It had been nearly three hours since Dr. Thompson
shared his detailed information about JC’s condition with the group and
Johnny. The blond boy who had cried himself to sleep was startled awake when he
felt a familiar sensation surge through his fatigued body. Justin dazedly opened
his eyes and rubbed them. He could not believe he was fell asleep without
knowing how JC was doing. Upon moving he determined that he was still sprawled
out on the floor exactly where he had been after hearing what the doctor had
told them. The fair-haired boy was leaning against the couch where apparently
Chris had fallen into a restless slumber. He slowly looked around the room and
noticed that he was the only one who had awakened. The rest of the group
including Johnny had fallen asleep in various positions around the room. The
blond's gaze fell upon Lance. Justin was extremely worried about the other
blond, but he seemed relaxed in his slumber. The bass singer was wrapped up in
Joey’s arms sleeping comfortably sideways on the couch. Justin smiled,
thoughtfully. The youngest group member was exceedingly appreciative of Joey and
Chris. The two of them were trying their best to be strong for himself and Lance,
and Justin swore it would not go unnoticed. He looked for Johnny and found him
lying across the room near the window. Justin could not be happier about that.
He was not very pleased with their manager right now, because of their recent
disagreement about JC, and the further away Johnny was the better Justin felt.
However, to Justin’s surprise two other people were in the room with them.
Sometime during his nap JC’s parents had arrived. He wasn’t expecting them
until later on in the day. They were both huddled together sitting near the door,
sleeping. They must be extremely tired after they’re flight, Justin thought.
I wonder if the doctor has talked to them yet. Maybe I should wake them and ask
them. No, that wouldn’t be a good idea; I’ll let them sleep. Justin
unhurriedly progressed up off the floor and walked in the direction of the
waiting room exit. He casually left the room only he was stopped just outside
the doorway. “Hey, there Justin where're you off to.” “Hmm… oh hey, Wes. I have ta go to the bathroom. Is
that all right?” “Go ahead. It’s right down this hallway, here. Do
you want me to go with you?” Justin laughed a little. “No Wes, you don’t need to
come with me. I think I can handle the short trip without any assistance. But
thank you.” Justin noticed the sad look in Wes’s eyes. He reached out his
hand and placed it on the larger man’s forearm. “You know. I don’t blame
you, Wes. You didn’t know.” Wes nodded his head hiding his tears. Justin
turned away from him giving Wes some privacy and walked toward the bathroom. A few minutes later, coming out of the bathroom the
young pop star nearly runs into Dr. Thompson. “Hey, doc.” “Hey, Justin you’re up. Great. I’ve got good news
for you.” Justin’s eyes widened. He knew it. He thought he felt
something just before waking up. “He’s awake.” “Well, he has regained some level of consciousness,
but he will be fading in and out. We were afraid he wouldn’t come too for a
while.” “You mean like a coma or some thing?” “Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. He’s body has
been through an awful lot and the various surgeries were rough on him as well.
It’s quite common, actually for victims or patients to fall into a coma. It
allows the body adequate time for the healing process. However, thankfully that
doesn’t seem to be the case with JC.” “Can I see him?” Justin's azure eyes were
unconsciously tearing up. “I was actually just on my way to the waiting room to
inform you, but Justin,” the elder man’s voice lowered, “I feel his
parents should see him first, don’t you.” “Yes, of course. I didn’t mean to insinuate…”
Justin stumbled over his words a little embarrassed. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go down there now
and tell his parents shall we.” “Um, doc,” Justin shyly spoke as they began making
their way down the hall.. The doctor stopped and turned his head facing a teary
eye young man, “what is it Justin.” “You didn’t tell them about… you know.” “No, I don’t know.” The doctor placed his hands
defiantly into his pockets. “Umm…” Justin shifted nervously eyes avoiding the
older man. “Justin, if you can’t even admit to yourself that
JC, your best friend, was raped then how are you going to help him. Huh?"
The old doctor removed on of his hands from his jacket and placed it onto the
weary blond's shoulder. "Justin, look at me." Justin's blue gaze moved
from the floor and upon the doctor's. "I know that you care for JC deeply."
"But... how do you know that?" Justin asked
stunned. "I can just tell, young man." "But...I..." a small blush crept acrossed his
cheeks. "Don't worry about it. There’s nothing wrong
with the way you feel. It’s,” he paused, “it isn’t wrong for you to care
for JC like you do. He’ll need that from you.” "I do care for him deeply, and now more than ever.
I mean. I almost… I almost lost him." Justin’s voice was now a mere
whisper. "Yes, that’s a very scary thing to experience,
but Justin you need to accept what happened to him. You can’t keep your
thoughts and feelings locked you inside you." "I'm trying, doctor. It's just that I really can't
believe it happened. If I hadn't seen it with mine own eyes I would’ve never
believed it." "Well, you’ll need to try harder for JC’s sake.
You need to come to terms with it, because if you can't admit that he was raped,
how is he going to? How do think that will make him feel? That his best friend
won’t acknowledge or is to ashamed to accept what was done to him.” The
doctor tightened his grip, “He's going to need you very much and he'll be in
enough denial without you doing it too. If you’re able to accept what happened
and treat him normally, then it may help him deal with the rape and assault. JC
will need people around him who won't see him as being weak or less manly
because of what happened. He will need your strength, your guidance, Justin. Are
you willing to give it to him?” “I…Did… Okay.” Justin gathered his emotions.
“Ummm… so did you tell them? Did you tell his parents that he was r…rrraped?”
“No, Justin. I didn’t,” Dr. Thompson said in a
soft and caring voice. He was proud of the young man for being able to say the
word out loud. “Johnny notified me that JC’s parents were not to be informed
as to what exactly happened and that they shouldn’t know the entire truth.
Your manager feels that it would be better if JC determined when the time was
right.” “But isn’t that just adding to the denial, doctor.”
Justin stuttered and looked down at the floor ashamed that Johnny wouldn't admit
what had happened. “You’re right young man, but I was informed that it
was for the sake of the group that his parents shouldn’t be given that
information.” “You’re kiddin me right.” The doctor shook his
head slowly. “How did you explain the injuries then?” “I told them I was unsure of their causes.” “I’m sorry you had to lie. Johnny shouldn’t have
made you do that.” “I’m sorry too.” The doctor looked down the
hallway, “I suppose we should get going and tell everyone the good news, well,
after you.” Justin and Dr. Thompson walked the short distance
between the restroom and the waiting room. Upon entering the room Justin noticed
that Johnny was no longer there and the rest of the guys were awake. “Hey,
where’s Johnny.” Lance repositioned himself in Joey’s embrace and
answered softly, “He got a phone call from the big wigs, I guess. They want to
know what’s going on. I’ve got no idea what he is gonna tell them, but…”
“Yeah, that ass woke us all up, when his cell phone
went off.” Joey shook his head tiredly, “Doesn’t he know that you can’t
have cells in a hospital.” “So he just left, without even seeing JC.” Justin
couldn’t believe it. “Why would he just leave like that? Doesn’t he care?
What an ass.” “Justin don’t talk like that,” a soft motherly
voice scolded. Justin turned around and hurried over toward the voice. He hugged
the woman tightly against his body, not wanting to let go and cried. Deep heart
wrenching wails echoed through the room. JC’s father placed his arms around
the sobbing boy and around his wife joining the hug. The three of them stood
together crying in each other’s arms. “Ahem,” the doctor cleared his throat. “I’m, sorry,” Justin whimpered into Karen’s
shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll keep an eye on him for you. I’ll
take care of him, I promise. I’m so sorry.” “Justin, it’s all right. It wasn’t your fault,”
Roy said while rubbing Justin’s back. “Ahem,” Dr. Thompson repeated. The three of them finally looked up at the doctor. “I already informed Justin of this, but JC is
semi-coherent right now and it would be wise if you went and saw him now. We'll
be holding off his sedative for about thirty minutes so that you may see him.”
“Can we go right now?” Chris asked. “Yes, but JC’s parents will be going first. If
you’ll follow me.” Dr. Thompson led Karen and Roy Chasez out of the room and
down the hall to see their son. *** Minutes seemed like hours as Roy and Karen visited
their son, but Justin waited patiently. It was rude of him wanting JC's parents
hurrying up their visit, but he wanted to see JC. He needed to know how he was.
He wanted to hear his voice, stare into his eyes and just watch him breath.
Justin closed his eyes as he sat waiting, waiting for Dr. Thompson to show up
and take the four of them to see JC. Fifteen minutes later his patience was
rewarded. Dr. Thompson came into the room. "Well, it's time. Are you all
ready?" "How long do we have with him, doctor?" Chris
asked. "Not long, but enough to let him know that you're
here. He needs to know that." Dr. Thompson led them out of the room just as
he did with the Chasez's. The group of boys and their bodyguards traveled down
the hallway and into an elevator. As the elevator doors closed the doctor spoke
again, "Now, he can't talk and he is extremely weak. He'll barely recognize
any of you due to the level of sedative in his blood stream." The doctor
stared at Justin's reflection in the elevator wall and noticed tears once again
falling from the young man's eyes. "Even if he does recognize you, he won't
have the strength to acknowledge it." "Doctor, why are you telling us this,"
Lance's deep voice hissed. "I just want you to be ready for what you're about
to see. I don't want any surprises that may upset JC. So it's better that you
know what to expect from him and the situation." The elevator halted and the eight men stepped out. They
walked down a narrow hallway turning several times before finally stopping.
"He's in there, but I can only allow one at a time for right now. I'm sorry,”
he looked down at his watch, “but I don't think all of you will get a chance
to visit with him." "Umm... Joey you go first," Justin suggested.
"No, Baby J, should you go." "Yeah, Justin. You should go first."
Lance’s green gaze was filled with intense sadness. “Tell, em we’re all
here and waiting for him to get better.” Justin nodded his head and followed the doctor into the
suite. The room was exceptionally large and almost luxurious with of white
colored carpeting and elegant curtains framing the windows. On the outer edge of
the room was an L-shaped leather couch with recliners on each end. A large glass
table with four captain back chairs was to the left and a bathroom to the right.
In the middle, however, was what reminded Justin of why he was standing in the
room. There lying in a bed surrounded by machines monitoring his condition was
JC. Justin noticed once again the large wire contraption that was set near
JC’s hip and the one that kept the brunette’s jaw together. It looked almost
hideous, repulsive. Justin hesitantly entered the room leaving, not realizing
the doctor exited leaving him alone in the room. Justin’s chest tightened as he slowly walked up
toward the bed and he then leaned against it. The youngest inhaled deeply. All
of JC's injuries appeared seemed worse since the last time he looked upon his
friend, but without a second thought Justin bent down and kissed the worn out
man's forehead. He reached with his right hand and grabbed JC's closest hand
squeezing it. His left hand immediately went into JC’s hair, smoothing it
caressingly as he intimately whispered. "JC, baby. Can you hear me?"
Justin eyes closed desperately willing a response from the older man. “Come
on, C, sweetie. Answer me. Open your eyes or some thing, anything…. please.”
His chest heaved with an emotional gut-wrenching sob. “Please, JC. Just let me
know you can hear me.” Justin opened his eyes, letting them wonder over JC’s
bruised and distressed face. “Just…” Justin’s words were halted as JC's eye gracefully
fluttered open exposing a slit of cloudy steel blue. Words were no longer needed,
when their eyes met. Justin leaned impossibly closer and whispered into the
brunette's ear. "Oh... JC..." he moaned soulfully and continued
petting JC and holding fixedly to his hand. "The doctor said you wouldn't
recognize me. He said even if you did you wouldn't have the strength to respond.
But he doesn't know how strong you are. Does he C? You've got to be strong,"
Justin whimpered, "so strong." The blond felt a small tightening in
their joined fingers. Excitement filling the pit of Justin's stomach, he
gradually brought their entwined hands up toward his lips and tenderly lovingly
kissed the back of JC’s pale one. Again Justin felt JC's grip tighten as tears
cascaded down his face falling onto the exhausted man's covered chest. "I
knew you'd feel me." Justin sniffed deeply, “I feel you,” and stared
earnestly into JC's eye becoming aware of the brunette’s tears. "Baby,
don't cry." He moved their hands against his heart so JC could feel it’s
beating, it’s warmth. The young singer once again leaned in as close as
possible. Ghosting his words caressingly into the exposed ear he whispered,
"I'll take of you, C. I promise." He sniffed again. "I... I love
you." JC blinked his eye trying unsuccessfully to stop the
unrelenting flow of tears and let Justin know that he felt the same way but he
couldn't. All he could do was lightly grasp Justin’s hand, which took all the
strength his body possessed. "I gotta go, baby. The guys are all here waiting
to see you." Justin just held on with all he could, not moving. He
continually stroked the golden matted hair under his trembling hand, just
staring into JC’s entrancing azure eye. Swallowed deep within JC’s soul,
Justin dared not blink afraid he would lose their connection. A small pleading grunt passed JC's lips and he squeezed
harder onto Justin's hand, willing Justin to remain beside him. Pleading with
him to never leave him alone in the dark again. The moment Justin felt JC’s grip tighten slightly but
desperartly against his own, Justin moaned in anguish. He could not hold back
another round of tears and they fell unabridged. Although he didn't want to
leave, he knew it was unfair. The others needed seeing JC as he did. "I
gotta go,” Justin repeated. “The other guys are here to see you too, C.
They've been worried." Justin stroked the uninjured side of JC's face. JC barely nodded and closed his eye leaning as best he
could into Justin's touch. He wanted and needed the contact. Justin giving him
reassurance, confidence and love in just one caress. "I won’t leave you alone again, JC. I promise,
never again, baby." Justin reluctantly and regretfully let go of JC’s
hand and made his way toward the door. He sent a fleeting look over his shoulder
once more and caught JC watching him leave. Justin gave a little wave and
silently left the room. As the door shut behind the blond, he leaned against it
throwing his hands up toward his eyes as he released his pent up emotions,
“No, this isn’t happening,” he gasped. His head shaking in denial, he
gradually slid down the door, curling his legs against his chest and wrapping
his arms round them hugging them. He repeated over and over as he rocked, “no.
Why him? Why God? Why?” Chris rushed over. He knelt down beside his sobbing
friend and placed a hand on the top of his head. “Justin, sweetie, you need to
move away from the door.” The eldest member gently nudged his young friend.
“Come on. Let’s go sit somewhere a lil’ more comfortable.” Chris again
shook Justin hoping it would gain his attention. It worked. The blue-eyed boy
stirred noticing Chris and grudgingly stood up. Chris awkwardly guided his woozy
friend toward the bench and gently sat him down upon it. Chris looked over at
Lance and Joey. “Why don’t one of you go next, I’ll watch the infant.” “Okay,” Joey said. “Tell him, I love him. All right guys,” Chris said
realizing he may not get a chance to see JC. “I will.” Lance opened the door and entered JC’s
room followed closely by Joey. Chris sat down beside Justin and wrapped his arm around
the younger boy. “What happened?” The brunette pulled Justin closer, “Baby
J, what happened in there that’s got you all worked up.” Justin’s gaze lifted and he whispered, “He knew I
was there.” “Justin, I don’t think that’s possible.” “Yes, it is,” Justin’s voice escalated. “J, you must’ve imaged it, cuz, Dr. Thompson said
JC wouldn’t be able to acknowledge our presence even if he did know we were
there.” “NO. Chris you don’t understand. He squeezed my
hand. He cried for me.” Justin’s wide eyes penetrated Chris’s doubt. “He
knew I was there. He could feel me, just like I can feel him.” Oh good grief,
Chris thought, this is gonna be harder than I expected. “Look, kid.
Your mind’s playing tricks on you. JC is in no condition to do any of what you
just said.” Chris cautiously reached for Justin’s arms. The oldest member
had a feeling; if Justin were going to freak it would be now. “Maybe you only
saw what your brain wanted you to see.” The blond’s eyes were filled with horror, “You’re
wrong,” Justin screamed and began struggling. “You weren’t there, you
don’t know.” “J, you need to calm down.” Chris looked down the
hallway trying to find a nurse. “Hey…hey listen to me.” Justin shook his
head. “Damn it Justin. When was the last time you took your medication?” “I don’t fucking need those things,” Justin said
as he gasped for air. “Bull shit. Now just calm the fuck down.” “No, you don’t know what I saw, what I felt and
fuck you for thinking otherwise.” Justin tried standing up but Chris’s hold
was stronger than he thought. He wasn’t budging at least not without a fight.
“Let go.” “Justin, I need you to just stay put and relax.
Breath for me.” Chris pleaded. God damn it where the fuck is the nurse when
you need her sorry ass. “I could show you.” Justin’s teeth were clenched
jaw tight, “If you’d just fucking let go of me. I could show you how he
responds to me, Chris.” “You’re wrong, Justin. Just give it up and stop it
all right. Just stop it.” Chris was becoming angrier by the second. “JC
didn’t respond to you, okay. He is barely alive, now come on stop acting like
a spoiled child and relax.” Chris tried tightening his hold on the flailing
blond, but was finding it more difficult as the seconds ticked by. “Shut up. Just shut the fuck up,” Justin began
wheezing, face paling. “He is alive. He can feel me, Chris. He…he…”
Justin whimpered as Chris felt the tension in the younger boy’s body fade and
then Justin finally passed out. “Shit, hey. Someone help me here.” Dr. Thompson rushed down the hallway as soon as he
heard Justin scream. As he made his way he looked down at his watch. Just as
I thought, Justin is two hours past his medication’s duration. He must be
having another panic attack. He cautiously approached the two young men; one
slouched on the bench the other hovering over the top of the first. He noticed
the other two boys coming out of the room as he passed and gave them a knowing
glare. “What’s goin on, Chris?” Joey asked in a thick
worried laden voice. “Um, I don’t know, man.” Chris answered anxiously.
“I mean one minute he’s fine telling me what happened when he was in with
JC. The next minute he’s telling me to fuck off and throwing a huge hissy
fit.” “It’s another panic attack,” the doctor offered.
“Let’s take him inside JC’s room and put him on one of the couches.” “You think that’s wise. I mean that’s the reason
for the attack, I think, anyway.” “What do you mean, Chris?” Lance asked. “Well, like he was talking about JC and how he
thought JC was responding to him. I basically said he was full of shit and he
got upset.” Chris looked at the doctor, “I think JC and his condition is
what started this whole thing. I don’t think he should be placed in there,”
the brunette huffed while crossing his arms over his chest. “It will only make
things worse.” “No, Chris.” Lance moved toward Chris and leaned
down placing his hand on the older man’s thigh. “I’ll admit, JC didn’t
do a darn thing while Joey and I were in there,” he looked over in the
direction of the doctor needing to explain. “I couldn’t go in there alone,
so Joey went with me,” he moved his stare back at Chris. “But, I think
it’s exactly what Justin needs. He needs to be around JC. If Justin can reach
JC than who are we to stop him?” “Yeah, Chris. You can’t blame JC for what happened
to Justin. He’s unconscious for crying out loud. What’s your problem anyway?”
“Joey, I know that,” Chris answered, “but the
infant thinks that JC can feel him or some crazy shit like that. I just don’t
think its health for J.” “What about JC? Huh,” Lance yelled. “What’s
healthy for him, Chris? You fucking answer that.” Chris did not plan on arguing with Lance and was
thankful when Dr. Thompson stepped in. “For what it’s worth, I think Justin
will be fine in the same room with JC. They seem to have a connection with one
another. I saw it a couple of times. The two tend to calm each other down.”
The doctor looked at Chris who was staring at the wall not meeting anyone’s
eyes. Dr. Thompson had been trying to figure out why the man was hesitating from
the beginning, and why he was actually arguing against putting Justin in the
same room with JC. Something isn’t right here, he thought. “Oh, great. Now the infant has you talking crazy.” “Chris!” “Joey,” Chris mimicked. “Well,” the doctor continued, “I’m going to go
ahead and recommend Justin be placed in the same room, whether you like it or
not Chris. I feel that it will help Justin calm down, and right now that’s
what’s important. I don’t want him having another panic attack, and it will
keep him in one place for the time being. I’ll have one of the orderlies place
a bed in there for him. I don’t think the couches are as comfortable as they
appear.” “Thank you Dr. Thompson,” Lance said softly.
“We’d really appreciate it.” “Your welcome, Lance.” The doctor maneuvered beside Justin, gripped his wrist
and checked his pulse. “Let’s get him out of the hallway and into the room
for now.” Joey walked toward the unconscious form and picked him
up. Lance opened the door and the five of them entered the room. Joey carefully
placed Justin on the couch and kissed his forehead. “You’ll be all right,”
he whispered. “Don’t worry about a thing.” “I’ll be right back with his Valium.” “Wait, Dr. Thompson.” The doctor stopped. “Yes, Joey.” “Why do you have ta give Justin more Valium when he
already unconscious.” “Justin is all ready hours past his prescribed dosage.
Therefore, he doesn’t have enough in his system to help fight off another
panic attack.” “Oh… so he’ll need to take Valium for like the
rest of his life.” Dr. Thompson smiled. “No Joey. Only until we’re
sure he is stable enough to be weaned off it. It is a very addictive sedative so
the less time he is on it the better.” “Okay. Sorry for asking such a stupid question.” “Joey,” Lance whispered, “it wasn’t stupid.” “He’s right. Now if one of you wouldn’t mind
coming with me to get his prescription filled. I would greatly appreciate it.”
“Sure,” Chris answered anxiously. He wanted
desperately out of the room and Dr. Thompson’s offer was his opportunity. “Chris?” Lance spoke. “You haven’t seen JC yet.
Don’t you want to?” “Hey, look Lance, I can see JC just fine where I’m
at. I don’t need to be right next to him. Besides, he doesn’t even know
we’re here anyway.” “But… but I don’t understand,” Lance breathed
out slowly. “Why don’t you want to see him?” “Just drop it okay,” Chris nearly yelled as he
sauntered in the direction of the door, “Come on, doc.” The two left the
room without another word. “Wow.” “Yeah, Joey. Wow.” Lance looked pitifully toward
JC’s bed, “I can’t believe Chris didn’t want to say anything. He
didn’t even want to see him.” Joey moved closer toward Lance. “Well, we each have
our own way with dealing with what happened, Lance. We can’t expect Chris to
have the same reaction as the both of us.” “Joey, he didn’t even want to be in the same room
as JC. Why?” A tear made its way down the bass singers cheek. “What did JC
do to deserve this treatment from Chris?” “I don’t know Scoop.” Joey’s arm slid around
Lance’s waist and squeezed. “We just need to give Chris a little more time
to adjust to the situation.” He kissed Lance’s cheek, “Can you do that?”
“Yeah, I guess.” They both sat down on the couch still held together by
Joey’s arm and stared at JC’s unmoving form with tears flowing from their
eyes. Chris followed the doctor around the hospital as the
older man retrieved Justin’s prescription of Valium. The entire time the
eldest brunette was desperately thinking of a legitimate excuse for not seeing
JC. Jesus, why did Lance have to be so fucking persistent. He looked
so sad when I yelled at him. It's not like he's JC's saviour or anything.
I should've stayed. He felt extremely guilty and felt as if it was his
fault JC was in the hospital right now. The self-imposed blame weighed heavily
upon his shoulder, and seeing JC would only make it worse. I did the right
thing. No, I should've went and talked to JC. I't not his fault. What?
Don't be stupid. Why should I go and speak to a vegetable. I mean he doesn't
even know I'm there. When the sorry excuse for a man wakes up then I can appease
the rest of them and talk to him. What a horrible thing to say. It
wasn’t JC’s fault, it’s yours. A headache began forming in Chris’s
head and he placed his fingers on his temple rubbing out the voices. “Are you okay there, Chris?” “Yeah, doc.” “Is the stress getting to you? Do you need
something?” “Actually, yeah. My head is pounding.” “Well, let me get you something for it. Once you take
the medication, I think it best that you lay down a while to let it work
correctly.” “All right sounds like a good idea.” As the doctor
continued talking the brunette continued with the struggle inside his head. The
head ache was becoming worse with each passing minute and his vision became
blurry. He just wished Dr. Thompson would stop asking him questions. The guilt
he was feeling was bad enough without the good doctor drudging it up. However,
Dr. Thompson abruptly stopped the one sided discussion and Chris was thankful. “Okay, here take these.” Dr. Thompson handed Chris
the pills and a cup of water. Chris took both offered items and quickly gulped
them down. He began drifting away again with his thoughts when Dr. Thompson
addressed him. “We need to get back to Justin and give his pills and this shot
of Valium. You guys will need to make sure he takes them per the
prescription.” “I will.” Chris shyly looked at the doctor,
“Umm…do I have to say in the same room as the others.” “Not if you don’t want to. I’m sure I can find
you something nearby, however.” Yes, perfect.
No, that won’t be necessary. “Umm…no,” Chris fidgeted, “ I
guess I’ll be all right with them.” The doctor stopped Chris with a gentle touch. “Chris
is there something the matter? You seem nervous about spending time with JC.” Tell him. No
don’t. “No, everything is all right, but thank you
for asking.” “Sure thing, but just remember that JC isn’t the
only person who was effected by what happened last night. It’s okay to have
reservations about some things. However, when the time comes you and the rest of
the group will need to be strong for JC.” “What are you saying, doc?” “I’m saying you need to be strong before you can
help JC. There are plenty of professionals in the area that you can talk to, but
you need to talk about it.” “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m
fine.” “Okay, Chris. If you’re sure.” “Yeah, I’m sure.” No I’m not. Yes, I am. The two returned, walking soundlessly into JC’s room.
Dr. Thompson administered the Valium in Justin’s right arm as carefully as
possible. The doctor then began giving the group instructions on how to care for
Justin once he wakens. “When he wakes up be sure that you give him these. He
needs to take one every four to six hours or whenever he feels another panic
attack approaching.” Dr. Thompson turned and handed the bottle of Valium to
Joey. “Now, I’m going to leave you guys. I have my rounds to do. Will you be
all right?” A chorus of yeses were sounded and the doctor was
satisfied. As he walked toward the door he heard Joey ask him a question. “Excuse me doctor, but umm… where’re his parents?
I mean we haven’t seen them since this morning when JC regain consciousness.
Are they okay?” Dr. Thompson turned and faced Joey, “They went back
to their hotel. I told them that the hospital would call if his condition
changes.” “You mean they left!” Lance nearly yelled. “I
can’t believe that. Why would they leave?” the blond’s face was turning a
dark shade of red. “That doesn’t make and sense. It’s their son for fucks
sake.” “Hey, calm down Lance.” “No, Joey. That’s so wrong. How could they just
leave like that?” “Well, I thought it would be for the best,” Dr.
Thompson answered. “I had a feeling that you guys wouldn’t be leaving
anytime soon, even though I think you should go back to your hotel and wait
there, as well.” “You’re right on that account,” Lance said. “Actually, doctor. I think I for one am gonna take
your advice. I’m head back and take that nap you suggested. It’s really
chaotic here and I really need the rest.” “Chris?” “What Lance? I’m not feeling very well, okay. The
doctor was kind enough to give me something for my migrain and he said I needed
rest.” “But you haven’t seen JC, yet.” “I’ll have plenty of time to see him. Right now I
just don’t feel very well.” Chris refused making eye contact with Lance. “But… but, you haven’t’…” “Lance, just leave it alone. I don’t’ think JC is
in any life or death situation anymore and he isn’t even awake. So I’m gonna
have Tiny take me back to our hotel. I’ll be back later. Okay.” Joey stepped in. “Hey, man, no problem. Just get some
sleep all right. Lance and I will stick around here until Justin wakes up and
then I’ll meet you at the hotel.” “Sounds like a plan.” Chris walked over toward Joey
and gave him a hug. However when moved over in the direction of Lance, the
younger man turned away from him, denying him the opportunity for a hug.
“Lance, come on.” No answer. “Lance?” Chris guiltily peered over at Joey
who shrugged his shoulders and then turned his gaze back in the direction of
Lance’s back. “Okay, Lance. I guess I’ll see you in a little while, K.” Lance did not say anything, just focused his interest
on Justin. Chris stared for a few seconds longer, shrugged his shoulders and
walked out of the room. “Lance, why did you ignore Chris?” “Why is he ignoring JC?” Lance shot back. “Joey,
I didn’t ask him to profess his undying love or anything, but he should’ve
acknowledged JC’s situation. I mean you just don’t disregard one of your
best friends especially after something like this.” “You’re right, but like I said, maybe this is his
way of dealing with what happened.” “Or not dealing with it. He can’t discount it,
Joey. It won’t help JC if he doesn’t deal with it himself.” “Well, I don’t know what to do?” “Me either, Joey. Me either.” ______ Justin groggily awoke. His head was still spinning and
his vision blurry. He rolled onto his left and realized he was lying on a bed in
a dark room but he could not quite remember where. He slowly blinked. When he
looked deeper into his surroundings he saw the ominous silhouette of JC’s bed.
Justin blinked again. He did not believe what was in front of him. It must be a
mirage or my imagination, the confused boy thought. He painstakingly pushed
himself up, groaning with the effort and braced his weight onto his left arm. He
used his right hand when he tried rubbing the vision of JC’s sleeping form
from his eyes. JC, however, was still there. Justin did it again, this time
harder more forcefully, but his brunette friend’s form did not disappear. “You’re not dreaming, Justin.” The soft low-pitched voice startled Justin, and he
quickly began scouring the large partially lit room looking for its owner.
“Huh…” he managed muttering. “I’m glad you’re awake, you gave us quite a
scare,” the deep voice continued. “Ww…what?” Justin finally locked eyes with the
speaker. Lance walked across the room toward Justin’s bed and
answered Justin in a quite profound voice. “Everything will be all right,
Justin. You just had another panic attack. This one was a bit worse than your
first one, however. So the doctor decided it would be best if you were allowed
to stay in the hospital. I guess for observational purposes.” The younger boy recognized the person who was speaking
and the voice was like music it calmed him down immediately. “Lance, how long
have I been asleep?” “Actually, quite a long time. Almost eight hours.” “Wow, I guess I was tired, eh.” “To say the least.” “You’ve been here the entire time.” Justin
glanced back over in the direction of JC. “Yeah,” Lance shyly answered. When he observed
Justin’s eye’s wandering he knew what the other boy was thinking. Lance
turned his head around in the direction of JC’s bed. “He hasn’t
reawakened, since you last saw him. The doctor ordered him another one of his
sedatives after you passed out. The nurse just came in and gave him another one
about two hours ago.” Lance sat down on the bed in front of Justin. He placed
his hand on the other blond’s forearm rubbing comfortably, eyes piercing.
“Dr. Thompson said that JC needed his rest in order for him to heal faster. He
said he would be out for the rest of the night.” “Oh… Lance, why am I in here? Where did this bed
come from?” Justin had so many questions he wanted answered. “Well,” Lance spoke softly, “the doctor thought
maybe you’d be better off in the same room as JC.” “He’s right.” Justin gaze roamed over Lance’s
face. “Yeah, I kinda figured that.” “I guess that explains the bed, too.” Justin smiled
weakly and then began anxiously looking around the room. “Hey, where’re Joey
and Chris.” Lance closed his eyes, knowing the whereabouts of his
other two friends would hurt the younger boy. He gathered his courage and as he
spoke his voice quivered, “they left.” “They left,” Justin whispered. “W…why w…would
they leave?” His eyes were wide with disbelieve, shock and on the verge of
tears. “Don’t cry Justin.” Lance quickly scoured his
mind, thinking of something that would calm his friend before another panic
attack struck. “Chris wasn’t feeling very well. He said he was
getting a headache or something and so he left after he found out you were all
right.” “Oh.” “Did he see JC before he took off?” “Um… I don’t think so, but I don’t know for
sure, “ Lance lied. “I see.” Justin dejectedly placed his hands in his
lap and began nervously picking at the blanket. “So what about Joey?” he
sniffed. “Joey left about two hours after that, I think. He
was going to the hotel to check up on Chris.” Lance noticed Justin’s
shoulders tremble. The older boy reached for Justin and pulled him into a hug
and swaying with him gently. Lance did not relish the idea of telling Justin
what Chris said before leaving. Lance was startled when the younger blond spoke
again. “He didn’t believe me. I remember that.” “What? What are you talking about Justin?” “Chris. Chris didn’t believe me when I told him JC
opened his eyes and squeezed my hand.” Justin turned in Lance’s arms
calculating the bass singer’s reaction. A large smile played across Lance’s face. “Well,
Justin. If anyone can reach JC it’s you,” he soothed, petting the unruly
curls. Justin hugged Lance tighter burrowing his now tear
stained face into the other man’s neck. “Thank you Lance. Thank you for
believing me.” “Of course I believe you, why would you lie about
something like that.” “Chris…Chris said I was full of shit. That I only
saw what I wanted to see.” “Justin, I think Chris is having a hard time with
what happened. He wants to believe. I know he does, but it’s just gonna take
him a little while longer, I guess.” “Yeah, you think so.” “Yep, and so does Joey.” Lance let go of Justin and brushed a stray curl from
the younger boy’s eye. “I’m gonna go tell the nurse you’re awake, but
before I go you need to take these.” “What are they?” “Dr. Thompson prescribed them for you. I really
don’t know what they are.” “K.” “Do you need a glass of water?” “No. I’m fine.” Justin took the pills from Lance’s hand and
swallowed them dry. He turned his gaze back toward JC and sighed. “I hope he
wakes up soon.” The bass singer removed himself from the bed. “So do
I, Baby J.” He gently pushed Justin back down into the bed and replaced the
covers over him. “Right now, I think you need some more rest. Just try and
relax and I’ll be back okay.” “Lance,” the older blond glimpsed over his shoulder
as he approached the door. “Will you sleep with me when you come back? I’m
worried about you. I don’t want you by yourself either.” “Sure, Justin. I’ll sleep with you when I come
back.” “Promise.” “I promise.” Lance opened the door and a loud beam of light cascaded
into the dark room. Justin squinted his eyes and situated his arm over his eyes
when his azure orbs were assailed by it. He used the opportunity to look upon JC
and noticed that he was facing in his direction. The blond could vaguely see a
curl in JC’s battered lips. Justin smiled and turned his body in JC’s
direction. The door closed and slowly placed the two boys back into darkness.
But only for a little while longer, Justin thought before he allowed sleep again
to overtake him.