I've got a feeling that I've royally fucked up things with Sam...just call it an inkling. But I think I'm better off having taken the risk, because otherwise I'd just be living a lie. I may be at a time when I really shouldn't talk unless I have to; it's better that I just listen to everyone else...I can't believe I actually went through with it though. And I don't think we actually settled anything, it's so open that it's gonna bother me until I talk to her again.
It was probly a bad thing to talk to Dani about it because it's starting to feel like Krysti all over again. Considering the fact that that era of my life has just come to an end...well, it's not a good thing to go into something similar to it. It's my own fault; I did put myself into this situation. I often ponder whether the choices I've made are the right ones, if I'm where I'm really supposed to be, if I haven't made a wrong turn along the way. It's depressing to think about that, but it always comes down to knowing that I can't change the past, so things are as they are. I've got a lot to think about, because I don't want to keep living my life thinking "what if?"; that's no way to live.