After getting over the initial shock of what had just
happened, JC pulled himself to his feet and scrubbed the back of his hand over
the stubble on his chin. He reached
in his pocket and fished out his cell phone, dialed Lance’s number, and waited.
One ring. Two. Then three, then four. And
finally, Lance picked up. “Hello?”
he said quietly, sounding as though his voice would crack at any second.
“What were you thinking?”
“Josh, I…I’m sorry, but he…you know how he can be…and he…” Lance
sighed heavily, and JC could almost see him wringing his hands nervously.
JC rubbed the back of his neck, kicking at a rock near his foot. “I
need you to come and get me, Lance. We’ll talk about this when you get here.”
“Where are you?” Lance asked, his deep voice suddenly thick with worry.
“I’m at Pierre’s. Justin left
me here.”
“Fuck…” Lance breathed. “Jace,
I’m sorry…”
“Just come get me Lance. I’ll wait out front.” JC hung up the phone and shoved it back in his pocket. He
trudged outside, hugging himself tightly to defend against the cold breeze that
was blowing.
He leaned against the building and closed his eyes, sliding down the wall as a
vision of Justin flashed in his head. He
shuddered and shook the thought away. He
didn’t want to remember the cold anger in Justin’s eyes, the sneer on his
lips…and he definitely didn’t want to remember Justin’s hands on his body.
The tightness in his groin still lingered, and remembering Justin’s hot breath
on his ear wasn’t helping any.
“Come on, Lance,” he mumbled, hugging himself tighter. He
jumped a little when he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He
pulled it out and looked at the face.
His heart stopped.
It was blinking “Justin”.
JC’s hand shook as he pressed the answer button on his phone, and he closed
his eyes as he lifted it to his ear.
“Hello?”
“What’s up, C?” Justin asked cheerily. JC
could hear the smile in his voice.
“Nothing,” JC said, his voice hushed.
“Where you at?”
Was he serious? Did he not remember what had happened a half an hour ago? How
cruel he’d been? How he’d driven off without even looking back?
“Where the fuck do you think I’m at, Justin?”
“You’re still there? Man, I expected you to call my cell right after I left
and tell me to get my ass back there!” Justin
laughed. “Want me to pick you up?”
“No. Lance is on his way.”
Justin was silent. It was an eerie
silence that JC knew all too well. Justin
was pissed. “Fine. I guess I’ll see you later then.”
A loud click, and Justin was gone.
Pulling his knees to his chest, JC buried his head in his hands, tugging at the
soft curls that fell around his face.
How did he get himself in to this mess? He never should have told Lance how he felt about Justin,
never should have—
“JC?” He looked up and met
Lance’s sad green eyes. “You ok,
man?”
JC didn’t answer, just took the hand Lance offered and pulled himself up from
the sidewalk.
He strode toward Lance’s Toyota, got in and slammed the door, crossing his
arms over his chest as he waited for Lance.
“JC,” Lance said as he slid in to the driver’s seat. “I’m sorry. You
don’t understand, he—“
“Fuck, Lance! Do you know what he did to me?” JC shouted, running his hands
through his hair, his head suddenly aching. “He
backed me up against a wall…pressed himself up against me…Jesus, Lance, the
things he was saying…”
Lance didn’t respond, just kept his eyes glued to the road, both hands
gripping the steering wheel.
“He told me if I even look at him again, he’ll make me regret the day I even
thought about him like that. And then he drove off, just left me there.”
Still no response from Lance. He just sat there, lips pursed.
“Lance!” JC shouted. “Are you even listening to what I’m saying?”
Lance nodded, still not looking at JC.
“Do you even care? Fuck, Lance, this is all your fault and you’re just
sitting there like it’s no big deal.”
Lance thought about the comment. Do you even care? Of course he cared. He
cared more than he should.
“You know I care, JC. And you
know I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand why you told him, Lance. Why? What secret could you have
that’s so horrible that you had to tell mine to keep it?”
“It’s nothing. But you know how Justin can be…so threatening…it’s
almost like he’s crazy…” Lance thought back to earlier that day, when
Justin had cornered him in the studio
“I see the way he looks at me, Lance,” Justin had whispered, his face inches
from Lance’s. “I’m suspicious
already. I just need someone to
confirm it so I can know for sure.”
Lance avoided Justin’s gaze, the steel glare of his eyes. “I
don’t know what you’re talking about, Justin. You’re imagining things.”
“And I suppose I’m also imagining the fact that you’re in love with
him.”
Lance froze. His heart stopped in his chest, and his pale green eyes widened at
Justin’s revelation.
Justin grinned, a sly grin that gave Lance chills. “You love him, Lance. You want to be with him. You want to
kiss him, and touch him…” He leaned closer and whispered, “You want to
fuck him.”
Lance felt his cheeks flush. Justin
grabbed his face roughly, forcing Lance to look at him. “But JC doesn’t know that. And I’m sure you don’t want
JC to know that…do you Lance?”
Lance shook his head slowly, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid Justin’s stare. JC
couldn’t know that Lance loved him, couldn’t know that everything Lance did
was for him. He knew how JC felt about Justin, and he knew JC would never
feel that way about him.
He couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk losing his friendship with JC, because
he would die without it.
And so he told Justin. Told him
everything. “Yes, Justin, he
wants you. Craves you. Dreams about you. Jacks
off to fantasies of you.”
Everything.
Just to keep his own secret.
“Lance?”
He felt like such a coward.
“Lance!”
JC’s voice jolted him back to reality, and he looked over into the deep blue
of his friend’s eyes.
“Oh…sorry, Jace, guess I zoned out for a minute there.”
JC sighed, leaning his head against the window. “What am I going to do, Lance? He’s not going to make this easy.”
“I’m sorry, JC. I’m really, really sorry…”
They pulled up to the house that he, Justin, and Lance shared, and
Lance parked the car. A gnawing
feeling was growing in the pit of JC’s stomach. He
didn’t want to see Justin, but he had no idea where he was, so avoiding him
wasn’t even a possibility. But
the house was dark; Justin wasn't home.
Lance followed JC up the walkway, hanging back a bit to give him the space he so
obviously wanted. JC slid his key
in the lock and pushed the door open, flipping the light on as quickly as he
could.
Lance placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You wanna watch a movie or
something?"
"No thanks, man. I'm just going to head up to bed. It's been a long
day." JC sighed, slipping off
his shoes before trudging upstairs to his bedroom.
He didn't even bother to turn the light on, just peeled his shirt over his head
and shucked off his pants before flopping down on the bed. Too
hot for blankets tonight, he thought, resting one hand on his stomach and
the other behind his head.
He closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep, but memories of Justin's hands on his
body danced through his head. The feeling of Justin hot breath on his neck,
Justin's tongue on his ear...
With his hand, he toyed with the waistband of his boxer briefs, pressing them
down below his cock to relieve the pressure on his growing erection. He
began to stroke himself softly, slowly, quietly moaning Justin's name.
"So it's true." JC nearly
jumped out of his skin when he heard the voice. "You do think about me when you're jacking off."