Part 6


Justin sat at the edge of his bed, wringing his hands, a million thoughts running through his head.

Why did he let Britney kiss him?  She was an amazing person, but he knew he shouldn’t be leading her on.
Was he trying to make Josh jealous?  Probably, he thought to himself, falling back onto the bed.  

I’m such a jerk. Using a great girl like Britney to find out if Josh is gay.

He shook his head and sat back up. “Josh is not gay,” he said aloud, almost laughing at himself for thinking something so stupid.

He peeled his shirt over his head and kicked off his pants before crawling under his covers and turning off the light, promising himself he’d tell Britney tomorrow that they could only be friends.

Across the hall, Josh heard a soft knock at his door.  It was Britney; he’d know her knock anywhere.  He burrowed deeper into the covers and silently begged her to go away.  But she just knocked harder.

“Josh, I know you’re awake,” came her voice, muffled through the door.

He groaned and threw the covers aside.  “Britney, I’m trying to sleep,” he called, scrubbing his hands through his hair.

“Joshua, you never go to bed before midnight, and it’s only 10:00. Now open the door.”

He sighed and walked to the door, unlocking it, but not opening it.  He turned and crawled back into his bed. “It’s open.”

He heard her walk in, heard her shut and lock the door, and felt the bed shift just slightly as she sat down.  She ran her fingers through his hair and sighed.

“What’s the matter?”

He didn’t answer, just rolled on his side and pulled the covers to his chin.

“Josh, come on, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“You saw me kiss Justin.”

His eyes snapped open and he looked up at her with wide eyes. “What?”

She smiled softly and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “You heard me.”

He closed his eyes and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Yeah, I do.”  

She frowned, wondering what he could be apologizing for. “I can’t think of anything.”

“That’s because I haven’t told you yet.”

Her stomach flipped.  “Josh…what did you do?”

“It’s nothing I did, Brit. I would never do anything to hurt you or piss you off, you know that. I’m just…I’m sorry that I got pissed off when I saw you kiss Justin.”

“I knew it.”

His brow furrowed and he rolled onto his back, propping himself up on both elbows.  “Knew what?”

“I knew you were going to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Get pissed off about Justin and I. Josh, you told me I could go out with him.”

“I know I did, Brit, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less,” he said, reaching out for her. She backed away and rose from the bed, anger burning in her eyes.

“God damn it, Josh. Why do you have to do this, huh? I really, really  like him, and then you go and pull the ‘it hurts’ crap.”

“Brit, I’m sorry…I didn’t think it would bother me, I really didn’t…I just…it killed me to see you with him.”

Tears formed in her eyes, and she didn’t even bother to blink them away.  “Jesus, Josh, I never would have gone out with him if I’d have known it bothered you that much. You know I love you, baby…I never wanted to hurt you…you should have told me…”  The tears in her eyes now slid down her cheeks, and she sat down on the bed and buried her face in her hands.  Josh wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him.

“Shhh, baby, it’s ok…I’m sorry…please don’t cry.”

She pulled away from him and looked into his pleading blue eyes.  “It’s ok, Josh…I understand.  I won’t see him anymore.”

“Brit, you don’t have to—“

She put a finger on his lips to silence him, then forced a smile. “Yeah I do, Josh. You mean everything to me, and I want you to be happy. I’m not going to see him anymore.” She smiled, then blushed.

He cocked his head at her. “What?”

“Well…I’ll probably still see him…just not date him. That ok?”

“I’m such an ass.”

“No you’re not, babe. I understand, I really do.”

“Thanks, Brit.  I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too, Josh,” she whispered, kissing him on the top of the head.  “I’m gonna go break my date with Justin for tomorrow.”

“Brit, you don’t have to. Really.”

“Yeah I do, Josh. As much as I like Justin, I’ve known you for too long to hurt you like this.”

Josh sighed and buried his face in Britney’s shoulder. “You’re the best, Brit. Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me.”

“Because I love you. Now get some sleep. Or whatever it is you were planning on doing in here,” she laughed.  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“K, babe. Love you.”

“Love you too, Josh.”  She left the room and leaned against the door, staring at the door to Justin’s room. He never said I couldn’t hang out with him…he just doesn’t want me to date him.  She took a deep breath and knocked on Justin’s door.

The door swung open and there stood Justin, sleepy eyed and nearly naked, clothed only in thin boxers.
Britney blushed and looked away. “Oh god, Justin, I’m sorry…”

Justin laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, Brit. Not like I’m naked or something.”

“Yeah. Guess not.”

“So what’s up?”

“Oh. Yeah. Um…about tomorrow…” She frowned and looked the floor, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“What about it? You gonna ditch me?” he asked, grinning.

“No…not really…I just…”

“Brit? You ok?”

“Yeah. Justin…I can’t…I can’t see you anymore. I mean…I can…but only as friends.”

Now it was Justin’s turn to frown, confusion swirling in his thoughts. “Ok…”

“I can’t explain, so don’t ask, but I do still want to be your friend, because you’re a great guy.”

“Were you just with Josh?” Justin asked. Where the hell did that come from?

She nodded, avoiding Justin’s eyes.

“And is that why you can only be friends with me?”

She nodded again.

“Care to explain?”

“Justin…I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t. Please understand,” she said quietly, reaching for his hand, then looking up to meet his eyes. “Please?”

“We still gonna hang out tomorrow?” he asked, grinning.  He was relieved when she smiled.

“Yeah, we’re still gonna hang out tomorrow. See you at noon?”

“Yep, noon.” Then maybe I can get you to explain why Josh doesn’t want you to see me anymore, he thought, closing the door and trying not to get his hopes up.



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