“Joey…” “You knew how hard it was for me to love you” “I’m so sorry” “You knew that I had to practically reconstruct myself when I fell for you, change everything that I thought I knew about myself and you let me walk in on THAT?” Joey almost spat the words out and Lance just stood crying in front of him. Joey just felt revulsion and turned to walk away but Lance grabbed his arm and turned him back. “Lance you make me sick and I can’t stand to be near you, fuck off” Joey said the words with such venom and hate that Lance could do nothing but walk away, he walked and walked blindly yet ended up in his room all the same, huddled under the covers and sobbing hysterically because he knew that it was over. Kind, friendly, happy Joey went through hell to love him and he just threw it away for what? A small voice deep in his head replied ‘for JC’ Chris was in his room writing to his mom. He knew that he could contact her by phone or by e-mail but it didn’t really feel the same as writing a letter the old fashioned way, he giggled to himself and said ‘old man’ He heard a soft knock at the door and went to answer it. He opened the door to find the train wreck of a man that was Joey. His face was tear stained and blotchy, his eyes red and puffy and he reeked of alcohol. As soon as Chris opened the door Joey almost fell through it. Chris caught him and Joey started crying, a process he’d obviously started some time ago. “Joey, what’s wrong?” Joey just clung onto Chris and cried into his shoulder, the older man helped him over to the bed and lay him down. Chris sat next to him, stroking his hair as Joey pushed his way into Chris’ lap. The two remained like that, Joey’s body shaking from the sobs and Chris trying to comfort him. Eventually Joey’s tears dried up and he began to speak. “Lance… I, I caught him with JC, they were kissing and it didn’t look like they were gonna stop. God I love him so much, what am I going to do?” “O.K. this is really bad, I can’t believe Lance would do that” “I thought he loved me” “Maybe he does, maybe JC was a mistake… wait is that why Jayce has been acting that way?” “I think he’s in love with Lance, God its all such a mess” Chris continued to stroke Joey. Lost in his own thoughts, which while they were totally caring about his band mates’ happiness, there was also a niggling question of ‘how is this going to affect the group?’ that he couldn’t push out of his mind. “Chris?” “Hmmm?” “Can I sleep here tonight, with you?” “Yeah” “Good” Joey closed his eyes and Chris went over to Joey’s room to collect his stuff. He bumped into Justin in the corridor. “Dude!!” “Hey Just… Do you know what happened?” “No, what happened where?” “Joey walked in on JC and Lance making out. Joey is devastated and he’s staying with me tonight will you check on JC? Oh and Lance, I mean what he did sucked but he’s still our friend and we have to figure out a way to fix this” “I’m going to JC first” Justin walked off to JC’s room, he knocked and when there was no answer he used his spare keycard to get into the room. The place was in total darkness; Justin flicked on the light and could just see the top of a curly head poking out from the duvet on the bed. “JC” The lump stirred and Justin lifted up the covers and slid into bed behind JC. Justin stroked JC’s arm and JC snuggled back into the warmth of Justin’s body. “What happened C?” “It was so beautiful, I felt… it was like, I can’t even describe just to touch him and hold him, to kiss him. I couldn’t believe it, then Joey walked in and it was like the moment shattered, he ran after Joey. God Joey is going to hate me” “For a little while because he’s still mad. But you love Lance and he’ll understand that. Lance is the one who needs to do the explaining” “He said he used to love me, I just didn’t see it. He waited for me and then fell for Joey, but I don’t understand… why did he risk everything if he doesn’t feel something for me?” “I can’t answer that, but you don’t deserve to be anyone’s second best JC because you’re beautiful and special” JC turned around to face Justin, he looked deep into Justin’s face and he seemed to have aged a decade since JC last looked at him. “Stay” “O.K. JC but I just have to go check on Lance” Justin got up and walked towards the door. “I’ll be back baby” JC giggled and mimicked ‘I’ll be back’ in an atrocious Terminator impression. Justin got to Lance’s door and hesitated before he knocked. He could hear Lance softly crying, he took a deep breath and walked in. Lance looked up sharply but when he saw it was Justin who had come in he went back to crying. “Hey Lance” “You all hate me” “No we don’t but I think you have some explaining to do” Justin strode across the room and enveloped Lance in a tight hug. “What are you doing Poofu?” “I, I don’t know. When JC told me he loved me I just flashed back to all those nights when I wished that’s what he’d say. I prayed so hard Justin and it just never happened and it hurt so much I couldn’t stand it. Then Joey happened and I was happy for the first time in forever. I hate that I hurt him.” “Lance who do you love?” “Joey” “Then you need to make things right, but if you ever hurt JC like that again then we’re over. You, me, the band everything because I won’t see him hurting like this again. Do you understand me?” Lance studied Justin for a moment before softly smiling “Go to him Justin” Chris and Joey got into bed, Joey exhausted from hours of crying and Chris’ mind working overtime trying to figure out a way through this mess. Joey put his arm around Chris and pulled him close. They fell asleep wrapped around one another, Chris’ comforting Joey when he awoke crying Lance’s name. Justin walked back to JC’s room. As soon as he walked through the door JC’s face lit up. “You really did come back” “Well I wasn’t going to run away” Justin got in to bed and JC snuggled up to him. “Goodnight Justin” “Goodnight Mary Sue” JC laughed for the first time in days, an actual real laugh that made his belly shake. Justin kissed him on the forehead and smoothed back his hair and JC laid his head on Justin’s chest. Justin twined his fingers in the older mans hair and lay back. Soon JC was snoring softly and Justin lay awake wondering what he should do.
Joey ran down the narrow corridor, not really knowing where he was going but just needing to run somewhere. He could hear Lance running after him, his cries sounding whiny and so unlike the man he loved. He stopped dead and Lance almost ran into the back of him.