…

{ scene one – back to basics }

The scene opens up near a beautiful park in Virginia… there are people all around doing there normal park thing… eating… skipping… the good things in life… the camera quickly notices a man sitting on a bench though… the camera zooms in to see Sean Lewis sitting on the bench… he has on a pair of blue jeans, a SLUG t-shirt, and some skate shoes… he also is holding something in his hands and playing with it… it’s his old mask…

~Slug~
The days go by pretty fast in this business that I’m involved in… one day you’re at the bottom of the barrel getting jobbed against the up and comers… the next day you’re at the top of the federation in which you call home… and the next day, you’re sitting on a park bench… thinking about what you could have done better…

Sean pauses…

~Slug~
A man once said that the greatest thing that Sean Lewis ever did was take off the mask… now to most people, they would say, WHAT THE FUCK, SEAN LEWIS HAD A MASK? Yeah… back when I first came to the EWE threw WWC, I was a masked superstar… I was only 17, and it was just part of the agreement to allow me to fight…

Sean stops again…

~Slug~
The EWE came and went a few times then finally, I was 18… and the next time I did a match for EWE, I had the mask off… now look at me now… quite possibly the only man who is sitting this high in the industry…

Sean stops again…

~Slug~
But for what… no one wants me here… there… or anywhere… and from what I understand from the million of no lives that run the spoiler sites… this could be my last match in the EWE for awhile… I’ve looked at my career lately, and wondered… who else has done this much by age 20?

Sean pauses…

~Slug~
It might be too much… an amazing win and loss record both as a singles star and a tag team wrestler… a couple indy titles… a couple X-Core titles… EWE Mideastern, X-Division, and Tag Team… then a 3 time EWE World Heavyweight Champion… King of Xtreme… Superstar of the Year… the list goes on… time flies by…

Sean stops again…

~Slug~
This most asked question I get is… what happened to Sean Lewis… what happened to the wonder kid… well people, Sean Lewis died a long time ago… when Slug was born, Slug was here to stay… sure, I’m not the evil heel I tried to once be… but I am still Slug… you can call me Sean Lewis and I’ll answer, but Slug is what I’m really about…

Sean pauses again…

~Slug~
And now Slug is set up against one of the biggest challenges he has ever had to face… Seven men are all going for one thing… the EWE World Heavyweight title… in a match that has only happened one other time in Extreme Wrestling Entertainment… a King of the Mountain Match…

Sean smiles a little bit…

~Slug~
And yeah… I know a ladder is involved… so of course I am excited… hell, only one man involved in this match has even been in a King of the Mountain match… and he won it… I’m talking about Chris Ceno…

Sean stops again…

~Slug~
I’m not going to waste too much time talking about how much I hate Chris Ceno and how much of a joke he is… because I’ve done it more times then I can keep track of. In a nut shell… you’re a rube Ceno… a freaking rube… you leave the EWE every other week then make some dramatic return that no one cares about… sure, you are cashing in on your World title rematch… but it’s against me… so you’ve already lost…

Sean pauses…

~Slug~
Let me move onto Predator… now, Predator has had more then a few nice words for me… which by all means, I do deserve them… I am awesome… but Predator, don’t think for a second that your respect for me isn’t going to stop me from kicking your candy ass all over the ring… sure, you’re not the main focus… but you’re up there… welcome to Xplosion kid… you’re in my world…

Sean pauses and does a little stretch…

~Slug~
Probably the best thing about this match is having Chris Steel in it… he’s a real EWE legend due to his graphic promos and many comebacks. He has a vampire for a tag team partner and is full of more STD’s then Anna Nicole’s corpse… which he’ll probably post nude pictures of just from me saying that… best of luck sir, you’re going to need it… I have yet to step into the ring with you Chris, but it will be an honor…

Sean stops again…

~Slug~
Up next is the Hollywood homo himself… I have never seen someone quote me so much in a promo like Dan Taylor did… but really, when you have nothing good to say, why not just take things from the man who has kicked your ass a record amount of time… you’re right Dan, you are to the AWO what I am to the EWE… and that’s cool and all… except for the fact that Jay never bugged you to come to EWE and be the champion… like Don did… there is plenty more about you on the way Dan… so hold tight…

Sean stops again…

~Slug~
Cameron Hayden… I heard that recently Cameron sent in his resume to be the new host for Reading Rainbow on public television… which, great for him… he is mister story teller… aside from that, he isn’t half bad in the ring… I guess we’re not friends anymore… I mean, after he crashed a chair or two against my head, I could have swore we were cool… don’t play dumb Cameron, because that’s just too flattering for your style… you’re brain dead when it comes to talking about me... you want me so bad, you are going to have me on Sunday… and when I’m standing over you with MY title above my head… remember that I am above YOU…

Sean pauses again…

~Slug~
Well, cue the laugh tracks because here comes my part about Shawn Ashlocke… so I would like to take this opportunity to try and be a little less funny then captain “stick up his ass”… Shawn Ashlocke is so lame, he makes paint dry faster… Shawn Ashlocke is so funny, Bill Cosby is going to die… Shawn Ashlocke’s name is so original, he can’t even read it… DAMN…

Sean laughs at himself for a little bit…

~Slug~
But in all seriousness… Shawn Ashlocke… why did you even try to show how funny you can’t be? I mean, we all kinda knew how much of a pile of un funny shit you are… you take everything serious, how could you ever take a joke? If you want serious though Shawn… look back at Wrestlemania… where I took your title… because I’m beating you again come Retribution… and all the other little boys in the match as well… just know that you don’t want to mess this up for me… I’m locked, loaded, and ready to shock the world again…

THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD

The scene fades away as a huge flock of ducks flies into the view of the camera and Sean screams…

Fade to black

…

{ scene two – crashing Ashlocke’s story }

The scene opens up inside of Shawn Ashlocke’s second roleplay… obviously before he can post it… the scene is inside of the building where Ashlocke came upon his long lost sister… the lights are dim but some noises can be heard…

~Charlotte~
Oh my god… we need to stop, we’ve been at it for like 9 hours…

The lights suddenly turn on and the door swings open… I guess in the other order though… Shawn Ashlocke is standing in the door way…

~Ashlocke~
What’s going on Charlotte?

~Charlotte~
Umm…

~Ashlocke~
Do you have any clothes on?

Charlotte wraps herself with the blanket that was on top of her while she was on her bed and she stands up… but with the blanket gone, it shows a naked man… well… it’s Sean Lewis…

~Ashlocke~
What the hell?

~Slug~
What’s up Shawn?

Ashlocke goes to jump on Sean but Sean just spreads his legs and Shawn stops at the sight of Sean’s giant balls…

~Ashlocke~
Get the hell out of here… I have a really funny promo to do…

Sean shakes his head… Ron Simmons starts to walk into the room and notices Sean’s naked body… he goes to say Damn, but Ashlocke pushes him out of the room…

~Ashlocke~
Not now Ron, I’ll give you the signal when I’m ready…

~Charlotte~
I should go…

~Slug~
Where… you’re in some adoption thing… or something something… I’m not really sure…

~Ashlocke~
Well if you would get your little punk ass out of here, I could do my funny promo then explain to her about everything… and then…

Ashlocke stops… Sean looks confused…

~Slug~
And then what?

~Ashlocke~
And then… I’m the winner…

Sean shakes his head and starts to walk out of the room… obviously still naked…

~Slug~
Well Charlotte… thanks for the sex… I guess I’ll call you or something… and umm, have fun listening to your brother or something… more then likely his charm will land you in the sack resulting in a history making incest roleplay… or maybe not… maybe it’s all just a pick up line… you know the old, I’m your long lost brother, lets fuck, pick up line…

Ashlocke goes to charge Sean but Sean slams the door shut… Sean laughs some more and notices Ron Simmons standing in the hall way looking at him… still naked mind you…

~Slug~
I know…

Sean goes to walk down the hall as the camera zooms in on Ron…

~Ron~
DAMN!

The scene fades away to black as Sean walks out of the building… still naked… just how Danny Danger likes it…

Fade to black

END

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