I took
a walk around the world
To ease
my troubled mind
I left
my body laying somewhere
In the
sands of time
I
watched the world float to
The
dark side of the moon
After
all, I knew it had to be
Something
to do with you
I
really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long
as you’ll be my friend at the end
If I go
crazy, then will you still
Call me
Superman
If
I’m alive and well, will you
Be
there holding my hand
I’ll
keep you by my side with
My
superhuman might
— 3 Doors Down
Justin closed the French doors behind him as he stepped
out onto the balcony alone. He knew Chris didn’t mind — not with the
well-stocked fridge and bar inside there as well as the bumping stereo system.
He was a little too anxious to sit down as the phone at
his ear kept ringing and begging for a response from another one far, far away.
Then, finally, at the start of the fourth insistent ring, that voice, the one as
smooth as fine cashmere, cascaded over Justin’s eardrum with the magic of one
soft word.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Did I wake you up?” Justin wasn’t wearing a
watch, but he guesstimated it to be about 3:30 in the afternoon on the West
Coast.
“Yeah. Sort of. I just kinda crashed here in front of
some stupid movie on the tube.”
“I’m sorry, Jace,” Justin whispered. And, truly,
he was.
“Nah, it’s cool……….Is something not right?
Are you okay?”
Recognizing that warm swelling around his heart, Justin
knew it would flow upstream to invade his eye sockets very soon. “Look at you.
Always so concerned……….about me.”
“And is that wrong?”
“No. It’s just that I was worried about *you*. I
hadda talk to you, to check on you.”
“I’m fine, Ju,” JC assured him with soothing
quietness. “Just a little beat. But I’ll live.”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”
“I’m so damn sorry we’re all split up like this,
C. It’s my fault, and I’m sorry. This is messed up,” Justin blurted out.
“Justin, don’t. Okay? It happened. We’re not
perfect.”
“We’re close……….to perfect.”
JC chuckled faintly. “Maybe. Sometimes I think that
too. But it’s like all rose bushes have thorns, babe. No matter how beautiful
they appear.”
“I shoulda stayed home with you last night, sweetness.
We’d be fucking together right now if I had.” Justin laughed nervously.
“And, yeah, pun intended. Haha.”
“Maybe I was wrong to leave. ‘Cause I miss the hell
outta those little attempts of yours to actually be funny.”
“Aw, fuck you.”
“Promise?”
Justin winced at the tightening in his balls. Knowing
he couldn’t have JC tonight was going to surely make his aching desire
hundreds of times worse.
“Totally. As much and as hard as you want.”
“You know I want all of you, baby.”
Justin sat down in one of the chairs and shoved the
hardening bulge in his jeans down with the heel of his palm. “Jace?”
“I’m still here, Ju.”
“I can’t find Trace’s dead ass yet today, so I
dunno what the fuck he told you about last night. But nothing was going down.”
“Doesn’t matter,” JC mumbled into the phone from
a great distance away.
“I was just dancing with some nameless chick who
pulled me out there. That’s all.”
*I DON’T want to know*
“Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter, I said.”
“Yes, it does. You know it does, Jace. You didn’t
come across as all overjoyed about it in your note. What’d Trace say?”
“Nothing.”
“JC! I know when something’s bothering you. Tell me
what the fuck it is. I wanna ease your mind. Please, baby.”
JC’s response was a deep sigh. Nothing more.
“Okay. Then I’m gonna beat it outta the fucker. Can
I call you back in a few? I’m going to find ‘im.”
“Justin, stop it……….He just said there was a
guy involved too.”
“Involved in WHAT?”
“The dirty dancing.”
“What the fuck?”
“Will you just chill out? It doesn’t matter,
Justin. Not worth getting upset over. Forget it. Trace was drunk big-time.”
“So was *I*, sweetness. But I wasn’t ho-ing in
public with some other dude. No fucking way.”
“Drop it. Okay?” JC pleaded.
“No, hold up. There WAS some freak that kept creeping
up behind me, humping my leg and shit like some real queer head case……….’til
I told him I’d break him in fucking half if he did it again……….Nothing
else, baby. I swear.”
“I kinda figured it was something like that.
Trace’s history at story-telling and all.”
“I didn’t……….I wasn’t……….I would
never.”
“You weren’t *that* mad at me, eh?” Now it was
JC’s turn to snicker.
“Do ya believe me?”
“Yes, Justin. I believe you. We haven’t gotten to
the point of lying to each other, have we?”
“And that shit I said about you and Lance?” On a
confessional roll, Justin was ready to be done with all his transgressions, as
soon as possible. “I WAS off the hook. Like you said……….I’m sorry, JC.
That was whack unfair of me to accuse you of anything with him.”
“It’s cool, baby. As long as you know the
truth……….that you’re the one I love. Only you.”
“I know. I just like to hear you say it.”
“Hmm. Do I not say it enough?”
Justin thought about it for a second or two. “Does it
make me a damn girl to admit that I never get enough of you?”
JC broke out laughing. “No. But I think we should
keep it between you and me.”
“Can we be done with all of this stupid crap?”
“I think we are.”
“Will you, um, tell Lance ‘hello’ for me and give
him my best wishes?”
“You could call him yourself, baby. I’m sure he’d
love to hear from you.”
“Duh. Yeah, I guess I could. I will……….Did
you……….last night on the phone?”
“No, Ju. He doesn’t know anything.”
“Well, I, um, talked to Chris……….I was kinda
desperate.”
“The Elf’s in town already?” JC perked up a bit.
“Is he there? At our place?”
“He’s inside. We’re going to dinner
later…….And hey! How’d you know that’s where I am? At our place?”
“I recognized the sounds of our balcony, baby. How
much time do we spend out there?”
“Hmm. And some dumbasses call you a freaky
airhead……….I’m so damn glad you’re mine.”
“Your freaky airhead?”
“Just mine……….CK found your art,
Jace……….He loves it……….And he says I’m in all of it.”
Like a rain of thin silk, JC answered, “It’s true.
You’re the brightness, the brilliance……….all the things that light me
up.”
Justin swallowed hard and swiped a fist over his moist
eyes. “That’s what he said.”
“Someone should watch Kirkpatrick. He may be smarter
than originally estimated. And that might be dangerous.”
“I love you, JC. I……….wish……….you
were……….here,” Justin choked.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’ll be back to you
Wednesday.”
“That’s my nine a.m. rehearsal day. Then I’m free
all afternoon. I could meet your plane.”
“Those NASA folks have got some tour of the Space
Center set up for me. I’m not sure exactly when it’s happening. So I’ll
let you know. But trust me, baby. Wednesday. I’ll be there.”
“I trust you, C. I do.”
~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~
Tuesday came and went quickly for Justin, as he had a
next-to-impossible slate of interviews and appearances to show up for — on top
of his two-hour rehearsal session to fit in the exhausting schedule too. He and
Chris had finally gotten in touch with Lance the evening before and got all
caught up with him and what’s been happening in their very different worlds
lately. Then they’d dragged Lonnie to Chinatown for a spot of adventurous
dinner with relative anonymity.
Chris had decided to “torment” Joey on Tuesday
while “Timbertot plays supahstah.” So, after one more short but
soul-nourishing phone call to JC that Tuesday morning before he took off for
Houston, Justin had left the apartment in high spirits with a huge grin lighting
up his face, ready to continue the task of introducing himself as a standalone
entertainer to the whole wide world.
All it took was the reassurance of the abiding support
and warming comfort to skyrocket his self-confidence and, hell, his entire
psyche. That encouraging affection from the one he loved so deeply. So deeply
that it sometimes spooked him. Yes, yes. His lucky charm.
Tuesday evening Justin spent with Lynn, his stepfather,
and Trace — after Trace had discovered just how NOT-so-pleased Justin was over
what JC had been told. Trace had backed down and weakly apologized because,
honestly (so he claimed), he couldn’t remember what the hell he’d babbled
into the cell phone Sunday night when JC had called. Justin’s slick scowl and
narrowed blue eyes had been as effective as any menacing words could have
accomplished, and Trace had made a mental notation to himself to never, never
again mess around so carelessly with things concerning the two Js. No, sir.
The foursome had dined in elegance at a schwank Italian
place on the Upper West Side that Joey had recommended. Justin had put on his
best “styling in high class” demeanor, downed all of his lobster-filled
pasta, imbibed glass after glass of rich dark wine, and tried his damnedest to
not wonder about how much of a good time JC might be having with his friend
Lance in southeast Texas that evening.
Wednesday’s early stage practice was a bitch for
Justin. Not because too many leftover Chianti tannins were wrecking his nerve
endings and drying up his blood, nor because he was worn out completely and
beginning to feel more and more afraid about his big performance. No. None of
that at all.
Real bottom line for his antsiness: JC would be back
this evening. Just a matter of time now.
And the slow-building high of anticipation coursed
through Justin like churning waves of a warm tide. He could have cared less if
this super-hyped anxiousness qualified him as a squealing high school girl in
love. He couldn’t wait to see JC again. And all these people up in his grill
and all the hours in front of him were the fucking little annoyances that stood
between him and what he most wanted/needed.
*And it all comes down to you*
He somehow managed to make it through rehearsal
pleasantly enough and then politely dodged out of all the lunch invitations
thrown at him by several people on the set. Back in the quiet crib by noon, he
ordered a large loaded pizza from a local joint and then hopped in the shower
while waiting for it to be delivered.
As he ate, he sat at the desk in the bedroom and jotted
down a few lines that had been sneaking around in his head all morning.
Possibly, he mused, he’d ganked them from something he’d seen/heard in his
sleep the night before. When he’d been dreaming all by himself.
Eventually, he laid the pen down and stretched out on
the unmade bed. Before five more minutes had flown by, he was sound asleep.
Dreaming alone once more.
~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~
JC had a suspicion he’d find Justin back at the
apartment that afternoon. Sure, the boy was notoriously unpredictable. But,
after all this time they’d been together, JC had adapted an instinct of sorts,
an ability to predict what he may or may not do/say in most situations.
He checked with the building’s doorman and was told,
“Yes, Mr. Chasez. He arrived home about three hours ago. And he hasn’t
exited again.”
“Thanks. I’m surprising him. So shhhhhh.” JC had
smiled.
He hadn’t expected, however, to find a napping
boyfriend upstairs, laid out so handsomely and peacefully on his back in the
middle of their messy bed. He set his bag down quietly and stood there, taking
in the perfectly lovely form — from the reddish dark-blond close-cropped hair,
down over that flawless glowing face and the sculpted masculine body. And he
smiled at the quick little grunt/snort sound that passed for a snore from the
pretty full mouth.
Finally pulling his eyes away, JC glanced around the
room and noticed the steno tablet on the desk behind him. As he stepped closer,
he recognized Justin’s scripted, light handwriting……….
Wrapped in miracles
That’s what it’s like to be with you
When I’m terrified by the lurking abyss
Of the fame that can be measured in flashbulbs
Of the sonic assault from so many wanting their own
tiny piece of me
You’re there
Transcendent and resplendent
Arms that wrap around me and pull me out of my head
Whispers that calm me and make me sane again
Breathe fire over me, bring me back to life
Infuse me with your “always” love
My Archangel
Only when he’d finished reading did JC realize he’d
backed up and fallen to sit down on the side of the bed. The haunting,
mesmerizing “poem” had filled up his throat and his eyes with warm, wet
emotion. He shivered as he looked over the words again.
For *me*? I’m all *that*?
Placing the pad on the nightstand, he kicked off his
shoes, pulled his shirt over his head, and turned around to his lover, with a
new layer of respect and heightened longing.
“Christ, you’re so damn sexy,” JC whispered very
quietly as he let his eyes travel over Justin’s sprawled body again. “I can
keep you, right? And no shares either, right? All mine.”
It registered somewhere in his consciousness that
Justin was wearing nothing but those goofy-ass silk boxers with pink polka-dots
all over them that JC had bought for him as a joke weeks ago and just *knew*
he’d never put them on. Now he was sure he saw a slight protrusion under the
fabric there at the crotch. Or was that merely a wrinkle? JC decided he should
most definitely investigate.
Gently, he reached his hand out and smoothed the flat
part of it over the soft silk that covered Justin’s cock. Solid, pulsating
warmth met his touch and begged to be held, fondled.
JC sighed a little, moaned a little as he sunk down
next to the lean frame beside him and breathed in the fresh, soapy scent. Why,
of course his boy had come home and showered after sweating it up at rehearsal.
That was Justin. Always clean.
JC’s palm moved slowly over the growing hardness
under the shorts, squeezing and massaging, and his lips slid damply down
Justin’s bristly jaw line. Justin stirred just slightly and groaned softly
when JC’s mouth swept across his and then moved downward, trailing moisture
over the firm column of his neck, grazing the stacked necklaces that lay on his
throat, on to the vibrating warm planes of his chest with its pair of dark-red
budding nipples.
The erection in his hand had swollen to a thick shaft
that sneaked through the hole in the boxers for more attention. JC stroked it up
and down deftly and affectionately as he rubbed his own stiffening heat against
Justin’s hard thigh.
Kissing across the taut skin of Justin’s chest, JC
kept on with his journey downward and licked up the taste of the flesh over
Justin’s hipbone. Justin writhed and whimpered, awaking obviously to a
talented tongue lapping at one of his most erotically-sensitive spots.
“Ceeeeeeee,” he hissed with groggy thickness and
grabbed blindly at JC. “What are you doing here, baby?”
“What does it feel like, sexy?” JC whispered and
then went for the underwear, tugging the elastic down over Justin’s slender
hips and then over the hard-as-a-brick member that twitched and rose straight up
in the air when left on its own. Once the shorts were eliminated, JC held the
base of the firm length in his fist and rolled the wet tip of his tongue around
the head.
Justin almost jumped off the bed, bucking pelvis first.
“Fuck! I swear I must be still dreaming ‘cuz you being in bed with me
sucking my dick is too suweeeeeet to be true, Jace.”
“Funny, then, ‘cause I’ve been dreaming of doing
exactly that, baby. So relax.”
JC leaned in further and closed his lips around the tip
of the throbbing heat, holding it there breathlessly like being perched at the
top of a rollercoaster’s highest hill, just before he slowly slid his mouth
down over the slick length, taking it all into a tight, steamy suction.
“GodDAMN!!!” Justin groaned, driving his large
fingers into JC’s hair. “Man, you are the BEST at that, sweetness. The
fucking best.”
JC continued to stroke the velvety wetness of his mouth
up and down over and over Justin’s long hardness and realigned himself between
Justin’s spread legs because he enjoyed the strength of those rippling thigh
muscles surrounding his body. His own cock ached to be touched beneath the
denim, but he barely noticed until Justin slowed down his wriggling and twisting
and moaning long enough to lean forward and reach for him.
“Stop, baby, please. It feels too damn good. If you
keep that up, I’m gonna blow my wad. And I don’t want to
yet……….C’mere. Lemme see you.”
JC released the prize his mouth claimed and let it fall
to rest on Justin’s abdomen. Then he allowed his boyfriend to pull him forward
so that he lay across the other long body in the bed and subsequently felt the
strong arms embrace him tightly. Face to face now with the brightness of the
blue eyes and the glistening sheen of the red lips, he winced involuntarily,
almost as if he’d forgotten the power of their realness in three short days.
“Hey,” he said, with the consistency of cotton.
Justin grinned, rocking his hips so that their
erections ground into each other. “Hmm……….You are some kinda sneaky and
tricky, aren’t ya? ……….Making me believe you’d be home
tonight……….So where do ya hide your little devil horns?”
“I’ve only earned one horn so far……….and I
think you can feel where it is……….not exactly hiding.” JC laughed and
pressed closer to the sensation of Justin’s beating heart.
“Doesn’t feel little either.” Justin brushed his
fingertips over JC’s soft, dark hair. Petting, loving. “What if I hadn’t,
like, been here?”
“I would’ve hunted you down. Isn’t that what you
said you’d do to me?”
“Yep. And I would too……….‘cuz you’re worth
it……….I’m glad you’re here again……….with me.”
“Me too.”
Justin slipped his hand around to the back of JC’s
neck and brought his head forward for a warm, bottomless kiss. Connected and
intertwined from their mouths down to their groins, they were both seized by the
passion of the moment and perfectly okay with that imprisonment.
With care and grace, Justin held JC in his arms and
rolled them both over, so that JC was now lying down with Justin above him.
Justin buried his face between JC’s neck and shoulder, mouthing the flesh
there and running his tongue up under the beads of necklaces JC wore. His right
hand wandered purposely over the wiry body and massaged the hot bulge between
JC’s thighs, tender full balls included.
“Jace……….you taste so……….sweet.”
JC moaned quietly and arched up into the burning caress
from Justin’s hand. No sexual release since early Sunday, and here it was
Wednesday afternoon. In bed with a naked, turned-on Justin. To say he was
hurting like hell for it would have been the understatement of all time.
“Ju, baby……….I’m gonna cream these jeans if
you keep rubbing me off like that.”
Justin raised his head, his eyes heavy with mischief
and want. “And why the hell are ya still wearing the fuckers?”
“Well, because, because……….your dumbass
hasn’t taken them off me yet……….homeboy.”
Resting on his side now, Justin giggled as he tore at
the snap and zipper of the jeans and yanked them off, tossing them behind him.
JC’s rigid protrusion poked up through the flimsy cotton boxer briefs, and he
groaned as Justin fisted it gently.
“Well, these gotta go too, dawg.”
“No argument here.”
“I want you, Jace.” Justin blinked the piercing
sky-blue eyes up at him.
“Then do it. You know I want it, baby.”
Suspended over JC and balanced on his forearms, Justin
reached for the small tube he knew he’d find in the drawer of JC’s
nightstand. JC watched and waited, feeling the thud of intense anticipation as
Justin’s cock rubbed over his. He squeezed his hand in between their sleek
abdomens to slide the two solid shafts together, creating what felt like tiny
sparks of fire with the warm friction.
Instead of lubing himself up, Justin used the dollop of
cool gel on his fingertip to slowly massage JC’s small round opening, gently
palming his heavy sack at the same time. JC gasped and squirmed beneath him and
begged in panted whispers for more, more, please more.
Feeling the building steam in his own crotch, Justin
dipped the finger into the beckoning hole and groaned aloud with JC at the
thought that such suctioning warmth would soon be around his dick. As he slid
the digit in and out, making JC writhe and pant more, he licked his lips
instinctively at the pale drops that had oozed out of the tip of JC’s length.
Christ, how he loved knowing he’d caused that excited reaction in JC.
Slowly, he pulled his finger out and pushed his
hardness down there instead. For a second or two (at the risk of bursting
himself), he let the head of his cock circle and caress the waiting entrance,
mixing his own leakage with the spread gel. JC squirmed toward him, wanting all
of him, pleading for some release. So he gently shoved all of thick length into
the tight, slick heat he knew would surround and embrace him.
“Fuck, Jace. You always feel so damn good……….so
hot.”
JC sighed and shifted his hips to get more of Justin
inside, deeper, craving that filling connection. “You feel better than that,
baby……….I was wanting you so much.”
“Me too. And you got me now, sweetness.”
Sensually and slowly at first, they made love, feeling
out the small tingles and tremors in each other’s body, kissing lightly
between the grunts and groans, ignoring the droplets of perspiration that fell
and rolled off them. But then, like always, the surging heat got hotter and
faster, demanding more and more, momentum spilling/spinning/spiraling them
higher and further until the burning fire overtook them both and blinded them
with the crashing force of a power they’d created and shared together.
JC came first, stroking himself along with Justin’s
rhythmic thrusts. He cried out Justin’s name several times as his lover drove
into him and touched those special places that he seemed to know so well. Justin
couldn’t hold back any longer either then, watching JC’s long fingers
gripped around his erupting cock, his eyes shut tight and calling out Justin’s
name. He let got with a loud hissed curse and emptied himself in the depths of
the hot snugness that bore down and constricted around him.
They lay together on the bed, panting and sweating,
Justin half on and half off JC’s body. JC raised his hand to wipe the dripping
moisture off Justin’s face.
“Thank you, baby.”
“You……….don’t havta……….thank
me……….Jace……….I love you.”
“For what you wrote over there……….I saw
it……….It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever done.”
Justin pressed closer to him, hugging him horizontally.
“No. *You’re* the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done. Because of you,
I’m a better person……….And sometimes I feel it so much it has to come
out……….like those lines over there.”
“I love you too, Justin. Never doubt that. Please.”
“I won’t, C. Never again. It’s all good. Me and
you. We’re solid.”
“Yeah, we are. So……….you wanna go out tonight?
Me and you? Maybe a little dinner, catch Joe’s act on Broadway, then a little
partying? The eve of your big night, baby. I want you to relax and enjoy
yourself. What do ya say?”
Justin lifted his head off JC’s chest and smiled.
“You had this all planned all along, didn’t you?”
JC shrugged and half-grinned. Then he winked at Justin.
“Okay. Busted. Maybe I did. With Chris’s covert help. And I do NOT, by the
way, owe him money.”
“That fucker didn’t say a word to me ‘bout
this.”
“He wasn’t supposed to. Duh. Wouldn’t be a
surprise then, dumbass.”
“Okay, yeah. I’ll go out with ya, sweetness. Did ya
really think I’d say no? I’d do anything with you.”
JC watched the glimmering of the blue eyes and the
curling of the shiny lips. He grazed his fingertips over the smooth cheeks.
“Hmm. Well, our restaurant reservations aren’t for
a few hours. We could, um, you know……….do this……….again.”
And, as always, Justin’s ringing laughter proved to
be the perfect soundtrack for their own little personal romance drama.
~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~
FINI