“Hello?”
“Hey Josh.”
“Hey Brit, what’s up?”
“Justin.”
Josh scratched his stomach and sat up. “What?”
“You should talk to him, Josh…Lance screwed him over. Big time.”
He frowned and stood up grabbing a pair of pants from the floor. “Fuck.
Already?”
“Yeah. He’s pretty broken up about it. Think he could use a friend right now.”
“What are you smiling about?”
She giggled. Josh knew her so well. “Smiling? How do you know I’m smiling?”
“I know, Britney.”
“Just go get your boy, ok?”
Josh laughed, saying a quick goodbye before hanging up and heading to Justin’s
room.
He rapped lightly on the door, which was open a crack. “Justin?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah.”
The room was dark; Justin was watching a movie curled up in the blankets of his
bed. Josh could see his curls peeking out from under the blanket, and he smiled
softly.
“Mind if I sit?”
“No.”
He sat on the floor in front of Justin, crossing his hands on the bed and
resting his chin on them.
“You ok?”
Justin shrugged, the blankets shifting with the movement.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“You’ll just say I told you so anyway. And I’m sure Britney already told
you.”
“No, I won’t say that, and no, she just said that you were upset.” Josh
saw the tears glittering in Justin’s eyes and fought the urge to lean forward
and kiss them away. Instead, he
reached up and smooth Justin’s curls out of his eyes. “You
can talk to me, Justin.”
“You were right.”
Josh frowned, continuing to run his fingers through Justin’s hair. “About
what?”
“Lance.”
Josh leaned in closer to Justin, his hand now rubbing the back of Justin’s
neck. “What happened?”
“He’s got a boyfriend. Nick still. He’s living with him.”
“How did you find this out?” Josh asked.
“I called…and the answering machine picked up…This is Lance, and his
baby boy Nick.”
Justin tried to stop the tears from falling, but he couldn’t help it. “I
should have listened to you, Josh.”
“No, Justin…you didn’t know…” Josh whispered, swiping the pad of his
thumb across Justin’s cheek to catch the tears.
“Why are you being so nice to me, Josh? I was an ass to you, and you were just
trying to help.”
I’m being so nice to you because I want to be with you. “Justin…”
“Hmmm?”
Josh sighed heavily and crawled onto the bed next to Justin, sitting indian
style next to him.
“I have to tell you some stuff. . And you might be mad at me, but I can’t
keep it from you anymore.”
“Ok…” Justin said, propping himself up on both elbows and preparing
himself for the worst.
“Um…I kinda…um…” he ran his hand through his hair, pausing to rub the
back of his neck.
“Josh, come on. You’re making me nervous here.”
“Justin, I knew you were gay before you told me,” Josh said quickly,
avoiding eye contact with Justin.
Justin’s eyes widened and his heart stopped in his chest. “W-what?”
“I’m sorry Justin, I should have told you, but I didn’t know what to say,
and…” He looked into Justin’s eyes, those beautiful blue eyes that had
drawn him to Justin in the first place, and his heart broke.
Because the pain in Justin’s eyes was evident. And Josh had put that pain there.
“How did you know?” Justin whispered.
Josh scooted closer to Justin and played with his hair again, and Justin closed
his eyes and leaned in to the touch, his heart beating a mile a minute. Josh
is touching me…was all he could think.
“That morning I came into your room looking for you…I…”
“You saw the photo album.”
Josh frowned, his hand frozen in Justin’s curls.
“Don’t stop,” Justin whispered, not realizing he was saying the words out
loud until Josh’s hand started moving again.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, Justin,” Josh said, trying to keep his
voice from quivering. Justin’s
hair was like silk under his fingers, and he felt like his heart was going to
beat right through his chest. “But
I figured you had a good reason for not telling me…so I didn’t want to
spring it on you that I already knew.”
I didn’t tell you because I want you.
“Josh, I—“
“Shh, Justin, there’s more,” Josh whispered, scooting even closer to
Justin. He leaned forward, his
mouth inches from Justin ear, his hand still tangled in Justin’s hair. “I’m gay too.”
Justin swallowed thickly as Josh pressed his lips to his neck, flicked his
tongue across Justin’s ear lobe.
“Josh…we can’t…” Justin breathed, well aware of the hardness in
Josh’s pants, and also well aware of the hardness in his own. But he couldn’t do this. Not yet.
“Shh, Justin, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, ok? I
just want to hold you.”
Justin’s heart fluttered in his chest as Josh gathered him in his arms and
held him tight.
“What do you say we turn that movie off and get some sleep? Classes start
tomorrow, you don’t want to be sleeping through them,” Josh said, smiling
down at the younger man.
Justin nodded, and JC stood to turn off the television, sending the room into
sudden darkness. He giggled as he ran into a chair on the way back to the bed.
“You ok?” Justin asked into the dark.
“I’m fine. Did you set your alarm?”
“Yeah. Bright and early.”
“Justin, if you don’t want me to stay—“
Justin lifted up the blankets and patted the bed, inviting Josh to join him. Josh
crawled in and wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist, sighing happily when
Justin nuzzled against him.
“Good night, Justin,” he whispered, kissing the top of Justin’s head.
“Night, Josh,” Justin whispered back, falling asleep with a smile on his
face.