In the distance hangs a dangling yellow glow
and time passes without a murmur.
The loneliness fills me, immeasurable by means.
Quietly, sitting through the rising dawn.
Your essence, lost.
Entity, out of balance, sinking down.
Darkness descends onto me, am blinded.
No longer able to see where I am to go.

Rewinding to the past, reminscing
once again hold you in my arms
with your timid eyes upon your doll-like face.
I want to see the world that you saw,
be in the dreams that you dreamt.
I wish, just to be skin to skin with you again
to taste the sweetness that prevails in touch.
I fall back into the past, reminscing.

I wonder how it would to continue
that fairyland story, that dreamy reality
to hold tight to you in entirety, never letting go.
In this time of absence of your presence,
I realize that all i want to do for you
is to hold on tighter, stronger, forever.

At this dawn, I stare and wonder if I'm too late.
I want to return to the chapters before,
thoughts of reliving the past replaying in my mind
a continuing pulse throbbing in my mind
I blindly stare into the future which lays empty
as the grayish morning. I try to hide
yet I have no where of refuge.
All I can do is turn my lonely body away
from the oncoming future.

posted by Carolyn Lee on 11:56 PM ||

Yay! I have two blogs to rant at.

Blogger updated alot of things, maybe I'll come back... however I do like the commenting systems on other weblogs.

I want to rant, but I just dont know what to say...
posted by Carolyn Lee on 12:58 AM ||

how the HELL did i come up with this?


i know the hands need work :P
posted by Carolyn Lee on 5:40 PM ||

I really like what this genmayer posted.

1. Be a kisser always. The best kissers are the ones that are so comfortable kissing and being kissed. Air kissing friends at parties, kissing your folks when you come home from college, two cheek pecking with your same sex European (or Middle Eastern) friends. I used to admire guys that came to my home and kissed my wife on the cheek upon greeting while I gave their date a constipated hand-shake that transitioned to a patting boy hug. Nowadays, I always lean in expecting at the very least my cheek to be pecked. Makes a big difference.

2. Look kissable. Cheeks shaved, teeth clean, breath oh so Mentos fresh. Poor oral hygiene can turn a seemingly smooth approach into an emergency diversion. NEWSFLASH: gum isn't enough! Floss, brush, scrape your tongue, and carry a portable brush and mouthwash in your car and at work. Also, you must have a twinkle in your eye if you want to be kissed or you want to kiss. Not a goofy Santa twinkle (although he is probably kissed the most), but a passionate fire in your eyes....like a kid who is convinced that he can convince his mom to buy him a new bicycle for his birthday. You can't look scared if you are happy and intent. If you are too focused you may look psycho.

3. Kissing is a by-product of intimacy, not the goal. Talk--laugh--touch--get touched back--get closer--lock gazes--kiss. This is the order in which all good kisses happen. If you are not feeling very comfortable then the kiss is unnatural. In my limited encounters with the opposite sex (before marriage) I always found that kissing was almost like a natural punctuation for a deep thought or sappy moment. If you are sitting across from each other then you might squeeze her hand if its a nice moment...if standing up you would give her a big hug....if already facing/next to each other...you kiss.

4. Kiss like you mean it. If you were a caveman and it felt right you would not try and analyze whether she might respect you more if you don't do it yet or because she has a boyfriend that she is having issues with. If the moment is intimate and you have chemistry....kiss her. Worst case you get a cheek and a hug.

5. Kiss like a girl. Watching movies and reading will make you kiss like a lock-jawed spastic tongue goon. Watch how little kids kiss their moms and dads. Soft, always moist, always because it was the most natural thing to do for what they felt at that moment. A kiss evolves from a series of nibbles into a hunger for more. There is no need to put your tongue in too much past the teeth in a French kiss. The lips always do the work, the tongue just relishes the moment. Kids would never think about some of the weird tongue sweeps and twists that adults create in the hope of being romantic. A flurry of soft wet kisses on the face and neck is great.

6. Look at each other between every kiss and then kiss again. No need for a 8 minute marathon that leaves you both feeling like you lost the momentum of your intimacy from earlier. Its like eating a great dessert...a taste...mmm heaven...eyes closed...look at it again....mmmm

7. When you are kissing you should be touching. Your hands know what to do when you are both kissing right. Some kisses erupt into blouse unbuttoning passion, some just stay at the level of a conversation without words. Do not feel obliged to speak, kissing is always enough.

http://www.genmay.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=143970
posted by Carolyn Lee on 2:20 PM ||

i found a new song by R. Kelly that I didn't know I had :P

"When A Woman's Fed Up"

I'm standing here looking in the mirror
Saying "damn" to myself
I should have known the day would come
That she would find somebody else
And all the things I took her through
Shit, I shouldn't have lasted this long
Now I'm at this telephone booth calling Tyrone

[1] - Cuz when a woman's fed up
(No matter how you beg, no)
It ain't nothing you can do about it
(Nothing you can do about it)
It's like running out of love
(No matter what you say, no)
And then it's too late to talk about it
(Too late to talk about it)

Now let's talk about how it all goes down
I used to make love to you daily
When the night fell the same
And anytime that you were hurt
I could feel your pain
And if I had a dollar
It was yours, yeah
And whenever we would go out
I would front the bill
But now the up is down
And the silence is sound
I hurt you too too many times
Now I can't come around

[1] - Cuz when a woman's fed up
(No matter how you beg, no)
It ain't nothing you can do about it
(Nothing you can do about it)
It's like running out of love
(No matter what you say, no)
And then it's too late to talk about it
(Too late to talk about it)

La da da da da la la da da
La da da da da la la da da
If you don't want to find out the hard way
Then listen to this song while the record plays

[1] - Cuz when a woman's fed up
(No matter how you beg, no)
It ain't nothing you can do about it
(Nothing you can do about it)
It's like running out of love
(No matter what you say, no)
And then it's too late to talk about it
(Too late to talk about it)

You can cry a river
'Till an ocean starts to form, yeah
But she will always remember
Cuz she's a woman scorned
And if you ever get her back
It will never be the same
She's cuttin' the corners of her eyes
Every time she see your face
Now your trust is out the door
She don't want you no more
You used to tell your boys, not me
And she would always be there for you
If you had took the time to see
What that woman meant to you
Is what the mirror said to me, whoa
She was raised in Illinois
Right outside of Chicago
Some of the best cookin' you ever had
Yes, it was and I miss her
Hey woman, if you're listening
I said I miss you baby

posted by Carolyn Lee on 11:15 AM ||

how many of you dont like pop ups?

*raises hand*

the world may be changed soon.. dun dun dunnnnnn.
posted by Carolyn Lee on 9:41 PM ||

like my academic history i wish there was a website i could go to and find out how im doing in life.
posted by Carolyn Lee on 3:11 AM ||

hihi
tis carol reporting from San Jose.

try 4 hrs of sleep, and a seven hours of driving.. see how well you fare!
posted by Carolyn Lee on 1:12 AM ||

i just thought of something carolynly clever (i.o.w : clever to only carolyn herself)

materialsgirl

as a alias, web theme.. whatever. MaterialsGirl in the sense that im a materials engineer (going to be.. hopefully)
posted by Carolyn Lee on 8:25 PM ||