Another boring
meeting with Jive.
Justin had lost count of the number of meetings the group had attended since
they signed with the label. Jive was meeting happy. And if it weren’t for the
pledge the group had made when they jumped labels—that each of them would
attend every meeting so they’d never be screwed again—he and JC wouldn’t
have to be here.
He looked at the others in the group. Joey had fallen asleep with his eyes open,
a trick the others envied. Chris was flirting with Clive’s assistant, Alicia,
and seemed to be making progress with the pretty redhead. Lance, bless him, was
actually interested in the meeting, and would undoubtedly tell the rest of them
what went on. As for JC…he was buried in his notebook, writing furiously,
every once in a while dropping his pen to play an imaginary keyboard on the
table. Watching JC write music was fascinating to Justin. Hell, anything JC did
was fascinating to Justin.
They’d been a “couple” for over five years now, the last two as lovers,
and Justin loved him now more than ever. He knew JC felt the same way. But they
actually went back farther than that…more like seven—or was it eight? —years.
Justin watched as JC paused in his writing, looking up from his notebook and
locking eyes with Justin. He smiled, a soft, sweet smile that tugged at
Justin’s heart. It was the same smile he’d given him all those years ago,
when he turned up at Justin’s house in Tennessee…
Justin kicked a rock, shoving his hands in his pockets. He hated it
here. Well, not really hated it, but he hated school. He loved his family, but
missed being in Orlando. He missed being on the Mouse Club, he missed his
friends, he missed performing.
His mom said it was probably for the best, that he’d had his taste of the
limelight, and now could concentrate on what really mattered, being a kid and
going to school. But Justin wondered why he couldn’t be a kid and still
perform. It was all he ever wanted to do…the thing he did best in the world.
Again he thought of the Mouse club. It had been so much fun. Performing and
singing and dancing and laughing. And all his friends. He missed them so much!
Ryan and Britney and Dale and Tony and JC. Justin sat on the grass. He missed JC
the most. JC had been the big brother he’d never had. During his time on show,
Justin had worshiped JC, and even though it was obvious and probably annoying to
him, JC had never made fun of Justin but had always treated him with affection
and love.
Justin pulled up clumps of grass, throwing the green blades up in the air and
watching them fall back to earth. Justin was fifteen now, and he knew now what
his feelings for JC meant, and knew it was more than brotherly affection. He was
in love with him. And he thought JC might have feel the same way about him. The
last days of the Mouse Club had been filled with emotion, and once, JC had
kissed him. Not long, and not really romantically, but it had been a kiss. On
the lips. They’d both blushed and stammered and given man-hugs after that, but
it was there, between them. And JC wrote to him after they’d parted, even
after he went to California. He’d gotten one from him only last week, even.
One that said he’d see Justin soon, whatever that meant. So now Justin was
stuck in Tennessee, bored out of his mind, and loving someone who was thousands
of miles away.
School was no challenge, he got A’s without even trying. The music program
sucked…one choir, no band, no orchestra. School’s only saving grace was his
placement on the basketball team, though that was now in jeopardy. Justin had
just been suspended from school for mailbox bashing, and the coach and his mom
were discussing what to do about him. It wasn’t his fault there wasn’t
anything else to do in this town, Justin thought. And why the school was
involved he didn’t know, except that he’d bashed the principles mailbox. And
the vice principle’s. And all his teachers. Justin sighed, then laid down on
the grass, throwing an arm over his head.
He heard the crunch of tires on the gravel driveway, and propped himself up,
wonder who was coming to their house. His mom and Paul weren’t due home until
later. He squinted as the sun shone off the car’s window. Justin saw a maroon
mini-van pull up and stop. It was covered in dust. It had Maryland plates.
Justin swallowed hard as the driver’s side door opened.
Justin watched as JC came around the front of the van and stood off to the side,
not walking on the grass. He took off his sunglasses and locked gazes with
Justin. He looked tired and thin. But suddenly, his face broke out into a soft,
sweet smile when he and started walking towards him.
The sound of a
phone ringing brought Justin back to the present. He looked around as everyone
checked their phones, then watched as it turned out to be Johnny’s. The
manager excused himself from the table, giving the rest of the participants a
chance to stretch. Justin watched as JC stood up, link his hands together,
pulled them over his head, then bent to the left, then the right, his shirt
riding up with each movement. His hand itched to touch the exposed skin. JC
caught his eyes and winked at him, jerking his head in the direction of the door.
Justin nodded quickly, and the two men had almost made their escape when Johnny
returned. With a sigh, the lovers resumed their places at the table and the
meeting continued. Justin’s mind wandered to the past again…
“No.”
“But JC…” Justin pouted, trying anything to get the other man to relent.
“I said no, Justin. Please accept that.”
JC and Justin had been having this argument for almost three years. Justin was
ready to take their relationship to the next level—and by next level Justin
meant have sex--but JC stubbornly refused to cooperate. JC has some weird idea
that they needed to wait until Justin was eighteen and legal. But his 18th
birthday was six months away, and he’d already suffered thru three years of
make out sessions and quicky self-given hand jobs. He wanted JC. And he wanted
him NOW.
“Just, it’s important that we wait until you’re legal. Then you can make
the decision yourself.” JC had said this before, but he’d never quite
understood it.
“I know what I want, Josh,” Justin said. “What I want is you. All I’ve
ever wanted is you.”
“You say that now, but you might change your mind.” JC said, moving away
from Justin on the couch.
That was new. Where had this come from? “Jesus, Josh. Why would I change my
mind? I’ve been in love with you my whole life! Why would that change in the
next six months?”
“That’s exactly why, Justin.” JC looked out the window as the miles rolled
by. “You’ve never known anything else except me.”
“I don’t WANT to know anything else.”
“So then we can wait.” JC proclaimed. “If you’re that sure, you’ll
still be sure in six months.”
Justin watched as Lance came back into the lounge area and flopped down on the
couch, lap top opening. JC excused himself to go take a nap. Justin continued to
pout.
“He’s scared, Just.” Lance was typing on his laptop, but spoke to his
friend.
Justin blinked owlishly. JC? Scared? “Of what?”
“Of losing you.” Lance turned to Justin. “He’s scared because you’re
so young. He’s scared because he’s all you’ve ever known and you may find
someone else down the road and leave him.” Justin started to protest but Lance
held a hand up to stop him. “And he’s scared because if you ever did find
someone else, it would kill him.”
Find someone else? Someone other than JC? The idea seemed incredible and even
distasteful to Justin. He could never, ever love someone other than JC. Justin
belonged to him, had since the first day of the Mouse Club.
“Think about it, Justin,” Lance continued. “Then give him a break,
okay?”
Justin sat in the lounge for hours, watching the scenery pass, thinking about JC
and their relationship. Since the day he’d driven up to his house in
Tennessee, JC and Justin had been inseparable. Justin’s mother knew it they
minute she saw them that night, perhaps had always known it. Then the next week
Chris had called, they’d gone to Orlando, and this merry-go-round called *Nsync
had begun. But thru it all, JC and Justin had been together.
Now JC was scared Justin would change his mind? Justin had to find a way to show
JC that he wouldn’t ever change his feelings and the only way he could think
of doing that was by doing what JC wanted. He left the lounge and went to the
bunk area of the bus. He pulled apart the curtains of JC’s bunk and slowly
slipped inside, squirming until JC moved around enough for Justin to plaster
himself against him. Finally, JC woke up and groggily looked down at Justin at
his side.
“Just? What’s up?” JC whispered. “Why are you in my bunk?” Out of
deference to the other guys, they never did this on bus trips, so Justin in his
bunk was truly an odd occurrence.
Justin lifted his head. “I understand, Josh.” He lowered his head again,
holding JC’s thin frame to him. “And I’ll wait until you’re sure of me.”
JC stiffened, then forced Justin to look at him again. “Justin, it’s not
that I’m unsure of you…” His voice trailed off, because that’s exactly
what he was. Unsure of Justin and their relationship.
“I love you, Josh.” Justin again put his head on JC’s chest. “And
you’re never, ever going to get rid of me. I just have to be patient until you
realize that.” His blue eyes shining with unshed tears eyes. “Even if we
can’t have tonight, I do know we have forever.”
“Okay…ten
minute break, then we can finish up and be out of here.”
Everyone blinked as Clive scraped his chair back and left the table. JC and
Justin both watched as the Jive label men and their assistant left the room,
Chris still trailing behind the pretty redhead. Johnny was the next to leave,
giving a stern glance at his talent and a warning that they’d better not leave,
or he’d have Wade work them extra hard next week. The door shut behind him,
the sound rousing Joey. He stretched, scratched, then left the room also. Which
left only Lance. The blonde singer looked at the two lovers, ruefully shook his
head, then walked to the door.
“I’ll stand guard,” he proclaimed. “But nothing that requires undressing,
okay?”
JC and Justin were already reaching for each other, mouths melting, tongues
dancing, hands roaming.
“God almighty, I thought they’d never give us a break,” JC exclaimed,
nibbling on Justin’s ear, making the younger man moan.
“Why did we make that stupid meeting pact, anyway?” Justin complained,
pulling JC closer for another wet, hot kiss. Justin was dying, he was convinced.
He was so hard and wanted JC so bad…and now they still couldn’t leave…but
his hand was pushing between them…a bit more… there…he pressed his
hand over JC’s groin, getting a moan from the older man. Justin started to
unzip JC when his hand was stopped.
“Just…we can’t…they’re right outside the door…”
“Fuck ‘em,” Justin replied. “I want you now…”
“Well, you can’t have me,” JC reluctantly pulled away, putting some space
between them. “At least not here, not yet.” JC went back to his seat at the
table, sitting down before the others entered the room. Justin followed his
lover and looked over his shoulder at his journal.
“What’cha writing?” he asked, trying to pull the book away from JC, but
the older man clasped it close to him.
“A song.” Justin raised a brow. “A song for you.”
Justin held his breath. JC never wrote songs for people. He said he was just
inspired by life, not by anyone in particular. That had never offended Justin;
it was just the way JC was. But to actually have him write a song for Justin…
“Why?” Justin asked softly.
“For your birthday.”
Justin was prevented from responding by the door opening and the others
reentering the room. He kept his eyes on JC as the other man resumed his writing.
Justin tuned out Clive’s voice as he remembered a different birthday…
“…Happy
birthday, to you!” Justin smiled as he blew out the candles on his cake, then
slapped Chris’ hand as he reached in to grab one. He moved out of the way so
Lynn could cut the cake and pass it around.
It was Justin’s 18th birthday. Finally. He could now sign his own contracts,
buy his own house, even vote. He searched the kitchen for that one special pair
of eyes and shivered slightly as he locked on those brilliant blue orbs. And
finally, he would be with the man he loved. He knew what JC was thinking as they
held gazes. They would become lovers tonight, after years of waiting and
watching and wanting. Justin watched as JC’s eyes narrowed and skimmed over
Justin’s body. He watched as JC brought a finger up to his mouth and his
tongue peeked out between his lips to lightly lick the icing off, and Justin
barely contained a groan. Fucking tease, Justin thought. You know what
you’re doing to me, and you’ll pay for it later. JC raised a brow as if
he could read Justin’s mind. Justin nodded. JC smiled. This party couldn't end
soon enough
“Mom, we’re leaving now,” Justin called.
Lynn came to the door to see the band mates off. “Be careful. Who’s
designated driver?” Joey raised a hand. “Good.” She kissed each one of her
boys, then hugged Justin close. “Have a good time, sweetheart,” she said,
pushing them all out side.
The group walked to the two cars parked in the street. No one said a word as
Joey, Chris and Lance got in one vehicle, and Justin and JC the other. JC was
silent during the drive, and Justin also found himself with nothing to say, but
sneaked looks over to JC as he drove. The lights from the on-coming cars made
strange shadows on his face, making the sharp angles even sharper. Justin saw
JC’s breathing was fast and shallow, and his hands were gripping the steering
wheel tightly. Soon they pulled into the driveway at the house JC shared with
Joey, and the two men walked into the front door.
Justin would have screamed in surprise when JC slammed him against the door but
for the fact his mouth was covered by JC’s, devouring Justin’s with a hunger
that knew no bounds. Justin couldn’t touch JC enough. Hair, face, chest,
back…pulling him closer and grinding his hips against JC’s, reveling in the
feel of his engorged cock. Justin sucked in a breath as JC’s mouth left his
and traveled down his throat, licking and biting the exposed skin before once
more clamping down on Justin’s mouth, sucking his tongue into his own, eating
Justin’s mouth as a starved man would food.
Justin felt JC’s hand on Justin’s groin and groaned at the touch. “Oh, god,”
he breathed, pulling his mouth away. “Oh god, Josh, I love you so much…oh
god…” Justin felt cool air on his cock as JC pulled his pants apart and down
his hips. JC grasped Justin’s cock and Justin knew he was close, so close. He
tried to stop it, but after three years of waiting couldn’t wait any longer
and came in JC’s hand.
His eyes got big as his climax poured from him. “Oh, Josh…I’m so sorry!”
Justin buried his head in shame against JC’s shoulder. Oh god…how could he
do that?
JC just smiled. “Shh, baby…it’s okay.” He lifted Justin’s’ face up
to his, wiping the tears that had formed away with his thumb. JC placed soft,
butterfly kisses on Justin’s mouth. “We have all night, my love…we have
forever…”
“Thank god that’s over with!” Chris exclaimed as
Clive and the other’s left the room.
“What’s the matter,” Lance chided him. “You strike out?”
Chris snorted. “I’d like to see you do any better!”
“With one hand tied, Shorty!”
“Uh, guys?” Justin interrupted. “Looks like you both lose.” Justin waved
a hand at the door as Alicia, the pretty redheaded assistant, walked out arm and
arm with Joey.
“Fucking hell!” Chris exclaimed. “How the hell can you compete with a guy
who gets girls even when he’s asleep?”
Lance shook his head. “He’s the king, Chris.” Lance waved to JC and
Justin. “We’ll meet later and I’ll tell you what this was all about,
okay?” He gathered his laptop and papers, then yelped when Chris jumped on his
back.
“Take me to dinner, Lancey!”
“So, what do you want for dinner?” JC asked, then smiled as Justin leered at
him. “I mean food wise, you idiot.”
“Hmm, food wise,” Justin said, walking over and falling into JC’ opened
arms. “Maybe pizza?”
“Okay,” JC agreed.
“And beer, too.”
“All right.”
“Brownies for desert.”
“Sounds good.”
“And then you can sing me my song.”
“No.”
“But JC!”
JC shook his head, moving Justin out of his arms and gathering his notebook.
“No. It’s for your birthday, and you’re not getting it before then.”
“But that’s six weeks away!” Justin protested, pouting.
“Too bad.” JC leaned over and kissed his nose. “You can wait, you’ve
done it before.”
“But if you know I can wait, why can’t I just have it now?” Justin argued.
“Justin.” JC’s voice made Justin pause. “Remember what we always say…”
“Today doesn’t matter…we have forever,” Justin recited.
“Remember that, my love.”
Justin looked at the man he loved more than anything else. It was true, he
thought.
We have forever.