Now Playing: Led Zeppelin
Wow, it's been a long time again. Life sucks, yadda yadda. Met some girls at work, blah blah. Let's see how things work out.

I haven't posted in a while because I honestly haven't really thought about it. I don't think that many people read it anyway, so who gives a damn? And it's not like I did anything worth posting here. The only thing relatively interesting was surf fishing with Carl last week, and even that was kinda bad. It was fun to hang out with Carl, but there were no fish, no sun, and no girls. I'm waiting for my new CD receiver to come in so I can finally play CDs in the car. I'm gonna pick up Physical Graffiti tomorrow with Rich so I'll have that to listen to.

Saw King Arthur with Kamil and his posse last Thursday, wasn't too bad. The weekend after that wasn't too great. Today, we, as a family, went to a park in Pennsylvania to walk the dog. At the water fountain, I was examening what appeared to be a call box when a swarm of wasps attacked. One got me on the hand, which swelled in the half hour that we finished the walk in. We applied the healing stuff to it, which was really old, and I think a bit too late. It really didn't hurt, but you could see the sting spread through the hand.
Tonight, I went to hang out with Fowler. We did our standard drive over to Owad's Acme, where we couldn't find him. Fowler bought some jello. We then went to Walmart, then to BJ's to drop something off to his gf, but she was in the car and we narrowly escaped being seen. We went back to his house, then to Rickett's, then drove around, and ended up doing nothing. Kinda fun, kinda gay. And then I had enought time to go see Dani for like ten minutes, and she decided to not pick up her phone. Some people...I mean really...

Post Fourth of July Extravaganza
How does a day that starts with me powerwashing the house end up as one of the best in the past two weeks? Well, to put aside the knowledge that powerwashing the house actually is a kick ass good time, seeing Spider Man 2 was cool, even though it was with the family. Then going to see Fowler's new Grand Am was good. Follow that with flower buying, ice cream at Friendlys, and then a covert dropoff of aforementioned flowers, and it was fun. And then fireworks at Fowler's house, they were great. Finally, there was a cool cruising time that I finally got Dani out on, and she freaked cause I was doing cool defensive spy driving. That's how a crappy day goes great my friends.

It's been far too long...
I haven't posted in over two weeks, but then again, I haven't been online for any extended period of time during that stint. I finished school on the 16th, went to Boy's State on the 20th, and got home on the 25th. It was simultaneously one of the best and one of the most pointless experiences of my life. They kept saying that you either loved it or hated it, and I generally loved it, but I didn't really learn anything. I was a little disappointed because of that. I started working on the 26th for the caterer at Mercer Oaks and the County Park Boathouse. I worked a wedding at Mercer Oaks; it wasn't too bad.
I've found myself short on things to do. Rich is at wrestling camp, Brad is always working, Rickett went to South Carolina, Fowler is grounded, Coyne is at LBI, I haven't talked to Cardiello since before school finished, and who knows with Pordon. Dani's unavailable this week to hang out, Sam was supposed to meet me at TP but I haven't talked to her to know what's going on. In general, I'm stuck doing nothing and that sucks.

Finals...more fun than the rest of the school year.
Well, not the finals themselves, though my history essay was, if I may say so myself, totally kick ass. But as to the rest of the days- first day was kinda crappy and I didn't do anything. Yesterday, after grocery shopping, we went to Friendly's, then we picked up Rickett and had a convoy into Trenton to find a limo place that Coyne was gonna work at. Needless to say, we were lost too often, so I decided to go back, with Fowler and Rickett in my car. We ended up in Ewing, then took the Highway to Lawrence, and ended up back where we started, then went home. Then Coyne, Rickett, and I went to Friendly's for dinner.
Today, we went to Friendly's again for lunch, then dropped off Owad at work, then drove around trying to soak kids with a super soaker. Fowler and Coyne got Kevin Hill, then we drove around for a while, went back past Snyder's house to get his car, then I called Dani and had her wait outside, so I had to take the shot. She was pretty pissed, so I've called her quite a few times afteward to only have her hang up on me. It was a nice shot though.

My day of memorials
I'd planned to watch "Saving Private Ryan" to see the D-Day scene, but in the end never got around to it. I'd probly end up crying; I can only really cry in a war film when the guys are dying, I dunno why. Somehow, thinking about those guys who weren't much older than I am, it's just something that I can't even begin to comprehend. I just want everyone to remember that had we been alive 60 years ago, it would've been our friends on those beaches. It would've been us off in the Pacific, in the stalemate down in Italy. Just remember, they had something worth fighting for, a real crusade. What's going on today...is nothing like that.
Reagan died last night too, I'm waiting for the Republicans to propose his monument and to make his birthday a national holiday. It'll be a cold day in hell before I celebrate that. After all, we should be getting off for FDR's birthday, he sure as hell got us through a lot more in his time.
I guess things with Sam have settled back to where they were...which is kinda depressing. I had hopes...well, I always have hope for something that never comes to be. Terrible record for that, I really don't know why I tried on this one. Things will just be awkward and...well, she may change one day, but for now, we're just back to the way things were before.

I've got a feeling that I've royally fucked up things with Sam...just call it an inkling. But I think I'm better off having taken the risk, because otherwise I'd just be living a lie. I may be at a time when I really shouldn't talk unless I have to; it's better that I just listen to everyone else...I can't believe I actually went through with it though. And I don't think we actually settled anything, it's so open that it's gonna bother me until I talk to her again.
It was probly a bad thing to talk to Dani about it because it's starting to feel like Krysti all over again. Considering the fact that that era of my life has just come to an end...well, it's not a good thing to go into something similar to it. It's my own fault; I did put myself into this situation. I often ponder whether the choices I've made are the right ones, if I'm where I'm really supposed to be, if I haven't made a wrong turn along the way. It's depressing to think about that, but it always comes down to knowing that I can't change the past, so things are as they are. I've got a lot to think about, because I don't want to keep living my life thinking "what if?"; that's no way to live.

There is something gnawing at the back of my mind, that feeling that I'm at fault. I'm not myself right now, I don't really know what's happened to me. There's just a generally bad feeling that I need to get rid of.

Mini Golf last night with Dani and her friends. It was ok, but to be honest, it was one of those times when I'm obviously an outsider to the group. I guess that may be a problem of mine, that I've only got a few friends that are friends with each other- most of them are not connected at all. Best part, by far, was driving home listening to "Dazed and Confused". Heh, I love driving that car, listening to Zeppelin.