Who I am - Justin


I shaved my head.

Man, they were all shocked as hell when they saw me.

Especially management.  “What the hell were you thinking?” they’d said.

I told them I felt like I needed a change.

What a crock of shit.  Truth was, I was sick of being the “golden boy”, sick of being the heartthrob, the leader.  I never asked for that, never wanted to be the one that all the fans worshipped, the one that the rest of the group resented.

I hated being the golden boy.  

I’m not Justin Timberlake, teen dream.  

So I shaved my head.  Not that it did any good.  Throngs of female fans still throw themselves at me, screaming “I love you Justin!” with tears streaming down their cheeks.

They love me?  They don’t have a clue what love is.  Hell, they think I love Britney.  Shows what they know.

I can’t stand Britney.  If management wasn’t shoving her in my face 24/7, she’d have been long gone by now. I’m sick of being in this “relationship” with her. I’m sick of the constant string of questions from the press about us.

“How long have you been in love with Britney, Justin?”

“Justin, what’s it like to be in love with the Pop Princess?”

“Any plans for marriage, Justin?”  Wink, wink, nudge nudge.

It makes me want to throw up.  

No one knows how I feel or what I’m going through.

Except Josh.  Josh knows. Josh understands.

He’s got Bobbee to deal with, and he hates her as much as I hate Britney.  We have a lot in common, Josh and I.  

I’m worried about him.  He seems so…sad.  And I would know. He’s my best friend, he’s been my best friend forever. He’s always there when I need him.  

He hates Britney, too.  Maybe more than I do.

He hasn’t been himself lately.  I’m worried about him.

And I want to kiss him.

Wait—did I just say that?

Yeah. Yeah, I did. And I meant it.  

For once I’m going to do what feels right, do what I want to do.

I’m outside his door now, and I’m shaking. I knock and walk in.

He knows it’s me.  Always knows when it’s me.

“Josh, are you here?”

“Justin, what’s wrong?”  He’s standing in front of me, and his blue eyes are cloudy and sad.

And I kiss him.  Softly, gently…and it’s amazing.  

I pull away and look at him.  His beautiful eyes are clear blue again.

“I knew it.’

“Huh?”

"I knew it. I just had to make sure. Now I know."

He looks confused.  So I tell him.

“I love you, Josh. I’m in love with you.”  A small smile forms on his lips, the first one I’ve seen in a long time.  And I kiss him again.

So this is who I am.  I’m Justin Timberlake, and I love Josh Chasez.  From now on, that’s all that matters.



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