Me (to nick): "dude, you're so totally cut off"
Holly: "he's cut off anyway, it's a school night"
ME: "the Hatfields and the ...MCcalesters"
Bass: "Mcoys!"
" i love you more than blue balls"
-Half Pint
"if i was drunk, i'd be all drunk and shit"
-Half Pint
"when i was a freshman in high school, there was this senior girl who passed out on a couch at her party, and when we found her, her dog was going down on her"
-Mona
"I've heard of people spreading peanut butter on *themselves* for similar purposes"
-Jason
(...5 minutes later)
"was that extra chunky or creamy peanut butter?"
-Me
" Rule #58: Never, EVER let the director listen to ANYTHING through headphones"
-Phillip
"I forgot the other 57 rules"
-Phillip
"woah,Slow down, you avant garde motherfucker!"
-Me
"Is motherfucker one word or two?"
-Me
"I'm drunk squirt, i'm not deaf"
-Meghan
"It was a very Leopard print chirstmas"
-Myron
Jamie: "She was 10 years older than me"
steven: "what's so wrong with that"
Mike: "gravity"
"So, basically, you just Tea Bag the microwave"
-Jamie
Jesse: "Dude, my water broke"
Me: "so you're gonna have a baby?"
Jesse: "no, but there's definitely some moisture down here"
"i need something absorbent"
- Jesse
"I'm good at being a failure"
-Jesse
"when did we make sweet, sweet love? i forgot"
-Jesse
"it's so interesting how quickly water dries"
- Jesse
"I'll be back with another lighthearted rant about communism, and maybe I'll throw in some titty."
-Jesse
"I had a dream last night that I was in mortal terror of Joe Pesci. All references to George Carlin aside, it was a real nightmare......... I'm going to have a hard time watching Joe Pesci on the screen now. Though it was pretty cool when he shot me in the head. "
-Jesse
"I believe all systems are changeable, just like all religions, laws, and flavored condoms."
-Jesse
"That's it. Put the chillinz to bed honey, I'm coming home loaded! "
-Chuck to Jesse
"I'm fuckin' tired, and a stripper sat in my lap tonight."
-Jesse
Suffer the little children come unto me...bitch."
-Jesse
"Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Cope."
-Adam, in part
"The force is strong with deez nuts."
-Jesse
"The tongue of man is a twisty thing."
- Homer
"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."
- Bob Hope
"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet."
- Dave Barry
"Man make water!!"
-Joe
Holly, turn your drunk off!!"
-Jesse
“you smell high!”
-Jesse
"Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer."
-Deep Thoughts
"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, and maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because hey, free dummy."
-Deep Thoughts
"We're fat people. We live in a meat locker."
-Jesse, explaining why the thermostat in his house is set to a permanent 35 degrees.
"Did you ever hear one of these corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love.' Beep."
"Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling....Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love."
-A.R.
"I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?"
-Overheard at a cast party
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister!
"Jesus saves...string
"Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved."
-Nick
"My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then silence."
-Holly
"Way to confirm her worst fears, Captain Tact. "
-Wing Chun
"Bitch! I'm BellSouth! I will fuck your shit up!!"
-Lucas to some lady who cut him off
"And there he was, reigning supreme at number two..."
-Nick
"Are you honestly holding a can of peaches?"
-me to Charlie
"Man, I feel a hate-crime coming on." –Banky
"FUCK GODDAM HELL YEAH on my nuts!"
–me
"I got an opportunity to go to the most beautiful country on earth, in my opinion, work with a genuine fellowship of people and torture a lot of actors."
-One of Lord of the Rings' Best Makeup winners
"Has anyone seen my arm? You can't miss it; it's green."
-DBZ (Thanks Melinda)
"I'm dirty (like a hippy) and I need to shower (unlike a hippy)."
–Bass
"For tonight, God is a DJ."
–Faithless
"Applesauce, bitch!!"
-Jesse (well, sorta)
"You have to sanitize EVERYTHING. It's like having a fuckin baby or something."
-me on brewing beer
"Burger King is on fire...there is a god"
-Erin's away message
"The exchange students here had a series of parties where we played drinking games from all of our countries. Iceland is a wacky place, I must tell you."
-Nick, from the forums
The revolution will be televised."
B to the T
"That settles it then. Take the Antarctica cruise. The only thing you might get confused and go home with would be a penguin."
-This guy on the board
"Suck. Fuck. FucksucksuckfuckfuckityfuckDoom."
– Adam
Me: My ejaculations don't offend you do they?
Holly: Well, the verbal ones don't.... 5-2-02
"Bastard-southwillriseagain-etymologists!"
– Me 5-2-02
"I never bought all those rules about what a film is supposed to be."
- Richard Linklater 4-22-02
"Ya know...Chicago...it's just a fuckin' city, but it does it soooooo well."
- Me 3-13-02
"You can't spell Oak Ridge without the word 'die'"
- Me 3-13-02
"I didn't break Chicago!"
3-2-02 "Eegah820690903: and the line about my cock actually works as an in-joke for the hip parts of the audience"
- occured during AIM script conference with Nick
"DJWanaB: I'm going to live off imbibing the essence of the Sun and Moon now. Food is for pussies." 11-06-01
"Cheers, and remember, always buy two copies of a record, you never know when you may need them or whether the artist will make it through the Harsh English winter."
- B.L.I.M 10-16-01
"I don't wanna rob a gas station! Is there something wrong with that?!"
- Holly 10-16-01
"DJ WanaB: Oh well...piss on your ever-lasting imortal and omnipitant ebony hued Jebus statue. Piss on it with a 90ft. platinum penis of amazing proportions." (?) 10-07-01
"WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Where did the koala bear come from? Seriously, every fucking morning…… "
- From a survey I took. 9-27-01
"It's time to drop some real shit."
- BT 9-11-01
"So. We went to Moby last week...Now if I can just see Crystal Method (yeah right), and maybe Prodigy one more time (ditto), I can die happy."
- Holly (hehehehe) 9-10-01
"Eegah820690903: I preach the Gospel of Subsonic Funk" 9-10-01
"Eegah820690903: Be not fooled or sullied by hype. It will only succumb to mediocrity ;deez nuts:32-93" 7-21-01
"Tommorow is like Christmas, except you're not getting any presents and you might be laughed at"
- Holly, referring to my mounting tension as regards to the rave I'm DJing. 6-20-01
"I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up the whole screen. Please Fuck off."
-Nick's AIM away message 6-15-01
"DJWanaB :Ok, I watch GOOD movie now...are you eating me yet? Eegah820690903: Ha...no, the virtual BJ is on AOL 6.0, not 5.0" 5-29-01
"I'm a really clumsy drunk around firewood."
- Chelsea 4-19-01
"Be assured that the gods of Love and Mercy have heard your pleas for help. They have taped them and enjoy playing them for huge laughs at their god parties."
- The Onion Horoscope (Libra) 4-9-01
"Welcome to your addiction. Don't bend it"
- Holly (introducing a friend to Preacher) 4 -4 - 01
"I mean, if people in high school and college had that much sex, the world would be a much stickier place than it already is. We would also make tires out of something other than laytex."
- me
"Oh, so you like nuns, do you? Well, where you're going you'll see plenty of nuns. Hell!"
- Chief Wiggum 3-20-01
"You raped me! Cool......"
- Jesse
"Now you see what happens when you speak to me nicely. You see what happens, how sweet I can be. But if you get on my wrong side, I know where you live. I will come to your house and I will nail your pet’s head to a coffee table."
- Harlan Ellison
Try not to dry out in the social aridity that is Oak Ridge
-Me
the will to do is often outweighed by the need to sleep.
-Nick
no one is perfect until you fall in love with them
-?
bowie: what shall we be excited about tomorrow?
moby: To see heaven in a grain of sand and eternity in a wildflower. and 'cops' on fox.
Caemlyn21: He is beginning to cause me some serious trouble.
KarlGruber: Eat him.
Caemlyn21: No, he'd enjoy that.
KarlGruber: Then have someone nasty eat him
Fractal Spider: I could outfuck you while sleeping
Fractal Spider: You need to bathe in the healing light of my cock
Fractal Spider: that's right
Fractal Spider: Suffer the little children come unto me..bitch
Fractal Spider: those who remain idle face the wrath of my balls in their hair
Mease19: why is your warning level 55%
Caemlyn21: Rhys
