Quotes

So heres some funny stuff people say on AIM and other places...enjoy!


xstarscanseemex (3:54:23 PM): so uh what does having fried chicken do with me?
xstarscanseemex (3:54:29 PM): im not black
xstarscanseemex (3:54:34 PM): like you
SngThsSong4Me (3:54:52 PM): im black

"I had sex last night...with myself." -Erin

"God shuns water." -Erin

xstarscanseemex (5:43:43 PM): oh man i really need to go out with someone
xstarscanseemex (5:43:47 PM): b/f
xstarscanseemex (5:43:47 PM): b/f
xstarscanseemex (5:43:47 PM): b/f

xstarscanseemex: dude no. one day i will date one of the guyz i like. i will. cuz see my dream was always to play pro soccer but now i have a dream of dating one of the guys i like. and i will make it happen. really.

Auto response from SngThsSong4Me (4:06:30 PM): Theres a lobster sized crawfish in my pool...so erins coming over to take a picture of it. I'll be back uh....after we take a picture of the lobster.

xstarscanseemex (9:41:01 PM): yeah im confused
xstarscanseemex (9:41:07 PM): im concussed

LightninJoe12 (6:30:05 PM): my mom wanted to know why genitals were all over my arm

SngThsSong4Me (6:38:49 PM): whats theyre last name?
xstarscanseemex (6:38:59 PM): schlaile
SngThsSong4Me (6:39:10 PM): haha what a funny name
xstarscanseemex (6:40:16 PM): its pronounced SHaLaiLie

xstarscanseemex (6:45:11 PM): dude and we were claening the bathrroms and i was like "seriosuly what is the point of urinals...if u guyz could just go in the toilet we would save ourselves some time" and my manager was like "dude u cant miss with the urinals" i was like "sure u can u can pee on the wall" and he was like "no cuz youre right up against it" i was like "dude how hard can it be seriously" and he was like "alright im getting a ladder and making u stand on it and aim from back here into the toilet, then we'll see how easy it is" im like "i think youre just lazy"

Billy138633: erin is wearing the mean boots
whisperngUkisses: billy wants me to ask u what the mean boots are

LightninJoe12: he always does the gayest things
Xbedtimebear69X: yes
LightninJoe12: like that time he had sex with that homeless guy

nnMEgAnMM: uggh shes a fucking chode

ArthurAnime: 8==D PEENIS!

Xbedtimebear69X: i cant be a sammich
ArthurAnime: well just call it a metaphor
Xbedtimebear69X: but wheres the metaphor????
Xbedtimebear69X: Im too big to put between bread!
ArthurAnime: let me explaine then
Xbedtimebear69X: ok
ArthurAnime: its not real bread, its metaphorical bread
ArthurAnime: your thinking about an actual sammich
ArthurAnime: no sammich
Xbedtimebear69X: but whats the bread a metaphor for???

ElfQueen13: my midget ninjas will whoop your mountain gerbils

nnMEgAnMM: :::hand motion::: ya ya ya but ya ya ya ya ya ya yeaahhhhhh those ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch paper... no no thats thats not what i meant... th those charts... th th th those charts are k k k k k k k k k children... no no thats not what i meant :::hand motions quickening::: those charts suck! ::hands go crazy::: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! th th th th those charts they can be quite c c c c c complicated!! :::hands go crazy then stop:::
nnMEgAnMM: haha i did an impression of annamarie
nnMEgAnMM: dude her and kristen naff are both penises...
nnMEgAnMM: one is a chode and the other is loooonnnnng and skinny
nnMEgAnMM: i was thinking about that the other day... and i was like "woah"

AnimeLuvGod: damn cat dragging her butt on the carpet......

Billy138633: i have theese boxers that i bought from hects or something a long time ago and they are so bad.....they sag in the but so when youdont have pants on it looks like you shit your pants
Billy138633: i mean boxers
SngThsSong4Me: whyd you throw them away?
Billy138633: cause i change in front of people all the timeand i didnt want anyone to think i shit my self

LightninJoe12: im trying to make people think im straight, so im writing a musical

nnMEgAnMM: isnt will farrell dead?

ArthurAnime: ooga booga booga!

whisperngUkisses: one of the potheads at our school said this...i dont know who it is tho...Smplaya238: yeah i woke up and i thought the ground was covered in cocaine

whisperngUkisses: u should get me a hov-a-round lol
whisperngUkisses: ill put some turbo jets on that
piece...itll be faster than my echo haha

LightninJoe12: do you BUY subliminal messages or is it just ME and my friends that like GIFTS
LightninJoe12: that might have been gay sounding but im gonna get presents out of it

LainIwakura001: Ich habe eine große Katze in meinen Hosen!= I have a large cat in my pants!

nnMEgAnMM: GOD DAMMIT STOP TALKING FUNNY CUZ I CANT UNDERSTAND
SngThsSong4Me: you dont understizzle?

ArthurAnime: and whenever someone steals my seat on the bus
ArthurAnime: the second I step on I yell "GAWD DAMN IT! (insert theyr name here)
ArthurAnime: Im gonna sever your manhood and stab you in the eye!

DBBOND7: take off the glasses and youd look good
ElfQueen13: I need those to see

whisperngUkisses: no. they were good. not say taking back sunday good or brand new good or the used good because they couldn't put on a show worth shit. however their music was very good and had they continued down that path instead of selling out and wokring on their stage presence they couldve been huge. but nope. they screwed themselves over.
whisperngUkisses: fags.

whisperngUkisses: eww. youre the epitome of all gayness.

whisperngUkisses: plus im erin. they have to accomodate me lol

Genius0004: whoever decided to make Animal Farm a musical is a dumbass

Astralwerks 12: I walk out of the store and there is this dude with a bajillion flags and crap on his car and he sees me in my uniform and says "hey since you're in the army shouldn't you have some flags on your car? its not very patriotic noy to have em on" then I look at him then look at my uniform then back at him and back at my uniform then I ask him if he had ever been in the military he says no I asked him why not then he said "i'm not stupid enough to die for my country" I just said hey man you need to get the fuck out my face now before I do somehting we are both gonna regret
Astralwerks 12: yeah he got in his car and left

Poemscribr (4:36:02 PM): ok strap a dildo on your pussy and stick it in my ass

Poemscribr (4:40:28 PM): ride my ass with your dildo

Poemscribr (4:42:19 PM): spread whipped cream on your dildo
Poemscribr (4:43:02 PM): and chocolate sauce
Poemscribr (4:43:10 PM): to lubricate it

xstarscanseemex (6:33:51 PM): holy poop in a socket

whisperngUkisses: u know whats great about hippies?
SngThsSong4Me: what?
whisperngUkisses: they'll eat any piece of fruit no matter how sketchy it looks

SngThsSong4Me: i just pulled a paper out of my asshole
xstarscanseemex: ewwwwwwwwwwww
xstarscanseemex: oh wait
xstarscanseemex: i thouhgt u meant literally

SngThsSong4Me (11:45:53 PM): Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again?
xstarscanseemex (11:46:13 PM): u have to walk by again

HaggarDGrandmA (2:23:49 PM): im eating weiners ill brb

"Why does he do that, is he dumb?"
"Who?"
"Bill Gates"-Erin

LightninJoe12 (12:22:11 AM): WHAT HAPPENED TO NIKE?!?!!?! IT ISNT VERY OFTEN YOU COME ACROSS A GUY NAMED AFTER SOMETHING YOU WEAR ON YOUR FEET
LightninJoe12 (12:23:56 AM): god dammit... and i cant even get a blowjob from a homeless dude on the boardwalk with no teeth after i smother my crotch in chocolate milk shake... not only that but now i have the weirdest frostbite
LightninJoe12 (12:24:45 AM): wow... i probably shouldnt have admitted to that
SngThsSong4Me (12:24:54 AM): yeah...youve admitted to it in the past
LightninJoe12 (12:25:30 AM): yeah but i was drunk... drunk with love from recieving sexual favors from homeless people
LightninJoe12 (12:25:30 AM): DAMMIT

nnMEgAnMM (9:52:09 PM): haha wtf?
nnMEgAnMM (9:52:39 PM): dude
nnMEgAnMM (9:52:42 PM): dude
Xo Duvet oX (9:52:44 PM): what?
nnMEgAnMM (9:52:54 PM): i just swallowed a bug
Xo Duvet oX (9:52:59 PM): ......what?
nnMEgAnMM (9:53:02 PM): it was in my cucumber salad...
nnMEgAnMM (9:53:09 PM): and i was like "im gonna get you...ooohhH"
nnMEgAnMM (9:53:13 PM): and i think it was dead...
nnMEgAnMM (9:53:19 PM): and then i just didnt think and ate it...
nnMEgAnMM (9:53:33 PM): and i just realized that i just ate a fucking bug
nnMEgAnMM (9:53:49 PM): yeah...
nnMEgAnMM (9:53:56 PM): i just ate a bug... and meant to but no

xstarscanseemex (10:32:40 PM): wow i think my butt just exploded
xstarscanseemex (12:10:31 AM): thats not good...thats almost as weird as the dream i had about me hooking up with desi next to faith hill then telling faith hill that i think shes absolutely gorgeous

xstarscanseemex (11:51:31 PM): i think i have to poo
Xo Duvet oX (11:51:39 PM): so poo
xstarscanseemex (11:51:58 PM): no it was just a fart

punkheathen (12:37:06 PM): dude, have sex today

punkheathen (6:07:32 PM): my parents are yelling
punkheathen (6:07:40 PM): i feel like a kid in a mtv video

xstarscanseemex (10:58:33 PM): what if im like "desi..........................::pause pause::.................i just want to do you."

xstarscanseemex (11:12:59 PM): my love for desi is like my love for shitting

xstarscanseemex (11:38:34 PM): can i get a GRR??!!
Xo Duvet oX (11:38:38 PM): grrrr
xstarscanseemex (11:38:40 PM): HELL YEAH!

xstarscanseemex (11:59:31 PM): this seriously...why dont you just take a bite out of my ass. that will sum this up pretty well.

xstarscanseemex (12:14:46 AM): yeah and im pissed. they took the pizza with them to tony's house

"Dude youre like...addicted to DVDs. You like...crush them up and sniff them or something"-Megan

"I dont want to!"
"But Erin, its a ZIT....IN YOUR ASS!"

Megan's pickup line: Do you bathe in toilet paper?
Cuz your soft like Charman

LainIwakura001 (12:46:25 AM): sex sexity sex sex sex blah blah penis sex blay yackity yack vagina

Raedavis (11:06:04 PM): Why is American beer like sex in a canoe?
Raedavis (11:06:12 PM): it's fucking close to water

Xo Duvet oX (10:38:20 PM): 'im tired of the internet
"Dude...dont think Im weird for this...but I think that monkey is kinda hot...I think its the smile and the hoodie..." "Dude...thats not a hoodie thats a spacesuit"-Erin

Xo Duvet oX (11:09:37 PM): my "twins" are what I pride myself on
Xo Duvet oX (11:09:43 PM): their like a conversation peice
Xo Duvet oX (10:09:02 PM): joe tell me a story
LightninJoe12 (10:11:33 PM): ok
LightninJoe12 (10:12:03 PM): so it all started oot on a night that was very much like this and i was walking down the street by myself looking for a heroine fix...
LightninJoe12 (10:12:28 PM): when all of a sudden i realize i totally dropped acid 3 hours ago and im not actually lookin for heroine
Xo Duvet oX (10:12:37 PM): okay
LightninJoe12 (10:13:07 PM): im bare assed naked on top of the fire house acting oot a cross between my life story and CATS
LightninJoe12 (10:13:37 PM): when who should come oot of nowhere to save me but ursula the one armed prostitute that give me a rim job the week prior
LightninJoe12 (10:14:24 PM): well you could imagine my suprize when ursula took off her mask to reveal that she was an alien... then she gave me another rim job
LightninJoe12 (10:14:35 PM): the moral of the story is that this isnt the end
LightninJoe12 (10:15:43 PM): so i went back to my house still feeling the acid
LightninJoe12 (10:15:47 PM): and i went to sleep
LightninJoe12 (10:16:05 PM): but i woke up a month later in what appeared to be the forest of magical and mysticality
LightninJoe12 (10:16:18 PM): when all of a sudden a unicorn appeared and tried to kill me
LightninJoe12 (10:16:31 PM): so i quickly ate his heart and went home
LightninJoe12 (10:16:42 PM): moral of the story: DONT FUCK WITH ME B/C I WILL EAT YOUR HEART