor During Epic Paintball Showdown!

So we had a good game yesterday. You were either there or you weren't. Anyway, I had my first trip to the firing range today with Perryman, squeezing off a few hundred rounds out of a Ruger 9mm. Don't be fooled by the Rosie O'Douchebags of the world - an afternoon at the shooting range is one of the most relaxing things you could ever do. It was pretty easy to put several rounds through the same hole in the middle of the target's chest; I just had to pretend I caught him stealing my stereo...

Yeah, let's just say that anyone I catch breaking into my car again will not be given the courtesy of an evening in jail, if you know what I mean. They will, shall I say, disappear. Enough about that, though. I'm done with the D's, now. Where do they all go? I must only have about a hundred artist pages left!

Wednesday, 1/1/03 - Happy Wednesday!!!

Well, I'm still licking the wounds from what I have been told was a party last night, some sort of holiday. Yeah, yeah, everyone was in rare form last eve, yet, shall I say, some were rarer than others - you know who you are, or you at least know who I'm talking about. And on that note, let me just say that New Year's is arguably the single most worthless holiday on the calendar, and for one very simple reason: it's one of those precious few days of the year when the amateur and/or non-drinkers come out of the woodwork and suddenly feel like they can hang with the pros. Not that I really want to pat myself on the back or anything, but I just want to say that I am comfortable with my ability to handle my alcohol without breaking expensive household items, getting myself hurt, or doing anything to embarrass myself and/or everyone I know. Outside of that, I drink my poison and proceed to enjoy myself with minimal fanfare. With that said, learn to behave yourself or stay the fuck home.

Thank you.

Saturday, 1/4/03 - If It's Not Too Much Trouble, Could You Make My Life Just a Bit More Stupid? Please?

My dating habits, or rather my (retarded) luck with dating can be explained in three words: feast or famine. I'm either dying from a six-month dryspell, or I'm carried away in a flood of prospects where I have too many to choose from and always end up making the wrong choice and/or hurting someone. And as much of a brat as I may seem, both situations suck balls. None of this "too much is better than not enough" bullshit, because when I'm at a party or similar gathering and I've got three or four girls trying to get with me, I'm more worried about whether I'm going to regret my decision rather than thinking I'm some ladykiller.

More on this later.

Monday, 1/13/03 - Homecoming...No, Scratch That...Kill Me

Well, today marks the beginning of Round 2 of my glorious return to academic life. As always, the updates will be scarce, perhaps even more so due to my upped hours at school. Business classes r fun!

Wednesday, 1/15/03 - Brush with Greatness

I wasn't quite sure I heard things right on Monday when I heard the name Molly McGuire during roll, but it was confirmed this morning when I got my hands on the roll sheet that Kansas City rock legends Molly McGuire are in my Accounting class. No shit.

Monday, 1/20/03 - JKooks Reeling from Hank's Wisdom, Post-Rollins Alcohol Binge

Henry Rollins was amazing last night. Of course Hank and I don't see eye to eye on political matters, but he's right on when it comes to simple, practical things like how people treat one another and how bad popular music has become. And man, that son-of-a-bitch just winged it up there for nearly three hours, just talking about everything from war with Iraq to how much Creed sucks. Again, as seems to be customary for any show I attend, audience participation was where the magic happened. There was some neanderthal in the lower balcony who kept bellowing, "Yes sir!" at nearly everything Henry said, especially his political stuff.

In other news, my glorious return to the world of employment kicked off this evening with my orientation at a certain restaurant. I wonder if I'll even recognize money when I finally see it again. Salvation...

Saturday, 1/25/03 - Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck

Fate has a funny way of bestowing its blessings upon me. Seeing as how my birthday is tomorrow, I have been blessed with a pre-birthday Shiner show this eve. But also given that the powers that be are tirelessly conspiring against me - they really are - tonight marks the end of Shiner's glorious ten years of rawkin' out with their cocks out. Happy birthday!

Sunday, 1/26/03 -

Well, it's over. Shiner is dead, I'm one year closer to a similar fate, and the only thing anyone seems to care about is the fucking Super Bowl. How worthless. How typical. How...oh who cares...

Being 22 is about the most unexciting thing I've ever experienced since The Bachelor. Today has been especially depressing. I just remember last year's birthday being so much fun, with me turning 21 and all. I didn't even do much last year outside of going to dinner with family which is always nice. In fact, the most entertaining part of the whole affair was going to the liquor store at 11:45 on January 25th just to see if they would make me wait until midnight to let me buy any booze. They did. It was still amusing, regardless. From there, I went to Lawrence to hang out with Bobby and that was about it. The next night was dinner with the family and then Lawrence again - the only downer being that I'm a few months older than the majority of my friends, so I couldn't really do the bar thing, just hang out at Bobby's apartment.

But this time around the whole thing was pretty meaningless, if not just plain sad. I really don't have any more "important" birthdays left, save that of cheaper insurance when I hit 25. Hi-ho.

The Shiner after party was interesting, though. Not much in the way of wacky Owens stories, but the loft where the party was held was very impressive. It was in the West Bottoms area of Kansas City in some old warehouse, complete with the old style gate elevator. Once inside, I noticed that the ceiling had a slope to it, getting higher as it travelled toward the opposite wall. The place was decorated with old sci-fi movie posters and toys, thrift store furniture, paintings, and low lighting. However, the decor was actually rather sparse, with a lot of bare walls and huge expanses of open floor space. I liked it alot.

I didn't stick around, though, because I was so wiped out from drinking my ass off at the show that the last thing I needed was more booze. In all, it was a good night, which I partly blame for the horrible, depressed state in which I find myself today.

Oh yeah. Props to JK for being the only friend of mine to call me today, even if I didn't have my phone on. I got your message, and thanks, bud. Sorry I couldn't make it over.

That's about all I can handle for now.

Tuesday, 1/28/03 - State of the Anus

I knew it! I thought that little weasel from Commienecticutt looked familiar...

Sunday, 2/9/03 - Straight Ballin', Yo

Oh, the things you take for granted when you're employed. I had completely forgotten what money was in the last few months. But now that I'm working again I have a new lease on life. Evidently, when you are given green paper, called money, in exchange for products sold/services rendered, you have the option of putting that money in a bank or using it to buy other crap. Today I bought my first CD since September. Holla.

You're going to be shocked as hell when I tell you that updates will be minimal for a while, so I'm going to take this opportunity to shock you by saying that updates will be minimal for a while.

Just wanted to eliminate any confusion.

But in all seriousness, it's all down hill from here as far as the music pages are concerned, so there will be some actual fucking articles around here for once, and not the usual, tired diary entries such as the one you're reading now. That is, of course, after I redesign this place. I might even register a domain name. Ooh, I'm all tingly.

But for the time being, I've got fifteen hours of business classes, a job, and...oh yeah, a life.

Friday, 2/14/03 - Special Valentine's Day Edition: A Celebration of Rejection, Loneliness, and Bitterness

No thanks to Bobby's tied-down ass, Bitter Singles Night just won't have the flair it did last year. Last year we had a big blowout at Bobby's apartment in Lawrence, celebrating how free we were in spite of pressures to pour way too much money into some high maintenance, manipulative wench. Well, our forces have since sustained considerable losses as Bobby was killed in action after he started dating again.