Part 8


This would be a lot easier if I knew where I was going, Justin thought, suddenly frustrated. He’d been driving around for over an hour and hadn’t seen anything that caught his attention.

He sighed dejectedly. One more neighborhood and I’m going home, he thought. “Home?” He smiled at the thought of Lance’s home being his. Lance had been so good to him, so sweet, and Justin felt like he owed him everything. It had only been a few days, but Justin felt like he’d known Lance forever. “Definitely someone I could fall in love with,” he said aloud, lifting his fingers to his mouth, remembering Lance’s lips on his.

He pulled the car over and got out, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked along the sidewalk. His eyes wandered over the large houses along the street, smiling at the children playing in their front yards.

And then someone was clinging to his leg, tugging at his pants. He froze in place, losing his breath, heart beating wildly.

“Justin!” yelled a little voice. The little voice giggled and yelled his name again. “Justin! It’s you!”

He looked down at his leg and saw a small girl with blonde hair and pigtails, her bright blue eyes dancing up at him. “I missed you, Justin! You haven’t played with me in forever!” She frowned slightly, scratching her head. “You don’t have curly hair anymore.”

She knows who I am, he thought, nervous and excited and terrified all at the same time. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” he said, smiling at the little girl.

She frowned up at him, a pout on her tiny lips. “You don’t remember me?”

He smiled sadly and knelt down in front of her. “I’ve been gone for a long time, sweetheart,” he said, patting her on the head. “I don’t remember a lot of things.”

She folded her arms and continued to pout, frowning at Justin. He laughed and tickled her playfully. “Come on, sugar, where’s that smile?”

She giggled and smiled brightly, throwing her arms around his neck. “I missed you!” He laughed as he watched her bounce around in front of him, giggling happily. “Did you come to move back in your house, Justin?” she asked excitedly.

My house… he thought, his throat tightening.

“Which one is it, cutie?” he asked anxiously.

She shook her head at him. “Silly Justin, it’s there,” she said, pointing. “Right across the street.”

He stood up and took a deep breath before turning around slowly, eyes closed.

“What’s wrong, Justin? Why are your eyes closed?”

“Nothing, sugar,” he said softly, allowing his eyes to open.

And there it was. He crossed the street, his heart ready to explode, and stood in front of the house, his eyes to close once again.

Justin, it’s perfect! Can you believe how perfect it is? It has everything we wanted, and it’s just PERFECT!

“It’s perfect…”

We just made love for the first time in our new house, baby. OUR house. Just me and you.

“I love you.”

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Justin, Happy Birthday to you!

“You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

I did it, Justin! I got the job! I’m producing Britney Spears’ album! Can you believe it? I mean, I’ve had jobs like this before, but I REALLY wanted this one!

“Congratulations, baby, you deserve it!”

I love you, Justin. I’ll see you when I get home from work.

“I love you too. I’ll be waiting.”

Let’s go, pretty boy. If I can’t have Josh, no one can.

“No, please, I love him, please, no!”

You’re never going to see him again.

“NO!” He collapsed in a heap on the sidewalk, his body shaking violently.

And he remembered. Remembered JC, remembered buying the house together, remembered making love to JC every night, remembered how famous JC had become, remembered the last time he saw him.

“Justin?” came the same small voice. “Are you ok?”

And he remembered Ashley, the little girl across the street that he and JC used to watch every Wednesday night. “Ashley…”

She smiled at him and wiped a tear from his cheek. “See? I knew you remembered.”

“Ash, honey. Does…” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Does JC still live here?”

Her face fell and she shook her head. “No…when you went away, he went away too.”

“Do you know where?”

“No…I don’t know where he went. I was sad for a long time. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”

“Can you stay and play with me.”

He shook his head sadly and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry, baby girl, but I can’t. I have to go.”

“Can you babysit me again?”

“No, honey. I’m sorry.”

“But why?”

“I just can’t, sugar. It’s complicated. But I need you to do me a favor, ok baby girl?”

She nodded.

“Don’t tell anyone that you saw me, ok?”

“But—“

“For me, Ashley? For Juju?”

She sighed and threw her arms around his waist. “Ok.”

“Ok.” He stood up and walked her across the street, kissing the top of her head. “Goodbye, Ashley. You be a good girl, ok?”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I have to.” He sighed and turned away, walking down the sidewalk, shaking as he got in the car and drove away.

“Mommy, Mommy!” Ashley yelled, bounding into the house. “Guess who I just saw?”




Justin gripped the wheel tightly, teeth chattering, legs shaking. He was back at Lance’s, parked in the garage, but he couldn’t bring himself to get out of the car. He didn’t know what to do.

Part of him wanted to forget what he saw. Forget about the house, forget about Ashley, forget about JC. It had only been a few days, but he already had these feelings for Lance…feelings he couldn’t just shut off. The kiss they shared had sparked something inside Justin, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to let it go.

But the other part of him, the part that remembered everything, wanted it back. Wanted the house, and the neighborhood, and JC, back. He closed his eyes and was met with an image of JC, his shaggy brown hair, shimmering blue eyes, soft pink lips. He smiled remembering those lips on his neck, on his chest, on his—

His eyes snapped open and he shook the thought away, deciding at that moment that he wouldn’t think about it anymore. It was in the past…and the past was what he wanted to forget. Isn’t that what he’d told Lance? That he didn’t want to remember it, he just wanted to get past it?

He took a deep breath and got out of the car, smiling when he opened the door to the house. Yes, this is definitely where he wanted to be.



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