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Slowly my life, my hopes, my dreams; loosen, fall apart, crumble, and snap apart like the bracelets on my wrist…they cut my circulation off…leaving me ill, dazed, confused. What’s wrong? Do I know? Of course not. I cry…hard...the drops seem to fall from the sky upon me, a sad, lonely child…that wants nothing more than to be happy…be normal…and alike all the others who don’t feel this. The lights all blur together like some wonderful picture that forms from the tears in my eyes…its all so beautiful and yet all so terrible…It seems that everyone, everything, hates me…so, why not hate myself? What do I need? Tell me…Do I need to sleep? Do I need to relax? Do I need to SCREAM? Do I need to cry? Do I need to live? Do I need to die? Do i need love? Do I need a friend? Where did they all go? Why does everyone hate me? Why does everything bother me? Why must everything be perfect…why can’t it be? Why can’t I be… Why can’t I ever seem to be enough…or why can’t it ever seem enough to me? Please don’t hate me...hate or the feeling of hate makes me want to lie all by myself…in a black room…with nothing…so that I can just never see the light again…because I am the one…the one who isn’t worth the trauma, the drama, the load, the bargain…….the pain, discomfort, the overwhelming feeling of crap. Because I am the one, who sucks ass…I’m the disappointment in your life…the one that makes you sick…the one you want to talk to…but the one who you don’t talk to. Why do I suck? Why does life suck? Why can’t I get over this? Why do I feel miserable? Why do I feel happy, then I dive into loneliness, and feel like crap. It feels like there is nothing, no one, anyone, here, on their own, for me. Why do I feel this way? It is most likely not a true feeling but, why do I feel it regardless? Why?.....Why?......

WHY?