Somnambulism


Somnambulism: An abnormal condition of sleep in which motor acts (as walking) are performed. The cause is usually unknown but may also be related to fatigue, prior sleep loss, or anxiety.

***

The fact that Justin talked in his sleep became common knowledge among the other members of Nsync quick enough. It was actually pretty funny most of the time, figuring out what Justin was saying, speculating on what he was dreaming about. Of course, Justin denied that he talked in his sleep. No way did he discuss the stock market or the length of Melinda's hair during the night. Justin refused to believe it, until Chris taped him, then played it back of Justin the next morning.

"What's that?" Justin had asked, eying the tape recorder with trepidation.

Chris pushed a button. "You, infant," he said, sitting back in the bus seat with a satisfied smirk on his face.

Justin scowled as the tape played and he heard his own voice. "No no no I said the pigs can't drive a stick shift it has to be automatic."

After that, Justin believed them, and they all pretty much grew used to Justin talking as he slept.

It was only when he started walking when he slept that really worried everyone.

At first, no one realized Justin was doing it. If he woke up in the bus lounge instead of his bunk, it didn't seem that strange. All of them, at one time or another, had gotten up at night for the bathroom, or a drink, and had then fallen asleep in the lounge. The realization that Justin was actually walking in his sleep came after Chris found him one night, brushing his teeth.

"Dude, let me in there," Chris had said, shifting uncomfortably outside the door of the bathroom.

Justin ignored him and continued to brush.

Chris moved into the small bathroom, intent on shoving Justin out when he realized Justin's eyes were closed. Forgetting his need to pee, Chris watched in fascination as Justin brushed, rinsed, and spit, then moved past Chris without ever speaking or opening his eyes. He watched as Justin finally climbed into his bunk, pulling the curtain closed.

"He's been doing that for a while now."

Chris jumped as JC's voice sounded behind him. "Was he asleep?" Chris asked, going into the bathroom and finally peeing.

"Yes," JC confirmed. "He made himself a sandwich last night, ate it, then went back to bed, all with his eyes closed."

"That's pretty strange, JC."

JC nodded. "Let's hope it's just being cooped up on the bus that's causing it."

But the sleepwalking continued, even when they were in hotels. They found Justin getting ice, playing the piano in the empty bar, and once, coming dangerously close to the edge of the pool. It didn't matter if there was a bodyguard outside his door or not. If one of them kept Justin from leaving his hotel room, Justin would just go outside on his balcony and play the guitar or smoke if he couldn't go out the front door. And once, scaring them all to high Heaven, he was seen shimming down the balcony and climbing into the bus.

The boys finally decided to take turns staying in the same room with him. But even then, he managed to escape. On Chris' watch, they found him sitting in the lobby, surrounded by girls and cameras (Lonnie managed to get the film away). On Lance's watch, Justin was found in the Laundromat, washing his clothes. And on Joey's watch, he'd actually gone out, gotten a groupie, then led her to Joey's room, only to stand outside after putting

her in Joey's bed.

Only with JC did Justin stay put.

So Justin stayed with JC the rest of the of the tour through Germany.

"Sorry about this, C," Justin said, climbing into bed in JC's room.

JC shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Justin," he said. "If it helps you, that's all that matters."

"Yeah, but aren't I, uh, cramping your style?"

JC snorted a laugh. "I don't have a style to cramp, J." JC punched his pillow and snuggled into his bed. "You're not bothering anything."

Justin accepted that, falling asleep quickly. JC stayed awake a bit longer, making sure Justin was settled in for the night, then he, too, fell asleep...

...only to wake up later with Justin in his bed. JC shifted away a bit from Justin's ass as it nestled in his crotch. Talk about cramping my style, he thought, willing his erection away as Justin snuggled closer. This had happened since the first night Justin stayed with JC. He always ended up in JC’s bed. The first night, JC had jumped up, shocked and soaked, his heart pounding. But Justin had stayed asleep, not realizing he’d moved beds, not ever figuring out that JC had come during the night. He hadn’t told the other guys about Justin getting into bed with him.

Just as he’d never told the other guys…or Justin…that he was in love with the younger man. Some things just didn’t need to be discussed, they were just accepted. Like the sun rising every day, JC was in love with Justin. So, JC slept every night, knowing Justin would eventually crawl into his bed. JC just accepted it, and had managed since that first night to keep control of his desires and his sperm.

Slowly, JC moved across the bed and rose, watching as a frown crossed Justin's young face, wishing things were different, knowing they weren't. Sighing, JC moved around his bed to lay down in Justin's empty bed, thinking it was going to be a long night indeed.

***

The end of the tour saw the end of JC’s protection of Justin, but as they soon found out, not the end of Justin’s sleep walking. Trace found Justin watering the lawn. His mom found him making eggs.

But when he was discovered on JC’s front porch, everyone realized he needed some kind of help. The thought of Justin driving while asleep scared everyone so much, including Justin, that he agreed to a sleep study.

“I feel like Frankenstein,” Justin said, tugging on the electrodes attached to his head.

“You look like him, too,” JC joked, earning a glare from Justin. “Relax, J. It’s not so bad.”

Justin yawned broadly. “Maybe not,” he said, closing his tired eyes. The clinic had requested he stay awake for 24 hours before the sleep test, and it was catching up with him. “But what if there’s something really wrong with me?” he asked, JC, worry tingeing his voice.

“There’s not,” JC said, covering Justin’s hand with his own. “You had an MRI, and a CATSCAN, and they didn’t find anything bad.” JC patted Justin’s hand. “It’s just something with your sleep, that’s all.”

Justin’s fingers curled around JC’s for a moment, and their eyes locked. Justin felt JC’s confidence and strength and nodded. “I’m ready,” he said as the doctor came into the room. “You’ll be close by?”

JC nodded. “Right outside,” he assured Justin before leaving the room.

JC napped in the uncomfortable chair, waiting for Justin to finish. He felt a presence next to him and started when he realized it was Justin, curled in a chair with his head on JC’s shoulder. He looked around, noting the doctors and sleep clinic staff were watching. “How long has he…”

“About 10 minutes,” a man in a white coat answered, writing something on a clipboard. “He stayed in bed for about an hour, then sat up, pulled off all the electrodes, and came right out here.”

“It’s a very interesting development,” another man said, coming to stand next to Justin and lifting his arm to take his pulse.

Justin’s eyelids fluttered open. He looked at JC and smiled, then realized where he was. He looked at his audience, then back at JC. “I did it again, didn’t I?” he asked.

JC nodded.

“Justin, let’s go into my office and talk,” the doctor said.

Justin turned worried eyes to JC. JC nodded again, smiling encouragingly. Justin left.

***

“So, Justin, you’re here because of sleepwalking?” the psychiatrist, Dr. Morgan asked.

Justin shifted uncomfortably on the couch of the doctor’s office. “Uh, yeah,” he agreed. “I, uh, sleepwalk, and the clinic, well, they said there wasn’t anything…I mean, they suggested I come see you.”

“Hmm,” was the reply.

Justin rolled his eyes. Fucking shrink. “So, can I just get some sleeping pills or something, so I don’t do that anymore?” he asked.

“Justin, don’t you think we should figure out why you’re sleepwalking before we treat it?’ Dr. Morgan asked.

Justin shrugged. “I looked it up on WebMD,” Justin said. “It’s cause I’m stressed, and stuff.”

Dr. Morgan smiled indulgently, making Justin squirm again. “But Justin, are you always stressed?”

“Yeah, on tour.”

“But you don’t always sleepwalk, do you?”

Justin thought a moment. “Pretty much…no, wait,” Justin’s face scrunched in concentration. “I don’t sleepwalk when I stay with JC.”

Dr. Morgan raised a knowing brow.

***

JC opened the door, letting Justin inside. “What did the doctor say?” he asked, following Justin into the living room. No one had heard from Justin since his appointment this afternoon. Now, at almost midnight, he shows up at JC’s house.

Justin collapsed onto the couch. “Uh, can I have a beer?” he asked.

“A beer?” JC said, moving to the wet bar and withdrawing a Coors for Justin and one for himself. He handed the can to Justin and watched as the boy popped the top and took a drink. JC hid a smile as Justin grimaced at the taste. “Was what the doctor said so bad?”

Justin shook his head, taking another huge gulp. Hmm, this isn’t so bad, he thought as the cool liquid slid down his throat. “No, it wasn’t bad. Just…something I wasn’t ready to hear, I guess,” he said, taking another big swallow. He finished his can and reached for JC’s, drinking the other man’s beer quickly.

“Hey, slow down on that,” JC said, reaching for the beer. “Have you had anything to eat?”

Justin dodged away, draining the last of the beer. “No, but it’s okay,” he said, standing up, then immediately sitting back down. “No, it snot,” he corrected himself. He smiled sloppily at JC. “It’s you,” he said cryptically.

JC blinked owlishly. “It’s me?”

Justin nodded, his eyes half closed. He leaned close to JC on the couch. “Itsnew,” he said again, leaning his head on JC’s shoulder and emitting a loud snore.

JC slowly moved Justin away from him, laying him back onto the couch. He took the can of beer from his hand and covered him with an afghan. Picking up the phone, JC called Lynn and told her Justin was over with JC, and he was going to stay the night.

***

JC woke later that night to the feel of Justin’s hands on his body. This was new, JC thought, gently pulling the hands away from him, frowning a bit as he met resistance. JC’s eyes shifted to Justin’s face, noting the younger man’s eyes weren’t so much closed as they were…

“Justin!” The boy’s bright blue eyes shot open. He tried to scramble off the bed, but JC’s grasp on his wrist forestalled his leaving. “What…why…what…” JC stammered.

“Let me go, please.” Justin’s voice was a whisper.

“Not before you tell me what you’re doing here…pretending to be asleep,” JC demanded, keeping his hold on Justin’s wrist with one hand and flipping on the light with the other. JC sat up, the sheet pooling at his waist. He noticed Justin’s gaze focus on his bare chest, then the boy’s eyes slid down to JC’s lap. JC suppressed a groan as Justin licked his lips. “Justin!”

“It’s you,” Justin said simply.

JC blinked. “You said that downstairs,” he said. “But I still don’t know what it means.”

Justin picked at the sheet, folding the fabric in his fingers, still avoiding JC’s gaze. “The doctor made me realize something,” he finally said. “He pointed out that I don’t sleepwalk when I’m with you.” Justin looked up at JC through his lashes. “And that means something.”

“It just means you’re safe with me, Justin,” JC said, refusing to allow himself to believe this might happen. “You don’t…you’re not.” He ran a hand over his face. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Do this?”

“This,” JC said, pointing to himself and Justin and the bed. “With me.”

Justin cocked his head. “Don’t I?”

JC’s expression hardened. “Go home, Justin,” he said, rising from the bed. He couldn’t leave though, and looked down as Justin’s hand wrapped itself around JC’s wrist. He felt Justin tug and JC tumbled down onto the bed, almost landing in Justin’s lap. Justin’s face was so close, JC could see each individual eyelash, could make out the specks of gold that were shot though his bright blue eyes. He could feel Justin’s breath ghosting over JC’s face, Justin’s mouth mere inches from his own.

“Don’t I?” Justin repeated, lowering his head those few inches and laying his mouth on JC’s.

The kiss was soft and sweet, a gentle whisper of lips as they both held back, learning each other, finding their way. JC shuddered as Justin’s lips parted, letting him inside. His tongue slipped inside, tasting Justin, drinking from him. He felt Justin’s hand reach up and pull him closer. JC did the same, lifting his hands and anchoring them in the boy’s short curls, letting the kiss expand, deepen, taking Justin’s mouth with a fierceness and hunger and oh…god…Justin…in his bed.

JC pulled away, reluctantly parting their mouths. He looked at Justin; his eyes were closed, his mouth pink and wet, his breathing shallow. So beautiful, JC thought. “Justin, wait,” he said. Justin just shook his head, leaning in for another kiss. JC laughed a bit, pushing Justin away. “Tell me what this means, Justin,” he demanded.

Justin’s opened his eyes. They were pure blue and full of honesty. “I’m in love with you,” he said simply.

JC’s breath caught. “You’re…in love…with me,” JC repeated.

Justin nodded, leaning in and laying his head on JC’s chest. “The shrink helped me realize it,” Justin said simply, snuggling down. “I mean, it’s obvious, right?”

“No, not really,” JC laughed. “But go on.”

Justin shrugged. “That’s it. I don’t sleepwalk when I’m with you because I love you.” He wriggled around the bed, maneuvering himself under the covers. “Also, I sleepwalk to you because I love you.”

“And you learned all that today?” JC asked, half amused at Justin’s acceptance of his love for JC, half totally turned on by the warm boy in his bed.

“Yep,” Justin said. “But deep down, C, I knew it all along.” He looked up at JC, his expression serious. “I love you.”

“But…Justin,” he asked. “How did you know…I mean…what made you think I’d feel the same way?”

“Oh, that was easy,” Justin said, yawning broadly. “You’re not a very good actor, JC. Not to mention I woke up all sticky every time we slept in the same bed.”

JC felt his face blush. “Oh, god…Justin, I’m sorry,” he said.

“Nah, it was okay,” Justin said. “As I said, I knew, deep down, I wanted you.” He looked up at JC again. “Are you going to turn off the light so we can get to sleep?’ he said, snuggling down again against JC’s chest.

“Justin, we’re going to have to talk about this more in the morning,” JC declared. “There’s lots of things to discuss, and there’s your mom, and the guys, and oh, hundreds of details.”

Justin shrugged. “Won’t make any difference,” he said simply. “We belong together. It was just my subconscious knew it before I did.” With that, Justin fell asleep.

JC, on the other hand, stayed awake for hours.



Lisa Chasez Stories
Back Home

Email: whatweallwishfor@yahoo.com