i sit in the dark alone and shaking i'm filled with and emptiness as my heart is slowly breaking i saw u the other day with sombody new and u didn't even glance my way as u walked right through so i cut myself off from the world and from u so i wouldn't have to feel the pain that u heartlessly put me through so i sit in the dark matches in my fist surrounded by gas cans knowing i won't be missed i move to strike a spark but i can't bring myelft to do it the pain is to intense but i don't want it to be lit darkness is what i've become engulfed and alone i'm destined to live forever in this hell i've come to know there is no escape there is no second plan i've lost the will to live and nothing can bring it back the screaming in my head won't stop til i'm dead pain lingers in my eyes after absorbing all ur lies knives slowly slit my wrists trying to dull the pain i wish u'd hit me with ur fists so i could feel again u play with my mind and mess with my head my lifes in ur bind i just wish it would end i lie on my bed empty bottle by my side slowly drifting away to the other side nobody notices the struggle the guilt the lies and untruths on which my trust was built now everything is fading away darkness surrounds me i nolonger see the light of day i'm alone in my miserey lost in the emptiness in a life thats heading downward into a lonly abyss u look at me and i kno u can see right through to my soul but i pretend that u don't see anything at all your intensity scares me as though u almost feel the same as me but i don't think thats possible u talk to me as though u understand everything in my head but sometimes i'm not so sure i can't help holding myself back its my only guard between you and my heart do i trust u and let myself become vulnerable? i don't know if i'm willing to take the risk i want to pretend that i can open up and tell u everything in my heart but something holds me back too much broken trust to get through my pain might scare you away and i don't want to take that chance because already you mean so much to me but i can wait i'll hold out to see if you are the person that i think and hope you are it hurts so much the pain is unbearable how did i get to this place? i can't leave the pain is addicting for some sick reason i almost don't want to leave i scare myself for being this way but its an endless cycle of misery and broken trust because the light is gone from my eyes as is the love from my heart because u took it all away when u hurt me again and again u played with my emotions and my mind u made me believe i could trust u so i did and you trampled over me mocked my feelings told the world of my pain and i watched them all as there eyes bored into mine with disgust
