NEO-HIPPIES

Give it up! The ‘60s are long gone! Not only that but you smell awful. I’m so sick of thee disgusting people with their dreadlocks, their “no showering” edict, and their tendency to walk around barefoot. On top of that, these tree-huggers are the same ones who make sure shitty bands like the Grateful Dead and Phish have careers. I don’t mind hippies from the ‘60s because…well, because that’s the movement’s origins. But neo-hippies are the worst. Don’t they realize most of the original hippies have moved on to be real estate agents and stockbrokers and accountants? If you morons had even half a brain left after all the drugs you take, you’d find there’s a lesson to be learned here:

Hippy culture is a dead end! It’s Loserville!

So please, for the love of God and all that is sacred and wonderful about civilized society, please wash up, put some fucking shoes and deodorant on, and get a job.