Part 5


JC awoke to feel warm arms wrapped around his waist. He felt a soft breath on his neck and the rise and fall of someone's chest on his back.  What had happened last night, and whose arms was he laying in?

He turned carefully, not wanting to wake his mystery lover.  His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he found Justin lying behind him.  Slowly, he slipped out from Justin's arms and out of the room, so shocked he was unable to catch a breath.  He found his own room and fell on to his bed, trying to remember what exactly had happened last night.  

Ok, JC, think...you were drinking, and Chris, Joey, and Lance left you and Justin alone....but then what?  He remembered asking Justin about the dream...

Shit. That was it. Justin had had a dream about HIM...that's what started it all.  It all came flooding back...the kissing, the touching, the heat between their naked bodies as they lay intertwined on Justin's bed.

"NO," JC said angrily, sitting up on the bed and frowing at himself in the mirror. "No. I am not gay."

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Justin woke slowly.  A small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth, and he reached out for JC.  He only found air.  His eyes opened and he realized JC was gone.  Sighing, he rolled over on his back, one hand behind his head, ankles crossed.  He smiled thinking about the night before...about how gentle JC had been...how he hadn't persisted when Justin told him he wasn't ready.

He brought his fingers up to touch his lips, remembering the feel of JC's soft mouth on his own.  He smiled again, wishing JC was next to him so he could bring that feeling back.  

Justin never thought he was gay.  He didn't think he was gay now.  He was never big with labels;  he just knew that this felt right.  

He swung his legs off the bed, standing and stretching as he headed for the shower.  He let the hot water pour over him, and he closed his eyes, picturing JC.  Those chiseled cheekbones, those shimmering blue eyes, those soft, completely kissable lips...JC was irrisistable.

Justin realized he was getting hard thinking about his friend.  Maybe I should pay Josh a visit, he thought with a devilish grin on his face.  

He threw a towel around his waist, not bothering to dry off.  He crossed the hall to JC's room and knocked lightly on the door.  No response.  He knocked again, harder this time.  

"Just a second!"  came the muffled reply.  

The door swung open and Justin's eyes met JC's.  To Justin's surprise, JC looked away immediately.  Justin's smile faded from his lips.  He placed a soft hand beneath JC's chin.

"What's wrong, Josh?"

JC didn't answer, just backed away from Justin's touch.  

Justin looked closely at JC, trying to figure out what was going through his head. JC's forehead was crinkled in a frown; he seemed anxious, nervous.

"Josh?"

"Justin, just...just go."  JC walked back into his room and closed the door, leaving Justin to stand there, tears welling up in his eyes.

"But JC..." Justin whispered to the closed door.  "You said you loved me."

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"Rise and shine, sleepy head!"  Chris was jumping up and down on Justin's bed, trying to wake him from the nap he'd decided he needed to take.  

"Mrrmrmmmr...." Justin groaned into his pillow, swinging blindly at Chris with one arm.  

"Get up, man! We get to go HOME! To our HOMES! Where we LIVE!"  

Justin didn't look up.  He didn't want Chris to see his red, puffy eyes, or his tear-stained cheeks.  
"Go away, man. I'm gettin' up."

"Fine, but I'm coming back in ten minutes, and your ass BETTER be out of this bed or I'm going to tickle you to DEATH!" Chris said with an evil laugh. "Your fans will be none too pleased if you are dead!"

Justin heard the door slam as Chris left, and he rolled over on his back.  He thought about what the bus ride home would be like.  Judging by JC's reaction to Justin's visit earlier that morning, he figured there would be complete silence between the two of them the whole ride.

Great, Justin thought.  Should be loads of fun.

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JC sat in the back of the bus, huddled in the corner, staring out the window.  Justin couldn't stop looking at him. He just wanted to get JC's attention, wanted him to look in his eyes.  But JC ignored all Justin's attempts.

"Hey, C, wanna play Sonic with me?"  No response.  JC shifted slightly, his back now completely facing Justin.

Justin sighed dejectedly, trying to fight the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"Josh, what's your deal today?" Joey asked, punching JC playfully in the arm.

"Nothing."

"Oh, yeah, right.  You haven't said two words since we got on the bus, and you've just been staring out the window the whole time.  Usually you have the phone attached to your ear or you're jammin' on the keyboard."

"I'm fine."

Joey plopped himself down next to JC, draping a heavy arm around his shoulder.

"You miss her?"

JC didn't respond, just shook Joey away and closed his eyes.  He thought of Justin.  How soft his lips were, how good it felt to feel the contours of his chest against his own.  And he got angry.  Angry at Justin and angry at himself.

"C, come on, man, cheer up!" Joey said, nudging JC softly in the ribs.  

"Get the fuck away from me, Joe," JC growled, standing up and pushing past Joey.  

"JC!" Justin yelled, but JC ignored him once again and headed to his bunk, where he buried himself in the covers and hugged his pillow to his face to aborb the hot tears that were falling down his cheeks.

Joey looked to Justin, who had a desperate look on as face as he gazed toward JC's bunk.  

"J, what's going on?" Joey asked, concerned about the behavior of his two friends.

"I..." Justin looked at Joey with hurt in his eyes.  "I don't know, Joe."  He walked away and fell into his own bunk, rolling on his side to face JC's.  They always had bunks across from one another; that's how it had always been, because they'd always been the closest.  And now, because of one stupid, insignifcant feeling I had one night, Justin thought, I went and fucked everything up.  

Justin lay there, staring at JC, hoping he would notice and look back.  Just as Justin thought he would, JC turned his head.

"Justin, stop fucking staring at me." JC whispered in an irritated tone.

"I'm sorry," Justin mouthed, his expression sad.

Justin swore he saw the corners of JC's mouth rise just a little before JC covered his face up again.  He suddenly felt relieved, like maybe things would be ok.  He closed his eyes and let the soft bouncing of the bus ease him to sleep.



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