.....january 21 2003 -8:34pm- well now that i've lost all hope, i've thought of lots of decisions i have, i can leave forever, die, or live with it. i choose live with it, because i have something good going for me, 3 easy teachers and only 1 hard bitch, kinda good friends (not very many 'true' friends), and hot chicks.
.....january 18 2003 -6:13pm- today worked sucked, i was so tierd, it was probably because i had such a great time at the show last night. 'im the perfect boy with my dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, how could you resist me' - kodiak...
.....january 13 2003 -10:30pm- i haven't updated in a while, been working on a new layout for my band, inamorato. i have also been hanging out with the girl that i like a lot, amanda-h, but she says she doesn't want a boyfriend. i hope i can change her mind. i also got choosen for a poetry contest to win $20,000.00 (lots of money).
.....december 16 2002 -12:40pm- this morning at 4:30am i was awoken and my mother told me that my uncle has died of a heart attack. shocked. i thought it was a joke it couldn't be real, my uncle is one of the most caring people on this earth, how could he have died? i dont know what to say, im so confused by all of this.
.....december 12 2002 -7:42- today i found out that everyone is such a liar, i had this thing where i would say im bisexual and see how people would react. i found out that many people now hate me, and i have been getting punched and shit a lot more often. i have also seen that guys are perv's like crazy. man how often you never see the things right in front of your eyes. now that everyone thinks im gay they wont talk to me or be seen with me. dont think i can straighten this one out......
.....december 10 2002 -9:17- today i got my ass kicked majorly, today when i got home i told my brother how milk spills and he comes over to me and beats the living shit out of me. he broke my glasses, my arm and chest has bruses, and i have a swollen left eye. now i can barley see because i have no glasses. but get this, after he kicks my ass he trys to be all nice to him, so i wont tell mom on him, even though the brusies and swollen eye is pretty obvious.
.....december 7, 2002 -11:24pm- today i got the old yellowcard cd today, and skateboarded all day, but i forgot all about a date i was supposed to have tonight, but she forgot aswell, but i dont think that amanda-h want's a boyfriend or relationship right now. i hope i can change her mind, we have just oh-so much in common...
.....december 6, 2002 -12:04am- i am killing myself with all these wild mixed emotions. today i cryed because i was crushed by a stupid ex-girlfriend, who is very complicated indeed. one minute she'll try and be my friend then the next she wants to kill me and say that she hates me. i hate be hated, its just such a strong word, i love the words i love you.
.....november 24, 2002 -3:40pm.- i stayed the night with shannon last night. we had so much fun in his brother car last night, which i had to rent for $10. we were doing everything imaginable, im acctually happy today, such a change.
.....november 21, 2002 -3:08pm.- sitting in class and bored like crazy, im hoping that the day doesnt get any worse than it already is. ill finish the rest when i get home.
.....november 19, 2002 -11:13pm.- today is the first day in a long time i wasn't yelled at by anyone at school, but i was still made fun of because i wear tight pants to school. i wish people would stop judging others for a little while and judge themselves, then the world would be much happier. i also was not in a state of almost crying today, which was cool, thank god nobody made me sad, because i do get embarrased when i am caught crying for some of the stupidest things in life.
.....november 18, 2002 -8:16pm.- leann, who is a good friend of mine, told me that her and justin, her boyfriend, broke up and now she is feeling so bad about it, that the stars in her eyes have begun to fade away. her boyfriend is a total complete jackass for how he hurt my friend. he calls her up and tells her he has another girl friend to make her feel bad, which is an evil and ungreatful deed. love is never forever, its always a dream you wish would never end....
.....November 18, 2002 -2:42pm.- a great friend of mine ashley told me that her mother was in a car accident, witch made me feel very bad, and angry with the person who hit this lovely woman. now that her mother is injured and delirious, i have thought how ashley had been so strong in this, for when i was thinking about the accident i was almost in tears. holding on in fear that the tears will kill us all.
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