JC sat in the dark room.
Though expecting it, he still started at the knock on his door. He’d decided
not to answer it, giving the impression he was out for the night. If Wade
happened to come by later, he’d deal with it then. But right now, right after
the concert, right after being on stage with Justin again, no. He couldn’t do
it. Couldn’t let Wade touch him and ruin that memory for him.
Because it was all of Justin he had now.
The knocking persisted as a voice called out. “JC? It’s me, Joey.” Knock,
knock. “JC, listen…it’s okay. You won’t be bothered tonight.”
At Joey’s words, JC rushed to the door, struggling with the dead bolt and
throwing it open. “Joey?” His eyes adjusted to the brightness in the hall.
The other man smiled softly. “Yeah, it’s Joey,” he said, entering the room.
“I took care of your problem, JC. You won’t have to deal with it anymore.”
“Joey, no,” JC whispered. “You don’t know what you’ve done.”
Joey smiled, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes as he remembered Wade’s throat
under his hands. He’d given the choreographer a choice—either give up
whatever he was doing to JC and Justin, or give up walking. “I know exactly
what I’ve done,” Joey said simply. “I’ve removed the germ that infected
you and Justin. Now all you have to do is make it up to him, and the Golden
Couple will be back together.”
JC sighed. “It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is,” Joey countered, moving across the room to switch on a lamp.
“Do you love Justin?” JC nodded. “There ya go—simple as that.”
“I love you Joey, and I love you for getting Wade out of my hair, but you have
no idea what you’re talking about,” JC said. “I cheated on Justin, and
he’s never going to forgive me for that.”
“You’re right,” said a voice behind them. JC and Joey both looked at
Justin as he stood framed in the doorway. “I can’t…I won’t. So don’t
even try to tell me JC had some lame ass excuse, because I won’t buy it,
whatever it is.”
JC held his breath, unsure of exactly what Wade might have told Joey.
“Whatever the reason, it’s between you and JC,” Joey said. “I just took
care of the symptom, you two have to fix the disease.” With that, Joey left
the room, closing the door behind him.
The lovers that used-to-be stared at each other across the room. Justin’s eyes
still held a hurt look, still pierced JC with an accusatory glare.
“I don’t want to hear any lies,” Justin said, moving to the door.
Lies? JC thought. He moved quickly and slammed the door shut just as
Justin opened it. He stood in front of Justin, breathing rapidly with, his
indignation rising. “Lies?” he said out loud. “I never told you lies,
Justin,” he bit out. “You never gave me a chance to explain…”
“A chance to explain what?” Justin countered. “That you got fucked by
Wade? Fine.” Justin walked away from JC and sat on one of the hotel chairs,
but popped right up again and paced the room. “Explain,” he offered. “Tell
me why you let that maggot touch you.” He stopped in front of JC “Tell me, explain
to me just why you let him come inside you? Why you let him bang you like a
two-dollar whore?”
“And why I had to give him a blow job last night as well, right?” JC added.
The older man watched as Justin paled at his words, but refused to back down.
“Want to know why I had to do that? Why I had to suck his dick and swallow his
@#%$?” He grasped Justin’s shirt and pulled him close, so close their noses
almost touched. “I did it to protect you, Justin,” JC spat out, finally
pushing Justin away from him. JC sank into a chair, spent of emotion. “I did
it to protect you,” he repeated, softer this time.
“Protect me?” Justin scoffed. “From what?”
“He knows, Justin,” JC said simply. “He knows about ‘Gone.’”
Justin stared at him in disbelief. “What?” Justin stammered. “I don’t…what…I
mean…I have no idea…”
“Stop it,” JC ordered. “I know about ‘Gone,’ too, so don’t even try
to lie about it.”
At JC’s words, Justin crumpled, sliding to the floor next to the bed. “No no
no…you can’t know…you…no, you can’t…” Tears filled the younger
man’s eyes and voice. “I never wanted you to find out, never wanted you to
know what I’d done…” He scrubbed a hand over his face, the motion stopping
as the truth hit home. “You slept with Wade to protect me,” he whispered.
JC watched as Justin curled into a ball on the carpet. He dropped to his knees
and crawled over to him placing a hesitant hand on his back as the boy sobbed.
Justin jumped a bit at the touch, but then maneuvered himself over to JC,
grasping onto JC, pulling the older man close. JC allowed the action, clasping
Justin to him as he cried great, chest heaving sobs against JC’s lap.
Justin, JC had found out, had plagiarized “Gone.” Not only that, but he and
Johnny had paid off the man who actually wrote it when he approached WEG with
the truth. JC had found out by accident, but had never said anything to Justin.
He figured if Justin wanted him to know, he’d tell him. The only hint, the
only sign that JC gave of his displeasure with Justin was his refusal to sing
lead on the song. They’d had a huge argument about it, but JC had been
stubborn, for once not letting Justin pout or bully or cajole JC into getting
his way.
JC figured that Wade had also found out about Justin’s plagiarism by accident,
but the choreographer obviously decided to use it to his advantage. Wade, it
turns out, had had an obsessive desire for JC since the other man had met the
group, but JC had been with Justin, and even if he hadn’t, well, Wade wasn’t
JC’s type.
But when Wade had approached JC with what he knew, threatening to expose Justin
to the industry, to the fans, to the world, JC did what JC always did.
He protected Justin.
Even if that meant sleeping with Wade.
An eternity later, Justin’s crying had subsided, and except for s sniffle now
and then, he was just laying on JC’s lap, the other man’s hand rubbing
softly on Justin’s back. “Justin,” JC said. Justin tensed at JC’s voice.
“Justin, come on…we can’t stay like this forever.”
Justin grasped JC tighter to him. “Yes, we can,” came the muffled response.
“No, we can’t,” JC said, pulling Justin off his lap. “We have to talk
about this.”
Justin picked up the cover of the bedspread and wiped his face. “Do you hate
me?” Justin asked.
“No, I don’t hate you,” JC said. “You made a mistake, that’s all.”
“One that you paid for,” Justin observed. He looked at JC. “Why? Why did
you let…”
“I did what I had to do, Justin,” JC said simply. “I love you, and I’ll
protect you, no matter what.”
“Even if I don’t deserve it?” Justin asked.
JC nodded. “Even if you don’t deserve it,” he agreed. JC rose from the
floor, bringing Justin up with him. He pulled down the bedspread and pushed
Justin into bed. Justin quickly kicked off his shoes and scrambled under the
covers. JC did the same, pulling Justin close to him.
“JC, I’m sorry,” Justin said simply. “I know that doesn’t mean
anything, but I am. And I’m going to announce what I did..”
JC shushed him with a finger on his lips. “It means a lot, Justin,” JC said,
“but you’re not going to say anything to anyone about ‘Gone.’”
“JC I have to,” Justin protested. “I have to tell…”
Again JC shushed Justin, this time with a hard kiss. “Stop it,” he commanded.
“Telling the world won’t make the least bit of difference, except to maybe
make you feel better. It won’t help me, or the group, or anyone else.” JC
pinned him with a look. “We got into this mess because you were selfish and
unthinking, Justin, don’t compound the error by doing the same thing all over
again.”
“You really think I’m selfish?” Justin whispered.
JC looked at Justin. The boy’s eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks tear
stained, his mouth trembling. “Yes, I do think you’re selfish,” JC
answered honestly. “I love you, yes, but I’m not immune to your faults.
You’re selfish and unthinking and arrogant.” He smiled. “But you’re also
loving, gentle and caring. I love all parts of you, the good and the bad. This
just happened to be one of the bad.”
Justin bowed his head. “So…where do we go from here?” he asked.
“Can you forgive me?” JC queried.
Justin’s head snapped up. “Forgive you? For what?”
JC frowned at Justin. “For Wade.”
“Oh, god, Josh,” Justin said, his voice trembling. “You…there’s
nothing to forgive. You…no one’s ever given me what you did. No one, not
even my mom, has ever loved me so much they’d offer…god, Josh…” Justin
reached up and pressed his mouth against JC’s.
The kiss was dry and hard and uncomfortable. It wasn’t so much a kiss as a
plea from Justin, as a way of asking for and giving the forgiveness they both
craved.
JC kissed him back, forgiving Justin, yes, but also forgiving himself at the
same time.
The kiss ended with a sigh. Justin laid his head on JC’s chest, unwilling to
break the peace between them.
JC sensed the tension in Justin. “Shh…relax, baby,” he said, reaching up
to flip the light off and pulling Justin closer. “We’ll work it out tomorrow,
okay?”
Tomorrow they’d face together what they’d both done.
For now, this was enough.