Part 9


Gone

“Jayce, it’s Justin, open up,” Justin called through the closed door, knocking for the hundredth time. “We gotta get going, man, soundcheck in 45!”

When JC still didn’t answer, Justin shook his head and dragged his feet to Lance’s room. Lance, of course, let him in right away.

“I need the key to C’s room. He won’t get up.”

“No prob, man,” Lance said, fishing in his pockets for the card. He slipped it into Justin’s hand, patting him on the shoulder. “How’s he holding up?”

Justin shrugged. “I don’t know. Last night, after the show, I held him until he fell asleep. It didn’t take long, obviously, because the man is like walking slumber.”

Lance frowned. “Why were you holding him?” he asked, eyeing Justin suspiciously.

“Oh, come on, Lance. It was nothing like that,” Justin said. He didn’t mention the part about JC kissing him, because that would only make matters worse. “He was just…scared, or something. Clinging to me like he was afraid to be alone. He asked me to stay, so I did.”

“Nothing like that, huh? You keep telling yourself that.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Justin snapped.

“If you don’t see it, I’m not going to tell you. Just go get JC, man.”

Justin scowled at Lance and stomped down the hall, muttering to himself as he slid the key into JC’s door. “Fucking Lance. What does he know? And it wasn’t like it was a real kiss or anything. Just a friendly peck,” he said softly, wondering why his fingers were on his own lips as he spoke.

He leaned against the frame of the open door, remembering the night before.

After the show, JC had followed Justin back to the hotel, so close that Justin felt like he had another shadow. He’d asked JC if everything was all right, and JC had nodded silently. “Stay with me tonight, Justin? Please,” he’d whispered, his voice cracking.

And of course Justin had agreed, because he needed his best friend back and would do anything to make that happen. So he’d crawled next to JC in JC’s bed and let JC curl into his side, his nose pressed against Justin’s neck.

“Thank you for everything, Justin,” he’d whispered against Justin’s skin, and Justin felt a familiar tingle race through his body. JC sat up a bit, staring down at Justin through sad blue eyes. “I’ll never forget you.”

And that was when it happened. JC had leaned down and pressed his lips to Justin’s. Softly, and no tongue, and it was…nice.

He’d looked into Justin’s eyes once more, smiling sadly, before resting his head on Justin’s shoulder.

That still left the question of what JC meant when he said “I’ll never forget you,” but Justin didn’t have the chance to ask him. JC was already sound asleep.

“JC, come on, man, you gotta get up,” Justin called into JC’s room, shaking himself free of the memory. “JC?”

Justin looked around the room, frowning when he noticed how clean it was.

The realization finally hit him that none of JC’s things were here. The bed was made, the closet was empty, and the only thing left in the room was a white note taped to the bathroom mirror.

Justin ripped it down and read slowly, his eyes widening in horror and fear and a million other emotions that he wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with.

Justin—

I know you’ll be the one to get this. You always wake me up when I’m late. Thank you for that. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t take it. I can’t be around you when I can’t see you. I can’t stand the thought of you disappearing from my life, so it’s easier if I just go. You’re a blur, Justin. Just a blur. Ever since I realized it, you’re nothing but a blur.

I love you.

~Josh

“Lance!” Justin screamed, running full speed down the hall, tears burning at the corners of his eyes. “Lance!”

“Justin?” Lance asked as Justin shoved past him into the room. “Kid, what’s wrong?”

“He’s…he’s…” Justin panted, trying to catch his breath. “He’s gone!”

He thrust the note at Lance and collapsed onto Lance’s bed, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Gone…” Justin whispered. “He’s gone.”



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