(Zachery's faithful companion and lifetime friend Phil Waterbury walks in slowly and brings him a stack of magazines)
Zach: What are these?
Phil: Well, I know you want to get back into wrestling so I figured some TZW magazines would be great for you to catch up on things
Zach: I don't know...I can't quite decide if I want to come back or not. I've done my time in the EHWA and all the other feds I've conquered. It may just be best for me to lay down and retire. You know? Enjoy my glory days
Phil: Your career isn't over yet. Come on Zach...you're a great guy. There's plenty of wrestling left for you to do.
Zach: Let me sleep on it we'll talk in the morning.
Phil: Alright, I'll see you tommorow 'round breakfast and by the way I expect bacon and eggs don't try to pull any of that French Toast bullshit
Zach:(smirking) You got it.
(Zach walks inside his home as it begins to get dark and Phil rides away in his dusty pick-up truck. He walks into his bedroom and climbs into bed to goes to sleep unusually early. In his slumber he immediatley slips into a dream of his glory days before his wrestling career came to an abrupt halt)
Ring Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen this match is scheduled for one-fall for the World Heavyweight Championship. Entering the ring weighing in at 255 pounds, "The Shotgun"-Zachery-McBlackery!
(The opppening riff to his classic entrance music "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple rings through out the arena as the fans rise to their feet and cheer loudly for their favorite wrestler.)
(The dream flashes forward to the a different point in the match. Zachery is down on the mat after a hard suplex from his opponent "Revenge". Zachery reaches his feet with the support of the crowd chanting SHOTGUN! Revenge becomes frustrated that the fans are against him so he cockily climbs to the top rope, faces the audience and proceeds to curse them out forgetting the threat of Zachery behind him. Shotgun runs over to Revenge hops on the middle-rope and proceeds to deliver one of his signature moves, a Back-Body Drop from the turnbuckle to the mat. Zachery hooks the leg of his opponent for the pin...)
Commentator: THERE HE GOES! 1! 2!-
(Zachery wakes up to find his pal Phil Waterbury with a pitcher of water about to prank his friend with a rude awakening, the alarm clock flashed 10:39 A.M. Apparently Phil felt it was time for a wake up call)
Phil: Mornin' asshole! Wheres the bacon?
Zach: I'm barely awake keep your damn voice down. I'm gonna go take a shower I expect some food on the table when I get out, or else.
Phil: Or else what?
Zach: (jokingly) Or else I'll drop your ass like I did so many wrestlers.
Phil: And like you so will again.(akward pause)
Zach: I like my eggs scrambled...see you in a few minutes.
10 minutes later....
(Zachery enters the kitchen still dripping from his shower and sits down to eat the meal prepared by Phil)
Phil: So..er...you going to wrestle again?
Zach: I had a dream last night...
Phil: (Interupting)Don't change the subject! Yes or no?
Zach: I wasn't changing anything, hear me out will ya? I had a dream last night, I dreamt of the Championship match I won against Revenge. It was glorious.
Phil: So you'll return to your fans?
Zach: Yeah but another thing...your coming with me.
Phil: Lets be real here, I don't wrestle.
Zach: (dryly)Thanks for the update. But I don't mean for you to wrestle. I want you to be my manager.
Phil: Then its a deal. I can see it now..SHOTGUN and...
Zach: Oh thats right, you'll need a wrestling name.. (Zach looks down at his bowl of oatmeal)Thats it! Oats! Howard Oats!
Phil: Lets get started (Phil starts humming the theme to the movie Rocky which earns him a playful slap to the face from Zachery)
(Phil and Zach find themselves in the gym getting back into shape for Zachery's return when a few fans recognize him and approach him)
Fan 1: Is it true your coming back to wrestle Shotgun?!
Zach: Well..
Phil: You bet your ass he is! He's going to be the best damn guy out there
Fan 2: Who the hell are you?
Phil: I'm Phil Fuckin Waterbury, but you can call me Howard Oats.
Fan 2: Why in the hell would I call you that when your names Phil...
Phil: You'll see, and don't talk to me like that you little punk!
Fan 1: Oh thats right "respect your elders".
Zach: You callin' us old little man?
Fan 2: Whatta' you gonna do about it, your nothin' but a washed-up old wrestler.
(That was the last straw, Zachery stood up straight and grabbed the fan by the throat and threw him threw him into a rack of freeweights leaving him on the floor and out of the way. Mean while the remaining fan had thrown a medicine ball at Phil knocking him down which left Zachery no choice but to body slam the attacker onto his friend)
Zach: THERES SOME "WASHED-UP" FOR YA!
(Phil and Zach were later asked to leave the gym)
(Howard Oats and Shotgun spent the remaider of the month training hard and reviewing both old and new wrestling tapes but Phil was never quite sure if Zach was ready until one morning...)
(Phil pulls up very early in the morning at around 6:00 a.m in the same old Pick-Up truck. He enters Zachs house with out even knocking looking for Zach so they can start there day. He checks his bedroom, Zachs not there, he calls his name and still no reply.)
Phil:(bewildered) Where the hell can he be?
(Phil walks outside the sun is just coming up he turns around to see Zachery McBlackery sitting cross-legged on his own rooftop gazing into the sky. Upon closer observation he sees that Zach is dressed in bright green and blue clothes with knee-pads and neon tape on his wrists, his old wrestling attire)
(Phil picks up a ladder sets it up climbs up to his pal on the roof. He sits down next to him, with out even looking at eachother)
Phil: Your ready.
(Zach nods knowling, still gazing into the sky. The sun is much higher in the sky now and its glare shines upon them)
Some days later...
(Phil bursts into Zachs house in the afternoon, a giant smile on his face)
Phil: Zach! Zach where are you I got somthing to tell you!
Zach:(from the other room) I'm in the shitter give me 10 seconds, or minutes depending on how this ends up.
Phil: Hell no, I have great news and I want you to hear it while your not well, taking a shit.
(Zach bursts out of the bathroom toilet paper dangling off his shoe, still buckeling his belt)
Zach: This better be good I've had this one on hold for days, I don't think it can stay in my body much longer.
Phil: That's disgusting...try not to talk for a while. Anyway, Your first match has been booked!
Zach: (forgetting the request that he shut up) Holy Shit! That's amazing. So who am I facing?
Phil: Your gonna be up against these do douche bags Avirez and Trévianne.
Zach: (his smile slowly drifting into a frown) Both of them, same time?
Phil: Oh God no! Not yet. It's a tag team match. Your partner is Wicked Clown.
Zach: Wicked Clown? I hear that guys a psychopath, escaped from jail and killed a horse or somthing.
Phil: (matter of factly) Doesn't matter he's on your side. He what these guys are up to and you'll both get along and come out on top.
Zach: Sounds good to me. As long as he doesn't try to eat my children or rape my wife.
Phil: Hey dipshit you don't have any children and I don't think it would have to come to "rape" with your wife, she'd give in if he waved at her...whore.
Zach: Not funny...Anyway hand me that camera I don't have time to get down there for an interview.We'll tape a little something and send it in for them to play.
Zach: (looking directly into the camera, slipping on his wrestling attire quick before Phil hit the play button) Ah Yes. TZW Wrestling. Your in for a treat. My manager Oats brings it to my attention that I've got a match coming up, a Tag match. I may look old but I'll kick your ass like a bronco on a gay cowboy. Avirez and Trévianne you don't stand a chance. Wicked Clown has the most dangerous mind in the business and me I got the...the most dangerous...MUSCLES in the business. So together were the most DANGEROUS MEN IN THE BUSINESS. So ya'll better watch'ur asses cause this Shotgun is about to go OFF!
(Camera cuts out into static and random cuts of scrambled porn as you hear in the backround-" Damnit Phil is this one of your tapes!")