Part 9


Somehow, he managed to track Josh down.

With a little help from Joey, that is, who had a friend of a friend of a friend of Josh’s. Her name was Britney, and she called Karen Chasez, Josh’s mother, to get Josh’s current address, and Karen was happy to oblige. She’d always loved Britney, secretly hoping that someday Josh would “come to his senses” and marry her.

That’s what Britney had told him, anyway, when she called him to give him the address.

He was a little shocked when he got the phone call, because she was extremely perky on the phone and acted as if they’d met a million times before.

“Justin, sweetie, it’s Britney!”

“Um…yes?”

“I’m Joey’s friend’s John’s friend’s Chrissy’s friend.”

Justin blinked, trying to comprehend what she’s just blabbered.

“You know, Josh’s friend.”

And OH, that’s what she meant.

“Oh! Oh, hi!” he exclaimed, gripping the phone with a strength he didn’t know he had.

“How are you?”

“Fine,” he replied, already tiring of the small talk she was attempting to make.

“Well, I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m calling.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“I found Josh’s address for you.”

He took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “That’s great,” he said. “Thank you.”

“But I’ll only give it to you if you promise you’re not going to break his heart.”

“What?”

“He’s been through a lot, Justin. A whole hell of a lot. And I don’t want to see him hurt again. Understand? I don’t know you; I’m going out on a limb by helping you, but from what I hear, Joey thinks you’re a good guy. Thinks you’re worth it.”

“I love him.”

Britney was silent on the other end, and Justin waited, biting at his thumb.

With a sigh, she gave him the address, promising to hunt him down and kill him if he hurt her friend.

“Thanks,” he whispered, hanging the phone up with a soft click and staring at the paper in his hand.

Life was about taking risks, he decided, grabbing the notebook behind him and starting.

Josh,

I bet you didn’t expect to hear from me, huh?

I don’t really know where to start.

Except to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I walked away. I’m sorry that I didn’t let you in. I’m sorry that I let my fears and insecurities get the best of me.

Most of all, I’m sorry that I let you go.

When I found out about the money…I was shocked. Really shocked.

And my first thought was, “He’s only doing it because he feels bad for me.”

Why would a gorgeous, talented, amazing, wealthy man like you want someone like me?

I’m 24 years old, I had two dead-end jobs, a four-year-old daughter, and I lived in a shitty apartment above a discount video store.

So I did the only thing I know how to do.

I ended it.

Put it on my list of biggest regrets.

And now comes the big announcement. The one that could make or break the risk I’m taking by writing you this letter.

I love you.

I’m head over heels for you, Josh, and it’s not going away. I thought, at first, that maybe I was just flattered by the attention, or that I’d been alone for so long that I didn’t know what love was anymore.

But when I saw you take the stage that night at the club, something inside me…I just knew. I knew I’d love you forever. I think I probably loved you before I even knew you.

So this is me, laying it all on the line.

I don’t care about the money, I don’t want the money…

I just want you.

You know where I live. You have the number.

I’m here.

Love always,

Justin

With a lick of the envelope, a scribble of the address, and the sticking of the stamp, the letter was on it’s way.

Justin only hoped it would make it to the only place it needed to be.

Josh’s heart.

Josh sat curled into the cushions of his couch, pencil tapping out the rhythm he had pounding in his head. He chewed on the eraser before scrawling a few words to go along with the beat, brow furrowing in concentration.

“Mr. Chasez,” came his maid’s voice. “The mail has arrived.”

He looked up and smiled at her, nodding. “Thanks, Evie. Just set it on the table there. And you know what? Why don’t you go home for the day? It’s gorgeous outside, take your kids to the park or something.”

She smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Mr. Chasez,” she gushed, thankful for such a generous boss.

“No problem. Have fun.”

She nodded, setting the mail on the coffee table and hurrying out.

He sighed, reaching for his glasses and pushing them up onto his nose as he thumbed through the mail.

Nothing too interesting. A few magazines, a letter from his mother.

“What’s this?” he wondered aloud, coming to an envelope, handwritten with his name but without a return address.

He slid the envelope open and pulled out the paper inside, inhaling sharply when he realized who it was from.

His eyes sucked the words in greedily, hoping against hope that the letter read what he needed to hear.

Three little words captured his attention, and his gaze remained locked there.

I love you.

Finally, Josh blinked. He looked at the words again, making sure he wasn’t seeing things that weren’t really there.

Wishful thinking could do that to a person.

But there they were, in Justin’s girly scrawl.

I love you.

“See you later, Lance,” Justin said with a wave, smiling over his shoulder.

“Have a good one, man. Don’t burn the place down.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “How long have I worked here?”

Lance laughed, pulling his gloves on as he pushed the door open. “Forever. Dude,” he shivered. “It’s freezing out here.”

Justin smiled, noticing the snowflakes beginning to fall.

“Winter’s here. That’s for sure.”

Lance nodded and disappeared into the snow, probably to meet Chris at another fancy restaurant. Justin sighed, leaning against the counter.

Another slow night.

Another lonely night.

He’d probably have one customer at most. It was freezing outside, and no one wanted to venture out of their warm houses for a lousy cup of coffee.

He glanced up at the television, wrinkling his nose at the five-day forecast.

Snow, snow, and more snow.

He was glad he didn’t live about the video store anymore. Ella would be at home shivering instead of at home by the warm fire where she was now.

He sighed again, deciding to do something productive instead of just leaning against the counter sulking all night, and reached for a rag, wiping down the sticky counter and humming quietly to himself.

He jumped slightly when he heard the door jingle, looking up to greet the customer.

When his eyes met with familiar blue, he thought his knees were going to give out.

He didn’t say a word, mostly because he’d somehow lost the ability to speak.

Breathe.

Think.

Josh pulled up a stool, leaning his elbow on the counter as he sat down.

“You like jazz?”

Justin laughed then, a loud laugh that startled even himself.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “It’s all right.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

Justin looked up, meeting Josh’s eyes, searching for the answer to the only question that mattered.

“I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you that night, sitting in here all alone.”

Justin released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and reached out to stroke Josh’s cheek, his fingertips burning as he touched the cool skin.

“God I love you,” Justin whispered. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”

Josh smiled, his cheeks rosy. In his head, Josh blamed it on the cold, but Justin knew it was a sweet blush.

“Come over here,” Josh said, patting the stool next to him.

Justin climbed over the counter hastily, anxious to get as close to Josh as he could.

His heart skipped a beat when Josh’s arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him close. Justin buried his face in Josh’s shoulder, sliding his arms around Josh’s body.

“Still afraid of me?” Josh whispered, one hand absently stroking up and down Justin’s back.

Justin shook his head, holding Josh closer. “I could never be afraid of you. You’re perfect.”

Josh laughed, and Justin felt the vibration in his chest, warmth spreading through his body all the way to his toes.

“Perfect? I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would,” Justin mumbled, pressing his lips to Josh’s neck hesitantly. He smiled against the soft skin when he heard Josh sigh. “Like that?”

“You have no idea.”

“I missed you.”

“You said that already.”

“I know.”

“Am I interrupting something here?”

Justin pulled away from Josh quickly, eyes wide. “Sorry, we were just…” He grinned when he realized who it was. “Lance, you asshole! Scared the shit out of me!”

Lance smirked, shaking his head. “Get the hell out of here, Justin. You’re scaring off the customers.”

Justin frowned. “Are you firing me?”

“Nope. You’re off for the night. Someone called and asked if I’d cover your shift. Can’t imagine who it might have been.”

Justin looked at Josh, who was looking at the ceiling and whistling innocently. He smiled, leaning over to kiss Josh’s neck again. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Josh smiled.

Justin shrugged his coat on, lacing his fingers with Josh’s as they headed for the door.

As they walked out into the cold, Josh put his arm around Justin’s shoulders, pulling him close and kissing him on the cheek.

Justin turned to him and smiled. “Let’s go home.”



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