The Rules of Anime

Anime is a science.  There are distinct rules that govern it and disrupting these rules could unravel the very existence of the universe!  Here are the distinct rules of anime that I have discovered in my research.

1.  All Women are hot

2. No one looks their age

3. Hair naturally comes in all colors of the rainbow

4. Like hair, irises also come in every color

5. Humans can jump on average 20 feet in the air.  50 feet if they are ninjas

6. The size of your eyes are inversely related to your evilness

7. The amount of clothes on a female is inversely related to their evilness. 

8. When enraged, veins will surface on the skin in perfect cross shaped patters, usually on the back of a balled fist or the forehead

9. The more forceful a scream is, the larger the mouth opens.  Mouth may grow to approximately 1/3 of the face.

10. When disgusted beyond comprehension, the face will turn blue

11. All women carry a mallet contained in a inter-dimensional hole only they can access at any time they wish.

12. The average human can eat 3 times their own body weight without gaining one single pound.

13. Eyes take up approximately 1/3 of the face.

14. The average body contains 3 gallons of blood.

15.When embarrassed, the entire face will red, filling up from top to bottom.  However, when blushing only the small area under each eye will redden slightly, usually in a series of small, diagonally lines.

16. It only takes one single frame of animation for a person to fall to the floor when surprised.

17. When hit in the face, a bandage will magically appear in the next scene.

18. When shocked, a single, large sweat drop will appear on the persons forehead

19. while asleep, a bubble of snot will appear from one nostril

20. Foreigners, usually Americans, are evil and want to take over, disrupt, or just destroy Japan.

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