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This afternoon, in the ALTAiR Global Hospital, ALTAiR's significant others gave birth to the future continuation of Shadow Synth music. The children are said to be noticeably healthy, and are already showing signs of exceptional musical aptitude. Erik, Casey, and Aaron were seen holding their children in what some say was a planned photo op. But the touching scene was one the world will never forget. Witnesses on the scene stated unanimously that the band was looking "amazingly young" for 150 years, and teenage groupies were still clawing past security to get a look at the three guys from Tacoma.

All in all, it turned out to be a wonderfully pleasant event, and it just goes to show that masturbation is the key to longevity and success!