Part 2


Justin stumbled forward into the bunk area with tears streaming down his face. His mind was reeling with the vision of his fist striking JC’s flawless face and the brunette’s blood running from his nose. “Oh my god, oh my god…oh god, he’s gonna hate me.” When he entered the bunks he was breathing erratically gasping at the illusive air forcing it into his lungs. His knees gave a little and he instinctively braced a hand against the partition. The blond glanced at the supportive hand and recognized a splotch of blood on it. Justin stared transfixed. What’ve I done? I said I’ never to that to him, said I’d never hit him in anger. Oh God, he closed his eyes, Please let him forgive me. Please, I… I can’t live without him. “I’m such a fuck up,” he screamed.

Three heads popped up from behind the main curtain upon hearing the blond man’s voice. When their visions fell upon Justin, they noticed he nearly crumbled body along with the fact he was mumbling incoherently and they could not understand what he was saying. Joey scrambled out from behind the single curtain first and jumped up, greeting Justin, placing a comforting arm around the young man’s shoulders. Justin leaned into Joey’s larger frame for support.  

“Hey, baby J. What’s wrong? Why all the tears?” The younger brunette moved his hand up and down Justin’s drooping shoulder. Justin did not answer Joey. Instead he looked at his hand that was still residing on the partition. He sighed. Then looked back over his shoulder in the direction of the living room. “Come on, Justin. You can tell us. What’s got you crying?”

“Joey, will you give it a rest and let Justin relax a bit before he tries telling us what’s going on.”

“Lance, he’s upset. I think we should address the problem like yesterday.”

“And we will Joey, just as soon as Justin calms a bit and his able to focus on you.”

“Fine.” The three stood around Justin for what seemed like an eternity before the young singer tried speaking.

“J…C…mad…,” Justin was having a difficult time forming the words he needed in conveying his meaning.

“What about JC and why would he be mad at you? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“He’s… he’s…” Justin slipped out from under Joey’s arm and crumbled onto the floor. The blonde’s hands automatically covered his face as his body was raked with another round of intense crying. Joey followed the young singer down making sure he kept some sort of physical contact.  

“Look, you two stay with him. I’m gonna go check on JC,” Lance announced. “This looks bad. I don’t like the feel of it.”

“Okay, Scoop, see if he is any better at explaining what the hell is going on.”

“All right, Chris. I’ll be back in a few.” The bass singer sauntered out of the main bunk area and cautiously entered the living area, leaving Joey and Chris to figure out what was wrong with Justin.

Chris walked over toward the two grown men on the floor and knelt down. He placed his hand on the top of Justin’s thigh and squeezed gently. Justin’s relentless sobbing stopped for a moment as the young lead singer refocused his attention upon Chris. Chris’s hand traced small reassuring circles as he thought of what he should ask. Then he finally broke the mind numbing silence. “What did JC do?”

Justin’s eyes were still unfocused and blood shot, but they still were able to look up and met Chris’s. “I…I saw…him…with…with Tony.” Justin let out a heart-wrenching sob. “They … they were… dancing and,” he inhaled deeply, “together.”

Chris looked over at Joey and gave a small smile. “Justin, sweetie… you need to calm down for a second. Can you do that? I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” The blond shook his head no. “Why not?”

“Cuz…cuz…it hurts.”

Joey piped in, “Your head hurts. Do you want something for it?” Justin was again shaking his head, “you sure cuz it’s not like a big deal or anything.”

The blond singer was becoming frustrated. “No,” he yelled. His hands balled up into fists before he even realized it. Oh no. I can’t be like him. I can’t be like Wade. He slowly unclenched his hands and stared at them wondering why he was becoming violent.

“Okay, fine. I was just trying ta help.” Joey moved slightly away from Justin, but the young blond grabbed him at the waist holding Joey against him.

“Joey, I honestly don’t think his attitude really has anything to do with us.” Chris moved his hand unto Justin head still moving in a circular pattern. “He’s just taking it out on us.”

“What do you think it is Chris?” Joey eyes were filled with concern. “I mean nothing…serious right.”

“Joey you should know better than that. If any situation deals with JC and Justin, you know it’s gonna be serious. Especially if they’re fighting.”

“But you really don’t know that for sure right, Chris.”

“Right, Joey. I don’t know that for a fact.”

“K.”

Justin stirred and gathered himself, “Would you two please stop talking like I’m not here?” Justin quietly spoke.

Joey pulled Justin into his arms impossibly close. He wrapped his arms tightly around the trim waist and snuggled the back of Justin’s neck. “What’s bothering you, baby J?”

Justin took another deep breath in preparation for the small tale he would be telling. “He’s mad,” a small hiccup escaped his lips, “at me.”

“We’ve gathered that but why. Why is he mad?” Chris asked becoming anxious. “How’s he mad at you? What did you do wrong this time?” The older brunette’s chocolate eyes stared directly into Justin’s.  

“That’s just…that’s just it. It’s my fault. He…didn’t really do anything.”

“What do you mean it’s your fault? It takes two to argue. So what part in this evil twisted argument does JC play?”

“I…I…” Justin’s eyes fell quickly to the ground shamefully. “I hit him.”

“Come again,” Joey said moving Justin away from him.

“What?” Chris began angrily staring dumbly at Justin’s hidden face, “how could you? How could you hit him after everything that’s happened?” Joey held a hand up toward Chris, signaling for him to stop. Chris huffed and placed his arms across his chest. Joey reached forward and lifted Justin’s chin up and softly spoke, rubbing his thumb upon his cheek.  

“Baby J, what happened?”

“I hit him,” Justin tried moving his face, but Joey tightened his grip. “We were arguing and… and I said some things that he didn’t like… and.”

Chris unfolded his arms. “Wait a minute,” he paused, “what are these ‘things’ you’re talking about?” Joey glared at Chris.

“Umm… I… accused him of being with Tony and …and.” Justin finally pulled free from Joey and quickly stood up. He turned around and headed for his bunk. “Look, I just need to be left alone for a while. I need to gather my thoughts and think things… through.” Justin felt a hand grasp his arm and pull him back into the sitting area of the bunks. He tried pulling free but the hand would not let go. The blonde’s mind again was assailed with visions from moments before and he now understood how JC felt when he held JC against his will.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Joey said, “I think we should know what the hell is going on with our two best friends.” Joey lowered his voice. “We’ve a right to know, Justin.”

Chris moved closer toward Justin still extremely anger at the younger man. “Yeah, Justin. So why did you hit your boyfriend. I mean didn’t you make a promise to him. Didn’t you say you weren’t ever gonna hit him, like Wade used to.” Chris was just inches from Justin’s face as he spat his words. “Why did you break your promise? What was so difficult for you to deal with that you had to use force against the most innocent and harmless man I know?”  

Justin looked away from Chris’s stare and again down toward the floor. “He…slapped me.” The older brunette’s head jerked back upon hearing the younger man’s words.  

“He hit you?” Joey asked dumbfounded. “Little JC hit you? Our JC. Your JC, I can’t believe he would strike anyone. Here let me look you over. I don’t see any marks, you’re not bleeding.”

“He slapped me Joey, all right. With an open hand and I did what came naturally, I struck back. I… know…I know that’s not an excuse or anything, but I didn’t know how else to respond.”

“So you swung at him.” Chris slowly shook his head, “How many times is he gonna have to live through that nightmare.”  

“I didn’t mean to Chris, honestly. I didn’t mean to.”

“You may not have meant to, Justin, but you did. Just like Wade those many times before,” Joey chided. “He made you promise before he started dating you that the relationship would never come to blows.”

Justin’s deep sky blue eyes were losing focus again as the tears welled up inside. “I know, Joey. That’s why it hurts so much, cuz; I’m the one who is wrong here, not JC. Yet, I hit him. I was rough with him. I used my strength to over power him and try and get what I wanted.”

“What did you want, Justin? What was so important to you that you’d risk everything with JC?”

“Chris,” Justin’s body was again tormented by sobs. “I wanted…wanted him to give me…answers.”

“About…?”

“Why… why Tony went with us? I… I wanted to know why JC spent more time with Tony than me,” Justin’s anger was boiling toward the surface once again. “Why was Tony with us, that’s all I wanted to know.” The blonde’s eyes shot up as tried explaining what had happened.  

Joey interrupted, “You wanted to know why Tony went with the group a couple of nights ago? That’s what this whole argument is about?”

Justin slowly moved his head back and forth and whispered, “no”. “I… accused him of spending more time with him and… and I got angry when I didn’t hear the answer I wanted, so I… I called him a slut.”

“You of all people should know that isn’t the case. I can’t believe you called him that. You can be such an asshole, sometimes.”

“I know Joey, okay, I know. I just don’t know how I’m gonna make this up.” Justin moved toward his bunk and sat down resting his hands onto his head. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We can help,” Chris offered. “Even though you were a complete idiot. You should know that JC is completely in love with you. You should never worry about him being unfaithful.” The brunette walked toward the weeping boy. “He’ll forgive you Justin, you just have to give a sincere apology and allow JC some time to explain Tony’s presence, cuz, I’m sure there is a perfectly good reason, why he went.”

Justin nodded his head and looked painfully up, “Should I go now?”

“No, let him cool down as well. You have ta know he is extremely upset, right now,” Joey said. “This whole thing has probably brought up some horrible memories for him right now. Especially cuz it deals with you, he loves you far more than he ever did Wade. The simply fact you hit him, probably hurts more than the actually contact. He’ll need some time, Justin, definitely. Maybe you should wait until tomorrow night or something, when were in a hotel and not on the bus.”

“Okay,” the blond singer pulled his curtain all the way back. “I’ll just take a nap, or something while I wait for the right moment to approach JC.”

“Yeah, Baby J that sounds like a great idea. We’ll wake you if something else comes up,” Chris offered. “By the way, we’ll be in Toronto in like an hour.”

“Whatever comes first I guess,” Justin suggested.

“Will do,” Chris smiled.

The two older men watched as Justin closed his curtain. They looked at each other shaking their heads, speaking no words but saying everything they needed to with a simple look. The two had no idea how this was going to play out, but like Chris said they would help anyway they could. Chris turned and went toward his bunk. He too, jumped into bed and pulled the curtain closed around him, “Have a nice nap,” he yelled out.

“Yeah, thanks,” Justin whispered. “I don’t think I’ll be able to,” he continued without anyone hearing him as he again began crying. What have I done?



next

Email: whatweallwishfor@yahoo.com