What could be taking him so long? Lance
wrung his hands anxiously, staring at the phone, willing it to ring. Please
tell me he’s wrong…tell me that everything’s ok…
JC heard voices, loud voices, two people screaming at each other…his head was
pounding, pain seared through his ribs. But
he could breathe again. There was no longer a heavy weight on his back, another
body pressed to his against his will.
The threat was gone.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Justin?” Joey bellowed.
“Stay the fuck out of it, Joe! You have no idea what’s going on here!”
Justin countered.
“Oh yeah? Well, to me it looks
like you were forcing yourself on Josh. And in my book, that is NOT ok.”
“He wanted it.”
“Then why is he all bloody? Why was he screaming no?’”
Justin didn’t answer. His
expressing went blank, his blue eyes clouded with guilt. He glanced over at JC, saw the blood on the floor, the blood
on JC’s face.
“No,” he breathed. “I would never hurt him.” He crept slowly towards JC as Joey watched, frowning.
“Josh,” he whispered, kneeling down next to JC. “Josh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
baby, so sorry…” He smoothed JC’s hair down tenderly, placed
gentle kisses on his forehead.
What the fuck is going on? Joey wondered, scratching his head in
confusion.
Justin swept JC up in his arms, carried the naked man into the living room,
wrapping a blanket around him as he wiped the blood from JC’s face.
The warm fuzz on the blanket felt soothing on JC’s bare skin, and he closed
his eyes, wishing this all to be over.
Justin nuzzled his nose into JC’s neck. Hot tears dropped on JC’s skin, but they weren’t his own
tears. They were Justin’s.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” he mumbled into JC’s skin as he wrapped his
arms around the older man’s waist. “I
didn’t mean it…”
“Josh?” Joey called, stepping into the living room. “Are you ok?”
JC looked up at Joey with sad eyes and shook his head, cool tears dripping down
his cheeks.
“Do you want me to get him off of you?” Joey said, glaring at Justin.
Again, JC shook his head, looking down at the sobbing man wrapped around him. “Justin,”
JC whispered. “Look at me.”
Justin sniffed, wiped his face on his arm. He lifted his eyes to meet JC’s.
“You can’t do this any more, Justin.”
Justin nodded, tears still streaming down his face.
“We aren’t together. We never were together. We won’t ever be together.”
JC spoke softly, with a tenderness that only Justin understood. “Do
you understand that?”
Justin shook his head. “But I love you.”
JC sighed, kissed the top of Justin’s head. “And I love Lance.”
“No. You love me.”
“You’re right, Justin. I do love you…but I don’t love you like I love
Lance.”
Fresh tears poured from Justin’s eyes, and he once again buried his face in
JC’s neck.
JC looked up at Joey, whose mouth was gaping open. “What the hell is going on here, Josh?”
JC sighed heavily, closing his eyes from a moment. “I’ll explain it all later, Joe. Take Justin. Put him to bed, stay there with him.”
Joey nodded, stepped closer to the two men and put his hands on Justin’s
shoulders. Justin’s whole body
jerked, and he glared at Joey icily. “No!
Get off of me!”
“Justin…” JC whispered. “It’s
ok, Justin. Go with Joey.”
Justin looked up at JC with wide, childlike eyes, eyes that made JC wonder how
any of this could have ever happened.
“It’ll be ok, Justin. I promise.”
“You won’t leave?”
“I won’t leave.” Justin stood up reluctantly, allowed Joey to lead him
upstairs to his room, leaving JC alone on the couch, blanket wrapped tightly
around him.
He reached for the phone, dialed, and waited.
He didn’t have to wait long.
“Hello!?” came Lance’s voice.
“Lance.”
Lance sucked in a breath, closed his eyes. “Josh.”
“Come over. Please. I need to see you.”
“I’m on my way.”
A click, and Lance was gone.
JC waited thought about getting up and getting dressed, but decided against it.
He was too tired, too weak, too shattered. So he sat on the couch, closed his eyes, and waited.
He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, Lance was by his
side, stroking his hair, head against his shoulder.
“Lance,” he breathed, kissing the top of Lance’s head, breathing in the
scent of his freshly washed hair.
“You’re awake.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“What the hell happened, Josh? There’s
blood on your face, blood on the floor…” When Lance had walked in the house,
he’d seen the red stains in the entry way, and his entire body had frozen. When
he found JC curled up on the couch, he knew instantly that the red stains were
JC’s blood. They matched the red stains on JC’s face.
“Don’t be mad at him, Lance…he doesn’t know what he’s
doing…he’s…” Tears dripped
from JC’s eyes and he bit back the sob that was escaping from his throat.
“Jace, you have to tell me what happened…please, baby, tell me what
happened. “
JC took a deep breath, looked down into the endless green that was Lance’s
eyes. “Justin. He…”
“It’s ok, baby,” Lance cooed, still stroking JC’s hair. “You
can tell me.”
“He…Lance, he…” he
couldn’t hold back the sobs now; his whole body was shaking. Lance
wrapped his arms tightly around his lover, kissing the tears from his cheeks,
whispering calming words into his ear.
“You can tell me, Josh. I love you, you can tell me.”
JC looked at Lance, looked at the man he loved, the man he lived for. And told
him. Told him the hardest thing
he’d ever had to tell anyone.
“He raped me.”