gjaw28 (12:23:40 AM): hey
rAiN6285 (12:23:58 AM): hi
gjaw28 (12:24:34 AM): what ya doin?
rAiN6285 (12:25:17 AM): downloading music
rAiN6285 (12:25:28 AM): u
gjaw28 (12:25:46 AM): just thinkin
rAiN6285 (12:26:47 AM): yeah me too but im not getting ne where
gjaw28 (12:27:03 AM): lol, me either
gjaw28 (12:28:54 AM): sorry if i seemed like i was mad at jills.. i really wasnt
rAiN6285 (12:29:43 AM): its ok
rAiN6285 (12:32:28 AM): wow tiredness just hit me, i was kinda hyper at jills
gjaw28 (12:32:56 AM): no its not.. ive barely gotten to see you at all lately and the few times i have ive felt like ive been acting like an asshole.. not sure why
rAiN6285 (12:33:49 AM): yea things have been awkward lately
gjaw28 (12:34:23 AM): yeah i know, and i dont like it
rAiN6285 (12:35:34 AM): yea
rAiN6285 (12:37:18 AM): i dont know what to do
gjaw28 (12:37:59 AM): im not sure either.. cause i dont know whats wrong
rAiN6285 (12:39:25 AM): i dont know, i geuss i've just been thinkin about next year and college
gjaw28 (12:40:30 AM): like what about it?
rAiN6285 (12:41:28 AM): just whats gonna happen next eyar and i what im gonna do relationship wise
gjaw28 (12:42:04 AM): what do you mean?
rAiN6285 (12:42:28 AM): i dont know
gjaw28 (12:44:03 AM): if you mean.. youre worried about us growing apart.. dont even let it in your mind.. you know id do anything for you and drive across the god damn country if i had to to see you
rAiN6285 (12:45:14 AM): i just dont know wat i want right now and all that hassle in the fall...im confused
gjaw28 (12:47:47 AM): so am I hun, but itll work out
rAiN6285 (12:50:42 AM): i dont know, maybe it would be better to see how it goes by ourselves for a while or something? I just dont know if i can deal with lon distance stuff and i still want to stay close with you but maybe just on a friends level so it wont be soo hard on me
gjaw28 (12:53:27 AM): hun.. please dont do this to me right now.. these weeks have already been the worst ever on me.. i just dont even know.. i love you so much and i mean that from the bottom of my heart... we have the whole summer before to even think about any of that.. and even when youre there i will move down there if i have to im serious.. i dont want to lose you....
rAiN6285 (12:55:16 AM): i just need to take sum time and think things over cuz im not happy right now and i dont know why i just need to be a lone for a bit
gjaw28 (12:55:45 AM): are you mad at me?
rAiN6285 (12:57:22 AM): no im not mad at you
rAiN6285 (12:57:40 AM): its nothing you did wrong
rAiN6285 (12:58:08 AM): dont hate me
gjaw28 (12:58:53 AM): i cant, i love you too much
rAiN6285 (12:59:03 AM): i still wanna have a awesome summer hanging with ya and goin to concerts but i dont really see us lasting thru college and i dont wanna make things worse than they already are by waiting till the end of the summer
gjaw28 (1:01:13 AM): i dont understand... we've never fought once... we rarely disagree... i thought we were perfect... hun im so serious when i say ill drive there ever day and ill do anything for you.. give it a chance...
rAiN6285 (1:04:40 AM): i just dont think it would work, im serious, im just not happy right now and it seems to get worse each time..i dont wanna hurt u in really dont i just need this right now
gjaw28 (1:05:08 AM): why arent you happy.. let me know
rAiN6285 (1:06:18 AM): i dont know, im just not..maybe we just arent meant to be, i just dont eel a strong connection between the two of us, we have a lot to talk about but i feel like we get along more like best friends than ppl in a relationship
rAiN6285 (1:06:41 AM): and i seem to like it the friends way with u, it seems so comfortable
gjaw28 (1:10:27 AM): i dont understand this.... i feel a connection, i have from the start.. i dont get where it went wrong.. youre quite possibly my best friend ill admit that but i dont know what to do... i fell for you and i just.... i cant believe this..
rAiN6285 (1:13:01 AM): i've been just thinkin about it and honestly i dont think our realtionship has really matured or gone ne where, its just stayed in the same position the whole time basically from where we started and honestly dont thinkit will progress
gjaw28 (1:16:29 AM): please give it a chance.. dont leave me right now... with time this can work i truly believe it in my heart.. i think we've matured but its very slight.. ive always just been the little shy kid at heart that doesnt know what to do or ever say... but do believe me i know to say that i honestly love you and its kills me to even think about not being able to be with you
rAiN6285 (1:18:19 AM): ur making me feel soo horrible..but honestly i dont think things will get better and if im not happy, u wont be happy, and thigns will be really bad, lets just try the friends deal and see how it works otu cuz i feel soo stressed out right now and frustrated i just cant take it
gjaw28 (1:20:04 AM): im so sorry... my intentions are not to make you feel horrible.. i feel horrible as well though.. this just hurts so much right now.. before we set anything can we please talk this in person tomorow night after graduation.. i dont feel right doing it online
gjaw28 (1:20:41 AM): maybe some sleep can help us both... honestly i think it just we may be frustrated with these past 2 weeks.. please, lets just try and work it out hun.. please
rAiN6285 (1:21:16 AM): ill sleep on it and we can talk about it tomorrow but honestly i dnt know hats gonna happen
gjaw28 (1:22:15 AM): thank you, thats all im asking
gjaw28 (1:22:39 AM): this is just so sudden to me.. im sorry if im making you feel bad.. i didnt see this coming
gjaw28 (1:22:42 AM): at all
rAiN6285 (1:23:26 AM): im sorry for being me..i hate myslef sumtimes and i cant stand these feeligns i have..they ae not good right now
rAiN6285 (1:24:22 AM): i just think graduation brought to my realization how close college is and is bringing up sumthin that always been in the back of my head from day 1
gjaw28 (1:26:07 AM): i know.. dont think i didnt think it either.. but im serious.. if i didnt think we could work through it then i wouldnt have tried.. but lets just talk about it tomorrow after graduation
rAiN6285 (1:26:54 AM): okay just please please dont be sad..i hate that i am prolly killin u right now
rAiN6285 (1:27:04 AM): im a horrible person
rAiN6285 (1:27:08 AM): just think of it that way
gjaw28 (1:27:32 AM): dont ever say that.. youre the most wonderful person i know
rAiN6285 (1:27:45 AM): :'(
gjaw28 (1:28:09 AM): im serious, you are.. ive never seen someone care as much as you.. so please no matter what, dont ever say that
gjaw28 (1:28:32 AM): and dont let anyone EVER tell you that
gjaw28 (1:28:37 AM): because its not true
rAiN6285 (1:28:39 AM): im sorry but i am gonna go to bed im just too stressed right now, i need to sleep
gjaw28 (1:29:01 AM): i am too.. we'll talk after graduation.. just one on one.. ok?
rAiN6285 (1:29:27 AM): yep, who shold i go with? ur mom?
gjaw28 (1:29:52 AM): umm just come over here around 6 if you can.. i have to be in school at 6:30 to meet with the class
gjaw28 (1:30:01 AM): and you can just go sit with my parents then
rAiN6285 (1:30:06 AM): ok
rAiN6285 (1:30:22 AM): i'll see you then, im sorry for all of this
gjaw28 (1:30:49 AM): i know you probably dont wanna hear this now... but, i love you... sweet dreams hun... its ok.. we'll work it out im positive
rAiN6285 (1:31:07 AM): goodnight
gjaw28 (1:31:11 AM): night
rAiN6285 signed off at 1:31:16 AM. 
