Epilogue


Years later, standing on the same balcony he’d stood on the night he and Justin arrived her, he found himself thinking about home…about Lance…about *NSYNC…and about what he and Justin had done.

He remembered when Justin asked him if he felt guilty.  He’d said no.

He was lying.

How could he not feel guilty?  Of course he wanted what he had now…to be with Justin, only Justin, to live a carefree life with the man he loved.  No cameras, no rumors, no screaming fans pulling his hair and scratching at his face.  He shuddered at the thought of that;  as much as he loved music, loved performing…it just wasn’t worth it to him.

He didn’t mean to hurt Lance…or Joey and Chris, for that matter.  But both he and Justin wanted out, and they couldn’t just up and quit the group.  No, that simply wasn’t an option.  It would be too suspicious.

He looked out over the ocean, realizing just how far away everything he used to know had become.  He thought back to the night Justin told him about “the plan.”

They’d just come back from another appearance, another two hours of screams and flashes and question after question after question.  

JC had a headache. He just wanted to get the hell out of there, get back to the hotel…back to Justin’s arms.

They’d been together since…God, it had been forever.  Since they’d met on MMC.  It started out slowly and innocently…soft kisses, hand holding. But it blossomed into something more over the years. Something beautiful, something more powerful than either of them could have ever imagined.

And they’d kept it a secret.  No one knew, not their families, not the group…no one.

It was stressful.  More stressful than either of them liked to admit.  Sneaking off into dark corners just to steal a kiss…trying to get the same hotel room without making it look like they were desperate to be together.  That coupled with the immense pressure of being part of the biggest band in the world sent both men to the edge of insanity.

So that’s how it hatched.  A crazy idea, a wicked plan, a way out.

“Let’s do it,” Justin said, his blue eyes twinkling with excitement and mischief.

“Do what?”

“Get the fuck out of the group.  Get away.  Just you and me and forever. Leave all this shit behind, everything we hate, everything we don’t want to be.”

JC laughed. “Sounds amazing, Justin. But how?”

“I’ve been thinking about it…we can do it.  We just have to plan everything out right…”

“What are you talking about?”

“People are going to get hurt.”

“Ok…”

“But it’ll be worth it.  It’ll be worth it just to be with you. Only you.”

So Justin had explained the plan.  Laid it out for JC to take in and digest.  They’d make everyone think that Justin was crazy…he’d turn on everyone, be rude and short and cold to everyone he came in contact with—JC especially.  

And then Lance came into it.

“Lance is in love with you.”

JC nearly choked on the beer he was sipping. “What?!”

“It’s obvious, Jace, and if you don’t see it, then you’re blind.  He’s the key to making this whole thing work.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You talk to Lance a lot, right? Confide in him about a lot of things?”

“Yeah, but I don’t see how that—“

“Tell him you want me.”

“What?”

“Tell him you want me. Tell him you can’t stop thinking about me, you want to be with me so bad, you don’t know what to do.”

“And this is going to help how?”

“I’ll get Lance to tell me.  Threaten that if he doesn’t spill, I’ll tell you that he’s in love with you.”

“And then?”

And then they put the plan into action.

“It’ll be fun, Josh…we’ll get to play dirty,” Justin grinned, tracing a finger along JC’s jaw.  “I know you love it when I’m rough with you.”

JC laughed, nodding.

“So what do you think?” Justin asked. “Should we do it? I know we can pull it off. I love you, baby, enough to do anything to be able to be with you.”

And so it was decided.  It would take over a year for everything to work out…everything to fall into place.

“I can’t spend a year without you, Justin. No way.”

“I’ll call, Jace. And write. I promise, it’ll all be worth it in the end.”


And it was, to an extent, worth it in the end.  He ran his hand through his shaggy hair, sighing into the breeze.

And they had done an amazing job of making everyone believe them.

He had played the scared puppy dog role pretty well, if he did say so himself.  He almost had himself believing he was in love with Lance.  

And those nights when Justin would creep into his room, pretending he wasn’t supposed to be there…JC pretending that he didn’t want it…he felt his cock harden at the very thought, and he smiled.

But Lance. God, he felt like shit for hurting that boy.  At the time, when his head was messed up and all he could think about was getting away from the crazy world he lived in, he didn’t care who he hurt.

But now, looking back on it, he felt terrible.  Lance didn’t deserve it. Joey didn’t deserve it, and neither did Chris. They’d ruined lives, broken hearts…

Just to be together.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy. He was amazingly happy, as a matter of fact. He and Justin had spent the past years traveling, living, learning, and loving.  He had never been so happy in all his life.

But it still bothered him.  And he still wondered if they could have gone about it differently.

He sighed and walked back into the bedroom, smiling at the sight of a naked Justin sound asleep on the bed, tangled up in the covers.  

The man he loved.  The man he would be with forever. The man that made his entire world a better place.

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said aloud. “It was worth it.”



Amanda Stories
Back Home

Email: whatweallwishfor@yahoo.com