Choragos: Hannah Harrington
Creon: Jennifer Devries
Haimon: Jessica Thayer
Choragos: Hey, King Creon, your last son Haimon is here to see you. Do you think he might be stopping by because he’s mad at you?
Creon: Why would he be mad at me?
Choragos: Hmm, I don’t know, maybe because you, oh,
say…I don’t know…are planning on killing his fiance??!
Creon: Oh, right. That. Well, we don’t need to call Miss Cleo to figure that one out—here he comes now. [enter Haimon] Son, you already know how I feel about that girl you’ve been seeing and what I plan to do. Are you mad at me?
Haimon: Hey, you know I’m a good kid, Dad. I always listen to you, stay away from the drugs, never even break curfew. You know that I respect you and your decisions.
Creon: Thank god that you’re not a normal teenager. Other parents deal with kids who drink Red Bull, watch MTV and go to those raves with all the ecstasy and the sin. My god, think of the sin! But you’re a good son, you actually respect me and my reasons for you not to be with that unruly girl. She’s a bad seed, I tell you. I bet you that in ten years you’ll be watching her on those old COPS marathons on the WB. The rebellious girl broke my law on purpose, and she’s going to wish she’d be going to Death Row in Texas by the time I’m through with her! That little golddigger probably thinks that just because she’s supposed to be apart of the family that I’ll pardon her. Not going to happen! What does she think, women are stronger than men? I don’t think so! Anarchy is the greatest evil of them all, and no power on this earth will stop me from exacting justice. The woman dies.
Choragos: Wow,
that was really overdramatically stated, but yeah, well said.
Haimon: Dad, really, with all due respect, do you think maybe you could possibly be wrong about this? I mean, the people are so scared of you that they aren’t going to tell you to your face what they think of you. But I hear them talk—they all think letting Antigone be executed is wrong. And I feel that it is, too. She shouldn’t die just because her act damaged your pride. If you don’t listen to reason, you are nothing short of a dictator. Trust me, Dad, I really don’t mean to hurt your feelings, and I want to have your respect, but this is going too far.
Choragos: Not to go all Dr. Phil on you two, but Haimon makes a good point. You should listen to him, Creon. And Haimon, you should respect your father’s decisions, too.
Creon: Why should I listen to him? He’s just an immature boy!
Haimon: Maybe I’m young, but I know better than you what I’m talking about.
Creon: Hey, I’m “hip!” I’m “with it!” And I still know that you are standing up for a criminal who broke the law.
Haimon: I know that crime doesn’t pay, and I don’t stand up for criminals.
Creon: What, so she isn’t even a criminal now?
Haimon: Everyone else in this city doesn’t think so.
Creon: Well, are they the ones telling me how to
rule?
Haimon: Who’s the immature one now?
Creon: I am in charge here! No one tells me how to run this city!
Haimon: Apparently you’ve gone from king to dictator then.
Creon: Oh, I see how it is! Antigone has gotten you like this. It’s all her fault. She’s the reason you’re getting into a fight with me. Well, that’s it. The wedding’s off. There is no way I will allow you to marry her as long as she lives.
Haimon: Then she will die. But don’t expect her to be the only one!
Creon: Are you out of your mind? Who are you, Charles Manson??
Haimon: I prefer Ted Bundy. And you know Dad, if you weren’t my father, I’d be saying that you’re the biggest fool I’ve ever met.
Creon: Don’t talk to me that way!
Haimon: Fine, I’ll play passive aggressive here and be quiet so you can rant to yourself. Will that make you feel better?
Creon: Idiot child! You’ll pay for using that tone with me. I’m going to kill her right in front of you and make you watch it!
Haimon: No way! I’m not going to see her die, and I’m never speaking to you again.
[exit Haimon]
Choragos: …and there he goes. Do you think he might be dangerous, Creon? I mean, you know how easy it is for kids to get into trouble these days—the other night I was watching a special on Dateline, talking about those street gangs with the guns and the knives and the fancy weaponry. I was going to tape it for you, but my Tivo went all blewy on me.
Creon: Let him go off and try. He’ll mope around and get over it. He isn’t going to save either of those girls from death.
Choragos: Girls? Plural?
Creon: Well…I guess I shouldn’t kill the innocent one. It wouldn’t be fair.
Choragos: Yeah. That would be wrong. What about Antigone then?
Creon: I’ll take her out somewhere far away, lock in her in a stone tomb, and let her live there with some food. She can pray with the gods of Hell because they’re the only ones she has now. Or maybe she’ll learn that showing respect for the unlawful dead is wrong. Even if it’s a late lesson, hopefully she’ll figure it out.
