No, Justin thought, stumbling back into the
bedroom, searching for his clothes. This isn’t happening…please tell me
this isn’t happening…
A hand on his back startled him, and he spun around to see Chris standing before
him, grinning. “What’s wrong, baby?”
Justin narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Fuck you,” he spat. “Nothing
happened. I know nothing happened…this is just some sick game…nothing
happened…”
“You keep telling yourself that, baby boy.”
Justin clenched his fist, and before he knew what he was doing, that fist
connected with Chris’s face, knocking him to the floor. Blood spilled from his
nose and he shook his head. “What the fuck?”
Justin finally found his pants and slid them on, not caring about his shirt or
his socks or his shoes. He needed to find Josh. Needed to make it right.
He stepped over Chris and flew down the stairs and out the front door, running
across campus as fast as he could.
He hoped Joey would be gone when he got there. He just needed to talk to Josh,
needed to tell him that he didn’t want Chris to be doing those things to him,
that it was against his will.
When he finally got to his building, Joey was on the way out.
He grabbed Justin’s arm roughly, pulling him back. “Leave him the fuck alone,
do you hear me? You stay away from him. He doesn’t want to see you.”
Justin’s heart dropped to his feet and he didn’t even try to stop the tears
from streaming down his cheeks. “Joey, you don’t under—“
“I don’ t want to hear it, Justin. I don’t want to fucking here it. Get
out of my face.” And with that, he stormed off.
“Fuck,” Justin muttered, climbing the stairs to his floor, trudging down the
hallway, and stopping between his door and Josh’s door.
He put his ear to Josh’s door and could hear the sobs echoing in the room. His
heart shattered in his chest, and he tried his best not to start sobbing himself.
Because he didn’t mean for it to happen. He didn’t remember…he was tricked…
He took a deep breath and turned the knob, praying the door was unlocked.
Luck was on his side, and he pushed the door open, stepping inside hesitantly,
then shutting the door behind him.
“Go away, Justin,” came Josh’s muffled voice, choked with sobs.
“No.”
Josh didn’t respond, simply hugged his pillow tighter and cried harder. He
tensed when he felt Justin’s hand on his back. “Don’t touch me.”
“I love you,” Justin whispered, tears gathering at the corners of his mouth.
“You don’t love me. You never loved me. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have…you
wouldn’t have…” He couldn’t finish. He was crying too hard to breathe.
“Josh, please, baby, listen, let me explain,” Justin cried, his heart
breaking with each sob that racked Josh’s body.
“Get out, Justin.”
“Please, Josh,” Justin begged, falling to his knees beside the bed. “No…please,
I can’t live without you, please.”
Josh didn’t answer, just pulled the covers over his head and cried.
“I’m sorry, Josh…” Justin whispered, pulling himself to his feet and
dragging his body to his room.
He fell onto his bed, buried his face in his pillow, and tried to sleep,
silently hoping that he’d never wake up.
The phone startled him from his sleep. He reached over to answer, hoping against
hope that it was Josh.
“Hello?” he said softly, tears still in his voice.
“Justin?”
Justin frowned, trying to place the voice. “Yeah.”
“Are you ok? You sound upset.”
“Who is this?”
“Lance.”
Great, he thought. Just what I need. But Lance’s voice was
comforting, and he needed someone to talk to.
“You still there, Justin?”
Justin sighed and wiped away the fresh tears. “Yeah,” he whispered, falling
back onto his bed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
”Justin Timberlake, I know you better than that. What’s wrong?”
“Why are you calling me, Lance?”
Lance was silent for a moment, and Justin heard him sigh. “I miss you,” he
said quietly. “I’m sorry…I just…I’m not trying to interfere in your
relationship with Josh, I just—“
“There is no relationship. Not anymore.”
“What?”
“I…I don’t know what happened, Lance…I was at this party…and then…I
don’t know…I woke up this morning…and I didn’t know where I was…” he
was crying now, and he stopped to catch his breath. “And I was naked…and
someone…someone was…”
“It’s ok, Justin…it’s ok…take your time…”
“Someone was on top of me…kissing me…and I was saying no…but I was
so…sleepy…and Josh walked in…” That’s where he lost it. He was sobbing
uncontrollably, his body shaking, gasping for breath. “I didn’t mean it,
Lance…it’s not my fault…”
“Shh, Justin, it’s ok,” Lance said, trying his best to comfort Justin over
the phone. “Do you want to come over, J? I can come pick you up, get you out
of there for awhile…I know it must be hard, with him right across the
hall…”
Justin thought about it. He could sit here, miserable, and wonder what Josh was
doing ten feet away from him. Or he could get out of here, be with Lance, have
someone to talk to.
He rubbed his nose, wiped his eyes, and sat up. “Be here in twenty minutes.”