The Bible is Stupid

 

The Bible, millions of people read it, religions are based on it, and I just have to ask, why?  The book is so freakin stupid! Now, I'm just going to tell you what to believe without giving reasons, I'm not like the catholic church.  I will provide examples, from this very book and show you how stupid it really is.

 

From Genesis 4:1

1 And Adam met Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.

Yeah...apparently, sperm was airborne in biblical times.  "Hey Eve!"  "Hey Ada.....DAMMIT!  Not anther one!"

 

From Genesis 28:10-28

 And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his motherís brother, and the sheep of Laban his motherís brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the wellís mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his motherís brother.  And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.  And Jacob told Rachel that he was her fatherís brother, and that he was Rebekahís son: and she ran and told her father.  And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sisterís son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things.  And Laban said to him, Surely thou art my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month. And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be?  And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.  Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.  And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.  And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.  And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.  And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.  And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.  And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.  And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?  And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn.  Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.  And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.

Alright, incest and polygamy!  Now this is a religion I can base my life upon!

 

From Mark 14:22-24

 And as they did eat, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and brake it, and gave to them, and said, Take, eat: this is my body.  And he took the cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them: and they all drank of it.  And he said unto them, This is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many.

Apparently Jesus promoted cannibalism

 

From Leviticus 1:1-17

And the LORD called unto Moses, and spake unto him out of the tabernacle of the congregation, saying,  Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man of you bring an offering unto the LORD, ye shall bring your offering of the cattle, even of the herd, and of the flock. If his offering be a burnt sacrifice of the herd, let him offer a male without blemish: he shall offer it of his own voluntary will at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD.  And he shall put his hand upon the head of the burnt offering; and it shall be accepted for him to make atonement for him.  And he shall kill the bullock before the LORD: and the priests, Aaronís sons, shall bring the blood, and sprinkle the blood round about upon the altar that is by the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.  And he shall flay the burnt offering, and cut it into his pieces.  And the sons of Aaron the priest shall put fire upon the altar, and lay the wood in order upon the fire:  And the priests, Aaronís sons, shall lay the parts, the head, and the fat, in order upon the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar:  But his inwards and his legs shall he wash in water: and the priest shall burn all on the altar, to be a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD. And if his offering be of the flocks, namely, of the sheep, or of the goats, for a burnt sacrifice; he shall bring it a male without blemish.  And he shall kill it on the side of the altar northward before the LORD: and the priests, Aaronís sons, shall sprinkle his blood round about upon the altar.   And he shall cut it into his pieces, with his head and his fat: and the priest shall lay them in order on the wood that is on the fire which is upon the altar:  But he shall wash the inwards and the legs with water: and the priest shall bring it all, and burn it upon the altar: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.  And if the burnt sacrifice for his offering to the LORD be of fowls, then he shall bring his offering of turtledoves, or of young pigeons.  And the priest shall bring it unto the altar, and wring off his head, and burn it on the altar; and the blood thereof shall be wrung out at the side of the altar:  And he shall pluck away his crop with his feathers, and cast it beside the altar on the east part, by the place of the ashes:  And he shall cleave it with the wings thereof, but shall not divide it asunder: and the priest shall burn it upon the altar, upon the wood that is upon the fire: it is a burnt sacrifice, an offering made by fire, of a sweet savour unto the LORD.

What the hell?  Religion, sounds like a cult to me.  While we're at, let's sacrifice a virgin to Aries, God of the sacred planet Red Mars.

 The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.  The nakedness of thy fatherís wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy fatherís nakedness.  The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.  The nakedness of thy sonís daughter, or of thy daughterís daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness.  The nakedness of thy fatherís wifeís daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.  Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy fatherís sister: she is thy fatherís near kinswoman.  Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy motherís sister: for she is thy motherís near kinswoman.  Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy fatherís brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.  Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law: she is thy sonís wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.  Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brotherís wife: it is thy brotherís nakedness.  Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter, neither shalt thou take her sonís daughter, or her daughterís daughter, to uncover her nakedness; for they are her near kinswomen: it is wickedness.  Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time. Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness.  Moreover thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbourís wife, to defile thyself with her.  And thou shalt not let any of thy seed pass through the fire to Molech, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD.  Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.  Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

Hmmm, let's see.  Don't bone your mom, dad, sister, aunt uncle, in-law, grandchild, another man or an animal.  Nope, doesnt mention anything about cousins or lesbians.  Rock on Moses!

 

Jesus will lead you to salvation....well, he'll bring you back to the God Stand