.Undying Love Was Buried Yesterday.
AGENT R.
*...'did you know thoughts of you and the sound of yer voice is what's keeping me above water?...'*
I WANNA 
ROCK! ROCK!
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That's my brother's clothing line. Totally rad stuff on there. Check it out. And buy something. You will not be disappointed. Promise.
"In case you forgot", by TRAVIS SIDEBOTHAM
**I'll be waiting at the parking lot
On the concrete
Where we used to meet
One of the places that you hate
The place I used to skate
And I'll sit here
Waiting by the phone
Even though
I'll end up alone
And I'll always be waiting
For you to go
Come watch me play
Just one show
Was it worth my while?
The times I tried to make you smile
You tell a story
I'll hang on every line
But you're never here
To listen to mine
Read me my rights
As I sign over my life
Now for the first time in my life
I'm gonna try to make this right
I'll write a letter
Think of all the right words to say
Call the radio station
Request your favorite song to play
Is it worth my while?
The times I tried to make you smile
This is a ship wreck
Throw me overboard
We're both going down
I don't care if I drown**
very good.
GUEST BOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF ALL THIS.. HOOPLA! SigN It *wink*
MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
april 16th. 03.
i got the job finally!! at on cue. i'm never online anymore. but to check my email, but that only takes a minute. i'm trying to keep up with this but it's hard. um, the trip to austin, or killeen (?) was a bust. it was sorta fun, but kinda retarded. audrey ended up getting in crazy trouble and we're not allowed to hang out til she's moved out of her house. ridiculous. i guess her mom thinks i put her up to the whole going outta town thing. and that it was my master plan and i constructed the whole fiasco. ha. as if.. she obviously doesn't know me or audrey very well. and just for the record. it so wasn't my idea. none of it was. so ha! but, oh well. i haven't talked to lizeth since the day of us returning from austin. i hope everything is cool for her. i need a shower. yesterday i went to lunch with one of my sisters friends. well, my sister was there too, but this friend let one of my friends have like, 20 bux... with the understanding that my friend was going to pay her back. well, my friend hasn't so at lunch yesterday my sisters friend was like, do you think i should go over to her house and ask for the money? and i said no... cause her mother is crazy.. and yeah, i told my sisters friend to just let it go and get the money later. or if nothing else, i'd give her the money. but did she listen? NOOOO... she runs right over there to ask for 20 bux! with everyone freakin' out.. and my friend is already under lock and key with no outside air until she graduates. so seriously... she should have listened. now every thing is all messed up cause one person couldn't follow directions. and when i heard that my sisters friend went over there... i flipped out. and she's all, you don't have to get an attitude. and that made me even more mad. she makes me...*rolls eyes*...never mind. i gotta go. have a rock n roll day. cheers.
APRIL FOOOOLZ DAY!!! 2003.
aright.. the left shift key is broken. so no capital letters for you people! ha. yeah, cause i'm too dang lazy and not talented enough to use the other side. shut up... anyway... what's been goin' on? nothing... and so far today.. i've been april fooled twice! i'm sucha dumb 5 year old! geez, i just believe everything. haha. i haven't had a chance to make a little joke on anyone yet...but.. i'm so going to. anyway, i got plans for this weekend.. already! i'm gonna go with some friends to i think some town called.. colleen or something... or austin..or some crap like that.. and like, hang out with my friends b/f? she promises for it to be a good time.. so the rest of us are willing to live with it. besides, i don't have to pay for anything on this trip. i just have to have a good time. i think we're staying til sunday. friday thru sunday after noon or something. yeah, so..what else? i get to drive a sweet car tomorrow. gonna be ][D ][ ][v][ ][Din' (pimpin') hahaha. kidding.. girls don't do that. or.. at least white girls don't. ha. please, no hate mail from anyone on the comment i just made... cause i'm not changin' it! :) and.. if yer affended.. well, grow the crap up. seriously. anyway, i have to pick up this chick from work in a about...30 minutes. or.. i have to leave to the store in 30 minutes then get the girl at 9:30, but i don't wanna type anymore. so.. have fun and keep the rock. cheers.
March 3rd, 2003.
Okay, so starting with yesterday- I went to Victoria during the afternoon cause like, my older sister was thinking she might have her baby, she's 7 months, and so she wanted to check things out.
Then I came home... got ready and went right back to Vic. My brother and sister are in this thing called Ground Zero and yeah, so I dropped them off. Then, me and my cousin Liz went to pick up my older sisters medicine from the Doctor. After that me and her went to my friends house... listened to a cd that I planned on burning (not setting on fire) but then the cd burner was like.. being totally gay and decided not to work. therefore.. i didn't do it. So yeah, we just hung out
there for a while and then went to pick my sister and brother up from Church. But like, on our way to the Church we were drivin' kinda fast cause I didn't wanna be late.. and like, listening to the radio *gags, I never really do that* and like, to the left of me some power line thing like, All the power goes out to this gas station and some stuff around it.. including... STOP LIGHTS! The ones we just happen to be coming up to.. so me and several other cars come to a scrrrrreaching stop and we're all just sitting there... doing... nothing. No one is moving... or anything. So I'm like... what the crap? Then I just decided to go since no one else had the balls to... and I so didn't wanna wait so... bah.
Then I went home and talked to Seth for like, a really long time. Which was totally stinkin' funny! And Awesome! But I was totally tired in the morning (and that's totally fine cause I like talkin' ta him!) and I didn't actually get dressed or anyting until around... well.. lets just say... wayyyy past 2 pm. And today... I did so much next to nothing. Total waste of a day. But hey, I didn't have a car anyway.. cause my sisters boy toy like, needed to use it.. so IT WAS GONE ALLLLL DAY! Bah. I think my friend Melissa is coming over. So, that's rad. Oh, and I also attempted to watch 'the ring' *scary music plays* today... but only got like, half thru it cause... yeah, everyone was every where. and blah. So that might just be a later movie? Prolly. But, yeah, I'm talking on the phone and this is really hard to do and talk on the phone so..
I am out. Cheers.
IT'S HARD TO STUMBLE WHEN YER ALREADY ON YER KNEES....
I've been burned so many times before. This game of 'love' feels more like a war. One I could be fighting for all the wrong reasons.
I've got so much to prove, but a heart below freezin'. Giving up seems so right.
Laying in a puddle of my own emotional vomit.. with no one to help me out of it. Is it possible I'm feeling way too much for someone
that doesn't feel at all? I think I sent myself up for this fall. My insides feel like thur on fire. Maybe I'll rip my chest open and burn up, letting the smoke take me higher.
Way past everything that has meaning and I'll remain there with no way of returning. If this keeps up I'll learn faster no to care, trusting no one and stay in the shadows of no where.
Cheers everyone.... blah.
Feb. 14th, 2003.
*sigh* today seemed to drag on and on. Mostly on the account that I was VALENTINELESS! Geez... if that so didn't suck! Yeah. My friends would show me thur oh so lovely gifts that thur boy friends got them.
Almost made me sick. Not grossed out.. just sick of not having a Valentine. Or more like someone to like...be there for me... and to have all for my very own. *dreams* I can't wait for the day.
So... yeah, i met someone with my same bday today.. pretty crazy. never thought that'd happen. And turns out it's also gonna be thur 21st.... screwy. I talked to a friend of mine too. I hadn't talk to him in some time.. It was cool, but a little strange. Cause well.. it just was. But it was good.
I even talked to this one boy that I dig a really lot. Heh. Neat. I miss him. It's raining so much right now. Blah. And it's 2 am! Holy crap... I'm so lame.. haha. But whatever. *sigh* I guess that's it for now. Cheers.
Feb. 13th, 2003.
Home Grown Cd... very good. Everyone should own it. It's new...KiNGs Of pOP! Seriously Good. Promise.
Cheers.
Feb. 10th, 2003.
I just got back today from CA. which was totally stinkin' awesome! I hope it won't be too long before I get to go again. I'm way sleepy... I had like.. a 4 hour plane ride.. and a 2 1/2 hour car ride home! Yeesh... I should take a shower, but i'm too lazy. ha. Hangin' out with my chum over there like, so made my year! I swear on everything I own there isn't and never will be a guy like him! If I could have like... packed him in my bag and took him home with me I SO would have! ;) Blah... I guess there was just one suckish part to goin' over there... which was.... leaving. I didn't like, cry or anything, but I was like.. bummed and such. I wasn't just down the day I left either... it was like, the night before. Even though I was having like... so much fun, I so wanted to freeze time and make it so I didn't have to leave. I wish I could spend my every waking moment with that boy. There's just something about him that no one else has... blah... okay, I don't wanna think about it no more. I had a good time and
thats all I wanna remember. cheers.
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