North Dakota
--------------
Why does North Dakota suck?
Is it because Uma Thurman milked a duck?
Is it because my fetus only came half out?
Or because of Dr. Animal, the singing rainbow trout?
I know, it’s because some dork is writing the next two songs for Britney
Spears,
Entitled, “Pump” and “E-mail my Heart”, my two greatest
fears.
I would rather have a blood transfusion in a train.
Then having to listen to her robotic voice that gives me so much pain.
Or maybe it’s because people type lol during chats,
When they don’t even laugh or masticate their fruit bats.
Sea monkeys can’t even survive there.
Even if some of the muppet babies do have hat hair.
Even after reading wonton soup for the North Dakotian soul two,
If you live there I just gotta boo.
Burlington Goat Factory is the capital of the state.
And the favorite pastime is to lactate.
In North Dakota potato dumpling recipes are frequently downloaded.
And on the news I always see stories about senior citizens that exploded.
It’s not even the Dakota with the presidents.
If you added up all the survivors you would only count 127 residents.
This so called state really bites.
They don’t even have semi-annual cow chip fights.
The only accomplishment ND ever had,
Was starting the ingrown toe nail fad.
They only have one shopping mall.
And everything they sell is one size fits all.
Marrying your offspring is not a crime,
But if your caught jay walking you will serve some time.
No female there has sexy feet,
Just finding an authorized small intestine donor is a treat.
At least there is one thing that we can all agree,
North Dakota sucks and so do we!
- The biggest sea monkey fan
