"YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY THE GODS TO COMPLETE A QUEST," said the mysterious visitor in an ancient, yet recognizable tongue.

"What is this quest, that we may please the gods?" replied Erik, the band's head programmer.

"YOU MUST DEFEAT EARTH'S GREATEST EVIL, AN EVIL SO BLACK AND SO VILE THAT NONE HAVE ENCOUNTERED IT AND ESCAPED WITH THIER SOULS."

"But what shall we receive, should we complete this quest?" inquired Aaron, ALTAiR's drummer.

"YOU SHALL RECIEVE THE GREATEST HONOR THAT CAN BE BESTOWED TO MORTAL MAN, THE GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE." boomed the apparition.

"Tell us this evil's name, messenger, that we may find and destroy this scourge to humankind!" stated Casey, the band's guitarist.

The apparition pulsed brightly, and paused for a moment, gazing upon its champions. In time, it said, with quivering tone, "THE NAME OF THIS EVIL, AS IT IS KNOWN TO MEN, IS.... IT IS....

*** 'N SYNC! *** "

"'N SYNC!!!!" gasped all three of the guys from Tacoma.

"YES! 'N SYNC!!!" The spirit replied, its voice still wavering.

The air was heavy for a moment as muscles tensed and nostrils flared. The three guys from Tacoma muttered a few words to each other, then turned to the ghostly apparition, "Though your quest is a mission of death, we accept the responsibility. Not just for the goal of everlasting life, but to rid the face of the planet of this evil for all time."

With that, the messenger of the gods faded from view. In its place appered three golden instruments. A golden synthesizer, a golden digital drum set, and a golden electric guitar.

"Truly, we have been blessed," said Erik, grasping the keyboard firmly in his hands.

"Yes, this is a quest which will forever burn our names in the annals of time!" cried Casey, holding the glistening guitar aloft.

Aaron ran his fingers over the surface of the digital drums, which hummed with energy. "We will obliterate those assholes!"

With that, ALTAiR boldly stepped into the cold night air. Before them, in the parking lot sat their electric steeds, where they had left them. In turn, each mounted their ride and flew off into the stars... and destiny.

Soaring high above the cities, the three guys from Tacoma sought their prey. Though they had battled many times before, never had they faced such evil. Up in the sky, alone, there would be no reason to conceal fear, but no fear could be found on their weathered, yet attractive faces. They travelled on through the night, until, just before sunrise, they heard the familiar girlish wailing of 'N Sync.

"We have arrived at last," said Casey solemnly.

With that, they whipped their reins, and their noble steeds rocketted toward the ground. The dreaded 'N Sync was oblivious to our heroes' arrival, as their mindnumbing drone was projecting loudly into a local stadium. Hypnotized onlookers were oblivious as well, dazed by 'N Sync's terrible racket. With all the commotion, ALTAiR slipped behind stage unnoticed. Quickly dispatching the small security resistance that developed, they disconnected all of the PA cables and amplifiers. 'N Sync, of course, was unaffected, and they continued lipsyncing to the music in their headphones. Erik, being a virtual genius, quickly rewired 'N Sync's equipment to accept the much bigger sound of ALTAiR. Then Aaron threw the light switch. The stadium went dark.

Startled fans began to come out of their brainfog and yell incomprehensible phrases at the stage. The surprised 'N Sync stopped "singing" and began to look for the source of the problem. But the source found them first. From behind the stage, a loud rumbling could be heard. Then bright flashes of light. Massive arcs of lightning flashed across the sky and stage. Then a loud explosion of sound blasted from the speakers, as ALTAiR started to play their new hit song "Rock the Reactor." The horrified 'N Sync screeched with evil, and lunged at the intrepid musicians.

But the three guys from Tacoma were ready. Directing his golden guitar at their foe, Casey chucked out some power chords, which magically manifested themselves as energy blasts. 'N Sync was not without its defenses. It called up terrors from the deep. Wicked, slimy things that absorbed and reflected ALTAiR's attacks. Erik whirled around and threw volleys of synthy energy at the creatures, but they regenerated too quickly. Then Aaron, silent until now, pounded thunderous waves of drum rhythms. The creatures screamed in agony as they were torn asunder. Then Casey blasted more energy at them, and the peril was no more.

But their battle was not over. 'N Sync had one more trick up its sleeve. They began to sing love songs, which brought young nubile female fans onto stage, and into the path of ALTAiR's golden instruments. But the three guys from Tacoma, too, had a trick. They ripped off their shirts, exposing their grossly enlarged muscular bodies. The young girls saw the sweat-laden pecs, and their knees got weak. They fell to the ground, and out of harm's way.

"For the love of music!" bellowed Erik, who played a furious bassline right into Joey's head, which simply exploded.

"For the love of good hairstyles!" shouted Casey, as he thrash-metalled Lance's frail skeleton into dust.

"For a girlfriend!" yelled Aaron, playing the most complicated synth drum beat ever played. The sound was so intense, it gellified Justin immediately, and mortally wounded JC.

"You shall never again taint this holy soil!" ALTAiR said in unison, as they blasted Chris and his silly glasses into infinity.

The thunderous demise of the evil 'N Sync died down. Exhausted and weary, ALTAiR dragged themselves to their electric steeds. The crowd cheered, but the three guys from Tacoma didn't notice.

"We have vanquished but a fraction of the evil that lies in pop music," said Erik, slowly.

Casey and Aaron, with furrowed brow, turned skyward, pondering.

"Shall the foolishness of man never cease?" cried Aaron.

"Probably not, my friends... Probably not." came Casey's tired response.

With that, the daring synth trio flew off into space, and the rest of time...