My Husbands Death

None of us safe,
For simple comforts,
As though lost on a mountain,
Pressed together for warmth.

Stripping away all the artifice,
Blued by holding my own breath so long,
Not daring to look to glance,
At the blunder of crossing empty space.

Emptiness that might go on forever,
Scarcely believing in what used to pass for romance,
Any minute he might walk back in,
The softest click of the outer door panic.

A need to stay alive bigger than belief,
In the fleeting sense of hope that gasped relief,
Relief in despair that was unspoiled untouched aged,
Giving way to a quiet and dispiriting rage...

Raped of words left unsaid, Broken promises,
Rising anger in a bottomless pit of sympathy,
Unstable as the weather drowning, trapping,
Reaching across the chasm of ever after.

With the disturbing impulsivness of profound grief to groan,
Shaking quaking all the while my world disembowels,
Before an uncertain storm howls,
A siren screeching out of control without tone....

Deby Park Meikleham