My Blog.

So, you want to read my blog, eh? I donít have one. Do you know why? Because theyíre stupid. The damn word is ĎWEblogí.
Thatís two extra letters. Do you know how much energy it takes to type those two letters? No, you donít. Neither do I, but
unless your keyboard is pretty dodgy itís almost none. Even if your keyboard is dodgy, you still arenít excused. Itís just stupid. What
are you going to do with that energy you saved by skipping the Ďweí? Treat yourself to an extra blink? Or the more likely option, use
it on two more unnecessary exclamation marks at the end of a highly abbreviated attempt at a sentence. You people make me physically sick.

Well, not all of you, obviously. Actually, if youíre reading this stuff thereís a reasonable chance I donít hate you, but that can
change. Now youíve been warned, so if I leap out from behind a bush and hack at your limbs with a pre-hacked limb Iíve
prepared earlier after watching an alarmingly gruesome and unsuitable episode of Blue Peter, you canít complain.


'Blog' indeed.

So, onto my weblog: I donít have one of those either. Iím not so consumed by my own ego as to think that you want to know how many
times Iíve brushed my teeth today (five times, anyway. I donít know why), and Iím not privileged enough to have truly noteworthy
events occur with any regularity. Neither are most other people who have weblogs, but they donít seem to realise that
no-one [worth considering] cares what they almost had for lunch, before deciding on a sandwich instead. Or what they
had in their sandwich. Or why they thought the sandwich presented a more desirable lunching option than the alternative.

Anyway, you clicked the link to bring you here, so I assume you did actually want to read about my day. Fine, hereís the most
interesting bit I can remember: Iíve misspelled, mistyped and misheard my name so far today. I donít plan on mispronouncing it,
but I didnít plan on any of the others so itís probably going to happen. Now you can go away happy.

Go away.

Aw, ok.