JANUARY 2003


RANCID - Stickin' In My Eye
(this song is so catchy, been stuck in my head all day)

Few updates:
#1: GINGER has been added to the "other" section. Take a look.
#2: SEVON, and MANNY have been added to the "friends" section!
#3: New (but somewhat old) pictures of me have been uploaded to the "Scrap Book" section. It's on page 2. They are pictures from the last show I did with Five Points Up.

Last night before I fell asleep, my friends from Lancaster (when I was popular) popped into my thoughts. Gidget, Bill, Mike, Ray, Jeff, Kristen, Brooke, Chris, Hector, Tony, Jonel, Francis, and many others. I cried as I thought about those people I cared so much about. My friends. God, I really do miss them. Once I moved from Lancaster, it was then I fell into my hardcore depression. I thought about how I'd get letters from Brooke and Chris, and Kristen, and they'd tell me all about their life, and the new things with them. The last time I got a letter from any of them was about 5 years ago. I thought about mostly Brooke, and how I last picture her helping me out with a puzzle in a book I was reading. She really was a good friend to me. The first girl ever in my life that I liked as a real friend, not a girl I liked because she was pretty to me. It's weird, because when I picture her now, I still see the little girl I knew then, as if time never existed with her, she'd still be the same age. I really miss her. It hurts me so bad to know I've forever lost contact with those people that meant so much to me. argh.
Now that I just finished crying my brains out, I think I'll continue.

To start off with, while walking out of my drive way to go to work, I see my asshole boss drive the opposite way from work. That freaked me out. Once I got to work, he was there. It's like there's 2 of him, and if that's so, then kill me now. Anyway, work was work. I got there, and as soon as I was settled, I felt horrible. I don't know what the hell, but I've been really moody lately, and have been upset at everything. Mostly just angry thoughts about stuff. Manny comes to work, and things just automatically get better from then. Except the fact that my boss made me grate a shit load of cheese, clean, and other crap. I figured he was punishing me for talking to my bestfriend while doing my work at the same time. I got home, told my mom about it, and she thinks he's teaching me everything, cause he wants me to be shift leader. I found out from Manny later on, that the boss threated him by saying, "if you talk to Torrey, I'll punish you too". Fucking bullshit. I'd quit if I had another job to go to. I'd cuss him out if I didn't fear that my actions would ruin my chances at another job.

Band practice was tonight. Chris wasn't able to show, because his family was celebrating his mom's birthday. It was better that he didn't show up, because there was no practice. Sean's neighbor, complained to us in a bitchy attitude, saying she had to study for her final. After wasting 10 minutes of complaining about why we can't practice, she wastes more time telling Sean he shouldn't smoke. Fucking ridiculous. Sometimes I really hate people. (I was thinking that all day at work too, because I think there is a huge sign outside of Del Taco that reads "Retards Welcome - Give Torrey as much shit as possible, because I'll have his ass grating cheese later for enjoying his job" or something like that.

Anyway, so Sean, Manny and I went for a walk. We ended up stopping a one of Sean's friends house. I actually enjoyed running around with them (literally) doing front flips and cartwheels with everyone else on the grass. After, we all climbed on tree, and all laughed when Manny went to jump out, but fell on his ass. Then we went to Wherehouse so Manny could pick up some CD's for his girlfriend's birthday which is on July 5th. Sean's 2 friends left, and then we proceeded on to McDonalds. Manny decides to stop at 7-11 to pick up some lighters. We get in there, he finally decides on 2 lighters, and then the guy asks for ID. Manny was like "I forgot my wallet" (he's really 17, not allowed to buy them) so I told him I'd pay for it. I show the guy my ID, and after staring at it for 10 years, he let's me buy them. Then he tells me that I can't use my card, because there's something wrong with the satellites in the sky. (Also there was a sign on the register that said "no ATM/DEBIT cards". Manny then asks if he has any matches, and the guy didn't want to, but showed him a box full of them. Anyway, we got back to Sean's house, talked some more, played a little music, then I was dropped off by Manny's mom. That was pretty much it.

No practice on Friday, cause Sean's going to Disneyland, so I guess Saturday will have to be the day. As well as Sunday I think. That's cool. I still think that the show we have booked for next Friday at Sean's school is a bad idea. We're not ready, and Manny's got alot of rivals there. Anyway, that's pretty much it. Until next time.

  • Monday, January 27th, 2003
    5:11 PM



The Transplants - "Diamonds And Guns"


Wow, a whole new look eh? Yeah, and it took me 2 days to do it. For the people who don't realize just exactly what has changed.. I shall tell you

#1: On the "Main Page" you will see a collage that I made myself. The background is the Macbeth Shoe Company's own collage, and I pasted pictures of things I like on top of it. There, you'll find a picture of Box Car Racer, Green Day, cKy, Atticus, MacBeth, and HIM logo's. Also, a picture of Bam Margera, along with his friends, Brandon, Rabb, etc, as well as the cKy crew! If you look on the bottom, you'll see "Persuasion Outline".... more about that later.

#2: The new flash menu bar on the left side. It used to be a purple setup that had an eye open and look around when you'd mouse over it. Now, it's got some weird ass.. "high spy" look, which I thought was kind of cool. If you leave your cursor on it for awhile, it will search, search, and then "find" a red dot. Yeah, I'm sure if I didn't tell you that, you'd over look it. You asshole! Also, you'll see some of the titled on the menu bar have changed a bit.

#3, & #4: The "Updates" are now called my Journal. Since, I actually write in it like a journal, and not introduce things as an update.. I decided to revamp the Updates, and Archives. If you click on the "Archive" button, you will notice that I went threw a lot of work, and organized past journal entries. It's sorted out by months, starting with January of 2003, ending with September of 2002. So if you decide to read my past journal entries.. feel free to do so. That's why I have an archive you bastards.

#5: The "Who's Torrey?" page has now changed to my Biography page. I have updated that one as well, took out some things, and added some more. So, feel free to skim that page to read some new things that made me who I am today.

#6:: There is no more "music" section, because... well there just isn't. Whenever I've got a demo out for my band, then I'll post a music section, but until then, there is no need for one. (I know I know, just restrain yourself from crying) Besides, now I'll have more space to write junk... and yeah, I think that's all of the new things here on my site. *Whew*

Remember when I was talking about Persuasion Outline? For those who do not know what the fuck Persuasion Outline is... that my friends.. is my new band. Yeah yeah I know, I now have been in a total of 5 bands. Acidtone, an unnamed metal band (they wanted to be called Reseda Blvd), Five Points Up (R.I.P.), Paradigm21 (Which Chris, Sean, and I), and now Persuasion Outline. This new band consists of -

Me: Lead Vocals/Guitar
Chris New: Backup vocals/Rhythm Guitar
Emmanuel (Manny): Bass
Sean Krisberg: Very loud drums

Basically, it's Five Points Up, minus Paul, plus Manny. I think I told everyone that, but now you all know for sure what it is. Anyway!...
So I didn't get a call back from DVD 20/20, which means I'm still stuck at Del Taco. Last Tuesday, I thought I'd have $500 saved up... I forgot about my internet bill payment, so now I have $372, but that's okay.. because by next Tuesday, I should be pretty close to that $500 mark. Mom says she doesn't understand why I'm saving up for a car, because the Honda Accord that's in the garage, will be mine. I don't believe her, cause fucked up shit happens like that. I'm sure the FBI, or some kind of repo guy will take the car, and eventually take this house too. Anyone got some spare space in their room for me to sleep in when I become homeless?

I think the current song of the moment is "Diamonds And Guns" by The Transplants, which is the song I have set to play for this journal entry. It was going to be a Box Car Racer song, but I think I'll save that for the next update. For some reason, I really like the way Tim Armstrong sings. It's ... so fucking different. It's low, groggy, and as some would say, the perfect "punk" voice. I'm sure most of you have heard Rancid songs before, so you know what I'm talking about. If not, then what the fuck are you doing? Go listen to them

For those who keep asking, "WHEN WILL YOU GUYS HAVE A SHOW?"... it won't be anytime really soon. I'm guessing within the next ... 3 months? I think so. I wanna make sure when we go out, we really have our stuff down. I think I have a spot saved at the Cobalt Cafe (Canoga Park) for April of this year. The thing is, is we can't do any shows until Manny get's a new bass setup. He's running on a combo (which means the head (the part that controls the sound) is connected to the cab (cabinet that has a speaker in it, that produces the sound). It's called a combo because the head, and cab, are together in one piece. He wants to get a half stack, which means the head, and cab are separate pieces, connected by a cord in the back. (Confusing stuff eh?) Just consider the half stack to be an elegant restaurant, and a combo to be a fast food place. See what I mean now? No? Fuck you. Anyway, I brought in a new song on Friday, which was titled "Untitled"... but now it's called "Her". Why her? for 2 reasons... 1, Green Day has a song called "She".. I thought that was cool, and B, because my other favorite band "HIM" once they're here in the US, will be called "HER" so.. yeah there ya go. I'm currently working on another song, which sounds a lot like a Green Day song. You'd be surprised.. you'd think all of my songs would sound like Green Day, but, they don't. They're mostly emotional Box Car Racer sounding, or a lot harder...... *NEWS BREAK* Sean just called and said we could have practice on Wednesday, AND Friday, which is good.. because it was only on Friday's... whoohoo! I played the new riff I came up with for him, and he was so excited about it, he fuckin' threw his mom on the phone and made me play it for her! Pretty funny. Yeah, the new song I'm working on is about a person running, because people hate him, and he's trying to escape. If you blankly look at it, that's what you'll see the song as, but if you really study the lyrics, you'll realize the song has a completely different meaning. OoOOHhhhH..!
Manny told me today that he has a new song, and it sounds like Blink 182/NoFx, which sounds like it will be a rad song. I'm looking forward to that one.

Saturday, actually, early Sunday morning (around 12AM) ... was stopped by Sean (a different Sean, who lives 4 houses over. He didn't know my name, so he called out "Raven's owner!" (Raven is my dog) He then told me about him throwing a kick back, and that I should come meet people. So, I did. It was pretty fun, and I got to try a shot of.. Jagermiester, (I think that's spelled right) the only type of other alcohol I've had, is vodka, beer, Smirnoff ice, and doc's hard lemonade. This type of alcohol I had tasted like black liquorish, which, is what everyone was telling me. I'd rather choose that stuff over vodka any day. Anyway, I didn't get home until 4am, and after lying in bed for like 20-30 minutes, I couldn't sleep, so I wrote a 30 minute email, and then headed to bed.

Few hours later (which seemed like it would be a next day, but still was Sunday) I went back over to Sean's house to watch the Super Bowl game. Now, I'm not a fan of sports, but I had shit to do, and something about sitting around with a bunch of people just seemed kind of interesting. Some of the people that were at the "party" were there, as well as a bunch of new people. I got to meet Edwin, who's I think 19. He's trying' to form a band himself, and he was telling me he's the singer. The type of music he's into is along the lines of Pantera, Slayer, Metallica, stuff like that. He started talking about how he's trying' to learn guitar as well. He said it's too hard for him to play, and sing at the same time. It was then, I looked at myself, and really appreciated the abilities I do have. Anyway, watched half of the game, which was kind of interesting, until the, what's their name.. the Buc's? Yeah they like, fucking killed the Raiders. Half time, I went home, talked with mom, and then headed back. Sean called me into his room, and when I got in there, Edwin and Sean were sitting there with this brand new Ibanez bass. Sean wanted me to fix it, because it wasn't working. Well, that model bass takes a 9V battery to power the pickups (what "picks up" the sound from the strings). I told him to replace it, and it should work. And, it did. He told me to play it, so, after having to seriously retune the bass (it was all out of whack) I told him to put on She, by Green Day. He did, and I played to it. Next thing I know, a bunch of girls come running in the room to watch me play. They told me I was really good. If they only knew about all of the other people in the world who are so much better. Anyway, Sean wanted me to teach him something, but it's so hard to explain things to people sometimes. Then, didn't seem like a good time.
So yeah, watched the rest of the game, said bye to some people, and went home, and then started to revamp my site. Now it's complete.

Well, that's pretty much it for now kiddies. Expect another entry in a few days. My GUESTBOOK is still running, so don't hesitate to say something in it... even if it's small and stupid. I like to read feedback, positive, or negative. Oh yeah, for anyone who might have any ideas for my band's logo (what it should look like) or how our name should be placed, email me at heartagram18@hotmail.com. Anything would be greatly appreciated, and taken into consideration (just as long as there is no fucking rainbows, kthx.)
  • Wednesday, January 15th, 2003
    9:37 PM


Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year (Yep, SUPER LATE)

Howdy there. Why no update for like a month+? Because, Im lazy. That, and the fact that nothing new has been happening really. I'm still working at Del Taco, but I think my days at Pacific Sunwear are over. Atleast, I think they are. Yeah, I COULD call, and ask when I come in again, but also, I could put them out of misery, and just not call anymore. That's okay, I applied at "DVD 20/20" which ... is a DVD rental store. (For all of you creeps wondering if they have a "behind the curtain section".. yes they do. For those who don't know what a "behind the curtain" section is, you're too young anyway!)
So, musically, things have taken an interesting twist. Again, Paul decided to be himself, and leave. He left for another band, that was "signed" by Electra records. Funny, now he's sitting at home with an accoustic guitar or something. Anyway...
So, I finally found a new bassest. Funny, because he works at Del Taco, around the same time I do. His name is Emanual (or Manny). He goes to Burroughs High, and.. god damn, that bastard has a great personality. The first time I met him, I felt like things with him and I clicked. Next thing you know, I find out he plays bass, and he likes punk music. I was praying that this would be my break, and sure enough, it was. He came to my house awhile back, and we jammed a bit. His playing wasn't very great, and he admitted he was rusty, becuase his bass stays at his mom's house, and he's constantly switching where he likes (from mom's, to dad's house). We had out first practice on Friday last week, and things came together so well. What made that night even better, is the fact that CHRIS NEW (who was the first lead guitarist from Five Points Up) is gunna be playing with us. It was Mike Dirnt (bassest from Green Day) who said,

"If you're gunna play music, play music with your friends"
Sean, Chris, and now Manny, what other real friends do I have around this area? None, these guys are my buddy's. Our next practice is for this Friday, and Im super excited, because from out of no where, I have 2 songs to bring in. One's called "No Where To Go" and the other is called "Lost Identity". Oh yeah, the band is called Persuasion Outline.
I have 2 songs of the moment, and they are: Good Charlotte - Lifestyles Of The Rich And The Famous, and Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous. These 2 songs (especially the Good Charlotte one) have been stuck in my head for so long. I suggest you download them, if you haven't heard them already.
I've been spending my past few days playing Tony Hawk 4 online. Of course, I'm running around as Bam Margera. What's kind of weird, is I thought everyone would be playing Bam, but actually, everyone is playing their own skaters that they created.. which is good for me, becuase I'm pretty much the only Bam running around. Except today, I saw 2 other's playing Bam Margera, and one of them had the same clothes design as I had. Shit, I thought I was being creative. Looks like I'm not the only one.
Ohhh yeah, I got my Seymore Duncan Invader pickup installed in my guitar. The sound, and tone my guitar spits out now is so heavy, can be full of distortion, yet, bright, and clear too. It's deffenatly one of the best sounds I've heard from an electric guitar. I think I boosted the value of my guitar by $100. I'm thinking of buying the same guitar I already have, same color too (black) but having it tuned down, with it's orginal pickup, that way, I can open my style of play somewhat. It's only $100, but then again, I'm still saving up to get a car. I decided that getting a Honda CRX wouldn't be a very good idea, considering that I have a half stack, and I'd need a car with backseats, (or a big trunk) to hold my amp. So.. well, yah that was a bit of random information.
I've been playing a game called "IMX". It's an online stock market game with a twist. What's the twist you ask? Well, you start out with $1,000,000 IMX dollars, but instead of buying shares of businesses, you buy shares of bands, and music videos. I bought 10,000 shares of Green Day (which I ended up gaining $8,000 from them) I bought about 1,000 of Blink 182 (I lost money with them) and I bought 10 shares from Thursday (They're nutral). Now I have no money to spend on shares, but atleast I know the value of my stocks are growing slowly. What's the point of the game? Well, if you get a lot of IMX money, you can actually trade it in for real items (ie, X-Boxes, CD's, etc). Yeah, pretty cool. If you wanna check it out, go to