Look out the window and hope for stormy weather. With thunder. Or lightning. That kind of thing. Kick your alarm clock across the room, and watch it shatter into a million pieces. Then go back to bed. Pull out your sledgehammer and whack that $%#@ alarm clock. Hit the snooze button on your alarm clock. Go back to bed. While you are sleeping, your alarm clock disappears. You wake up two hours later wondering where it went. Take a quick swig of SCA (Super Cow Aid). Tell your sister to leave you alone. It's a Saturday, she had no call to wake you up. Wonder how much longer you have to stay in bed. Moan and groan about the thought of ever getting up.
2. Eventually, you go downstairs for breakfast. You order:
Pancakes. And cheese. Lots of cheese. Pancakes and eggs and bacon and sausage and some fruit and a bagel and . . . oh, heck. Everything on the menu. Potato pancakes and hot chocolate. You can't decide. But you won't have pancakes, that's for sure. Two poptarts and a smoothie. Blueberry pancakes with mapple syrup and a cup of hot cocoa. Pancakes and a glass of tomato juice.
3. Well, in the middle of breakfast (or lack there of) a bullet hits the table you're sitting at. You:
Jump up and search for the @#$@%&@ with the gun. Draw your blaster (even though you're a lousy shot) and duck behind a table, while searching for the guy with a gun. Jump up, your AK-47 already out of its holster. Pull out a calculator and begin figuring out how to send whoever it was to Hoth. The cosine of B+A is . . . Duck! Tell your brother to practice his aim some more before he tries to shoot people. Wonder about the gun laws of this particular D/W/Uetc.
4. It turns out to be a mad gun man. You decide to:
Become his partner. Stun him, then deal with him after breakfast. He has lousy aim for a mad gun man. Beat him up, curse him, then go back to breakfast. Continue calculations that you started earlier. Fight your way outside/to a corner. It is not wise to hang around with a mad gun man in an inn. Introduce him to your cousin, a crazy, super hero type like your cousin needs a mad gun man every now and then to keep him healthy. Whack him with your M-CFPOD!
5. Before you can do anything, however, a chandelier falls and kills the mad gun man. You see a guy with a funny hat and a talking squirrel on his shoulder run by yelling something about a talking llama. You:
Ignore it. It's totally normal. Go back to breakfast. Yell something like: "KRONK, that guy was MINE!! Stop him and ask about the Squirrel School and Cuzco. Pack up. This is obviously a bad inn. Bad luck. Maybe you'll get him next time. Wonder if the llama the guy is talking about is really a deposed prince. You decide to seek out a king missing a prince in hopes of a reward. ($).
6. As if your day weren't already weird, the bartender suddenly turns into Bob Baxter Bob the 86th! He summons his legion of Killer Bunny Rabbits of Doom and begins to terrorize the inn. Being the quick thinker you are, you:
Destroy them! And laugh manically while you're at it. Use your handy-dandy Swiss Army Fork to kill, slice, and cook them all! And eat them! . . . well, not Bob Baxter Bob. Don't eat him. Duck into a corner and try to look innocent. You were arrested last time this happened and you were stuck in a jail in Peru for two weeks and missed your dad's Christmas party. You think evil thoughts about the Bunnies. Use your magic to squish the Bunnies with some tables. Heh heh. Decide to go to Crossroads to get help. Levitate and make the Bunnies and Bob worship you. Step out into a convenient veggie garden, grab some convenient carrots, and lead all the bunnies to a convenient black hole.
7. Your weapon(s) of choice to defeat the Bunnies and Bob Baxter Bob is(are):
A nice, big, shiny, bazooka. A BIG rubber band and some duct tape. A really cool sword from Ardeth Bay. Magic. Duh. A blaster. Phase pistol . . . or a Holy Hand Grenade! M-CFPOD. Double duh.
8. Well, you defeat the Bunnies and Bob, one way or another. Then you decide to:
Eat some cheese. Order a second breakfast. Leave before the local Law Enforcement arrives. Apologize, then try to leave subtly, but fail miserably when you trip over some tables. Find Keth and gripe about your lousy Inn. Find a book and start to read. Buy chocolate for all your friends and cheese for you friend that doesn't like chocolate.
