Part 5


Dr. Marie North is about the same age as JC, he sums up right away when he and Justin stroll into Pets Are People Too just after brunch. She’s somewhere between 25 and 30, just like he is. He also senses immediately that she knows exactly who they are (from that subtle glint of recognition in her large hazel eyes when she glances upward at them) but that she won’t melt into a screaming-teeny mass of goo and acknowledge it. She’s rather petite under the white lab coat, he can see, but the shapeless shroud can’t hide swells and curves that must surely be her decidedly anything-but-shapeless body.

Dude. She’s probably even got at least one copy of both our CDs. Okay, well, maybe J’s.

“Hello there and welcome! Can I be of some assistance to you gentlemen this afternoon?” she greets them quickly and confidently, with a genuine smile.

And it startles JC at first, the sound of it. He hadn’t been quite prepared for other human contact quite yet.

He’d been swearing inside his own head that if Justin reaches out and pinches either one of his butt cheeks one more damn time in this uber-public place and then snickers that soft, sly snicker, JC will be forced to whirl around and bitch-slap his gropey, cavalier ass into the middle of next week.

TimberSouse, see, had drunk himself a few too many Bloody Marys with Tabasco at the restaurant and is now feeling all giggly and touchy-feely and just plain fucking silly-ass brave. And, even though he JC loves Justin’s hand (or hands) all over his ass or any other part of his anatomy for that matter, that’s not entirely a good way to be behaving — not in front of folks you don’t even damn know. No way, José.

“Just fucking quit it, J. Okay?” JC had hissed just moments earlier, just before they had crawled out of the “moonlight-silver” Carerra in the parking lot. Justin had been leaning over the gearshift console between them and attempting to plant a sloppy-wet smooch on the side of JC’s neck. Right there in broad daylight. “Somebody’s gonna see, man. Damnit!”

“But, Jace, pleazze,” Justin had whined. “You tase so frigging delicious and suhweet. C’mon. Gimme some shugah.”

JC had turned a narrowed-eye glare on him. “Give you some what?” But then he’d had to break down and grin. At that pretty mouth, so close, so inviting. He reaches up with the intention of pushing Justin away, but brushes the back of his hand down Justin’s smooth jaw line instead. “I like it when you’re all sheared like a lamb and baby-faced.”

“I know,” Justin murmurs small words saturated with silky seduction. “‘Assss why I’m trying to break you down, baby.”

“You’re such a bad boy, Justin. Fucker. Just stop……….Now if we could just get rid of your other beard so easily.”

Justin rolls his eyes and groans. “Fuck, Jace. Way to bring down the mood when we’ve having some fun. Shit. Leave her ass out of it.”

“If only you’d do the same. Haha.”

Justin presses forward and tries to silence him with a plush-hot kiss. JC sighs and allows his lips to be caressed with the soft, damp feel of Justin’s but then catches himself and pulls back slightly, narrowing his eyes. “Damnit, Justin! I’m trying to be discreet here, and YOU’RE trying to be a dumbass. Look. Save it for when we get home, babe. Okay? This is, like, dangerous out here.”

Justin had sat back in his seat and smiled dreamily, lazily, over at him. “I think I’m in love with you, JC Shah-zaay.”

“Really? Then you wanna get a pet to share with me? A pet we can agree on together?”

“Happily ever together?”

“Yes, Justin. Happily ever together. You and me.”

“That sounds coo-well……….How ‘bout one tiny kisss firssst, baby? Whadaya say?”

“Didn’t I already tell you NO? Now stop being bratty. Let’s move.”

JC had known better than to agree to “one tiny kisss firssst.” He wasn’t strong enough. Now that Justin is no longer a human Chia Pet, JC knows full well that one itty bitty smooch would land them on their backs with the seats reclined, making out like a couple of horny, mad rabbits. And he couldn’t risk that. Not here. Later, maybe. No. Later, definitely.

“Um, hi. Yes. We were thinking about, um, we wanted to see what’s available, well, what you have to offer……….I mean, uh, what the clinic has to offer as far as pets to adopt go,” JC stutters as he approaches the counter where the lady vet who just addressed him is standing. And he wonders what he had just sounded more like in front of her: flamingly gay or mentally retarded.

Simultaneously, he wonders if it’s helping or hurting his case that Justin is still lagging somewhere behind him in the waiting area, fiddling with the assortment of dog collars on the wall and snickering quietly but loud enough to be heard. Probably at JC’s most recent verbal train wreck.

Naughty fucker. An irresistible one, yeah, gotta give that to him. But still a naughty fucker. And a damn fantastic one at that.

The animal doctor, relaxed and unassuming, doesn’t seem bothered by them and their weirdness at all, however, JC realizes as he meets her clear, friendly eyes. She blinks full, lush eyelashes over their colors slowly and pulls him in with an easy, gentle smile.

“Oh, sure. That’s no problem. We have a wide variety of wonderful pets here eager to find good owners and good homes. Did you have something particular in mind, sir?”

JC lets out a deep breath and considers asking (politely, of course) if he can see a catalogue of choices. A menu?

It’s not a fucking drive-through burger joint, dumbshit. Jesus. How many papaya-juice-and-champagne drinks did you have anyway? Duh!

He runs one hand through his thick, dark curls — that got a bit volumized with wind during brunch at the outdoor restaurant — and uses the other hand to smooth down the front of his baby-blue 1964 T-shirt. “Well, see, it’s my first time doing this, so, well, sorry for being so damn virginal and looking like an ass and all, but what are my, you know, options?”

“Oh, don’t worry about a thing! You’re fine, you’re fine,” she promises warmly, as if she’s oh-so perfectly accustomed to drunken celeb boybanders waltzing in here in suspicious pairs, spouting spastic nonsense in rambling Tourette’s Syndrome phrases, and actually expecting to waltz back out of the place with a live animal that has to be cared for. “And you can call me Marie. I’ll be glad to help.”

“Oh. Okay. Hi. I’m JC,” he answers and accepts her extended handshake over the counter. “Thanks. I hate being a newbie.”

Her grip is firm and sure, but her skin is soft and supple, and JC admires that. Moisturizing is good, yeah. He also notices — and also admires — the blouse she has on inside that white jacket that he can catch glimpses of. Well-made with multiple thin stripes in pastel-rainbow shades. Very much like the cute one Lance clowned around in at that insane Hilfiger show he and Joey did recently.

Damn. That’s sharp. I could go for one myself. I wonder if they make it for guys. And if not, can I get the fuck away with wearing a chick’s instead?

“Well, JC. Nice to make your acquaintance. And you’re in luck. We have some brand-new collie puppies that are just absolutely to-die-for adorable. They’re owner had to move overseas very suddenly. They’re just back here, and I’d love to show you if you’d like to follow me,” Doc Marie offers with another winning smile.

JC has no doubts whatsoever now that she recognizes them. And he’s pretty sure by this point that she might even be flirting with him. She’s certainly looking at him that way girls tend to look at him. The one that ranges in intensity from “Hot damn, you are some kind of fine” to “Hot damn, how much would I love to tackle you, lick every inch of your body, and then fuck you cross-eyed.” The one Justin keeps telling him he’s going to have to get used to seeing aimed at him again, now that he’s getting back into his public’s eyes.

He breathes out audibly again. “Okay, well, here’s the thing. See —”

“Hey, hey. Lemme jump in here and say how we might wanna skip the doggy-dog trip. Just F.Y.I. Done it. That ship has sailed. See, my boy’s looking for something different. Right, Jace?”

Man, and there’s Justin, crouching up behind him, casually slinking an arm across JC’s shoulder and draping it around his neck, leaning in to contribute his breathy opinion on the subject at hand. Smelling tangy and sweet, like tomato juice and Swedish vodka. Bumping his hip against JC’s in a very overly-friendly way.

Fuck……….As if the good doctor didn’t already finger us for being a coupla homos, now she probably has us pegged as a coupla homos TOGETHER……….Thanks, Justin. I was hoping you’d fucking OUT us today. Thanks a fucking lot……….And damned if the sexy bastard’s not giving me a hard-on……….I’m gonna kill him……….No. I’m not. I’m gonna……..

“Not a problem!” the helpful lady in white and pastels throws up her small, spread hands and proclaims. “We have tons of choices. We can work something out.”

“Sorry, Doctor Marie. This is Justin,” JC rolls his eyes at the intrusion and says. But he’s sure she is already well aware of who Justin is — ‘cause, hell, isn’t 99% of the known solar system aware of who Justin is? — and he feels himself impulsively swaying into that lean body next to him rather than pulling away from it, in spite of the risk of indiscretion.

Fuck it.

“Hello, Justin. Very nice to meet you,” she says merrily and offers her hand again.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Marie. The pleasure is all mine,” he dazzles her with The Phosphorescent, Photogenic Smile Of Pure Sunshine.

JC clears his throat. “Justin is, um……….”

Way past half-drunk and might say anyfuckingthing on a whim?

The best lay I’ve ever had?

The love of my whole fucking life?

Right. For me.

“Right. He’s right……….We had a puppy. A, um, Scottish Terrier, right, J? But he was kind of, you know, hard to handle.”

“He kinda gobbled up folks’s shoes.”

“And kinda pooped on ‘em too.”

“But he was fun, wasn’t he, Jace?”

JC rolls his eyes again. And the doctor snickers quietly, watching the two of them. “Well, he was funny-LOOKING. That’s for damn sure.” And Justin laughs too, subsequently hugging JC closer in the hold he still has on his neck.

“He was cute. Now cut it out.”

“Yes, yes. I hear ya,” the doctor replies with waves of sympathy in her voice and in her eyes. “That breed can be quite feisty and hyper. They require lots of attention. I understand your situation totally.”

“Ah, dude’s in a fat-cat home now. He’s not hurting one bit. Got lots of T.L.C. and good company. And we’ll still be keeping an eye on him too,” Justin spills freely.

“Wonderful. I’m sure that eases your mind a lot.”

Impatient, JC sighs. Very big. “So, moving along, what do you have besides pooches? Anything?”

“Anything?” Doc Marie feigns surprise and winks. “Why, yes! We have lots and lots of cats. They’re all sweethearts. But then I’m a loopy cat-loving person myself. I may be partial. Haha. And then there are the bunnies, hamsters, and guinea pigs, the two parakeets, and the turtles and lizards. Oh, and the one mid-sized iguana that’s a hoot. He’s named Lola. Um, yeah, he’s a he. Inside joke around here. An old song by The Kinks,” she rambles on and then laughs.

JC shudders against Justin, and Justin giggles. “Eeww. No scaly, reptilic creatures, please. Sorry.”

“Jace. ‘Reptilian,’ babe.”

“Whatever. Scerry. Just no,” JC hisses and wrinkles his nose, standing there so incredibly comfortable next to Justin that he never once thinks twice about Justin being so familiar and endearing toward him in the presence of a stranger.

And if it had crossed his mind, he may have simmered with the nonchalant “fuck it” attitude again. Justin inevitably has that kind of hocus-pocus, wearing-down power over him, he can’t deny.

And he can’t help but wonder, as the nice lady doctor tosses a pretty hand in the air once again, if she has nipple rings too. Like he does.

Because her blouse is partially unbuttoned downward, he can see the smooth, buttery skin of her chest (no doubt amply moisturized as well) and the beginning of the swelled crevice between her large bosoms. If they were good pals and she did actually have hers pierced too, he guesses, they could have some wine and chat and compare just how tender those little pricked buds can get to certain situations and sensations. Such as when your boyfriend brushes his wildebeest-hairy cheek across the bare peak of one of them. He’d love to get the real feminine perspective on all that shit, he’s sure.

“Oh, that’s totally fine on the no-scary-reptiles thing, JC. That’s an acquired taste, I think. No big deal. Just name what you’d like to see, and we’re off. Okay?” she says with a sparkly shimmer in her eye and interrupts his surreality imaginings.

“Hmm,” JC shrugs. “How about we just start at the top — well, minus the collies, you know, if you don’t mind — and work our way down?”

“Absolutely. That sounds like a plan. C’mon. Right this way,” she says breathily and smiles again before turning to lead them through a door to the back of the clinic.

JC starts to move away from the counter to follow, and Justin lets his long, muscled arm slide off JC’s shoulders and down his back — promptly pinching and squeezing what it can grab of JC’s ass when it reaches that far. JC wheels around to sneer at him/squint at him while Doc Marie isn’t looking, but Justin just smiles mischievously and presses his finger to his pursed lips to shush JC.

“Chill out, baby. She didn’t see,” he whispers.

“She’s seen enough already, dickhead. Plus she SO knows who we really are. So could you just flame a little BRIGHTER?”

“So? I’m sure she’d like to see lots MORE.”

“And you’d just love to put on a little show for her, wouldn’t you? You hot-dog fucker. Sometimes I can’t decide if you’re just an asshole or whole ass.”

“Aww, that’s cute, Jace. And clever,” Justin giggles. And then he proves that, indeed, he can. Flame a little brighter.

“Yo! Doc Marie! Me and my boy wanna check out all your collections of critters. And, see, I want him to leave here today with exactly what he wants. He’s gotta have what he wants, yo. ‘Cause, you know, if HE’s happy, then he makes ME happy. Catch my drift?”

“Justin! Damnit! You fucking mental ASS,” JC hisses under his breath as he hears both his partner and the good doctor snicker playfully.



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