ICP LYRICS

« Halls of Illusions »

Ticket please, thanks, walk through the doors, Into the Halls of Illusion and visit yours, To see what could've, and should've, and would've been real, But you had to fuck up the whole deal. Let's take a walk down the hallway, It's a long way, it takes all day, And when we get to the end, ya find a chair, With straps and chains, we slap you in there! Lock you down tight, so you can't move a thread, And, pull your eyelids up over your head! Cuz you're about to witness an Illusionary dream, It's just too bad it ain't worth seeing. You walk in and see two kids on the floor, They're playin' nintendo, and he's got the high score, And sittin behind them, chillin' in the chair, Is your wife, and you look, oh, you ain't there! It's some other man, and they're hand in hand, How she looks so happy, ya don't understand, See, this an illusion, it never came true… All because of you! Back to reality and what you're about, Your wife can't smile, cuz you knocked her teeth out! And she can't see straight from gettin' hit, Cuz you're a fat fuckin' drunk piece of shit! But it's all good, here, come have a beer, I'll break the top off it, and shove it in your ear! And your death comes wicked, painful, and slow… At the hands of Milenko! (chorus:) Great Milenko, wave your wand! (Don't look now, your life is gone) This is all because of you! (What you got yourself into) (end chorus) (chorus) Look who's next, it's Mr. Clark, The dirty old man from the trailer park. Ya got your ticket? Thanks, take your coat off, And later on, why not? I'll rip your throat off. Let's take a walk down the hallway, It's a long way, it takes all day, And when ya get to the end, ya find a chair, Ya see all the blood? Yeah, ya boy was just here! We get all different kind of people comin' through, Richies, chickens, and bitches just like you! In the halls, everybody gets a turn, To sit and witness your illusion before ya burn! What do we have here? Oh dear! No way! It looks like ya kids' in the O.K.! Ya daughter's chillin' up in college, top grades, And your son's a fuckin' doctor, fat pay! They got family, the kids, and it's all good! They even coach little league in the neighborhood! Is this true? Have ya really seen the holy ghost? Naw, bitch! Not even close! Back to reality, your son's on crack! And your daughter's got nut stains on her back! And they both fuckin' smell like shit, And live in the gutter, And sell crack to each other. When they were kids, you'd beat 'em and leave 'em home! And even whip 'em with the cord of the telephone! And that reminds me man, hey you got a call! Watch your step to hell, in the hallway. (chorus) (chorus) It's time to pack up and move to the next town. But we forgot Mr. Bigot, Okay, dig it, We can't show ya an illusion, cuz we're all packed, bye! I'll still cut your neck out! How's that? (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus)

« Hokus Pokus »

Serial Slaughterin' Strangulars, Jugglin' Jugulin' Juggulas, Fall-in, fat floppy titty freaks…IC fuckin' P's in the Haugh!(Hoo Hoo!) Abracadabra, boom shaka day, I'm Violent J, and I'm back like a vertebrae. And I come with a hat full of tricks, Trunk full of faygo, car full of fat chicks. Ha Ha-Ha Ha Ha Ha-Ha-Ha, FUCK YOU. Wicked Clowns, we'd like to say what's up, to the Cobras, X-men, and Counts, And everybody with clown love, even sucks I never heard of. Roll into town, and out with the big top, Four cards down, and two more still to drop. And when it does, I'd pack up and hit the road, Cuz I don't wanna see your head explode! Toss me an ax, and I'll toss you a dead chicken, Add a buck, ya get a two liter wit' 'em. And when the genie says on with the show, it's Hokus Pokus Joker's, Great Milenko. (Once again, It's the psychotic carnival creatures in the haugh…) (chorus:) Hokus Pokus Joker's ride, Come take a spin on a carny-ride (end chorus) (Southwest slivering snakes of darkness.)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) Shazaam, Bam! Shaka-laka lokey, Shaggy the clown back like scoliosis, Call me a psycho-skitzo-freak, and I'll call you by your name! (Dick anus) Cuz I could give two shits and a fuck, I bounce down Frimmer in a popcorn-clown truck. I'm a circus ninja southwest voodoo wizard, I grab ya gizzard! Jump on the carpet, let's take a spin, Everybody's waitin' for the show to begin. Up to the top, by the neck, and let ya go, (Wow!) Try to land in a glass of faygo! (UH!) You suck! Ya missed the fuckin' glass, Broke ya neck, and busted ya fuckin' ass, But the genie says on with the show, Hokus Pokus Jokers, Great Milenko! (What awaits you after death? Rub the lamp and explore!) (chorus) (Enter Milenko's funhouse! Walk right through the wretched hall!)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) F-F-Fuck off! F-F-Fuck off! Clown dog…Freak dog… (w/ echos) Joker dog…Milenko dog… (w/ echos) Joker dog…Milenko dog… (w/ echos) (Visions of Joker cards flashing in your mother's face!) (Female chorus) Rude boy and Chunky, down wit' the clown, First time we ever went to Mexican town. I remember, we couldn't pay the bill, they got hot, And beat us down in the fucking parking lot! (Fuck you!) Toljest, Jump Steady, and Nate the Mack, Tagged ICP by the train tracks! And it was on, the dawn of a new day, Magical carpets creepin' down the freeway. (Hoo Hoo) Walked in a gypsy's tent with a food stamp, And walked out with a magical lamp, yeah, I met Milenko, he gave me three wishes, That night, I fucked three fat bitches! Stank, get the fuck wit' it, forget it, I'll rip ya face off, and wipe my ass wit' it! When the genie says on with the show, It's Hokus Pokus Jokers, Great Milenko! (Climb abord our magic train, come join us in song!) (chorus) (City to village, hamlet to town, the show must go on!)(w/Milenko echo) (chorus) (Giant ladies, bearded ladies, radiant ladies! Ladies?) (female chorus) (Clouds of darkness, and underneath them come the clowns!) (chorus) Fuck that!

« House of Horrors »

"Hey there, do ya like excitement?" "Yeah." "Do ya like suspense?" "Uh-huh." "Do you like Nel Carter?" "Tst-no." "Good, cuz you won't find her here, this is the house of horrors. And for you it's absolutely free, step right in." "Thanks." "Say no more stupid-ass, your flesh says enough." Hello? It's so dark. Don't lose me. C'mon, I found a door… Wabugawoo, Waaa! Welcome to the house of horrors, Ya born in a barn, shut the fuckin' doors. Ya see, bam, cuz I'm about to scare ya… Bbbblblblblbl, okay now I dare ya Close ya eyes, open up ya mouth, and count to ten, Don't wanna, huh? Cuz ya know my nuts are goin' in, I'm twisted, I'll cut ya finger off, and stick it in ya butt… Ooouuuuhhhhh…and glue it shut. This is when I get get crazy, lemme show ya somethin', Bbbbbbb! Ya know what that means? It don't mean nothin', ha-ha! But it scared ya, cuz people don't be doin' that shit, But me, bbbbbbbb, bitch, bbbbb, now what about it? (Bbbbbbbbb) Guess what, I'm a serial killer, it's a bad habit, I killed Tony, Lucky Charms, and the silly rabbit, Uh! Cut the lights off, see that shit, I'm glowin' Allright, I'm done, cut 'em back on, wait, where ya goin'? Welcome to the House of Horrors! (Chorus:) Comes from within me, me, me. Comes from within me, horrors, hey. Comes from within me, me, me. Come to the House of Horrors, hey. (end chorus) (chorus) Honey, I'm not having a good time. I know, C'mon, This must be the way out. Hey, what the fuck, come in guys, grab a chair, Don't mind me drinkin' my beer in my underwear. C'mon, let's play some cardback, I just got atari, "Hey, keep it down in there, Shaggs, what the hell?" Sorry! Look at that shit!(what?) You almost got me grounded, I'm a have to take your forehead and pound it. I'll bend you over, and tie you up to a pole, And strech your nuts back, and fling 'em up your butthole! I'm a phantom, listen to me, ahhh, That didn't do it? How 'bout this? Ahhhh!!! I'm so scary, they call me Joey Terrifyin', Did ya know that? (yeah) No ya didn't, I was lyin'! I represent Igors, I'm yellin' in town, I'm comin' outta southwest, Wicked Clowns! Bathrooms? Yeah, it's right there, down the hall, Don't flush it though, I'll make dinner for you all, Amuck, naya, baaa, but that's two, Wait a minute, hey, don't leave me yet, hey! Welcome to the House of Horrors! (chorus) (chorus) Honey? What? I'm s-scared. I know, sweetie, come on! (vocal interlude w/laughs) Jump Steady, Nate the Mack, lemme tell ya somethin', Wit Billy Bill and Rude Boy, (what about 'em?) Nothin'! They're my boys, I just had to give 'em props, And together we form the cyclops! He-he-he-he-he look at you, he-he, you're a bitch. Should I let you're ass go? Ha-ha-ha-ha, no. I'll let your bitch out, but you get the bone, Run along sugar-tits, he ain't comin home. "Dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya, bitch!

« What is a Juggalo? »

(vocal ad lib) What is a juggalo? Lemme think for a second. (well?) Oh, he gets butt naked. And then he walks through the street winkin' at freaks, Wit a two-liter stuck in his butt-cheeks! What is a juggalo? He just don't care. He might try to put a weave in his nut hair. Cuz he could give a fuck less what a bitch thinks, He tell her that her butt stinks, and all that, What is a juggalo? He drinks like a fish, And then he starts huggin' people like a drunk bitch, Next thing he's pickin' fights with his best friends, Then he starts with the huggin' again, fuck, What is a juggalo? A fuckin' lunatic. Somebody with a rope tied to his dick, Then he jumps out a ten-story window………oh! (chorus:) What is a juggalo? A juggalo? If that's what it is, well fuck if I know. What is a juggalo? I don't know, but I'm down with the clown, and I'm down for life, yo. (end chorus) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) I'm the juggalagalocaroni. Get the fuck up, get the fuck outta here. What is a juggalo? A dead body. Well he ain't really dead, but he ain't like anybody That you've ever met before. He'll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Four. What is a jug- What the fuck? Connec-man, that shit's wack. Don't worry 'bout my shit, just rap, mufucker. What is a juggalo? He ain't a bitch boy. He'll walk through to the hills and beat down a rich boy. Walks right in the house where ya havin' supper, And dip his nuts in ya soup……bloop! What is a juggalo? Well he ain't a phoney. He'll walk up and bust a nut in your macaroni. And watch you sit there and finish up the last bit, Cuz you're a stupid-ass dumb fuckin' idiot. What is a juggalo? He's a graduate. He graduated from…………well, At least he's got a job, he's not a dumb putz, He works for himself scratchin' his nuts, Ha! What is a juggalo? A hulkamaniac. He powerbombs mutha fuckas into thumbtacks. (Bwa!) People like him till they find out he's unstable. He Sabu-ed ya mama through a coffee table. (Oh my god!) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) (chorus) (chorus) (vocal breakdown) What is a juggalo?

« Piggy Pie »

Come 'en get it! Woo! We got some fresh fills for your fat chicken-ass to snack on, bitch! So here, start wit' a slice of this fresh piggy pie, mother fuka! The first little piggy, his house is made of wood, He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood. He likes to fuck his sister, and drink his moonshine, A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine! I rode into town with my ax in my holster, Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster. A farmer at the border, he tried to take me out, I drew my ax with the quickness, and cut his chicken feathers out! Walked in the village, and to the piggy's place, He opened up his door, and popped me in the face. It blew me off the porch, and cracked my head in half, But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh. (Hehe!) 40 in hand, I rose from the dead, And threw with all my might, I made a ping noise off his head. Since we out west, I had a little fun, And pulled his fuckin' tongue out the back of his cranium! (Chorus:) Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie. There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy cry. I might use a gun, (No!) I might use an ax, (yes!) The carnival's in town, come and get your freaky sex! (end chorus) The second little piggy, his house is made of brick, And this little piggy is a mutha fuckin' dick. He sits on his bench and gets all the respect, But if I get a chance, I'm goin' straight for the neck. He walked in the room, and everybody rose, Lopped off bucket chillin' underneath my clothes. First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit, But what this piggy don't know is he's about to get his neck wet! Now I see the baliff, I'm thinkin' what the fuck? I can smoke this room before his hearing aid will pick it up. Old-ass man, I let him get away, That tired mutha fucka, probably die tomorrow anyway. Here come the piggy, it's time for my case, His eyes are blood red with a wicked lookin' face. He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me a dime, So I racked on the bucket, made it fuckin' rain pork rhines! (chorus) (chorus) The last little piggy, his house is made of gold, He lives in a mansion on his own private road, I started walking down it, the guard he told me wait, I bounced off his head and did a Jackie Chan over the gate! Cuz this little piggy, must definatly fry, I'm a lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky. And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil, And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel. People in my city, they fight for they meals, He sleeps on a matress stuffed with hundred dollar bills. A richie is the devil, he never will admit it, So I'm a take his money stack and stuff his face wit' it. Opened up his door, he's sleeping in his bed, I grabbed a brick, and roller-laid it upside his head. He begged for his life, I told him it's too late, It took away his dough and watched the devil suffocate, cuz I need (chorus) (chorus) (chorus) (chorus)

Rrrrriiinnng. "Hotline." "H-Hello?" "Whuddup." "What's up. I not sure that I wanna live any more, that's what's up." "Hold On!…………………………Helloo?" "I-I need someone to talk to." "Call your mom." "My mother died last year." "Serves her right, bitch! Hahahaha! I'm just playin', fuck-nuts. Listen! Whenever you're feelin' low, just page me, and I'll call you." "You will?" "Sure. I'll call you a nerdy bitch for botherin' me! Now! Don't blow your fuckin' head off." "Why not? Who cares if I do?" "The poor guy who's gotta clean that shit up! If you're gonna do it, do it outside or somethin'!" "Y-You think I won't really do it, don't ya?" "Honestly, I could give a rat's ass." "You think I won't, huh? You think I'm kidding? You think I'm-" "Do it! Do it Fucker! Bring me the gun, I'll fuckin' do it for ya!" BOOM! "Hello? Hello? Are ya there?" "Hello?" "I knew ya wouldn't do it, ya scary bitch!"