"Has JC got some kind of foot problem?" Chris flops down beside Justin on the sofa and peers intently at him. "Besides the fact they smell, that is. Though the smell is a problem, admittedly. But yeah. Is there more to it?" "Huh?" Chris snatches the magazine Justin's reading from his hands and tosses it over his shoulder, where it lands with a soft thud. "Hey!" protests Justin. "I was reading--" "JC. Feet. Tell me. I care about these things." "I have no idea what you're talking about." Justin leans sideways and scrabbles around on the floor, feeling for the magazine. His fingers touch the cover and he grabs it, frowning when he sees the pages are now all creased and bent. His new Cosmo. Damn it. Chris whips the magazine out of his hands once more, holding up a finger when Justin starts to protest. "Shhh...you can finish the quiz about," - he glances at the page- "if you're hot or not in a minute. Ok. Now, JC - tall, skinny guy? Kinda spacy? All that hair?" He waves his hands around his head in what Justin supposes is a representation of JC's curls. Or something. It's hard to tell with Chris. He could be signalling the mothership for all Justin knows. "Tell me about his feet," Chris says, finishing with a dramatic wave of his own foot. "What about his feet?" Chris sighs and raps his knuckles against Justin's forehead. "That's what I'm asking! What's up with his feet? Because I saw him with this book, and I suspect he has a fungus he's been keeping from us. And you know, I'm a pretty sharing kinda guy, but when it comes to fungus--" "Chris. Chris!" Justin slaps a palm across Chris' mouth to stop him babbling. It works, sort of. He keeps talking, but it's muffled at least. "Now, what? What book?" "Mmmmphhm." Justin drops his hand. "What?" "Well," Chris licks his lips, then pauses. "Mmm. Hand lotion? You really gotta stop reading Cosmo, you big girl." He licks his lips again. "Though...that's not too bad. Vitamin E and honey, right? Mmm. Smooth." Justin slugs him in the shoulder. "Book. Tell me about the book." "Oh, right. Well, it was something about," -he purses his lips- "Fang. No. Fung? Hmm. Fong. Fong Shoes. Yeah. Those." Justin bites on the inside of his mouth to stop from laughing. "Feng Shui?" "Yeah! That!" Chris looks surprised. "You knew about his fungus? Dude. You could've told me. If it's got so bad he needs special shoes, then--" Justin's hand goes across Chris' mouth again. "It's not a fungus. It's a philosophy." He grimaces slightly as he feels Chris licking his palm. "It's...uh...it's about creating a harmonious atmosphere to live in. And JC and I--cut that out, man, it's making me nauseous- JC and I are studying it." He snatches his hand away from Chris' mouth and wipes it on the leg of his jeans. "Ew," he adds, scrunching up his nose. "A philosophy?" Chris raises an eyebrow. "Harmonious atmosphere? You want us all to fart in tune now?" "No, it's--" "We live on a bus. A bus, J. How can a bus be harmonious? It's hardly even got an atmosphere at all. Unless we've all been eating Mexican. Or if Joey's riding with us. He has his own special atmosphere." Chris picks up the Cosmo and whaps Justin over the head with it. "You and C need to get a hobby." Justin sniffs. "Well, that's where the feng shui comes in. That's our new hobby. JC thought--" "Oh yeah, JC thinks a lot of things," mutters Chris. "He thought no-one would figure out Digital Getdown was all about jerking off, too." Justin stands up, Cosmo in hand. "Well, get used to it. I've been reading JC's book, and this feng shui stuff is interesting, and there's gonna be some changes around here. We need to create some qi, and harness the flow of chi. And uh....other stuff." He scratches his head. "And if you'll excuse me, I need to go read chapter three." "Ooh, you're up to chapter three already?" Chris snorts, slapping his knee in amusement. "Wow. Chapter three." Justin sniffs indignantly. "It's a big book," he hisses, glowering at Chris. "Really big," he adds, and stalks off to his bunk. *** "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Chris wakes up with his heart racing in his chest when JC's anguished howl breaks into his sleep. He stumbles out of his bunk, wondering what the hell is wrong. When he gets out into the lounge area, he sees JC standing there, a pair of underpants dangling from one fingertip. Ok. Maybe he doesn't want to know what's happened. In fact, he thinks he'd probably prefer it that way. Yes. Definitely. He starts to back away slowly, managing only to crash into a small table that he's sure wasn't there when he went to bed. The hell? "Chris!" JC sees him, and spins around, the underwear swaying gently in his hand. "Are these yours?" He flings them at Chris and they flutter gracefully to the floor in front of him. Huh. How about that? They are his. He picks them up, and JC stands there, hands on hips, looking furious. "What?" Chris is confused. "Hello? What?" Justin's head pops up from behind the sofa, and he stands up, a large book in his hands. "Dude," he says, shaking his head. "You fucked up the chi big time." He opens the book, taps a page. "Big time." Chris blinks. What? "Huh?" "Those." JC points to the discarded underpants. "You had those in," -and he shudders- "in the prosperity corner." He frowns. "The prosperity corner, Chris. Your dirty underwear. I mean, really." Justin's still nodding and tapping the page. "Big no-no, man. Fucks with the chi." "What were you thinking?" JC's still frowning at him, arms folded, foot tapping. Chris shrugs. He wasn't thinking anything. Just that he should change his underwear. So he did. "Dude. I thought it was the getting laid corner," he says, grinning at JC. JC doesn't grin back. At all. Ok. Apparently they're taking this shit seriously. Chris figures this calls for drastic action. He grabs hold of the table behind him, and picks it up, holding it above his head. JC and Justin stare at him, eyes wide. Chris stares back. He has no fucking idea what he's doing, but he's figuring inspiration will hit him. Eventually. Maybe. It doesn't. He puts the table back down, and smiles sheepishly. "Um," he says, glancing between the two of them. "I. Uh. Yeah. Sorry." "No, that's brilliant!" JC bounds over and throws his arms round him, a huge smile on his face. "Totally inspired, man! Wow." Chris blinks. "It was?" Tap, tap, tap goes Justin's finger on the book. "Yeah. It really was, man. You channelled the flow of the chi back into something good. Got rid of the bad underpants vibes. They're all in the table now." What? "They are?" Chris looks at the table, then at JC who's still beaming at him happily. "So I...I did something good?" He coughs. "I mean, yes. I knew that." JC nods. "All is harmonious again." He flutters his hands and closes his eyes. Hums a little, then giggles. "I can feel the chi rising." Well, hello. Chris can see the chi rising. They're some tight pants JC's wearing. He looks at Justin, who's carefully closing the book, and placing it on the floor beside the sofa. "You should go back to bed now," Justin whispers to Chris, pushing him gently back towards his bunk. "I have to help harness JC's chi. It's rising fast." He grins. "And he says only I know how to tame it." "Right. Um. Ok." Chris nods, and stoops down to pick up his underpants on his way to the back of the bus. Freaks, the both of them. What with their chi, and qi and prosperity corners. Not to mention the rampant blowjobbery. Feng Shui, indeed. He climbs into his bunk, and pulls the blankets over his head. He hears JC moaning, and the low murmur of Justin's voice. He sighs, rolls over. Maybe he might have a look through that big book later. Find out the best way to harness his own chi, because he can definitely feel it rising. Those horny fuckers and their harmonious humping- how's a man expected to sleep through that? He has a sudden thought, and sits up. "Hey...Justin?" A slight rustle, JC's giggle, then Justin's muffled voice drifts back to him. "Huh?" Chris grins. "Can I borrow some of that hand lotion?" *** [ disclaimer: i really know nothing about feng shui besides the little bits and pieces i read on the internet as i wrote this. however, prosperity corners are real, as is qi and chi. but hey, if there is a big book of feng shui, i'm sure Justin's read it. ]