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DePrEsSIoN KiLls...
Friday, 2 January 2004

okay could today suck ne more world huh go ahead strike me with lighting get this shit over with now.

Well we all know where Rachel was today Barts,And we all know what they did.me and Matt knew thats where she was.i want to be mad and hate her soooo bad but i can't theres like a road block and i cant pass it i think its because shes my best friend and i love her even though i feel like shes treating me like shit.but i dont care because shes always there for me but now i just feel like nobody can help i want to sleep and never wake up.

I talked to Shanna about this and she thinks that girls are back stabbers and i should just be friends with boys.i tried that last year and i end up liking them and they just used me as their ticket to my friends.

I'm also tired of people telling me i'll get over it i wont i'm that kind of person that holds on to it and never lets go.like the whole abby and garrett thing i still cant get over that.why cant i get what i want for once well i did for 3 weeks then went for my friend.thats why i'm afraid of boys and all of this is why i dont believe in love because i have never good that great feeling i just get my heart broken.

-EmoGirl Vahnsadberg

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 12:55 PM
Updated: Friday, 2 January 2004 1:11 PM
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rawr!!!
why is my life such bullshit?really i feel like i'm the only loser who cant get a guy.maybe because of my ugly face!or because i have no ass,or i'm short,or everyone sees me as cute or their little sister!i'm tired of this shit i want guys to think i'm hott and to like me and want to go out with me and not use me to hook up with my hott friends!!!

Well last night was shit rachel told me she liked bart again.nothing we can do there huh?

**but-when i get bored i get peoples s/n's and read their profiles and like on subprofiles they have a viewed list and this guy saw my s/n on there and IMed me and was like whos this blah blah blah we talked and i showed him my picture he suppost to send me his hes goth not exactaly what i'm looking for plus hes weird and i stoner but he keeps IMimg me.o'well yup guess what he just IMed me hes about to send a pic....and gross he doesnt look goth.

well i think i'm going to go i'll write later

-EmoGirl Vahnsadberg

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 12:13 PM
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Thursday, 1 January 2004
my life sucks....
well yea i thought the whole bart thing was over i guess not.matt came over to rachels and she is over with him.after he left bart called her and she was crying and he made her laugh so now she likes him again.and she was like i dont know what to do blah blah blah well i know whats fucking going to happen they are going to go out then i'm left here a loner.thats how it always goes.now i guess people can understand why i'm always depressed why i'm so afraid to tell people i like them its not they care they'll just like one of my friends and why i'm going to be a nun this sucks...

-EmoGirl Vahnsadberg

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 6:06 PM
Updated: Thursday, 1 January 2004 7:35 PM
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H A V E . Y O U . E V E R


.x. pictured your crush naked?: yes

.x. actually seen your crush naked: no

.x. been in love:I don't belive in love

.x. cried when someone died: yes

.x. lied:umm..yea who hasnt?

.x. fallen for your best friend:No! all my best friends are girls

.x. been rejected:my whole life

.x. rejected someone: yes :(

.x. used someone: no

.x. been cheated on: no

.x. done something you regret: yes


What they call you


1.) First name:Nicole

2.) Name your father wanted to give you:April Dawn but they thought it sounded to hippie haha

If the answer is yes, be sure to elaborate

4.) Have you ever been stuck in a hole?: yes

5.) If you were in a hole, how did you get out?:Don Nguyen pulled me out

6.) Has anyone of the same gender as you ever asked you to go out with them?:yes :\

7.) Have you ever asked anyone of the same gender as you to go out with you?: no wtf

8.) Ever been to San Diego?: no

9.) Have you ever seen an obese French-Canadian named Pierre?:thats the gayest question ever

10.) Are you an obese French-Canadian named Pierre?: no

11.) Do you have a cousin with a mohawk?: no

12.) Do you own a dreamcatcher?:no but since i'm Indian me and my mommy used to make them

13.) Do you know what nail polish tastes like?: yes like nail polish and it gets stuck on your tongue

14.) Who is the most uneducated person you know?:I dont know her but trishal from the real world

15.) What would you do if you awoke to find yourself tied to your bed and completely naked save for the wax encrusted to your chest?:scream?

16.) Who is your daddy and what does he do?:Eddie, dad stuff

17.) Do you own a gold scarf?: no

18.) Has anyone ever thrown a drink in your face?:yes my best friend rachel then we beat each other up haha funny stuff

19.) Were you ever a cowboy for Halloween?: no

20.) Have you ever baked anything?: yes

21.) Has anyone ever called you 'cute'?: yes

22.) Have you ever peed your pants in a public place?:i did in front of rachels house

23.) Is your favourite colour blue?: no,hot pink and black like satan


AbOuT ME


Nicknames:cole,stowid head,fuck face,shit for brains,hey you

Birthday: december 11, 1988

Sex: Female

Where do you live:in my house

School: ...

Hair Color:dark brown

Hair length:past my shoulders

Eye Color:black like satan

Height: 5'3

Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? : righty

Are you religious:yes!i might not show it very much but i am


Future

How old will you be when you graduate high school?: 18

Are you going to get married?: I want to
but i think i'm going to be a nun because nobody likes me

Are you going to have children?:if i dont become a nun

If yes, how many?:2 or 3

Do you want to go to college?: yes

Which college:OU or osu


Past

Regrets: yes

Last thing you said:yes i want a chicken dinner

Last person you talked to:dad


Social Life

Best Guy Friend:Tyler

Are you the center of attention?: sometimes

What's your idea of a dream date?:a night on the coach watching movies,making-out

Are you timely or always late?:haha yea

Do you like being around people or being alone?: depends on my mood

What's your biggest turn off in the opposite sex?:when they act like they dont notice you i guess shyness but thats aso cute umm...so i'm going to have to go with when they have no respect



Guy Preferences

Six pack or strong arms:i really dont care for either but mainlt arms

Short or long hair:long

Funny or smart: both

Plays football or baseball: neither

Tough or sensitive: whatever

Boxers or briefs: boxers

Shorter or taller: taller

Tan or beige: I dont care

First thing you notice?:eyes OMG i love eyes!!!!

Next thing you notice: how he dresses


My Love Life(really dont have one)

Who was your longest relationship?: umm, sadly clint in the 3rd grade

Shortest:garrett

Who was your first love:andrew i think

Turn offs:shorter, mean, scared to touch me, lies, etc.

Turn ons: cute smile, honest, touchy, if he can skate, etc.

Prefer being the dumper or the dumpee: ummm, neither.

Do you think there is a person for everyone: yes

Do you believe in love at first sight:nope

Have you broken up with someone for no reason:no

More About Me

- Have you ever -

Been Drunk:ohh yea haha

Stole:pink lipstick when i was six.and i used to take stuff from kids at school

Stayed up all night on the internet: yes

Cried over a guy: all the time, it sucks!

Been in a fist fight: no

Fell off a chair: yes

Had feelings for the same sex: no

Do you speak a foreign language: I know a few words in french

Are you clumsy:thats my middle name

Broken any bones before:my toe

Are you listening to music:no i'm watching the simpsons

Do you prefer coffee or tea: tea

Have you walked into a door before?: yes

Most embarassing moment: too many to name!

One thing that irritates you:boys

Are you a good student: when I want to

Have you sung in the shower?: yes

Have you hugged a stranger?: yes

Have you learned from any mistakes?: yes

Do you like your handwriting: no, I hate it!

Are you picky:yes very

What makes you cry: boys! Ughh, forget them!

What makes you mad:everything

Do you believe in God: yes

If you could live anywhere else, where would you live? california and i think everyone knows that!!

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 1:48 PM
Updated: Thursday, 1 January 2004 7:37 PM
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HEY I'm back
hey i havent written in like forever.its a new year now and alot has happened.rachel and matt broke up and last night was new years eve and matt went to rachel b.'s house with holly and this dude garrett.well at midnight for the midnight kiss holly and matt kissed.now everyone is pissed at each other because best friends arent suppost to kiss our ex but matt is going over to rachels tonight to work things out.i think they should go back out.next big thing like a month ago me rachel and holly went to the brink/moorewest b-ball game and i was this dude on the moorewest team that was soooo hott and rachel was like hey i know him i played soccer with him his name is fred and i can get you the hook up(at this time rachel and matt were still together)well i told lauren about him and she asked chad about him chad is also on the moorewest team and was like his name isnt fred its bart.rachel knew it was some cartoon character.neways like this was all a month ago well tuesday night out of no where we asked chad if bart had a s/n and he did we talked to him and sent pictures then he called us at 2a.m and we talked til like 6a.m then he walked over from his house to laurens and we snuck him in the house like at 7:30 a.m.well that night we all went to the movie and he brought his friend lance.(well i forgot that after bart left that morning i said i was over him and really i wasnt because i'm indenile and i nver tell ne one who i like because i'm afraid of rejection)well back to the movies him and rachel made out and i was so pissed that she would left him.just not at her but at him because he said we were all hott and he loved us and he wanted to marry us but never really said witch one he liked the best.well me and rachel worked it out and decided to forget about him and if he could make us mad at each other and fight he isnt worth our time.and we think he picked her because she has the biggest butt.well i guess everything is fine now but matt and rachel...i think they should go back out thats just me though...
well write later i bet but i have to go so talk to you later!!!

-EmoGirl Vahnsadberg

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 11:46 AM
Updated: Thursday, 1 January 2004 7:36 PM
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Thursday, 13 November 2003

Cars Scars and Things That Make My Life Hard

The stars dont look that pretty, as i sit atop this bright lit city, ill take you here, so you can see, maybe we shouildve never let this be, now all i am is alone, and im sitting by the telephone, im waiting but no one is calling, im waiting for NO one to call... -blake romines

that is soo good and its alot like me!and i'm going to start writing and making poems so i can be cool and shit.

-EmoGirl

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 4:49 PM
Updated: Thursday, 1 January 2004 7:39 PM
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At Rachel's house
Hello.I'm at Rachel's house!We are having a freakin blast!hell yea baby...We were fitghing with her brother and he knocked over a speaker and it landed on a glass plate and broke it.When me and Rachel were cleaning it up I got a piece in my hand and it hurt like a bitch!Today was so cold and rainy but my hair didnt frizz yay!i got a ass load of homework though thats the only bad part about today and i got 2 notes pimp nicole!one from holly and one from abby.well thats all i have to say rite now i'll write later maybe well yea i will because i have no life!

-EmoGirl

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 12:57 PM
Updated: Thursday, 1 January 2004 7:40 PM
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Wednesday, 12 November 2003
Quotes and songs I like!!!
~* yOu PiSsEd Me OfF *~
~* yOu MaDe Me MaD *~
~* yOu MaDe Me CrY *~
~* yOu MaDe Me SaD *~
~* yOu LiEd To Me *~
~* yOu MaDe Me HuRt *~
~* yOu MaDe Me SeE *~
~* yOuR a ToTaL jErK *~

~** Dont you hate it when you love some one soo much that you hate them becuz you kno the love you feel for them can never be returned by them? You try so hard to add up to what they want but in the end you will never be perfect enough for them so you try to forget bout them but you jus can't let go**~

Everytime we lie awake
after every hit we take
every feeling that i get
but i havent missed u yet
every room may kept awake
by every silent scream we make
all the feelings that i get
but i still dont miss u yet
only when i start to think about it
i hate everything about you why do i love u? i hate everything about you why do i love u?
everytime we lie awake
after every hit we take
every feeling that i get
but i havent missed you yet
only when istart to think about it
i hate everything about you
why do i love u?
i hate everything about u
why do i love u
hold me when i start to think about you i know hold me when u start to think about me do you know?
i hate everything about you why do i love u?
u hate everything about me why do u love me? i hate you hate i hate you love me.
i hate everything about you why do i love u?

i love that song!!^^^^^^^^^^^(download it)

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 4:39 PM
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UmMmMm...
Today was amazing!!!!School wasnt but after was.i took a nap and woke up because the phone was ringing it was rachel and she was like your are so going to pee your pants my dad got us all american rejects tickets!!yay yay yay!i'm kinda pissed because i missed the begining of my show "The OC".i'm dizzy so i'm going to go...ohh one more thing Ben was on Knock First again today!!!hehe he's a hott mofo!!

-EmoGirl

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 3:30 PM
Updated: Thursday, 1 January 2004 7:41 PM
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Tuesday, 11 November 2003
Hello
Today was a okay day.I looked like a mother thats about as bad as it gets.I didnt "V" today and nobody talked about it so it wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be.me and abby are friends again and i kinda feel better about it i mean the whole thing was a big deal but i'm glad i'm over it and can move on.i'm sooooooo excited about next friday because it's my b-day party and lauren and claudias!!!!!well i'm going to go i'll write laterz!

-EmoGirl Vahnsadberg

Posted by emo2/taar_fanatic at 11:47 AM
Updated: Thursday, 1 January 2004 7:43 PM
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