Part 4


“Justin?”

I heard JC calling my name.  Call me crazy, but I swear there was desperation in his voice.  

“Justin, where are you?”

It was two o’clock  in the morning.  I couldn’t sleep; every noise made me jump.  My mind morphed every shadow into Ryan’s.  I imagined him slipping in the
room quietly, wrapping his hands around my neck and squeezing. I couldn’t take it anymore.   So I slid out of JC’s bed and went downstairs to watch the rain slap
against the windows.

“I’m down here, Jace.”

“Jesus, Justin, you scared the hell out of me!”  He strode into the room, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head.  He shivered, crossing his arms over his bare chest.  “I thought something happened to you.”

I laughed a little.  Just like JC to worry about me in the wee hours of the morning.  “I couldn’t sleep,” I explained, offering him a small smile.  

He slid onto the couch next to me, the silky material of his pants rubbing against my bare leg.  The sensation comforted me, and I leaned my head against JC’s shoulder, sighing.

“I’m scared, Jace.”

“I know.”  He slid his hand behind me, grabbing my hip gently and pulling me closer.   “I’ll take care of you, Justin.”  He kissed the top of my head lightly and I sighed again.   

“Thanks,” I mumbled into the soft skin on his shoulder.  

“Promise me something, Justin.”

“What?”

“Promise me you’re not going to go back to him.”

I didn’t respond. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I knew I couldn’t promise that.

“Justin?”

“I can’t promise that, JC. You know I can’t.”

“Justin, I know you’re scared. I know you don’t think you’ll be able to get away from him.  But Justin…” He tilted my head up gently  so I was looking at him.  “I will help you.  I will do anything and everything I can to help you, even if it means
quitting the group and going into hiding.”

I smiled through hot tears at the last comment. “Jace, we don’t have to go into hiding.”

He laughed quietly.  “I know, Justin, but you know what I mean.  Basically I’m saying—“

I cut him off.  “Basically you’re saying you’d do anything to keep Ryan away from me.”

He blushed.   I didn’t know why, but he blushed.  

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.  I just…”   He looked down at me with those platinum blue eyes of his.  Something about those eyes had always captivated me, and this moment was no exception.  “I don’t want you to get hurt anymore, Justin.   You’re too good, and too sweet, and…too beautiful.”

Hold up.  Did he just say I was beautiful?

“Everything about you is beautiful, Justin, and you deserve so much better than that.”  

My heart stopped when he ran his fingers lightly down my arm, stopping at my hand to lace our fingers together.

“I refuse to watch my best friend get hurt anymore,” he said, his eyes still locked with mine.

“I’m scared, Josh.  I’m so scared,” was all I could manage.

“Shhh, Justin, don’t cry,” he whispered, running his thumb across my cheek.  “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

I don’t remember when it happened, but before I knew it JC’s lips were on mine.  After getting over the initial shock of it, I sank into the kiss.  JC’s lips were soft, and the kiss was tender and sweet.  When he slid his tongue over my lower lip, I opened my mouth
slightly, moaning softly as my tongue met his.  He tasted sweet, like the cinnamon gum he was always chewing.

He pulled away quickly, and I immediately missed the warm feeling of his mouth against mine.

“Jesus, Justin…” he breathed. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…”

I reached out and slipped my hand into his. “Josh…don’t.”

“Don’t what?”  he asked, a confused look in his eyes.

“Don’t apologize.”  I moved closer to him, aching to feel his warmth against me again, to feel safe.

“Justin…I feel like I’m taking advantage of you. I’ve wanted this for so long, and…”  He blushed again.

“What? You…you’ve been wanting this to happen?”  

I couldn’t believe those words had come from his mouth.  Before I met Ryan, I had always wanted to be with JC.  He was my best friend, my confidant...he'd taken me under his wing the moment we met.

“Yeah…” he whispered. “Since the day we met.”

“Josh, why…why didn’t you ever tell me?”  I asked, squeezing his hand.

“I didn’t think you felt the same way, and then you met Ryan…and I didn’t want to lose my best friend by telling him that I had feelings for him.”

I wrapped my hands around his waist and pulled him to me, pressing my check to his shoulder and holding him so tight I thought he might break.

“Justin…as nice as this is,” he squeaked, “I can’t breathe.”

I loosened my grip a little, then felt his hands slide up the back of my shirt, rubbing my back gently.

I lifted my head and looked in his eyes.  “Kiss me, Josh. Please.”

“You don’t have to ask, Justin,” he whispered before pressing his lips to mine again.  I slid my hands over his chest, enjoying the sensation I got from him moaning into my
mouth.  

I nearly jumped off the couch when I heard the loud bang at the door.  I looked at Josh with terrified eyes when I heard Ryan’s deep voice bellowing through
the door.

“God damn it, Chasez! Open this door! I KNOW he’s in there! Open this door!”



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