Part 4

Awakenings


It had been nearly three hours since Dr. Thompson shared his detailed information about JC’s condition with the group and Johnny. The blond boy who had cried himself to sleep was startled awake when he felt a familiar sensation surge through his fatigued body. Justin dazedly opened his eyes and rubbed them. He could not believe he was fell asleep without knowing how JC was doing. Upon moving he determined that he was still sprawled out on the floor exactly where he had been after hearing what the doctor had told them. The fair-haired boy was leaning against the couch where apparently Chris had fallen into a restless slumber. He slowly looked around the room and noticed that he was the only one who had awakened. The rest of the group including Johnny had fallen asleep in various positions around the room. The blond's gaze fell upon Lance. Justin was extremely worried about the other blond, but he seemed relaxed in his slumber. The bass singer was wrapped up in Joey’s arms sleeping comfortably sideways on the couch. Justin smiled, thoughtfully. The youngest group member was exceedingly appreciative of Joey and Chris. The two of them were trying their best to be strong for himself and Lance, and Justin swore it would not go unnoticed. He looked for Johnny and found him lying across the room near the window. Justin could not be happier about that. He was not very pleased with their manager right now, because of their recent disagreement about JC, and the further away Johnny was the better Justin felt. However, to Justin’s surprise two other people were in the room with them. Sometime during his nap JC’s parents had arrived. He wasn’t expecting them until later on in the day. They were both huddled together sitting near the door, sleeping. They must be extremely tired after they’re flight, Justin thought. I wonder if the doctor has talked to them yet. Maybe I should wake them and ask them. No, that wouldn’t be a good idea; I’ll let them sleep. Justin unhurriedly progressed up off the floor and walked in the direction of the waiting room exit. He casually left the room only he was stopped just outside the doorway.

“Hey, there Justin where're you off to.”

“Hmm… oh hey, Wes. I have ta go to the bathroom. Is that all right?”

“Go ahead. It’s right down this hallway, here. Do you want me to go with you?”

Justin laughed a little. “No Wes, you don’t need to come with me. I think I can handle the short trip without any assistance. But thank you.” Justin noticed the sad look in Wes’s eyes. He reached out his hand and placed it on the larger man’s forearm. “You know. I don’t blame you, Wes. You didn’t know.” Wes nodded his head hiding his tears. Justin turned away from him giving Wes some privacy and walked toward the bathroom.

A few minutes later, coming out of the bathroom the young pop star nearly runs into Dr. Thompson. “Hey, doc.”

“Hey, Justin you’re up. Great. I’ve got good news for you.”

Justin’s eyes widened. He knew it. He thought he felt something just before waking up. “He’s awake.”

“Well, he has regained some level of consciousness, but he will be fading in and out. We were afraid he wouldn’t come too for a while.”

“You mean like a coma or some thing?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. He’s body has been through an awful lot and the various surgeries were rough on him as well. It’s quite common, actually for victims or patients to fall into a coma. It allows the body adequate time for the healing process. However, thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the case with JC.”

“Can I see him?” Justin's azure eyes were unconsciously tearing up.

“I was actually just on my way to the waiting room to inform you, but Justin,” the elder man’s voice lowered, “I feel his parents should see him first, don’t you.”

“Yes, of course. I didn’t mean to insinuate…” Justin stumbled over his words a little embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s go down there now and tell his parents shall we.”

“Um, doc,” Justin shyly spoke as they began making their way down the hall..

The doctor stopped and turned his head facing a teary eye young man, “what is it Justin.”

“You didn’t tell them about… you know.”

“No, I don’t know.” The doctor placed his hands defiantly into his pockets.

“Umm…” Justin shifted nervously eyes avoiding the older man.

“Justin, if you can’t even admit to yourself that JC, your best friend, was raped then how are you going to help him. Huh?" The old doctor removed on of his hands from his jacket and placed it onto the weary blond's shoulder. "Justin, look at me." Justin's blue gaze moved from the floor and upon the doctor's. "I know that you care for JC deeply."

"But... how do you know that?" Justin asked stunned.

"I can just tell, young man."

"But...I..." a small blush crept acrossed his cheeks.

"Don't worry about it. There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel. It’s,” he paused, “it isn’t wrong for you to care for JC like you do. He’ll need that from you.”

"I do care for him deeply, and now more than ever. I mean. I almost… I almost lost him." Justin’s voice was now a mere whisper.

"Yes, that’s a very scary thing to experience, but Justin you need to accept what happened to him. You can’t keep your thoughts and feelings locked you inside you."

"I'm trying, doctor. It's just that I really can't believe it happened. If I hadn't seen it with mine own eyes I would’ve never believed it."

"Well, you’ll need to try harder for JC’s sake. You need to come to terms with it, because if you can't admit that he was raped, how is he going to? How do think that will make him feel? That his best friend won’t acknowledge or is to ashamed to accept what was done to him.” The doctor tightened his grip, “He's going to need you very much and he'll be in enough denial without you doing it too. If you’re able to accept what happened and treat him normally, then it may help him deal with the rape and assault. JC will need people around him who won't see him as being weak or less manly because of what happened. He will need your strength, your guidance, Justin. Are you willing to give it to him?”

“I…Did… Okay.” Justin gathered his emotions. “Ummm… so did you tell them? Did you tell his parents that he was r…rrraped?”

“No, Justin. I didn’t,” Dr. Thompson said in a soft and caring voice. He was proud of the young man for being able to say the word out loud. “Johnny notified me that JC’s parents were not to be informed as to what exactly happened and that they shouldn’t know the entire truth. Your manager feels that it would be better if JC determined when the time was right.”

“But isn’t that just adding to the denial, doctor.” Justin stuttered and looked down at the floor ashamed that Johnny wouldn't admit what had happened.

“You’re right young man, but I was informed that it was for the sake of the group that his parents shouldn’t be given that information.”

“You’re kiddin me right.” The doctor shook his head slowly. “How did you explain the injuries then?”

“I told them I was unsure of their causes.”

“I’m sorry you had to lie. Johnny shouldn’t have made you do that.”

“I’m sorry too.” The doctor looked down the hallway, “I suppose we should get going and tell everyone the good news, well, after you.”

Justin and Dr. Thompson walked the short distance between the restroom and the waiting room. Upon entering the room Justin noticed that Johnny was no longer there and the rest of the guys were awake. “Hey, where’s Johnny.”

Lance repositioned himself in Joey’s embrace and answered softly, “He got a phone call from the big wigs, I guess. They want to know what’s going on. I’ve got no idea what he is gonna tell them, but…”

“Yeah, that ass woke us all up, when his cell phone went off.” Joey shook his head tiredly, “Doesn’t he know that you can’t have cells in a hospital.”

“So he just left, without even seeing JC.” Justin couldn’t believe it. “Why would he just leave like that? Doesn’t he care? What an ass.”

“Justin don’t talk like that,” a soft motherly voice scolded. Justin turned around and hurried over toward the voice. He hugged the woman tightly against his body, not wanting to let go and cried. Deep heart wrenching wails echoed through the room. JC’s father placed his arms around the sobbing boy and around his wife joining the hug. The three of them stood together crying in each other’s arms.

“Ahem,” the doctor cleared his throat.

“I’m, sorry,” Justin whimpered into Karen’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll keep an eye on him for you. I’ll take care of him, I promise. I’m so sorry.”

“Justin, it’s all right. It wasn’t your fault,” Roy said while rubbing Justin’s back.

“Ahem,” Dr. Thompson repeated.

The three of them finally looked up at the doctor.

“I already informed Justin of this, but JC is semi-coherent right now and it would be wise if you went and saw him now. We'll be holding off his sedative for about thirty minutes so that you may see him.”

“Can we go right now?” Chris asked.

“Yes, but JC’s parents will be going first. If you’ll follow me.” Dr. Thompson led Karen and Roy Chasez out of the room and down the hall to see their son.

***

Minutes seemed like hours as Roy and Karen visited their son, but Justin waited patiently. It was rude of him wanting JC's parents hurrying up their visit, but he wanted to see JC. He needed to know how he was. He wanted to hear his voice, stare into his eyes and just watch him breath. Justin closed his eyes as he sat waiting, waiting for Dr. Thompson to show up and take the four of them to see JC. Fifteen minutes later his patience was rewarded. Dr. Thompson came into the room. "Well, it's time. Are you all ready?"

"How long do we have with him, doctor?" Chris asked.

"Not long, but enough to let him know that you're here. He needs to know that." Dr. Thompson led them out of the room just as he did with the Chasez's. The group of boys and their bodyguards traveled down the hallway and into an elevator. As the elevator doors closed the doctor spoke again, "Now, he can't talk and he is extremely weak. He'll barely recognize any of you due to the level of sedative in his blood stream." The doctor stared at Justin's reflection in the elevator wall and noticed tears once again falling from the young man's eyes. "Even if he does recognize you, he won't have the strength to acknowledge it."

"Doctor, why are you telling us this," Lance's deep voice hissed.

"I just want you to be ready for what you're about to see. I don't want any surprises that may upset JC. So it's better that you know what to expect from him and the situation."

The elevator halted and the eight men stepped out. They walked down a narrow hallway turning several times before finally stopping. "He's in there, but I can only allow one at a time for right now. I'm sorry,” he looked down at his watch, “but I don't think all of you will get a chance to visit with him."

"Umm... Joey you go first," Justin suggested.

"No, Baby J, should you go."

"Yeah, Justin. You should go first." Lance’s green gaze was filled with intense sadness. “Tell, em we’re all here and waiting for him to get better.”

Justin nodded his head and followed the doctor into the suite. The room was exceptionally large and almost luxurious with of white colored carpeting and elegant curtains framing the windows. On the outer edge of the room was an L-shaped leather couch with recliners on each end. A large glass table with four captain back chairs was to the left and a bathroom to the right. In the middle, however, was what reminded Justin of why he was standing in the room. There lying in a bed surrounded by machines monitoring his condition was JC. Justin noticed once again the large wire contraption that was set near JC’s hip and the one that kept the brunette’s jaw together. It looked almost hideous, repulsive. Justin hesitantly entered the room leaving, not realizing the doctor exited leaving him alone in the room.

Justin’s chest tightened as he slowly walked up toward the bed and he then leaned against it. The youngest inhaled deeply. All of JC's injuries appeared seemed worse since the last time he looked upon his friend, but without a second thought Justin bent down and kissed the worn out man's forehead. He reached with his right hand and grabbed JC's closest hand squeezing it. His left hand immediately went into JC’s hair, smoothing it caressingly as he intimately whispered. "JC, baby. Can you hear me?" Justin eyes closed desperately willing a response from the older man. “Come on, C, sweetie. Answer me. Open your eyes or some thing, anything…. please.” His chest heaved with an emotional gut-wrenching sob. “Please, JC. Just let me know you can hear me.” Justin opened his eyes, letting them wonder over JC’s bruised and distressed face. “Just…”

Justin’s words were halted as JC's eye gracefully fluttered open exposing a slit of cloudy steel blue. Words were no longer needed, when their eyes met. Justin leaned impossibly closer and whispered into the brunette's ear. "Oh... JC..." he moaned soulfully and continued petting JC and holding fixedly to his hand. "The doctor said you wouldn't recognize me. He said even if you did you wouldn't have the strength to respond. But he doesn't know how strong you are. Does he C? You've got to be strong," Justin whimpered, "so strong." The blond felt a small tightening in their joined fingers. Excitement filling the pit of Justin's stomach, he gradually brought their entwined hands up toward his lips and tenderly lovingly kissed the back of JC’s pale one. Again Justin felt JC's grip tighten as tears cascaded down his face falling onto the exhausted man's covered chest. "I knew you'd feel me." Justin sniffed deeply, “I feel you,” and stared earnestly into JC's eye becoming aware of the brunette’s tears. "Baby, don't cry." He moved their hands against his heart so JC could feel it’s beating, it’s warmth. The young singer once again leaned in as close as possible. Ghosting his words caressingly into the exposed ear he whispered, "I'll take of you, C. I promise." He sniffed again. "I... I love you."

JC blinked his eye trying unsuccessfully to stop the unrelenting flow of tears and let Justin know that he felt the same way but he couldn't. All he could do was lightly grasp Justin’s hand, which took all the strength his body possessed.

"I gotta go, baby. The guys are all here waiting to see you." Justin just held on with all he could, not moving. He continually stroked the golden matted hair under his trembling hand, just staring into JC’s entrancing azure eye. Swallowed deep within JC’s soul, Justin dared not blink afraid he would lose their connection.

A small pleading grunt passed JC's lips and he squeezed harder onto Justin's hand, willing Justin to remain beside him. Pleading with him to never leave him alone in the dark again.

The moment Justin felt JC’s grip tighten slightly but desperartly against his own, Justin moaned in anguish. He could not hold back another round of tears and they fell unabridged. Although he didn't want to leave, he knew it was unfair. The others needed seeing JC as he did. "I gotta go,” Justin repeated. “The other guys are here to see you too, C. They've been worried." Justin stroked the uninjured side of JC's face.

JC barely nodded and closed his eye leaning as best he could into Justin's touch. He wanted and needed the contact. Justin giving him reassurance, confidence and love in just one caress.

"I won’t leave you alone again, JC. I promise, never again, baby." Justin reluctantly and regretfully let go of JC’s hand and made his way toward the door. He sent a fleeting look over his shoulder once more and caught JC watching him leave. Justin gave a little wave and silently left the room.

As the door shut behind the blond, he leaned against it throwing his hands up toward his eyes as he released his pent up emotions, “No, this isn’t happening,” he gasped. His head shaking in denial, he gradually slid down the door, curling his legs against his chest and wrapping his arms round them hugging them. He repeated over and over as he rocked, “no. Why him? Why God? Why?”

Chris rushed over. He knelt down beside his sobbing friend and placed a hand on the top of his head. “Justin, sweetie, you need to move away from the door.” The eldest member gently nudged his young friend. “Come on. Let’s go sit somewhere a lil’ more comfortable.” Chris again shook Justin hoping it would gain his attention. It worked. The blue-eyed boy stirred noticing Chris and grudgingly stood up. Chris awkwardly guided his woozy friend toward the bench and gently sat him down upon it. Chris looked over at Lance and Joey. “Why don’t one of you go next, I’ll watch the infant.”

“Okay,” Joey said.

“Tell him, I love him. All right guys,” Chris said realizing he may not get a chance to see JC.

“I will.” Lance opened the door and entered JC’s room followed closely by Joey.

Chris sat down beside Justin and wrapped his arm around the younger boy. “What happened?” The brunette pulled Justin closer, “Baby J, what happened in there that’s got you all worked up.”

Justin’s gaze lifted and he whispered, “He knew I was there.”

“Justin, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Yes, it is,” Justin’s voice escalated.

“J, you must’ve imaged it, cuz, Dr. Thompson said JC wouldn’t be able to acknowledge our presence even if he did know we were there.”

“NO. Chris you don’t understand. He squeezed my hand. He cried for me.” Justin’s wide eyes penetrated Chris’s doubt. “He knew I was there. He could feel me, just like I can feel him.”

Oh good grief, Chris thought, this is gonna be harder than I expected. “Look, kid. Your mind’s playing tricks on you. JC is in no condition to do any of what you just said.” Chris cautiously reached for Justin’s arms. The oldest member had a feeling; if Justin were going to freak it would be now. “Maybe you only saw what your brain wanted you to see.”

The blond’s eyes were filled with horror, “You’re wrong,” Justin screamed and began struggling. “You weren’t there, you don’t know.”

“J, you need to calm down.” Chris looked down the hallway trying to find a nurse. “Hey…hey listen to me.” Justin shook his head. “Damn it Justin. When was the last time you took your medication?”

“I don’t fucking need those things,” Justin said as he gasped for air.

“Bull shit. Now just calm the fuck down.”

“No, you don’t know what I saw, what I felt and fuck you for thinking otherwise.” Justin tried standing up but Chris’s hold was stronger than he thought. He wasn’t budging at least not without a fight. “Let go.”

“Justin, I need you to just stay put and relax. Breath for me.” Chris pleaded. God damn it where the fuck is the nurse when you need her sorry ass.

“I could show you.” Justin’s teeth were clenched jaw tight, “If you’d just fucking let go of me. I could show you how he responds to me, Chris.”

“You’re wrong, Justin. Just give it up and stop it all right. Just stop it.” Chris was becoming angrier by the second. “JC didn’t respond to you, okay. He is barely alive, now come on stop acting like a spoiled child and relax.” Chris tried tightening his hold on the flailing blond, but was finding it more difficult as the seconds ticked by.

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up,” Justin began wheezing, face paling. “He is alive. He can feel me, Chris. He…he…” Justin whimpered as Chris felt the tension in the younger boy’s body fade and then Justin finally passed out.

“Shit, hey. Someone help me here.”

Dr. Thompson rushed down the hallway as soon as he heard Justin scream. As he made his way he looked down at his watch. Just as I thought, Justin is two hours past his medication’s duration. He must be having another panic attack. He cautiously approached the two young men; one slouched on the bench the other hovering over the top of the first. He noticed the other two boys coming out of the room as he passed and gave them a knowing glare.

“What’s goin on, Chris?” Joey asked in a thick worried laden voice.

“Um, I don’t know, man.” Chris answered anxiously. “I mean one minute he’s fine telling me what happened when he was in with JC. The next minute he’s telling me to fuck off and throwing a huge hissy fit.”

“It’s another panic attack,” the doctor offered. “Let’s take him inside JC’s room and put him on one of the couches.”

“You think that’s wise. I mean that’s the reason for the attack, I think, anyway.”

“What do you mean, Chris?” Lance asked.

“Well, like he was talking about JC and how he thought JC was responding to him. I basically said he was full of shit and he got upset.” Chris looked at the doctor, “I think JC and his condition is what started this whole thing. I don’t think he should be placed in there,” the brunette huffed while crossing his arms over his chest. “It will only make things worse.”

“No, Chris.” Lance moved toward Chris and leaned down placing his hand on the older man’s thigh. “I’ll admit, JC didn’t do a darn thing while Joey and I were in there,” he looked over in the direction of the doctor needing to explain. “I couldn’t go in there alone, so Joey went with me,” he moved his stare back at Chris. “But, I think it’s exactly what Justin needs. He needs to be around JC. If Justin can reach JC than who are we to stop him?”

“Yeah, Chris. You can’t blame JC for what happened to Justin. He’s unconscious for crying out loud. What’s your problem anyway?”

“Joey, I know that,” Chris answered, “but the infant thinks that JC can feel him or some crazy shit like that. I just don’t think its health for J.”

“What about JC? Huh,” Lance yelled. “What’s healthy for him, Chris? You fucking answer that.”

Chris did not plan on arguing with Lance and was thankful when Dr. Thompson stepped in. “For what it’s worth, I think Justin will be fine in the same room with JC. They seem to have a connection with one another. I saw it a couple of times. The two tend to calm each other down.” The doctor looked at Chris who was staring at the wall not meeting anyone’s eyes. Dr. Thompson had been trying to figure out why the man was hesitating from the beginning, and why he was actually arguing against putting Justin in the same room with JC. Something isn’t right here, he thought.

“Oh, great. Now the infant has you talking crazy.”

“Chris!”

“Joey,” Chris mimicked.

“Well,” the doctor continued, “I’m going to go ahead and recommend Justin be placed in the same room, whether you like it or not Chris. I feel that it will help Justin calm down, and right now that’s what’s important. I don’t want him having another panic attack, and it will keep him in one place for the time being. I’ll have one of the orderlies place a bed in there for him. I don’t think the couches are as comfortable as they appear.”

“Thank you Dr. Thompson,” Lance said softly. “We’d really appreciate it.”

“Your welcome, Lance.”

The doctor maneuvered beside Justin, gripped his wrist and checked his pulse. “Let’s get him out of the hallway and into the room for now.”

Joey walked toward the unconscious form and picked him up. Lance opened the door and the five of them entered the room. Joey carefully placed Justin on the couch and kissed his forehead. “You’ll be all right,” he whispered. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

“I’ll be right back with his Valium.”

“Wait, Dr. Thompson.”

The doctor stopped. “Yes, Joey.”

“Why do you have ta give Justin more Valium when he already unconscious.”

“Justin is all ready hours past his prescribed dosage. Therefore, he doesn’t have enough in his system to help fight off another panic attack.”

“Oh… so he’ll need to take Valium for like the rest of his life.”

Dr. Thompson smiled. “No Joey. Only until we’re sure he is stable enough to be weaned off it. It is a very addictive sedative so the less time he is on it the better.”

“Okay. Sorry for asking such a stupid question.”

“Joey,” Lance whispered, “it wasn’t stupid.”

“He’s right. Now if one of you wouldn’t mind coming with me to get his prescription filled. I would greatly appreciate it.”

“Sure,” Chris answered anxiously. He wanted desperately out of the room and Dr. Thompson’s offer was his opportunity.

“Chris?” Lance spoke. “You haven’t seen JC yet. Don’t you want to?”

“Hey, look Lance, I can see JC just fine where I’m at. I don’t need to be right next to him. Besides, he doesn’t even know we’re here anyway.”

“But… but I don’t understand,” Lance breathed out slowly. “Why don’t you want to see him?”

“Just drop it okay,” Chris nearly yelled as he sauntered in the direction of the door, “Come on, doc.” The two left the room without another word.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, Joey. Wow.” Lance looked pitifully toward JC’s bed, “I can’t believe Chris didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t even want to see him.”

Joey moved closer toward Lance. “Well, we each have our own way with dealing with what happened, Lance. We can’t expect Chris to have the same reaction as the both of us.”

“Joey, he didn’t even want to be in the same room as JC. Why?” A tear made its way down the bass singers cheek. “What did JC do to deserve this treatment from Chris?”

“I don’t know Scoop.” Joey’s arm slid around Lance’s waist and squeezed. “We just need to give Chris a little more time to adjust to the situation.” He kissed Lance’s cheek, “Can you do that?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

They both sat down on the couch still held together by Joey’s arm and stared at JC’s unmoving form with tears flowing from their eyes.

Chris followed the doctor around the hospital as the older man retrieved Justin’s prescription of Valium. The entire time the eldest brunette was desperately thinking of a legitimate excuse for not seeing JC. Jesus, why did Lance have to be so fucking persistent. He looked so sad when I yelled at him. It's not like he's JC's saviour or anything. I should've stayed. He felt extremely guilty and felt as if it was his fault JC was in the hospital right now. The self-imposed blame weighed heavily upon his shoulder, and seeing JC would only make it worse. I did the right thing. No, I should've went and talked to JC. I't not his fault. What? Don't be stupid. Why should I go and speak to a vegetable. I mean he doesn't even know I'm there. When the sorry excuse for a man wakes up then I can appease the rest of them and talk to him. What a horrible thing to say. It wasn’t JC’s fault, it’s yours. A headache began forming in Chris’s head and he placed his fingers on his temple rubbing out the voices.

“Are you okay there, Chris?”

“Yeah, doc.”

“Is the stress getting to you? Do you need something?”

“Actually, yeah. My head is pounding.”

“Well, let me get you something for it. Once you take the medication, I think it best that you lay down a while to let it work correctly.”

“All right sounds like a good idea.” As the doctor continued talking the brunette continued with the struggle inside his head. The head ache was becoming worse with each passing minute and his vision became blurry. He just wished Dr. Thompson would stop asking him questions. The guilt he was feeling was bad enough without the good doctor drudging it up. However, Dr. Thompson abruptly stopped the one sided discussion and Chris was thankful.

“Okay, here take these.” Dr. Thompson handed Chris the pills and a cup of water. Chris took both offered items and quickly gulped them down. He began drifting away again with his thoughts when Dr. Thompson addressed him. “We need to get back to Justin and give his pills and this shot of Valium. You guys will need to make sure he takes them per the prescription.”

“I will.” Chris shyly looked at the doctor, “Umm…do I have to say in the same room as the others.”

“Not if you don’t want to. I’m sure I can find you something nearby, however.”

Yes, perfect. No, that won’t be necessary. “Umm…no,” Chris fidgeted, “ I guess I’ll be all right with them.”

The doctor stopped Chris with a gentle touch. “Chris is there something the matter? You seem nervous about spending time with JC.”

Tell him. No don’t. “No, everything is all right, but thank you for asking.”

“Sure thing, but just remember that JC isn’t the only person who was effected by what happened last night. It’s okay to have reservations about some things. However, when the time comes you and the rest of the group will need to be strong for JC.”

“What are you saying, doc?”

“I’m saying you need to be strong before you can help JC. There are plenty of professionals in the area that you can talk to, but you need to talk about it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine.”

“Okay, Chris. If you’re sure.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” No I’m not. Yes, I am.

The two returned, walking soundlessly into JC’s room. Dr. Thompson administered the Valium in Justin’s right arm as carefully as possible. The doctor then began giving the group instructions on how to care for Justin once he wakens. “When he wakes up be sure that you give him these. He needs to take one every four to six hours or whenever he feels another panic attack approaching.” Dr. Thompson turned and handed the bottle of Valium to Joey. “Now, I’m going to leave you guys. I have my rounds to do. Will you be all right?”

A chorus of yeses were sounded and the doctor was satisfied. As he walked toward the door he heard Joey ask him a question.

“Excuse me doctor, but umm… where’re his parents? I mean we haven’t seen them since this morning when JC regain consciousness. Are they okay?”

Dr. Thompson turned and faced Joey, “They went back to their hotel. I told them that the hospital would call if his condition changes.”

“You mean they left!” Lance nearly yelled. “I can’t believe that. Why would they leave?” the blond’s face was turning a dark shade of red. “That doesn’t make and sense. It’s their son for fucks sake.”

“Hey, calm down Lance.”

“No, Joey. That’s so wrong. How could they just leave like that?”

“Well, I thought it would be for the best,” Dr. Thompson answered. “I had a feeling that you guys wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon, even though I think you should go back to your hotel and wait there, as well.”

“You’re right on that account,” Lance said.

“Actually, doctor. I think I for one am gonna take your advice. I’m head back and take that nap you suggested. It’s really chaotic here and I really need the rest.”

“Chris?”

“What Lance? I’m not feeling very well, okay. The doctor was kind enough to give me something for my migrain and he said I needed rest.”

“But you haven’t seen JC, yet.”

“I’ll have plenty of time to see him. Right now I just don’t feel very well.” Chris refused making eye contact with Lance.

“But… but, you haven’t’…”

“Lance, just leave it alone. I don’t’ think JC is in any life or death situation anymore and he isn’t even awake. So I’m gonna have Tiny take me back to our hotel. I’ll be back later. Okay.”

Joey stepped in. “Hey, man, no problem. Just get some sleep all right. Lance and I will stick around here until Justin wakes up and then I’ll meet you at the hotel.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Chris walked over toward Joey and gave him a hug. However when moved over in the direction of Lance, the younger man turned away from him, denying him the opportunity for a hug. “Lance, come on.” No answer. “Lance?” Chris guiltily peered over at Joey who shrugged his shoulders and then turned his gaze back in the direction of Lance’s back. “Okay, Lance. I guess I’ll see you in a little while, K.”

Lance did not say anything, just focused his interest on Justin. Chris stared for a few seconds longer, shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the room.

“Lance, why did you ignore Chris?”

“Why is he ignoring JC?” Lance shot back. “Joey, I didn’t ask him to profess his undying love or anything, but he should’ve acknowledged JC’s situation. I mean you just don’t disregard one of your best friends especially after something like this.”

“You’re right, but like I said, maybe this is his way of dealing with what happened.”

“Or not dealing with it. He can’t discount it, Joey. It won’t help JC if he doesn’t deal with it himself.”

“Well, I don’t know what to do?”

“Me either, Joey. Me either.”

______

Justin groggily awoke. His head was still spinning and his vision blurry. He rolled onto his left and realized he was lying on a bed in a dark room but he could not quite remember where. He slowly blinked. When he looked deeper into his surroundings he saw the ominous silhouette of JC’s bed. Justin blinked again. He did not believe what was in front of him. It must be a mirage or my imagination, the confused boy thought. He painstakingly pushed himself up, groaning with the effort and braced his weight onto his left arm. He used his right hand when he tried rubbing the vision of JC’s sleeping form from his eyes. JC, however, was still there. Justin did it again, this time harder more forcefully, but his brunette friend’s form did not disappear.

“You’re not dreaming, Justin.”

The soft low-pitched voice startled Justin, and he quickly began scouring the large partially lit room looking for its owner. “Huh…” he managed muttering.

“I’m glad you’re awake, you gave us quite a scare,” the deep voice continued.

“Ww…what?” Justin finally locked eyes with the speaker.

Lance walked across the room toward Justin’s bed and answered Justin in a quite profound voice. “Everything will be all right, Justin. You just had another panic attack. This one was a bit worse than your first one, however. So the doctor decided it would be best if you were allowed to stay in the hospital. I guess for observational purposes.”

The younger boy recognized the person who was speaking and the voice was like music it calmed him down immediately. “Lance, how long have I been asleep?”

“Actually, quite a long time. Almost eight hours.”

“Wow, I guess I was tired, eh.”

“To say the least.”

“You’ve been here the entire time.” Justin glanced back over in the direction of JC.

“Yeah,” Lance shyly answered. When he observed Justin’s eye’s wandering he knew what the other boy was thinking. Lance turned his head around in the direction of JC’s bed. “He hasn’t reawakened, since you last saw him. The doctor ordered him another one of his sedatives after you passed out. The nurse just came in and gave him another one about two hours ago.” Lance sat down on the bed in front of Justin. He placed his hand on the other blond’s forearm rubbing comfortably, eyes piercing. “Dr. Thompson said that JC needed his rest in order for him to heal faster. He said he would be out for the rest of the night.”

“Oh… Lance, why am I in here? Where did this bed come from?” Justin had so many questions he wanted answered.

“Well,” Lance spoke softly, “the doctor thought maybe you’d be better off in the same room as JC.”

“He’s right.” Justin gaze roamed over Lance’s face.

“Yeah, I kinda figured that.”

“I guess that explains the bed, too.” Justin smiled weakly and then began anxiously looking around the room. “Hey, where’re Joey and Chris.”

Lance closed his eyes, knowing the whereabouts of his other two friends would hurt the younger boy. He gathered his courage and as he spoke his voice quivered, “they left.”

“They left,” Justin whispered. “W…why w…would they leave?” His eyes were wide with disbelieve, shock and on the verge of tears.

“Don’t cry Justin.” Lance quickly scoured his mind, thinking of something that would calm his friend before another panic attack struck.

“Chris wasn’t feeling very well. He said he was getting a headache or something and so he left after he found out you were all right.”

“Oh.”

“Did he see JC before he took off?”

“Um… I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure, “ Lance lied.

“I see.” Justin dejectedly placed his hands in his lap and began nervously picking at the blanket. “So what about Joey?” he sniffed.

“Joey left about two hours after that, I think. He was going to the hotel to check up on Chris.” Lance noticed Justin’s shoulders tremble. The older boy reached for Justin and pulled him into a hug and swaying with him gently. Lance did not relish the idea of telling Justin what Chris said before leaving. Lance was startled when the younger blond spoke again.

“He didn’t believe me. I remember that.”

“What? What are you talking about Justin?”

“Chris. Chris didn’t believe me when I told him JC opened his eyes and squeezed my hand.” Justin turned in Lance’s arms calculating the bass singer’s reaction.

A large smile played across Lance’s face. “Well, Justin. If anyone can reach JC it’s you,” he soothed, petting the unruly curls.

Justin hugged Lance tighter burrowing his now tear stained face into the other man’s neck. “Thank you Lance. Thank you for believing me.”

“Of course I believe you, why would you lie about something like that.”

“Chris…Chris said I was full of shit. That I only saw what I wanted to see.”

“Justin, I think Chris is having a hard time with what happened. He wants to believe. I know he does, but it’s just gonna take him a little while longer, I guess.”

“Yeah, you think so.”

“Yep, and so does Joey.”

Lance let go of Justin and brushed a stray curl from the younger boy’s eye. “I’m gonna go tell the nurse you’re awake, but before I go you need to take these.”

“What are they?”

“Dr. Thompson prescribed them for you. I really don’t know what they are.”

“K.”

“Do you need a glass of water?”

“No. I’m fine.” Justin took the pills from Lance’s hand and swallowed them dry. He turned his gaze back toward JC and sighed. “I hope he wakes up soon.”

The bass singer removed himself from the bed. “So do I, Baby J.” He gently pushed Justin back down into the bed and replaced the covers over him. “Right now, I think you need some more rest. Just try and relax and I’ll be back okay.”

“Lance,” the older blond glimpsed over his shoulder as he approached the door. “Will you sleep with me when you come back? I’m worried about you. I don’t want you by yourself either.”

“Sure, Justin. I’ll sleep with you when I come back.”

“Promise.”

“I promise.”

Lance opened the door and a loud beam of light cascaded into the dark room. Justin squinted his eyes and situated his arm over his eyes when his azure orbs were assailed by it. He used the opportunity to look upon JC and noticed that he was facing in his direction. The blond could vaguely see a curl in JC’s battered lips. Justin smiled and turned his body in JC’s direction. The door closed and slowly placed the two boys back into darkness. But only for a little while longer, Justin thought before he allowed sleep again to overtake him.



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