Justin’s
body was slumped against the bathroom door. He had slept the rest of the night
there. Upon hearing the wake up call, he slowly moved his aching body from the
door toward the phone. He turned quickly when he heard the bathroom door click
open. JC slowly exited the tiny room and sauntered bashfully toward the first
twin bed. He looked tired and haggard. The bruises that shadowed his face were
slightly darker, however, the swelling was down considerably. JC sat down on the
bed and wrapped his arms around himself protectively. His sad blue eyes finally
moved from the ground and pinned Justin’s azure ones. He began rocking.
Justin
instantly dropped the phone into its carriage and ran toward JC. Their gaze
never faltered. He knelt in front of his lover and gently placed is hand onto
JC’s thigh. “Baby, talk to me.”
JC’s
eyes became watery. Justin lifted his other hand up and softly brushed
underneath the uninjured eye. He then moved it along the side of his lover’s
face resting it upon his cheek. JC leaned into it craving the younger man’s
touch, knowing eventually that he would forgive him but not right now, however.
He wanted too but his past experiences were to close to the surface at this time
and making a decision right now would be rash. “I…I had a nightmare. It…was
that night.” JC tried moving his face away from Justin but the younger man
brought up his other hand cupping the injured face.
“I’m
sorry. I must’ve… it’s my fault. You wouldn’t be having nightmares had I
not,” he swallowed hard, “hit…you.” Justin closed his eyes and
remembered the images from the last night Wade was in JC’s life. ‘When he
walked into the room intending on waking JC up, he noticed how cold the room
was. He looked toward the bed and noticed a large red splotch in the middle of
the mattress and a belt tied to the headboard. He had heard the shower running
and decided to check up on him. When the blond opened the door he was hit with a
wave of intense cold. He realized something was wrong, something was very wrong.
Justin threw open the shower curtain and his eyes were assailed with a horrible
vision. JC was naked, barely standing inside the shower on wobbly legs. His
hands were tied behind his back while the cold water pelted his sore body. The
brunette seemed to be one continuous bruise as the colors swirled and cascaded
down the slender man. JC was shivering. Justin instantly grabbed a large bath
towel and moved toward the shower reaching for JC. The blond remembered JC
telling him no, that he should stay away. When Justin asked why, JC replied,
Wade will be mad. Instead of leaving, Justin turned the water off and gently
untied his friend’s battered wrists. He then carefully wrapped the trembling
body into the warm towel carrying him out of the bathroom, down the hall and
into his warm suite placing him onto his bed. It was then when he realized a
small shadowing of red running down JC’s leg. The starting point was not
difficult for Justin to figure out. He determined right then and there, he would
get his revenge against Wade. That morning Justin told the others what happened.
They searched the building looking for the inhumane dancer. Once he was found,
the four of them jumped him; Wade was never allowed back.’ The blond man’s
eyes slowly blinked opened trying to rid his self of those images. He could only
imagine what it is like for his lover.
The
brunette knew what Justin was thinking the moment he closed his eyes. The young
singer began trembling and tears teased his redden cheeks. The older man really
did not know what to do. He had stayed up the rest of the night worrying. JC did
not want his night plagued with irreversible dreams, so he the rest of the night
hours contemplating what he should do and say to Justin. He had thought about
this moment, the moment he would tell Justin whether he forgave him or not. The
brunette knew deep down that he could never live without Justin in his life, but
all that mattered was the here and now. JC gathered his wits and he continued
staring into the younger man’s eyes. “I love you,” he whispered.
“JC,”
Justin’s voice gave way to a large release of emotions. He placed his
trembling hands around the slim waist and laid his head onto JC’s lap, he
broke down. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled into JC’s pajamas tears soaking
though the thin material. “Please, I didn’t mean…mean to. I need you.
Please, don’t leave me.”
JC
ran his slender fingers through the blonde’s hair. He gently moved his other
hand in circular patterns across shaking shoulders. They sat silently for a few
minutes before JC spoke again. “Baby J,” he tenderly nudged the young singer.
“You need to look at me. I can’t do this, if you don’t look at me.”
Justin’s
head snapped upon hearing the seriousness in his boyfriend’s voice. The
brunette’s hand fell from the top of the blonde’s head, down the side of his
face and now rested on his neck. The brunette intimately rubbed his thumb up and
down Justin’s throat feeling the vibration when his lover spoke. “Do what?
Oh God, no baby. Don’t. Please, I won’t be able to take it?”
“Baby
J. I won’t leave you,” he sniffed. “I can’t live without you either.”
His thumb was still stroking unconsciously. “I just…just need some time to
think some things out you know.” He looked away from Justin. “Whatever I
decide, know that I’ll always love you. Nothing will change that, okay.”
Justin
was not about to let go. “I can’t do that. I can’t let you punish yourself
for my mistake.” He reached up and gently caringly gripped JC’s chin and
encouraged the older man’s face to look at him once again. He leaned in close
breathing his words onto JC’s soft supple lips. “Baby,” he whimpered. “I
can’t loose you. I’ll do anything, anything for you. I’m at your mercy.”
The blonde’s eyes searched desperately for any indication that JC understood
the depth of his remorse and guilt. “I’d die without you so please, please
don’t leave me.” Justin’s last words died out, as he was again overwhelmed
with pent up emotions. His plea was rewarded as he heard JC speak words his soul
longed to hear.
“I
won’t, sugah. I promise.”
Justin
wrapped a hand around the back of his boyfriend’s neck and gently moved him
closer. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against JC’s ear as he ghosted
soft kisses on his lover’s neck. “Will you forgive me?” he soulfully
moaned. “Baby, please forgive me.” Justin nestled his face in the crook and
rubbed his skin against baby soft hair. Feeling safe and secure in the other
man’s aura, he crawled further into JC’s lap.
JC’s
hand found its way to the back of Justin’s head and pushed him closer, leaning
his temple against the younger man’s head. He slowly had begun moving his face
brushing it into Justin hair caressingly. It pained him when Justin acted child
like. However, he needed to tell the young man, that he was not sure if he could
forgive him. He could not avoid it any longer. Justin snuggled closer and all
thoughts of telling the younger man his feelings disappeared. Justin comes first.
Instead of confessing his
dilemma right away, he gradually pulled away from Justin and looked intently
upon his boyfriend’s face; petting it. The brunette searched Justin’s soul
for the level of truth he expressed and JC was not surprised when he found utter
and complete remorse for what the blond had done.
“JC,”
Justin broke the entrancing silence. “Will you,” he said delicately.
“Please,
J. I need some time. Can you give that to me?”
“I’ll
give you whatever you want,” he sniffed. “Whatever you want.”
JC
smiled sweetly at Justin. He shyly bowed his head and laughed quietly at himself
for the absurd proposition he was going to give Justin.
“What
baby?” Justin looked concerned. “What do you need from me? I’ll give you
anything, all of me.”
The
brunette’s gaze promptly returned with a new sense of seriousness. “I… I
want you… I want you to kiss me. I want you to tell me everything, how you
feel about me, in just one kiss.”
Justin
smiled. He knew this was only the beginning but he was glad for it. The blond
wanted it all at once, but JC was not ready to give it up. So, he was thankful
for what JC was giving him. His lover was giving him an opportunity in
expressing his love. He was going to make the most of it. Just as Justin began
leaning toward JC, there was a knock at the door. The two men sighed and the
blond rested his forehead against his lover’s. “Do I get another chance?”
he placed an affectionate kiss onto the smooth skin of JC’s forehead.
JC
stared lovingly at Justin, “Yeah,” he breathed.
“Thank
you, baby.” He ran his hand up the back of the older man’s neck. “Thank
you for giving me another chance with you, my life.”
“You’re
welcome, sugah, but I haven’t completely forgiven you, yet,” he whispered.
“I
know. I don’t expect you to. I did something very wrong and I realize that
it’ll take some time. I’m willing to wait.”
The
knock at the door became increasingly louder with each passing second. Finally,
Justin reluctantly released his hold on JC and walked across the small suite
opening the door. He was greeted by a toothy grin. “Hey, kiddo. How did
everything go?”
Justin
stepped outside holding the door open with his foot. “Progress, I think,
Lonnie. He said he loved me and that no matter what I should always remember
that.” The blond glanced behind the larger man making sure no one else was
around. “He said he loved me, Lonnie.”
“I
got that part of it. Did he forgive you?”
The
blond pop star’s gaze immediately focused on the ground upon hearing the
bodyguard’s words. “Umm…na…no. He isn’t ready for that step yet, but
at least I know that I’ve got a fighting chance here.” Justin opened the
door and peered in at JC, whom was lying down on the bed looking at the ceiling.
“I love him, Lonnie. I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll show him that
I’m worth his forgiveness.”
“Good
to hear, but you two need to get up. Lance is having breakfast in his room.
It’ll arrive in like twenty minutes. So get cleaned up and change your cloths
for crying out loud you’ve been wearing them for like a day and a half now.”
Justin
grinned, “Just for you Lonnie.”
“All
right,” he snuck a peek behind his charge and pointed his finger toward the
bed. “Get spindle boy over there moving too. You know how much Lance hates it
when you two are late. And to tell you the truth, I’m not in the mood to hear
his whining.”
“Yeah,
almost as much as I hate that asshole, Wade,” he whispered.
“I’ll
second that motion.” The bodyguard started down the hallway leaving Justin to
deal with getting JC ready.
Justin
turned back into the room allowing the door to close on Lonnie. “Hey, baby,”
he whispered. “You need to start getting ready. Lance is having breakfast in
his room in about twenty minutes.”
JC
moved his gaze toward the door and reached his hand out in Justin’s direction,
silently beckoning him. Instantly, the younger man was beside him gripping the
delicate hand and placing it against his heart. The brunette entwined their
fingers together and stared at them closely. Each finger snuggled the other’s,
matching perfectly. He knew the moment their eyes met, once again, that he could
not live without Justin. JC closed his eyes and relished in the feel of tender
velvety caresses Justin’s other hand was administering upon his forearm. He
whimpered quietly. Their skin touching so familiarly, so intimately soothed
JC’s aching heart. The brunette once more opened his expressive eyes
penetrating Justin’s soul. “I…need…ya……….” He snapped his eyes
shut and twisted away, “I need a shower.” The brunette hastily rolled away
from Justin, ripping his hand away from the startled man and ran into his safe
haven, the bathroom. The younger man heard the lock click and another tear made
an appearance on his saddened face.
To
say the least, Justin was a bit taken by JC’s actions. He thought they were
close to reconciliation but JC pulled away. “O…okay,” he stammered hurt
evident in his voice. Justin slumped his shoulders forward and sighed. Earning
JC’s forgiveness would take longer than he thought and he was all right with
that. He deserved the cold shoulder and the mixed messages. This can’t be
easy for JC either. He’s the one that was hurt by one he person he truly loves.
I need to give him time.
When
JC exited the bathroom, the suite was empty. Justin had gathered their things up
and packed them into one over night bag, which now took up residence on the bed.
JC noticed as he approached the twin size bed, his boyfriend had laid out his
cloths for the day; he smiled. Upon putting the articles of clothing on, JC
caught a glimpse of his self in the large wall mirror on the other side of the
room. Curiosity getting the better of him, he sauntered toward it. As his
reflection became larger and larger, he reached up and touched his face,
outlining the damage Justin’s fist and caused. He closed his eyes, remembering
their fight. He would never compare Justin to Wade, they were two very different
individuals. The brunette opened his eyes once more and wondered as he reached
out and touched his bruises the reflection. Why was he so angry at me? He
thought for a little while longer until it dawned on him. Oh yeah, Tony, he
must think something is up between he and I. We’ll need to talk about it. I
need to make him see that Tony doesn’t mean anything to me. Jive just wanted
some photo ops between him and me, to help his career. I need to tell Justin
that. JC finished getting dress and ran out the door intending on explaining
that night to Justin.
Justin
entered Lance’s suite only five minutes before he needed to be there. He
looked down at his watch and wondered if his boyfriend was going to make it on
time. Like Lonnie, really did not relish the idea of a whiny Lance. It was bad
enough for him that it was evil glare central. He did not care. Justin only
cared about JC and his feelings. As long as his lover was going to give him
another chance, he did not care the others were giving him the cold shoulder.
When Justin left his room he was confused, but the more he thought about it the
more he understood. He was fiddling with the afghan when JC burst into the room.
“Oh,
excuse me. Umm…I’m not late am I?”
“No.
No, sweetie,” Lance said. “Why don’t you come in and sit down. Breakfast
will be here in a few minutes.” Lance removed himself from the plush recliner
offering it to the brunette. JC glanced at Justin who sat uncomfortably by
himself on the loveseat. Justin did not meet his gaze. Instead of taking the
offered seat, he glided across the room and sat down next to Justin leaning into
him.
“I’ll
be fine right here.”
Joey
smiled, “Is everything all right than JC?”
“We’ve
got a few things to work out but we still can be civil toward each other. I mean
unlike you guys who are making him feel even more guilty for hitting me.”
Justin’s body stiffened.
“Well,
can you blame us,” Lance added as he sent an evil glare in Justin’s
direction.
“Look,
guys. I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but this is honestly between
loverboy, here, and me. We really need your support in this, both of us.”
“Of
course, you’ve got our support, sweetie. But I can be upset with Justin and
give support at the same time. You can’t tell me how to feel,” Joey said.
“I
know, Joey. I…I’m sorry for insinuating that.” JC placed his hand onto
Justin’s thigh and rested his head upon the blond man’s shoulder closing his
eyes. Justin looked down and wrapped a comforting arm around slender shoulders
and kissed the curly hair in front of him.
“So,
are you going to forgive him? Just like that, huh.” Chris threw his hands into
the air. “The guy hits you and you run back to him, like nothing happened.
Shit. How many times did you do that with Wade and look where it got you.”
“What
the fuck, Chris,” Justin screamed as he felt his boyfriend’s body shiver
against his own. “How fucking dare you say that?”
“What
it’s true?”
Lance
interrupted, “Chris you need to stay out of this. You know that Justin
didn’t mean to hurt him. It was a reaction, even JC thinks so.”
“Whatever.
I swear to God Justin if you touch him again in anger, I’ll hurt you. And so
will everyone else in this room and standing out in that hall. It’ll be Wade
all over again. You got that.”
Justin had tears in his
eyes by the time Chris had finished. He slowly nodded his understanding. He felt
JC’s arms wrap around his mid section and watched as the brunette crawled
closer signaling Justin that it was okay. They would work it out.