“Justin?”
I heard JC calling my name. Call me
crazy, but I swear there was desperation in his voice.
“Justin, where are you?”
It was two o’clock in the morning.
I couldn’t sleep; every noise
made me jump. My mind morphed every
shadow into Ryan’s. I imagined
him slipping in the
room quietly, wrapping his hands around my neck and squeezing. I couldn’t take
it anymore. So I slid out of JC’s bed and went downstairs to watch the
rain slap
against the windows.
“I’m down here, Jace.”
“Jesus, Justin, you scared the hell out of me!” He strode into the room, running a hand through his hair as he
shook his head. He shivered,
crossing his arms over his bare chest. “I
thought something happened to you.”
I laughed a little. Just like JC to
worry about me in the wee hours of the morning. “I couldn’t sleep,” I explained, offering him a small
smile.
He slid onto the couch next to me, the silky material of his pants rubbing
against my bare leg. The sensation
comforted me, and I leaned my head against JC’s shoulder, sighing.
“I’m scared, Jace.”
“I know.” He slid his hand
behind me, grabbing my hip gently and pulling me closer. “I’ll
take care of you, Justin.” He
kissed the top of my head lightly and I sighed again.
“Thanks,” I mumbled into the soft skin on his shoulder.
“Promise me something, Justin.”
“What?”
“Promise me you’re not going to go back to him.”
I didn’t respond. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I knew I
couldn’t promise that.
“Justin?”
“I can’t promise that, JC. You know I can’t.”
“Justin, I know you’re scared. I know you don’t think you’ll be able to
get away from him. But Justin…”
He tilted my head up gently so I
was looking at him. “I will help
you. I will do anything and everything I can to help you, even if
it means
quitting the group and going into hiding.”
I smiled through hot tears at the last comment. “Jace, we don’t have to go
into hiding.”
He laughed quietly. “I know,
Justin, but you know what I mean. Basically
I’m saying—“
I cut him off. “Basically
you’re saying you’d do anything to keep Ryan away from me.”
He blushed. I didn’t know why, but he blushed.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I
just…” He looked down at me with those platinum blue eyes of his. Something
about those eyes had always captivated me, and this moment was no exception. “I
don’t want you to get hurt anymore, Justin. You’re too
good, and too sweet, and…too beautiful.”
Hold up. Did he just say I was
beautiful?
“Everything about you is beautiful, Justin, and you deserve so much better
than that.”
My heart stopped when he ran his fingers lightly down my arm, stopping at my
hand to lace our fingers together.
“I refuse to watch my best friend get hurt anymore,” he said, his eyes still
locked with mine.
“I’m scared, Josh. I’m so
scared,” was all I could manage.
“Shhh, Justin, don’t cry,” he whispered, running his thumb across my
cheek. “I’m here. I’m not
going anywhere.”
I don’t remember when it happened, but before I knew it JC’s lips were on
mine. After getting over the
initial shock of it, I sank into the kiss. JC’s
lips were soft, and the kiss was tender and sweet. When he slid his tongue over my lower lip, I opened my mouth
slightly, moaning softly as my tongue met his. He tasted sweet, like the cinnamon gum he was always chewing.
He pulled away quickly, and I immediately missed the warm feeling of his mouth
against mine.
“Jesus, Justin…” he breathed. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was
thinking. I just…”
I reached out and slipped my hand into his. “Josh…don’t.”
“Don’t what?” he asked, a
confused look in his eyes.
“Don’t apologize.” I moved
closer to him, aching to feel his warmth against me again, to feel safe.
“Justin…I feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I’ve wanted this for so
long, and…” He blushed again.
“What? You…you’ve been wanting this to happen?”
I couldn’t believe those words had come from his mouth. Before
I met Ryan, I had always wanted to be with JC. He
was my best friend, my confidant...he'd taken me under his wing the moment we
met.
“Yeah…” he whispered. “Since the day we met.”
“Josh, why…why didn’t you ever tell me?” I asked, squeezing his hand.
“I didn’t think you felt the same way, and then you met Ryan…and I
didn’t want to lose my best friend by telling him that I had feelings for
him.”
I wrapped my hands around his waist and pulled him to me, pressing my check to
his shoulder and holding him so tight I thought he might break.
“Justin…as nice as this is,” he squeaked, “I can’t breathe.”
I loosened my grip a little, then felt his hands slide up the back of my shirt,
rubbing my back gently.
I lifted my head and looked in his eyes. “Kiss me, Josh. Please.”
“You don’t have to ask, Justin,” he whispered before pressing his lips to
mine again. I slid my hands over
his chest, enjoying the sensation I got from him moaning into my
mouth.
I nearly jumped off the couch when I heard the loud bang at the door. I
looked at Josh with terrified eyes when I heard Ryan’s deep voice bellowing
through
the door.
“God damn it, Chasez! Open this door! I KNOW he’s in there! Open this
door!”