Part 4


“Night night, Ella Bella,” Justin whispered, kissing his daughter on the forehead. “And you too, Bella,” he remembered, kissing the kitten’s head. Ella giggled, throwing her arms around Justin’s neck.

“I love you Daddy!”

“Love you too, sweetheart. Sleep tight. Daddy will come in and kiss you when he gets home.”

“Are you going on a date, Daddy?” Ella giggled.

“No, Miss Ella, I most certainly am not. I just have something I need to take care of is all.”

“You smell good. And you look nice.”

Justin looked down at his dark denim jeans and white t-shirt, then back up at his daughter. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he smiled, waving. “Night, babygirl.”

Justin sighed as he closed the door to his daughter’s bedroom. He’d never been more nervous in his entire life than he was right now.

“Justin, would you please tell me where you’re going?” Lynn urged.

“Mama, I told you. I have something I need to take care of. I won’t be late, I promise. And if I’m going to be, I’ll call.”

“I’m worried about you, sweetheart. Did you claim the lottery ticket yet?”

Justin rolled his eyes. “No, mother. I didn’t. OK? Drop it. I still have the ticket, I don’t plan on losing it, and I’m fine. OK? Now I gotta get going or I’ll be late.”

“Be careful, Justin,” Lynn warned.

Justin rolled his eyes again and walked out the door.

He was glad he didn’t live far from downtown, because the walk to Moody was only about eight blocks. He shivered under his light coat, bringing the material closer to his body. He hadn’t been able to afford a winter coat yet, and the cold weather was just setting in.

Shuddering, he turned the corner and sighed in relief. He was finally here.

“ID please,” the bouncer said gruffly, holding out his hand.

He looked at Justin’s ID, then at Justin, and nodded, waving him inside.

Justin wished he had a watch so he knew what time it was. He leaned up against a wall in the far end of the club and waited nervously as the time ticked by.

Finally the lights dimmed and a man stepped on stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you all to Moody! Thanks for joining us this evening. Tonight, we’ve got a crowd favorite back to play for us. Please give it up for JC Chasez!”

Justin’s breath caught in his throat when Josh took the stage. Clad simply in denim jeans and a tight black shirt, Josh was barefoot, eyes closed as he began to sing.

Love in the distance
Reach for resistance
Hoping to find
Now and forever
Lying together
Moments in time

For the rest of the song, Justin stared. He couldn’t believe how truly amazing Josh really was.

Throughout the set, Justin thought he probably only blinked three times. He was too scared that he would miss something breathtaking.

When it was over, he remained at his place against the wall, debating whether or not to talk to Josh.

In the end, his conscience won out; he had something that belonged to Josh, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to give it to him.

He made his way through the club, shrugging off the innocent touches of random men and women. He kept his eyes glued on the object of his attention, not stopping until he stood directly behind him.

“Uh,” said the man that Josh was talking to. He nodded towards Justin and smirked. “Looks like you’ve got company.”

Josh frowned a little and turned around, eyes brightening when he saw Justin. “Justin,” he said softly, smiling. “You came.”

Justin nodded, unable to speak.

“How did you know I’d be here?”

Justin shrugged, looking at the floor. He jumped when Josh placed two fingers under his chin, lifting his face. “I’m glad you came.”

“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

Josh nodded and grabbed Justin by the hand, leading him to the back of a club, down a long hallway, and into his dressing room.

“Have a seat,” he said, nodding towards the sofa as he took a long drink from the bottle of water he was holding.

Justin sat, playing with his hands.

“What can I do for you, Justin?”

“I…um…here,” he said, shoving a crumpled piece of paper at Josh.

Josh frowned, looking at Justin in confusion. “What’s this?” he asked, answering his own question a second later. “The lottery ticket? But why?” he laughed.

“I…I won,” Justin whispered, avoiding Josh’s eyes.

Josh laughed again, harder this time. “Justin, no one won the jackpot. They announced it on the news.”

Justin nodded, running a hand through his hair. “I know. I…I didn’t win the jackpot. I…I got 5 out of 6.”

Josh’s eyes widened. “5 out of 6.”

Justin nodded.

“Justin, that’s—“

Justin nodded again.

Before he knew what was happening, Josh had pulled him to his feet and was crushing him in a hug. “God, Justin, that’s so great!” he squealed. “I’m so happy for you! God, no one could deserve it more.”

Justin pulled back and looked at Josh’s smiling face.

And blinked.

“But…this is your ticket,” he said, pointing to the paper. “You bought it, it’s your money.”

“Justin,” Josh said. “Don’t be ridiculous. I told you, OK? That ticket is yours. I had one of my own. I didn’t win. You did. And I couldn’t be happier for you.”

“You don’t even know me!”

“But I’d like to,” Josh said quietly, taking a step towards Justin.

“Josh, I—“

“I know. I know you don’t want my charity. But this isn’t charity, Justin. God, if it bothers you so much, give me a dollar. That’s how much I paid for the damn ticket! I don’t care about the money, OK? I don’t need the money. Keep it. Buy something nice for your daughter. Move into a new place. Put some money away. Buy yourself a car. God, be young, Justin! Live your life to it’s fullest. Fulfill all your dreams. Go back to school! I want you to, ok? I want you to.”

Justin couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He’d convinced himself that this money wasn’t really his, that he’d give it back to Josh and go back to living his meager life with his daughter.

And now…

“Justin?”

Justin nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good,” Josh whispered, stepping even closer to Justin. “Now take this,” he said, slipping the lottery ticket—along with his hand--into Justin’s back pocket and leaving both there. “And claim it. Get that money, Justin. Get it and take care of yourself.”

Justin swallowed hard, closing his eyes as Josh’s breath ghosted across his neck.

“Justin,” Josh breathed, and all Justin could do was nod. “Promise me you’ll go back to school.”

Justin nodded again. Right now, he’d promise anything Josh wanted him to. “Promise me, Justin.”

“I promise,” Justin croaked just as Josh’s tongue slipped out to lick at his neck.

“Good,” Josh murmured against the skin behind Justin’s ear. “Because you’re talented, Justin. I know you are. You deserve so much more that what you have.”

Justin felt his knees go weak as Josh kissed the tender spot where his jaw met his ear. “You’re beautiful, Justin. Has anyone ever told you that?”

Justin shook his head, eyes still closed.

“You are. You’re amazing,” Josh whispered, mouthing his way along Justin’s jaw. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Justin.”

“I…” Justin gasped as the hand in his pocket squeezed lightly.

“You what, Justin?” Josh asked, his mouth moving to the other side of Justin’s face, creating the same path it had just taken.

“I…I’ve never met…anyone…like you…either.”

Josh smiled against Justin’s cheek, pulling away slightly to look at Justin’s face.

“Justin, look at me.”

Justin’s eyes fluttered, opening to meet with the grey-blue of Josh’s.

“Dreams can come true,” Josh whispered just before he pressed his lips to Justin’s. Their mouths melted together in a secret dance, speaking words neither man had ever thought to say.

When Josh’s tongue slid against Justin’s own, sparks flew. Justin’s hands roamed JC’s strong back, searching for something to cling to, something to keep him from falling.

“Justin,” Josh panted, breaking the kiss. “Justin, please.”

Justin cocked his head, searching Josh’s eyes.

“Make love to me.”

Justin’s eyes widened, and he shook his head quickly. “I…I can’t. I’ve never…”

“Shh,” Josh said, placing a tender finger on Justin’s lips. “It’s ok. I’ll show you.”

Josh stepped back, eyes never leaving Justin’s, and peeled his shirt off of his body. He took Justin’s hands in his own and led them to his belt. “It’s ok,” he repeated, and Justin nodded, unbuckling Josh’s belt with shaking hands.

Josh leaned forward and kissed him, tongue twining with Justin’s, as Justin slid Josh’s pants over his hips. He kept his hands there, fingers dancing lightly over Josh’s stomach, teasing the waistband of his boxers.

Josh sighed into Justin’s mouth, pulling away slightly. “You don’t have to do this,” he said against Justin’s lips.

“I-I’m fine,” Justin stuttered.

Josh slid his fingers between Justin’s, bringing their hands together between their chests. “You’re not ready for this,” Josh said. “And I’m not going to rush you. Your first time shouldn’t be in a dressing room with a random musician anyway.”

Justin laughed lightly, kissing Josh’s nose. “I want you.”

Josh nodded. “I want you too. But not like this,” he said, gripping Justin’s still-shaking hands. “Not when you’re afraid of me.”

“I’m not—“

“Yes you are,” Josh smiled, cutting him off. “And that’s ok. You don’t even know me.”

“I want to know you,” Justin whispered.

Josh nodded. “I know.”

Justin looked at the clock and sighed, bringing Josh’s knuckles to his lips and kissing them. “I have to go.”

“I know,” Josh said.

“Tuesday?”

Josh nodded. “Tuesday.”

Justin reluctantly dropped Josh’s hands and headed for the door, but he was stopped when Josh grabbed his arm. He leaned in and kissed Justin tenderly, a kiss that held promises Justin couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

“Get that money, Justin. Get that money and make it work.”

Justin nodded before disappearing out the door.



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